• Member Since 6th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Ice Star


I'm asexual. I literally don't give any fucks.

Sequels1

T
Source

Shining Armor plans to introduce his marefriend, Cadance, to his parents for Hearth's Warming dinner. It’s months away, but it never hurt to plan ahead, after all. First, however, Cadance and him have to talk.


Cover art by Evehly. Contribute to the TVTropes page!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 45 )

I love Cady. She is perf

Cute take on struggling teenage Cadance. I always am amused by alicorn diet shenanigans.

Check that first sentence; I think you're missing a word.

A pretty cute story, though I was surprised to see Shining Armor eating so much. Multiple sandwiches, bags of chips, and more? He's either super hungry all the time or a carbo-loader.

Shining must have a radical workout routine if he eats that much junk food whilst still being the Captain of the Royal Guard.

Also, I love your Cadance depictions so much.

It was something about decompression sickness. I don't know why somepony would write a song about that, Cady has the strangest music tastes.

I understood this reference.

8317445
Cady is a sweet little stoner.
8317448
Thank you for reading and catching that! It's been fixed.
8317504
I actually wasn't going for the A/alicorns stuffing their faces adorably angle with Cady here, but implying she had the munchies from some, uh, earlier activities. My Celestia and Luna will eat a ton though.
8317504
Horses do eat more with humans, but he also would have a ton of work to do as a royal. Even walking about the city all day and having to see fancypones eat fancylunches probably has him hungry often.
8317522
Of course you got that reference, faget. I wouldn't say Shiny is the cap. yet. He's still pretty young here and is flustered by the attention of the other guards, as well as able to take super nonchalant lunch breaks with Cady. I like writing Shiny like Andrew from The Breakfast Club and a bit of a 90's pone instead of a tabletop game playing super nerd. That way, he's levelheaded compared to hipster!Cady but still a lovable dork. It also makes it easier for Bender!Sombra to pick on him.

Oh gods, how did she fit six of those in her mouth? No, wait, that's seven... what even... how... is this some kind of freaky magic she learned?

Keep her away from pancakes and crêpes Shining!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/2/22/835142__safe_artist-colon-underpable_princess+cadance_princess+celestia_princess+luna_twilight+sparkle_alicorn_alicorn+tetrarchy_crepe_derp_eating_eyes.png

8317824
That's adorable... or at least Cady is. I think Twi broke, and Celly's gone beyond normal pancake speed... and oh god... is Luna gargling them?

8317829

is Luna gargling them?

I think she is just chewing (LOUDLY) with her mouth open

8317866
Wow, what a slob.

8317867
As Significant Other commented:

<documentary voice="David Attenborough">
And here we seen the majestic alicorn of the day breaking her morning fast. She has successfully stalked and ambushed a platter of fresh crêpes migrating from the kitchen through her dining room domain. After bringing down the choicest morsels, she lets out a bellowing belch to alert any nearby alicorn competitors that this platter is marked for her and her alone. She violently tears into into its soft, fluffy crêpes, rending them end from end and smearing her muzzle with its sugary, syrupy maple lifeblood. This grim spectacle is repeated morning after morning, as the alicorn is an insatiable breakfast predator with a voracious appetite. A mature, fully grown alicorn is fully capable of consuming a stack of crêpes down to the platter in under a minute. A congress of alicorns like this can wipe out entire kitchens worth of pancakes in a single morning.
</documentary>

8317930
...I'm just going to quietly upvote this.

8317930
That was incredibly easy to read in his voice

8317986

That was incredibly easy to read in his voice

Guess whose documentaries the both of us grew up listening to?
:twilightsmile:

Going back to the story, as 8317448 said, I too am amused by alicorn diet shenanigans. I have this silly picture in my head of Shining packing an absolutely massive lunch (complete with pegasus delicacies such as gravlax and lox much to the puzzlement of his mum and squadmates) only for the majority of it to be eaten by Cadance...

Cookies are love, cookies are life :heart:

So Cady, while probably high or coming off a high, decided to join the reserves. How can this be a good idea in any way, shape or form?

I will admit, probably the ensuing lols and nothing more.

8318176
She's actually just hanging out with Shiny on his lunch break.

Yeah, Equestria is a pretty uneventful place.

the draconequus, Discord - a replica statue of the monster sat in the Canterlot Garderns!

There were fake legends too, made up by ponies from this and that and absorbed into folklore. ... The Mare in the Moon... a figure named Luna, who was supposed to be a moon goddess of some kind.

Shining Armor jinxed it for everyone. Every villain in the show, it was all because of him.

8318181
You are aware that 'weekend warrior' is a slang term for reservists? And that's Cadence's line;

"I'm a weekend warrior!" She pumped a hoof in the air.

8318541
From Merriam Webster

Definition of weekend warrior

  1. :  a person who participates in a usually physically strenuous activity only on weekends or part-time

From Urban Dictionary
weekend warrior
a person who holds a regular job during the week which restricts their ability to party/go on trips/partake in awesome activities, and thus plans epic weekend adventures to compensate. As much variation and quantity of awesomness is packed into the weekends as physically possible, warranting the rest of the workweek to recharge for the next weekend.


Learner's definition of WEEKEND WARRIOR

[count] US, informal

: a member of the military reserves who trains on the weekends and for a few weeks every year

: a person who does a particular activity (such as a sport) only on the weekends

I feel there is suppose to be a joke in here, but whatever it was, it went over my head. :(

You are disturbed now...but later? Later you will be VERY thankful!

8318541
8318807

A weekend warrior is also slang for someone who smokes pot on the weekends or occasionally/casually as opposed to being addicted to it or engaging in it super unhealthily all the time, etc. That would be what Cadance is referring to, seeing Shining Armor's reaction is to facehoof.

8318324
Yes and no. Cadance would believe the same things too, and so would the majority of Equestria. Princess Celestia was known to have defeated Discord and she turned him to stone, but nopony would believe that the statue was the actual Discord, just lying about like that.

As for Princess Luna? Since this is actually a little slice of fluff in a larger series of stories, Luna was actually written out of history entirely after Nightmare Moon happened. A couple nations outside of Equestria would debate if she (Luna) was a myth or not and who she was. Her image would only exist in things like an ancient tapestry or the stained glass windows in Canterlot Castle, but nopony would know who she is or what she was supposed to be, and Luna would have likely been dismissed as some kind of symbol (when her image was used at all) until she actually showed up. Books like the one Twilight had in the opener would have been dismissed as - like what Spike said - 'an old ponies' tale'.

So Shining is really just repeating what he thinks is true and what his ancestors believe.

I asked Cadence, pulling out

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

the rest of lunch

( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

from my large

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

brown bag

( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

8318807
Thanks... ?
8319185
Did not know that... honestly, didn't really want to know that.

8319218
T H E M O R E Y O U K N O W
8319213
Check the rating.

8319264
lol i have mature turned off
(good thing, too)
(just wanted an excuse to make a lennyface joke tbqfhwyfam)

8319264
Not sure when that's ever going to be useful information. If you're smoking pot on your personal time, then I really don't want to know, because then I don't have plausible deniability when I'm asked why I didn't turn you in.
8319213
Better idea than Ice had... don't check the rating, just quote things and give the absolute minimal context.

8319320
> turning someone in for pot
> thinking about turning someone in for pot

> being this much boy scout

daddy please

8319320
I just write Cadance as somepony who does stuff like this in her some of her spare time, especially since she's still pretty young here. Why did me clearing up the meaning of the phrasing I did lead to the assumption that I did this simply because I know what it means? That's like me assuming that someone does coke because they know that coke is something other than a soda.

8319315
Gotcha.
8319326
They don't even sell cookies so wtf.

8319320
Dude you know you can write characters with certain traits and not actually have them yourself as a writer, right?

8319449
But wait, then why have I written, like, three murderers and a slew of god-beings if I'm not one myself?

8319320
..you're aware that it's perfectly legal in some places, right?

8319326
I actually would turn someone in for that, mostly because I rather like the idea of having a job and not having the federal government put me on their permanent shitlist (which is entirely what could happen, and before anyone points it out, that is not me overdramatizing it, that is a reality).

8319381
I think you are misinterpreting what my meaning due to ambiguous wording, for that I apologize. In this case 'you' was not in reference to any one specific individual, but rather a reference to any individual.

8319449
See above.

8319769
Yes, in some places and circumstances it is legal. Key word here, I want you to focus on it, it's a very important one: some.

8320544
...Okay, but don't you think you're taking this a little too seriously since there's no damning evidence and instead it's just a silly bit of pony fluff that you're commenting on that happened to have some stoner-style comedy (despite the stoner character in question still being depicted as an individual who is still responsible enough and has a friend to look after them)? Seriously, for a story on this site involving even a little mention of any kind of substances, it's a very tame, fluffy piece compared to some of the more depraved shit on here. There's no abuse, just a silly young adult Cadance who's a little bit of a party girl and a caring, responsible Shining to keep her grounded on her sillier and not-so-silly moments.

8320544
daddy for fuck's sake

8320613
You leave amusing comments.

8320544

I assume you live in the united states where you may get permission to use it in certain states?

8318174
How can cookies be love when cookies need love like everything does? :raritywink:

8367007
They are literally love itself, they are self-sweetstaining

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