This Equestria, a different Equestria where Luna never became Nightmare Moon. Instead Celestia succumbed to her desire for everlasting peace in a world of light was twisted creating Daybreaker.
After a massive battle Luna emerged victorious thanks to her friends who the elements bestowed immortality to.
Now a millennium later Daybreaker returned and was defeated by Sunset Shimmer, Luna's student and her friends: Spitfire Flare, Strawberry Sunrise, Coco Pommel, Nurse Redheart, and Trixie Lulamoon, Also her dragon assistant Ember.
A year later an ancient order devoted to the worship of Daybreaker seeks her Resurrection and is using Sunset to do it, however the ritual is interrupted and a mysterious and odd young filly named Helia is created. Now its upto Sunset who happened upon the creature in the Everfree Forest to protect her from the cult and from her own past, all in order to see to it the crimes primordial to this innocent, yet somewhat bratty young life are not the catalyst to usher in Daybreaker's Resurrection.
Cover Art by: http://blinkingpink.deviantart.com/
So this is like an Alt. Past Sins? I will enjoy reading this :P
I have to say, I've only HEARD of the Past Sins story, but so far, this seems like a really good altered version. I particularly like how you're focusing just as much on the differences between the characters as the similarities. The prologue did a splendid job explaining the important bits of the universe AND setting up the future story.
I will very definitely be looking forward to more of this, but will also be quite willing to be patient.
This is a good AU. Props to you.
8318021
Yes, yes it is.
Also I plan to do a crossover fic at some point in the future where Extremes meet:Nyx Vs. Helia!
8318168
Working on chapter two right now, this will show Sunset's relationship with Ember and the Helia 6.
I wasn't alone in selecting the 6 either it was a joint venture where I asked for input from other authors and artists I knew including Helia's designer Saturnstar14.
You are gonna love the changes I made why even the CMC is different, I won't give to much away though maybe a hint?
The cannon CMC are bullies and one of this AU's CMC is a former bully in the cannon universe.
8318230
Stay tuned I hope to have chapter 2 up today or tomorrow.
8318242
8318242 Also will Twilight and the cannon main 5 be in this as sapporting characters.
8318284
It will have more focus on Ember and the Helia 6(My AU name for the Main 6 here.)
8318288
Yes they will I am unsure about Twilight's role she will either replace Moondancer or Sunset in this continuity, maybe Starlight.
As Starlight will be replacing Trixie as the boast buster stand in.
AJ will own an apple empire like in Ponies of the dark water, Dash will be working at the rainbow factory under her OC older sister(Its a nod to a creepy pasta but the rainbows are not made that way!), Fluttershy the town vet or maybe a weather captain, Rarity will be a geologist and appear in canterlot stories and Pinkie her location is unclear, she could pop up anywhere really.
None of these are set in stone, its more like they will appear at some point but will have lived different lives.
Sweet set up so far, of course I got to ask, what will Filly Daybreaker be called, if it's Nyx I hope you give credit to the original author of "Past Sins" then since he created the original Nyx character.
8318359
I doubt it'll be 'Nyx' as that name originates from the greek primordial goddess of night.
And looking at the recent comments, it seems to be Helia, named after Helios, the greek personification of the sun.
8318359
I didn't design the Filly Saturnstar14 artist behind the Past Sin's comic did and she named her too and has input in my story.
http://img08.deviantart.net/a0b5/i/2017/166/2/c/concept_helia_by_saturnstar14-dbcu7kn.png
8318298
Maybe Twi could be the stand-in for Moondancer (not only is she the most sympathetic of the three possibilities [as at least she wasn't actually hurting anyone but herself], but it would be a good nod to her canon Equestria Girls counterpart).
Besides, I doubt she would make a good stand in for canon Starlight because Spike and Shining Armor would be the only two guys who would be as close to her as Sunburst was to Starlight when she was a kid. Shining Armor wouldn't work because, as the older brother, he would realistically be EXPECTED to get his Cutie Mark before his little sister anyway. Spike wouldn't work because, as a dragon, he can't GET a Cutie Mark anyway.
And Starlight as a stage magician? I have to say, yeah, I could see that. Though shutting Starlight up would be more difficult because she actually IS powerful enough to back up the vast majority of her boasts. :-D
8318431
Very good input and under advisement. I suppose that works with Twi and Starlight's magic act, yeah she uses the staff of sameness to swap cutiemarks and copy other ponies talents that will be the extent of her powers for now. Basically she is a big copycat, also Sunburst will have a major role in this story and their relationship will be touched upon.
Having Read Past Sins and it being one of my favorite stories on this site, I can say you have a big reputation to stand up to... I shall be watching, but I've seen too many stories like this (AU twists and Second Author Worldbuilding alike) fizzle out after the first few chapters to invest myself in it yet.
8318471
Well I will surpass you expectations, I do not claim this will be the next Past sins or better, that's impossible. I have read all the Penstroke penned Nyx stuff and am a huge fan myself. Also I am not someone to just cast aside concepts, sure I change them but never outright abandonment.
8318490 you clever... I was thinking the same idea!
8320807
Same thing about what? I mean do you agree that its impossible for me to surpass or rival Past Sins? Because no duh thats impossible.
8320808 no, the fact that you switched roles with nightmare moon and daybreaker, making daybreaker become this universe's counterpart to nyx.
8320813
So you were going to write a fic about it too?
8320817 well, only if no one else did. But it turns out you actually had a similar idea, and put to paper. But enough about that, let me just say I like what see. I hope you do good, and that this story will go far.
8321607
Well I am open to notes and thanks for the praise.
This chapter might have taken a while, but was definitely well worth the wait. Once again, excellent job on the characterizations, universe info, exchanges and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I particularly liked the nods to the comics (when Sunset was thinking about Trixie), how you're playing up the differences between Ember and canon Spike as well as the similarities AND the first meeting between Sunset and Hella (as well as, coincidentally, EMBER and Hella). Also, judging by some of the info here, I'm guessing that Fleur is going to be in the role of Cadance (though I WILL admit that I COULD be wrong on that).
I'll definitely be looking forward to more, but I am also very willing to be patient.
It's good to know there will be major differences to this alt. story & past sins. Again looking forward to more chapters
I love this story so far can't wait for more of it
I think you might make a big hit with this, just saying. this story has enthralled me just as much as Past Sins had, and its just starting. It's like reading Past Sins again, yet I don't know how its gonna end. Please continue!!!
8333339
I intend too, a new chapter is in the works right now. This one will establish the other AU Six and their personalities.
Imagine ponies you knew, ponies you love re-imagined with a different life? Imagine Spitfire as a jaded but authoritarian flight team captain shooting for the stars after falling to earth like Icarus?
Imagine Redheart as a tender soul constantly pushing for perfection and doting over all over the most minor of wound, due to a tragic past? Imagine Strawberry Sunrise a recent pony who is a total unknown developed as a major rival to the Apple Empire of Apple Inc let by CEO AJ?
Imagine Coco Pommel as a quiet, reserved, theater loving apprentice to the bossy Suri...........oh wait thats just the norm.
8326511
Still iffy on the details for this AU, but Fluer being mentioned is important because in another fic I am working on, an imprint for the Freeport saga Fluer will be a childhood friend of Sunset's. She is actually the tomboyish daughter of a guard captain and joined the EUP, but eventually became Fancy Pantz bodyguard and acts like a trophy girlfriend to trick enemies of the high nobility.
Her purpose in this fic was mostly a nod to that, she may appear or she may not. Her role may even be similar in this either way she would likely be closer to Shining Armor then Cadence in that they are both soldiers.
8336782
Okay. Thanks very much for the correction. I'm freely admitting I was wrong.
8336773
Sounds like we're in for a good time then. :D!!!
how about "Sunrise" for the filly's name?
8338664
Already decided by her designer she is called Helia, also Strawberry Sunrise is the name of a member of the six.
Favorite ret con is trixie.
8342481
Well thanks. Godzillawolf helped me with it
I have to say, this IS a good job on the backstory info of the story's main heroes.
As for Strawberry Surprise's special talent, perhaps it could be agriculture, particularly in the field of strawberry farming.
And, just out of curiosity, was Sunset close enough to her seventh birthday at the time Ember hatched to make the math work? (By that I mean, Sunset was six when Ember hatched, but is now seventeen while Ember is ten. Last time I checked, seventeen minus six is eleven, not ten. Was there a mistake in the math or was Sunset just a month or two shy of her seventh birthday at the time?)
But, at any rate, I will definitely be looking forward to more of this story, but will also be quite willing to be patient.
8342617
Yes Sunset was gifted Ember's egg when she was 6 and 3/4.
Well her special talent just being put as Strawberries is a joke, but yes agricultural farming of Strawberry's is her talent. Its a joke about how in the fandom Applejack just does Apple.(When its much more then that its bucking and chores.)
Overall thanks and yes I am working hard my mom's surgery and my computer issues made working on my fic a bit tough. But I should be done before this coming Sunday.
I will try and get on done each week to week and a half.
8342637
Thanks very much. :-D
considering that past sins was the fic that got me over my aversion to fanfiction this has quite the image to stand up to. there's not enough to render judgement yet, but it seems hopeful with my only real issues are details inherent to the au story form itself and at least in this one the initially rushed pace was justified to explain what changes were made, as long as it settles into a proper pace going forward i an see this having some interesting potential.
8343358
Also her sisters are Pena Colada and Berry-Punch.
Also Strawberry sunrise is a great mixologist.(After all her name is a smoothie type.)
Also Berrypunch is basically our big mac the odd sibling out after all both her younger sisters are pegasi and she is an earth pony, no wonder she drinks.
8343805
Thats why I put out this Data Card set so I don't need to do expositions any backstory stuff that would take up valuable time gets put here.
Very little I can say beyond excellent job on this latest chapter. It took a while, but was well worth the wait. Excellent work, as usual, on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I particularly loved the origin of the name Helia and Sunset's friends meeting Helia for the first time (especially the magic lesson Trixie gave her). And Sunset's adventure with this universe's AJ, without too many spoilers, was quite well done.
At any rate, I will very definitely be looking forward to more of this, but will also be fully willing to be as patient as necessary. After all, I have to respect the fact that real life concerns have to come first AND inspiration might not be always easy to come by.
8398872
Why thank you for the kind words as always.I worked very hard on this and hope it is well liked, I wanted to make everyone mesh together just right and not make them seem flawless, as the mane six here are also a work in progress.
Yes I have the life roles for the Cannon six mostly figured out and each will appear bit by bit in future chapters, as for Helia's name I wanted to have it be similar but different to how the Nyx name came about. Sadly with Campfire tales Helia the wandering sorceress is now just a rip off of Mistmane.
8400261
Yeah. I gotcha. And no prob. After all, quality work is always worth the wait. :-D
8400917
Thanks, thanks also after talking it over with my friend I made a descision.
SPOILERS!!!!
Fluer will be a stand in for Shining Armor and the royal wedding was her with Prince Blue-Pose the Prince of Direction, he was replaced by the evil king Thorax, but was stopped by Sunset and Fluer.
... I believe I have seen something like this. Can't wait to see it again!
Editor would be a good, and I suggest you find one if you haven't already. But, I like where this is going. At this point, it feels... forced, for lack of a better word. You need to let it flow freely. Keep up the good work, and don't let anything drag you down.
8403618
What an unusual comment bu appreciated.
8403658
Well hanks for he kind words and I have an editor Chappedlippenguin bu sometimes he is a bi lax with what he finds.
Elaborate how it feels forced? I mean I tried to really make it organically flow and also be dramatic.
Intrusting facks about the royal family I hope you do the Concil next