... That Others Could Live.
Rainbow Dash was not pleased, not in the slightest. Looking through the window by her side, she could see the rest of her team begin packing up the equipment and balls they had been using for soccer practise. She would have been out there too, had it not been for an unfortunate collision with Flitter when trying to score a goal. Flitter attempted a sliding tackle to get the ball away from Dash, but her boots had caught between Dash's feet instead. The resulting collision tripped up Dash and her attempted recovery made her land awkwardly on her left foot.
All she could do now was sit on one of the new beds in the school's infirmary with a pack of ice resting on her ankle and wait for the swelling to ease up. Rainbow had asked Nurse Redheart if there were any books or magazines nearby for her to read, but the nurse had brushed her off with no acknowledgement at all. And while Rainbow was willing to admit that Redheart was starting to get slightly more frustrated at her frequent visits with all kinds of sports-related injuries, Rainbow could tell that something was off about the nurse.
Not willing to risk further earning the ire of the nurse by harassing her again, Rainbow took it upon herself to find something to entertain herself with in the small infirmary. Gingerly, she slid herself off the bed and made her way to the nurse's desk, using the other beds and anything else available to support herself with on the small trek across. Dash reached the desk and looked around the various shelves, looking for a novel, magazine, something to read. All she could see were various journals and manuals on various illnesses, injuries, treatments and advances in medical technology.
Dash let out a disappointed sigh, and set her target on the drawers by her legs. However, as she began to bend over, a glint of light at the back of the nurse's desk caught her eye. Curious, she looked over and found a small photo frame hidden in the back corner. Inside the frame was a photo along with three patches, but the subject matter left Rainbow both confused and curious.
It was of a military helicopter, a Blackhawk if Rainbow remembered correctly from some of the action movies she had seen, with a group of soldiers standing in front of it. One of the soldiers was a women, light pink hair pulled back in a bun and a pair of dark wrap-around sunglasses resting atop her head. The sleeves of her uniform bore a flag and one of the patches that was in the frame: a black square with "PJ" printed on it in white lettering. The rest of the soldiers wore similar attire, with a few differences here and there.
But Dash could not believe what she was seeing. The woman in the picture was the same woman that was the school's nurse, Redheart.
"Miss Dash, what do you think you are doing?" The question caught Rainbow by surprise, and as she stood up the back of her head slammed into one of the overhanging shelves. "Oh dear... come here, we'll get some ice on that for you." Redheart guided the bruised and battered girl back to the bed she was resting on.
"Sorry about that Nurse, but I was just trying to find something to read. It gets boring just sitting there and doing nothing- ow, that's cold!" Dash winced as Redheart applied another cold-pack to the back of her head.
"I assumed as much, but that doesn't mean you can go around and rummage through other people's belongings. You could have asked, you know." The nurse said, frowning slightly at Rainbow who looked back to her in confusion.
"But, I did ask. Earlier, when you gave me the ice for my ankle." The answer left Redheart confused now, and she stood up with an eyebrow lifted.
"You did?"
"Uh, yeah. But you didn't answer me. I thought you were ignoring me..." Rainbow crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at the nurse. Redheart rubbed her face with her hand and sighed softly.
"I'm sorry, I mustn't have heard you. It's... it's been a day." The tone of the nurse voice made Rainbow start to feel concerned for the woman. She stole a glance back at the picture and then at the nurse, who noticed where Rainbow was looking. "Oh. You saw that... I guess you have a few questions?"
Rainbow sat up on the bed and looked at Redheart in surprise. She had expected the nurse not to be so forthcoming after being caught snooping, but who was she to deny a potentially interesting story. "I do. I never would have guessed that you were in the Army."
"Air Force, actually." Redheart corrected, pulling over a stool to sit down on beside the girl's bed. "Equestrian State Air Force." The nurse leant back and looked out the window towards the sky. "It was years ago, I enlisted out of high school because I couldn't get into the medical school I wanted. The ESAF had a reputation as leading the field in aerospace medicine and I figured that six years of service, after training mind you, was more than enough to earn some training in medicine and become qualified to work in the civil medical field."
Rainbow could see the logic, she had seen the recruiting posters and TV ads for the different armed services before, and was aware of some of the benefits you received if you signed up. "What was it like?"
Redheart chuckled at the question. "Tough, really tough. The military back then was more dominated by males, and combat-roles had only been opened up to women just prior to when I enlisted. Of the two hundred new recruits in my intake, only about thirty or forty of them were women. And they all chose more administrative and supporting jobs, like air traffic control, signals intelligence and analysis, public affairs. Not me, I wanted something in medicine. I was going to go into the Aerospace Medical Service roles, but then I saw a small pamphlet on something else."
"And what was that?" Rainbow asked, eyes wide and her attention locked squarely on the nurse, the pain in her ankle and the back of her head forgotten at this point.
"Air Force Pararescue, part of Special Operations Command. We've all seen those movies with those highly trained soldiers: Navy SEALs, Delta Force, the Army Rangers. I never would've thought that the Air Force would have the same, as the first thing everyone thinks of are the fighter jets and fighter pilots. But yes, the Air Force also has their own 'special forces'. Pararescue is one of them." Redheart leant forward in her seat and looked Rainbow in the eye. "They go through the same physical and mental training as SEALs, Delta, but on top of that are also trained in combat first aid and advanced live saving. And they are the ones who fly out right into the middle of battle and pick up wounded soldiers, even behind enemy lines.
"They also conduct search and rescue for missing personnel, as well as contribute in disaster relief with civilian agencies both locally and abroad. It's a very intense job, and only the top fifteen or twenty percent of applicants complete the selection course and training." Redheart looked over to the picture on her desk and smiled. "And it's a long course too, about two years long. But when I saw that pamphlet and read about what they could do and what they did, I knew then that being a 'PJ' was what I should do."
Rainbow was amazed. Just from how Redheart was speaking and how passionate she was about her old life said enough to Rainbow about how 'awesome' it was. "What was it like?"
Redheart froze, only for a moment, before looking over at Rainbow with a forlorn expression, any trace of the nurse's earlier expression now gone. "Rainbow, you need to understand something before I answer your question. Being active-duty on the front lines during a war, it's not 'awesome' or 'cool' like some movies or games portray it like. It's rough, it's horrible, and it's absolutely terrifying. And for a pararescuewoman, or any combat medical personnel sent to a warzone, you see the worst of it."
Nurse Redheart pulled her stool in closer to the bed, and leant in closer to Rainbow. "It was my second tour in Afghaneighstan, with the 38th Rescue squadron..."
Senior Airwoman Redheart rolled her shoulders, trying to shift around some of the weight from her JPC combat vest as the HH-60G Pavehawk flew across the arid sands below. They'd been in the air for twenty five minutes, and the two helicopters were racing to the scene of an active assault on a remote forward outpost many kilometres away. The aircrew had estimated a flight time of half an hour to the base, and half an our back home. The mere time taken was enough to put Redheart on edge. One of the golden rules of emergency medical treatment was to get a patient back to a hospital within an hour. Leave it longer and the odds of survival from sustaining serious injuries plummeted.
"Hey, I'm getting reports that we've got active shoulder-fired rockets hitting the base. So make sure you have all the kit you need ready to go, I'm not gonna sit on the ground waiting for you." The pilot of their Pavehawk said over the intercom to the Combat Rescue Officer, Lieutenant Lifeline. Redheart glanced over at the CRO as he keyed his headset to reply.
"Got it. Hey team, you heard the man. Ready up all of the gear bags. From what the preliminary reports say, we'll need everything. Redheart, you've got the re-sus pack, right?" Redheart looked beside her and saw the RUSH 72 backpack with 'RESUS' written over it in black marker pen. She unclipped it from the back wall and slung both straps over her shoulders, then turned back to him and gave him a thumbs up. "Good. Hey, pilot, will One-Two be doing the same? If not, can you get them to do so? I have a feeling that we'll need all hands on deck."
"CRO, as far as I'm aware the plan is for me to drop you guys, then once I'm up and orbiting One-Two will do the same."
"Awesome." The intercom went silent as the team began their final checks. Lifeline reached over and opened the side door of the Pavehawk, the warm air rushing in as the helicopter began its descent into chaos. From up above, the team of PJs could see the base and the rising plumes of smoke coming from it, and the random streams of tracer being exchanged on the northern and eastern sides of the base. The helipads, thankfully, were located on the southern end, and already Redheart could see a row of stretcher-bound patients ready to be evacuated. She was thankful that she was wearing her clear protective glasses as the wash started to kick up pieces of dirt and rock as it started to land on the pad.
"Crew, touchdown in three, two, tail, main." The Pavehawk shuddered slightly as it landed, and both Redheart and Lifeline were the first to dismount. Redheart turned back to assist the other PJ in their team, Technical Sergeant Pulse, with the two collapsed stretchers they carried on board. With everything in hand, the three PJs quickly cleared the pad and watched as the helicopter took back off again. Lifeline led his team past the treated soldiers and made his way to the base's casualty collection point.
"Casualty Collection Point?" Rainbow asked, a little bit concerned by the term.
"Yeah, or a CCP. Most bases have them, kind of like how the school has the Evacuation Meeting Point. It helps keep everyone that was injured in one place to be triaged and treated, and keeps medical staff from being spread out too far." Redheart responded. "And it's never a pleasant place to be, regardless of why."
Redheart's combat pants were stained with a mixture of blood and sand, her eyes shut as she leant back from the body of a soldier who had been near a rocket that had landed a few meters too close. Despite hers and the others best efforts, the poor young man was too far gone by the time they could stop the bleeding. With a soft sigh, she peeled off her gloves and pulled out another pair from a pouch on the side of her vest before making her way to another injured soldier that Pulse was working on. The stream of fresh patients had slowed down as the fighting had finally finished with the enemy forces being pushed back with numerous air strikes, but there were still critically wounded men and women whose lives were still hanging in the balance.
"I've got her stable, blood pressure is rising slowly and her pulse is regaining strength. There's no blood flow to her left foot though." Pulse said as he hung an IV bag up onto a small stand beside the litter. "I'm not confident that she'll keep it, not with that damage."
"It'd be a miracle, that's for sure. Sing out if you need me, alright?" Redheart said as she walked away and over to Lifeline, who was conferring with both the senior medic on duty and the acting-base commander.
"... another ten minutes before the next wave of CASEVAC birds arrive, four Blackhawks and two Chinooks. We've also got a few MERT birds being sent to us from Camp Herrick, but they need to stop at Camp Stable to refuel before heading here. They'll be here within the next hour." Lifeline said as he pointed out their home base on the map. "I expect that we'll have everyone that's Cat Charlie and above evacuated before twelve hundred today."
"Sounds good Lieutenant. Does your team need anything at this time?" The base commander said, and Lifeline turned to look at Redheart expectantly. She shook her head, and turned back to see who else needed help, not wanting to disturb the CRO right now. As she walked between the litters of wounded, she checked on vitals and IV connections, double checked on bandages and wrappings, and briefly conferred with a few of the conscious men and women to make sure they weren't in too much pain.
Quite a number of people had been injured in the attack, mainly from explosions caused by incoming rocket and mortar fire.
"Pulse, this is Redheart, I'm going to head to the amenities for a few." Redheart called over the radio, pulling her FAST helmet on and buckling it up as she left the CCP to go relieve herself.
"Copy Red, be careful."
Redheart took her time walking through the base, looking around and surveying the damage sustained in the attack. Buildings had been partially demolished, tents and tarps blown over, HESCO walls knocked down and the sand within spilled across the ground. It would take a while to get the engineers and supplies needed to repair everything out to the remote base, and even more time to actually commence the repairs.
These thoughts left her mind as she arrived to the toilet block, and saw a pair of boots resting behind an overturned portable toilet unit. She rushed over and could see small bloodstains on the sand surrounding the area. Frantic, she keyed her radio. "This is Redheart, I need assistance over by the amenities area. Man down, man down!" Coming to the side of the unit, she leant down to see who was under it.
The soldier was wearing their vest and helmet, which was helping prevent the toilet unit from fully crushing them. However, the concerning part was the shard of plastic from the wall that was embedded in the soldier's lower torso, just below the bottom of the vest. She reached for the soldier's wrist and tried to feel for a pulse. It was there, but very weak. Sand and stone crunched behind her, and she looked back to see both Pulse and Lifeline running towards her. She picked herself up and shuffled over in order to try and move the toilet unit off of the soldier.
"They're alive, but they've got a very weak pulse. We need to get this thing off of them!" Redheart called as they came by her side. Together, they lifted the obstruction clear. Redheart leapt into action, crouching down to start removing the vest's components while Pulse placed his hands around the wound to try and stem the bleeding. Lifeline had ran back to retrieve a medical kit. She pulled the soldier's helmet off and took their pulse at the neck, and it was weaker than the one she felt on their wrist. Fearing the worst, Redheart firmly slapped the soldier on the side of the face to try and get a response. Surprisingly, the soldier woke.
"Hey, hey trooper! What's your name?" Redheart asked, testing him for a response.
"S... Silver..." His voice was weak and raspy, which further worried the PJ.
"And your last name? Come on Silver, what's your last name?"
"S.. Sentry"
"Good man Silver, good man. Can you tell me what hurts?"
"Everything." Silver said with a cough, his eyes clenching as his body started to react to the pain. Redheart wanted to try and help him, but with a weak pulse and a potentially low blood pressure they couldn't give him anything.
"I think he's bleeding internally, a lot of this looks arterial to me." Pulse said quietly to Redheart, not wanting to alarm the soldier below them. "We need to get him into an OR immediately, or else..."
"I know, but the MERTs are about an hour away." She whispered back. "Just do the best you can, okay?" She turned her attention back to Silver, who's skin was starting to turn a few shades paler. "Hey, Silver, talk to me buddy! Where'd you come from?"
"C-Canterot..."
"Yeah?"
"Y-yeah, grew u-up there... joined the Army t-to travel-" Silver started to cough more, and Redheart was worried as she could see droplets of blood starting to come up from his mouth. She heard running, and saw Lifeline rushing over with a pack over his shoulder. He slid to a stop and started working with Pulse to patch the soldier up. Redheart kept talking to Silver, kept him distracted as her colleagues worked on him.
"Have you seen much of the world yet?" She asked him, reaching down to hold his hand.
"N-no... only l-left AIT 'bout f-four months ag-go... first t-tour." He said, trying to smile for her.
"How old are you, Silver?"
"N-nineteen."
Redheart stopped to collect herself for a moment, gathering her thoughts. Rainbow was silent beside her, also reeling from the bombshell that had been dropped. This 'Silver' was only two years older than her. The thought that someone around her age had experienced something so horrific was a rude awakening for the girl, and it put some of her own problems of late in perspective.
"Redheart, we good to go?" Lifeline said to her as they prepared the young soldier to board their Pavehawk. His injuries were deemed too severe to wait for the regular Army CASEVAC birds or the MERT helicopters to arrive, and seeing as how most of the other wounded were stable or not far from being stable, Lifeline made the call for his team to return to base with Private Sentry.
"All secure." She replied, stealing a glance at the awake-but-quiet soldier on the stretcher. Lifeline nodded then raised a thumbs up to the Combat Controller who was looking after battlespace air control. Shortly after, their Pavehawk landed on the pad and they rushed to get aboard, knowing that they were fighting against the dreaded 'Golden Hour'.
Once the door on the side of the helicopter was shut, the aircraft lifted off and started to speed away back to base.
"Redheart, prep another blood IV for him, then get that bandage switched out for a fresh up. Pulse, let base know that our Cat Alpha is stable but critical and to have an ambo waiting for us right by the pad." Lifeline said as he started to cut off the remainder of Silver's uniform, performing another secondary wound sweep just to be safe. Besides the large penetrating wound, which they had left the shard of plastic in to help keep the wound closed, Silver's right forearm had suffered a suspected fracture and there was a moderate abrasion along his left leg. Both had been summarily dealt and now the focus was on keeling the young soldier alive and stable for the surgical team back at base. During the long flight home, Redheart and Pulse alternated between talking with Silver to keep him conscious and checking on his bandages and wounds to make sure there was not anymore bleeding.
"Silver! You're a fighter, you know that?" Redheart called out over the sound of the engines, twenty-five minutes into the return flight, checking on the soldier's response. When he didn't so much as move, her concern skyrocketed. "Silver! Can you hear me?!" She shook him by the shoulders, and his head started to roll around loosely. She quickly felt for a pulse, and almost panicked when she couldn't find one. "Lifeline! No pulse!" She shouted as she came to Silver's side and started performing chest compressions on him.
"Pushing Epi!" Pulse called as he injected a syringe of epinephrine into the soldier's bloodstream, taping the empty injector to Silver's good leg in order to keep track of how much is in the poor young man's system. Lifeline tapped Redheart on the shoulder, his other hand holding onto a portable defibrillator unit. She got the message and backed up to let the CRO prepare their patient for a shock.
"CRO, aircrew." The pilot's voice stirred Redheart from her position and she keyed the mike in Lifeline's stead.
"Go for PJ, CRO is busy."
"We're on final now, two mikes."
"Copy that, the sooner the better." Redheart said as she dove back onto Silver to continue compressions, waiting for Lifeline to give her the go to clear for another shock. She felt the helicopter shift and settle in for a landing, but she kept on pumping on Silver's chest. Pulse opened the door, then moved to grab one end of the stretcher. She was expecting Lifeline to tell her to get off for them to unload, but the CRO just picked up the other end and carried both herself and Silver off the helicopter and onto a wheeled stretcher-base that had been rushed to them by the base's medics.
The ambulance ride from the helipad to the base's hospital was one of the longest in her life, even though in the back of her head she knew that it took less than three minutes. She did not register the ambulance stopping in the set-down zone outside the hospital, nor did she register the resigned tone of Lifeline's voice when they unloaded Silver.
"Redheart!" She stopped her compression and looked up to Lifeline, determination still alight in her eyes. "He's gone... it's over."
Redheart wiped a tear from her eye and shook her head lightly. Rainbow sat there with tears streaming down her eyes. Both of them sat in silence as the outcome of Redheart's story sunk in.
"I had to be taken off watch for the next few days. I knew from the very start, when I decided that I wanted to go into medicine, that I couldn't save everyone. He wasn't the first patient I'd lost in duty, but I think the fact that he was so young, and that we were so close to getting him the help he needed... I think that's what got to me. I completed my tour, took a leave of service, and then served another half-tour before our forces were withdrawn. After I got back, I decided not to renew my enlistment and went back into civilian life. I worked in small clinics across the country before ending back home here, a nurse in the school that we both went to." Redheart said with a sad smile.
"Wait... he went here as well?"
"Yeah, I did some digging with Principal Celestia's assistance. He graduated five years after I did, and died a year and a half later in combat. Left behind a younger brother... and it scares me how much alike they look. Different shade of blue for his hair though, and a different hair style."
"He had a brother? Wait... what was Silver's last name again?" Rainbow asked, dread starting to build in her gut.
"He was Flash's older brother, Rainbow... Private Silver Sentry, 7th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Infantry Division. Killed in Action, Koreigngal Province, Afghaneighstan." The nurse looked down at the floor sadly, wiping another tear from her eye.
"Does Flash know?" Dash asked after a few minutes silence.
"As far as I'm aware, he doesn't know about my involvement... and I'd appreciate if it was kept that way. I find it hard enough that every time I look at that young man I'm reminded of the one that died under my hands, it'll be harder if I knew that he knew I was there when it happened." Redheart said quietly. Then, surprisingly, she stood up and straightened herself up and looked down at Rainbow. "Now, it looks like the swelling on that ankle has subsided. I suggest you take it easy and strap it up to mitigate any further injury. If it still hurts after a day or two, I recommend seeing your doctor or a physio. I hope you have a good evening, Miss Dash."
The sudden change of mood and attitude scared and concerned Dash, but after the story she had heard, she felt it appropriate to give the nurse some time to herself. "Right... thank you for your help, Nurse Redheart." Dash slowly collected her belongings and made her way to the door, but stopped and looked at the nurse. "Nurse?"
"Yes, Miss Dash?" Redheart said from her seat at the desk, her eyes locked onto the photo that was now in her hands.
"Thank you... and lest we forget."
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Damn you, Pulling on my heartstrings like that.
Wait
This story is featured
tf
Served 8 months in the Canadian Army Reserve myself. One of the guys I knew in Basic volunteered for deployment, and well...yeah. Poor bastard.
That was actually about as accurate as it gets.
'nam!!! my granddad seen it to!
The sad part is, I know a couple guys who came back and they've never forgotten the names and faces of anyone they tried to save but couldn't. Sometimes, the ones they never saved were from the same town. And to read this story, it reminds me of the looks on their faces when they first told me. For this story, I have great respect for, because of how accurate it was. Respect, man. Absolute respect.
I worked with the CAS Helos and PJs my last deployment, thems some dedicated motherfuckers. And mentally unstable, in all of the best ways
My father served in the Marine Corps. in engineering, 1984-'88. He always did have a respect for medics
I have a few buddies that were PJs. The training is hell, the deployments are hell, but everyone of them would strap that gear on with pride and mount up to go into the fire and save lives. I myself never had need of their skills, but I do know a couple of guys that survived to fight another day because of them. If I had the ability to go back and do it again, Pararescue is what I would go into.
Pretty good, aside from all the lingo that most civilians won't understand. Best to keep it laymans terms lest you lose the reader in all the jargon. But overall, a very touching story.
8317523
8317954
I'm very humbled to hear that you think that of this story. I just saw the picture whilst looking through some things on dA, and after binge-watching "Inside Combat Rescue" a few days earlier, I felt that this was a story that had to be told. I didn't expect it to blow up like this (featured within the first 24 hours) or to have the impact that it has had on you guys.
8318031
8318387
Those PJ's and CRO's are no joke. One of the highest washout rates of all of AFSOC and SOCOM, trained to the standards of other units as well as comprehensive first aid training comparable to those of advanced life saving (ALS) paramedics in the civilian world, and their general workspace is either in the middle of a firefight or in the back of a Pavehawk or other helicopter.
Major respect to the PJs, and to anyone that dons camouflage and body armour to face death as a job.
8318593
Believe me, I could have made this a lot more technical and confusing. But I also didn't want to dumb it down and undersell just how much work these PJ's have to do on any given mission. I tried to aim for the perfect balance of military jargon and terms and use them in a manner easily understood by civilians like you and me. But I shall take your comment into consideration if/when I write another military-centric story. Appreciate the comment!
8319130
gotcha, just gotta strike that balance. And I'm actually Active Duty Army mate
Responded to myself earlier
War is hell. Even if it's not exactly war but "small" skirmishes.
Yeah, losing someone so young, and so close to getting help... that was quite the blow.
No wonder she looked for a quieter life after that.
Lest we forget... lest we forget..
Very well done, made my Best Story list.
I liked this story! I am a fan of making certain ponies (or humans in this case) veterans. This story caught my eye because while I'm in an air assault battalion, and not a medevac (and also not in the air force) I am first and foremost a blackhawk driver. I'm glad that you did your homework on the terms and TTP, it really shows in your story! I've actually worked with the PJ's and they're good people. As one aviator to another, we pilots would always make fun of each other. We'd laugh at the air force guys for not being able to park their own aircraft (they had to use ground guides to taxi and park their birds) while they'd laugh at use for only having 240H's for our door gunners when they had the 50 cal. All in good fun. But this story was really well thought out and put together. Medics of all kinds do a seriously dirty and sometimes heartbreaking job, and they do deserve recognition. Thanks for writing this! Hopefully more folks read it!
An excellent one-shot - and good backstory.
8319130
Well, I have high respect for the military. So, to read this and remember what my friends told me, it brings a bit of tear to my eye. But, I love how accurate this was.
not the best pony fic but a damn good soldier fic. Thank you.
8319884 I fly on AWACS, we have to use guides, especially in heavies. We aren't allowed to otherwise depending upon location.
8318387 Wash out rate is that of Navy Seals. I know a guy who was an enlisted flyer, cross trained to PJs, was referred to as a beast, but still washed out anyway. Not easy.
8317345 Did he die? I'm in an American E-3 AWACS unit. The groupd down here has a 10% Canadian Defense Forces manning unit here. They are spread out across a few units because of NORAD. Cool People.
8319130 You did a good job. Recommend you keep the lingo simple to understand. Acronyms and phrases are too many and to confusing to understand for a reader. It turns them off and cuts off many people that may otherwise want to read your fic.
8319884
Yeah. Mortar air burst right on his head. At least it was quick
Good story, but there are some typos. Also, for said tags, you have a period after the sentence like so...
It should be a comma like so...
Other than that, great story.
8322678
Not saying it would be. The indoc portion is where most wash out. Get past that, everything else is just paying attention and learning and honing the skills.
8327107 I know. I saw them do crazy shit.
A defibrillator will not restart a stopped heart. This is what ig us used for:
(Heh... chrome now copies formatting, and automatically adds the correct BBC when you paste)
I salute all Veterans and Active Duty on this site and around the world. Take it from a person who has experienced this. It is not easy.