Immortality isn't living forever; It's endless torture, My own sister along with everycreature else has forsaken me to its confines - Abyss inside her prison.
Chrysalis’ mother is just a husk of what she used to be, preserved in a cocoon in her daughter’s secret chambers. Chrysalis is worn and beat from the last battle with Equestria but after reading her mother's journal once again and her poem to her, she gets up to fight once more because Celestia has not won the war yet!
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This… is so sad. They should make a origin story for Chrysalis.
Thank you GamePlayer64; That's what I was thinking, there should be a origin story of Chrysalis, how she hungers for love in the first place, so I thought of Heart, who turns into HeartShatter and gives birth to Chrysalis, she hungers for the love that she was supposed to have.. Or never exist at all since when HeartShatter heart touched the green light in the cave she was pregnant with the magic. That's how the Changelings are created. In my opinion.
Hmm... it's an intriguing idea, really. It seems to me that you have the backstory both of changelings and Heart(Shatter) charted out in your mind to the tiniest details, but didn't really dare to write longer story - which I can fully understand, my first chapter here was barely reaching about thousand words as well. Furthermore, you give Chrysalis more than just the reason of 'needing to feed her brood', but also saving her mother. That's really nice and heartwarming in a way. Also, I really like the poem part
On the other hand, the grammar and spelling of this story isn't one of the best. The mistakes are here, however I reckon it's just lack of experience that can be fixed easily. If you wish, I can send you a PM where I'll 'analyze' a few paragraphs of this story, point out the issues and give you some pointers. Only if you want, of course. I understand some people don't like this sort of feedback
One last bit of advice on how to make your story more appealing to readers;
Your short story description is more or less fine, that means, it can interest a possible reader. However, when they view the story, the first thing they usually read is the long description. If you look at it, your long description now looks similarly to the story and gives off most of it. However, you want the reader to read the story itself, not just its description. That's why the long description should give off just the basic idea, but not the progress nor conclusion of the plot.
That's all I wanted to say. If anything was unclear or you have any additional questions, feel free to ask
Have a nice day and good luck in your writing!
~Ever