A Poem for Chrysalis

by HeartShatter

A Poem to Chrysalis

Author's Note:

Hi Everypony this is my first fanfiction ever please be kind to me. >_<

Long time ago, in the home of a race of beings that everypony feared.. especially the leader, The name of such race was.. The Changlings! Everypony think they are evil beings that force themselves on the ponies of Equestria.. Yes.. They do force themselves onto ponies but only because they feed on love to survive. Because of their terrifying appearances they are shunned, outcaste by every being except their own.

What if somepony told you it wasn't the Changling's fault, that they were born from a broken heart and the magic of The Everfree Forest, told you the story of the Mother of Queen Chrysalis.. Told you that Queen Chrysalis' mother was indeed Heart.. The creator of Hearts of Hoves Day for all of Equestria? You would find them crazy wouldn't you? Of course you would, Yet the only one live now that knew all that happened would be Celestia ruler of Equestria herself, The second.. Sealed in a Chrysalis in deep slumber until her love is refurbished and The last Queen Chrysalis herself whom owns the journal of her mother Heart whom turned into HeartShatter.

Queen reads the poem that is written to her when she was a new born filly, that kept fuelling her passion for revenge, to refurbish her mother back to health, either way she keeps her hive, her changlings and herself fighting Equestria of the most needed love they need to survive, and this is what it wrote.

Hello little one so small.so precious and so dear to me,
given to me by this green light of the forest Everfree.
I’m so sorry we are not what we are meant to be.
You are born from a Shattered Heart,
but don’t worry I have enough love for you to gain a start.

Little one please forgive me.. My cutie mark is not what it used to be.
I cry because I know your life won’t be kind, that you must feed on the love you find.
But most of all one day I will die and leave you behind..

For now you I hold, somepony so more precious than gold.
I name you chrysalis, In hopes one day you’ll be a beautiful butterfly unlike like I..
Always remember you I will always defend until my life is at an end.

I will always love you from your head to your hove.
I give you what’s left of my heart, so we’ll never be truly apart.

Chrysalis; The name I give thee, please forgive me for a long life together can never be.. For now you are in safe haven in this cave of forest Everfree.

The soft yet tragic memory that filled Chrysalis mind, fuelled the fire inside of her, burning the magic through her as she stared up at the ceiling of the secret chamber that she was now in.. Numb from the pain, from the battle they had lost against Equestria, again her mother's slow murder. It did not matter they had a part of the Bug like Pony Queen existence.. Celestia.. must pay. With that fuelled in her mind she got up wobbly on her holey legs, opened her mussel to speak softly.

"They may have won the battle, but they have not won the war. We will get the love we deserve and one day soon mother we will wake you with it.. I promise you this.."

The voice of the long since grown Chrysalis was worn, tired, broken and rasped as if she was having difficulty to breath let alone to speak, but as she continued to give her vow to the mother she hadn't seen awake since she was a young teen. Determination started to fill her body, fill with her eyes with the green flame equal to the colour of the glowing light around the cave. or rather hive hideaway now. Her hatred for Celestia and everyone in Equestria filled her heart, her promised vow to her mother, her Hive and herself filled her purpose of life, her head and caused her to get up on her hooves again, her holey legs shuck but she forced herself to steady them. Even though the agony coursed through her body from the last battle with Celestia.. As she said Equestria might have won the battle but they have not won the war.

They will get the love they deserve to survive one way or another, it was her birth right. That Cadence! even half of her power could have feed them for decades.. but not enough to awake her mother and also that Twilight Sparkle and her other little Harmony friends got in the way!. Chrysalis had her doubts that they will ever find enough love to fully live and restore her mother with, but reading her mother's journal in her darkest hours.. She had always got back on her Hooves even though there would be new holes on her body, in fact the holes made her more determined because she could not give up.. Not until she had restored her mother, give her hive everything they deserve or die trying. The newly determined Chrysalis closed her mothers Journal and placed it on the large rock pedestal she was born on. Then looked above towards the cocoon with the bug Alicorn looking figure with tears threatening to come out of her eyes.

The Cocoon on the cold, cave ceiling didn't move or seemed to have listened or noticed it's surroundings around it let alone heard or seen the long since grown up Chrysalis, but when Chrysalis was about just to leave the room after whipping away the tears from her eyes with a hove, she could have sworn she heard a sob coming from the Cocoon and swore she saw a tear roll down her mother's face. Chrysalis rubbed her eyes with her front hooves and looked again.. nothing.. thinking it was just a trick of the light and her own starving being playing tricks on her mind when nothing else happened. She shook her head and left the room.

As she did..The red greenish bug pony, whom was once had the potential to be an Alicorn of Hearts and Hooves day, born a Earth Pony with a passion of love. Shed more tears of woe for her daughters future, showing the room even if she was in deep sleep she could hear everything.. Silently hoping that one day Somepony.. Anypony would willingly give her daughter and her changlings the love and the friendship they deserve.

The End -

Comments

[GamePlayer64]

This… is so sad. They should make a origin story for Chrysalis.

[HeartShatter]

Thank you GamePlayer64; That's what I was thinking, there should be a origin story of Chrysalis, how she hungers for love in the first place, so I thought of Heart, who turns into HeartShatter and gives birth to Chrysalis, she hungers for the love that she was supposed to have.. Or never exist at all since when HeartShatter heart touched the green light in the cave she was pregnant with the magic. That's how the Changelings are created. In my opinion.

[EverfreePony]

Hmm... it's an intriguing idea, really. It seems to me that you have the backstory both of changelings and Heart(Shatter) charted out in your mind to the tiniest details, but didn't really dare to write longer story - which I can fully understand, my first chapter here was barely reaching about thousand words as well. Furthermore, you give Chrysalis more than just the reason of 'needing to feed her brood', but also saving her mother. That's really nice and heartwarming in a way. Also, I really like the poem part

On the other hand, the grammar and spelling of this story isn't one of the best. The mistakes are here, however I reckon it's just lack of experience that can be fixed easily. If you wish, I can send you a PM where I'll 'analyze' a few paragraphs of this story, point out the issues and give you some pointers. Only if you want, of course. I understand some people don't like this sort of feedback

One last bit of advice on how to make your story more appealing to readers;
Your short story description is more or less fine, that means, it can interest a possible reader. However, when they view the story, the first thing they usually read is the long description. If you look at it, your long description now looks similarly to the story and gives off most of it. However, you want the reader to read the story itself, not just its description. That's why the long description should give off just the basic idea, but not the progress nor conclusion of the plot.

That's all I wanted to say. If anything was unclear or you have any additional questions, feel free to ask
Have a nice day and good luck in your writing!
~Ever