Vinyl is invited to play at a new club in Canterlot, and invited Octavia along. An overwhelming bass, tons of rowdy ponies and the reek of sweat; definitely not the atmosphere Octavia typically found herself in. A few bad decisions later, the musical mare finds herself on the ground, head throbbing, all while Vinyl was looking down at her, apologizing profusely.
Edits by Level Dasher
Prereaders:
JackRipper
Jowijo
and my favorite mare on the moon.
Umm... ow.
Also, Winnisiegh.
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Oh, hey Dashy! How goes it?
Fake and gay.
Thought you needed to hear that.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
18:9_7/27/2017
betraying -- betrayed
only working the equipment, but also providing -- only worked the equipment, but also provided
Fret Note giving a wave -- Fret Note gave a wave
Review posted: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212612/hidden-gems/thread/327573/the-music-that-binds-us
8327965
Hm.
I actually haven't gone through this first chapter yet (I looked at the later ones after finding this, so I'll come back), butwith the way Dreams has this narrated, I disagree with your notes. There are other ways the lines could have been worded that would have made them correct(and I will probably suggest them), but as the notes stand, they're only partially right.I'll go over them in my run-through.Edit: Sorry, but I still disagree with your first two notes. It may be stylistic preference, but those two were written just fine. I agree with your third note, though, and that was altered.
This is going to be interesting
MORE NOW!!!!! Aslo *Boop*
MORE!!!! NOW!!!
Style is important...I guess...but, HISTORICAL ACCURACY, RARITY!
You need to write longer chapters.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
23:28_7/29/2017
8333022
These are probably the shortest I've written for a story. Unfortunately, it's because the story itself isn't going too last much longer
But I'd like to think it's the most well written story I've put out so far. So here's hoping that feeling continues as I go on.
Who's that?
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A good friend of mine.
8334931
I've been wondering that myself. Question answered.
Wow, you really like being a cheeseball don't you moonass?
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
21:35_7/31/2017
Don't worry, it's all gouda!
For that
Though it's amazing!!! Great story...wish it was longer....also Spike sucks...there's no way around it...
8337515
Dammit, how did I miss that? (badum tss)
Thanks for the catch!
Impressive nod at "Univerity Days" I like it ;)
You got the location wrong though if you were nodding towards the other story, that diner is set in Manehattan
...
What the hell. Holy fuck. Are they? The fuck.
Here's your blunt review.
D'awww
Cute, cheesy, with the perfect amount of sexual mischief
Great story.
Very nice story, good work.