Everypony is invited to the celestial sisters' grand Christmas Eve party, where Luna's encounter with a mistletoe and a sudden lavender mare causes quite a few risen eyebrows.
Chapters (3)
Archvile
Joined 21st Nov, 2011 ·
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You have been abstained from my wrath mortal...
TwiLuna gets auto 5 star
im jealous I want luna
Christmas gift appreciated.
You should write a new years sequel and merry Christmas to you to
For someone who's dyslexic first language isn't English you have written a nice little story. There are plenty of mistakes but they didn't murder the flow of the story that much so they can probably be forgiven
72772 Eyup!
72789Hold up I've just spoted the incomplete tag
there will be more 
yay
Heh, I'm betting that Luna got her wish just as much as Twilight did.
if you ever do a second chapter to this fic I'd love to see it. Not just for the Twilight Luna ship but also to see the fallout of the two of them becoming a couple. I don't know who'll have more of a feild day with it Twilight's friends or the Press.
That was pretty nice
It's a quaint little story to get into the spirit in the holidays. Little grammatical errors aside, the story was pretty good
A second chapter would be interesting, especially to see her friends reactions to that little 'incident'.
files.sharenator.com/oh_you_RE_Masturbational_Motivationals_RE_Dear_Blank_Be_Creative-s447x335-180525-535.jpg
Teeh Hee.
This is cute
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
I read this and then I was like da fuck>? and then i was like YES HOH MY GOD!
Well, as long as the meaning is clear, I don't give a *£2% about spelling errors, punctuation or other such things.
I rate based on how good I think the actual storry is (mostly objective), and fave depending on my personal opinion of the storry (like a lot/like a little).
Good story, by the way. 4 + fave (now that I AM commenting, I might as welladd this)
(note to self; stop thinking this much when writing comments - the 2'nd time a 10 minute track ends, just round up and press "add comment" - Don't continue thinking till it ends for a 3'rd time)
72972 and then you fainted, so I yelled, "CALL 911!"
Also, 'twas a very good short-story! I loved the fact that English is your second language AND your dislexic, but still wrote a good ship-fic!
This was indeed a very nic 'fic. I could see some errors where it's clear that Enlgish is your second language, but a single re-read fixes it nicely.
Like how you meantion 'seasoning cloth', but you really mean 'seasonal cothing'.
Also there was mention the 'costume to kiss' when you meant 'custom to kiss'.
Still, very nice and it flows well. Kudos to you!
Technically, this should be "Hearth's Warming Eve"...but, all the same, very cute! Despite all the errors, it was a nice little story to get in the spirit of the holidays. Nice job.
Twiluna is best ship. Seriously, a nice story you got here. Waiting impatiently for the next chapter.
For a non-native English speaker with dyslexia, you've written something that's quite good. A few errors, but it's easy to tell what you meant by context. Characterisation feels pretty spot on for the most part.
Maybe use the indent thing, though? Guess that's jst a personal qualm.
It was definitely a solid concept, and a pretty good execution. Personally, I'd suggest for the future that you either find a co-writer, or an editor. That way, you can bring the idea more fully into being, rather than leaving it as-is. You did a fantastic effort, considering the odds you were working against.
I loved it. glad I read.
If this is a finished story, consider changing the tag from 'Incomplete' to 'Complete'.
This was a great little story and I was drawn in for the duration, it felt a little fast though but that's a minor complaint and not something to be overly worried about.
There were a few little mistakes I noticed, but few indeed compared to some actual English writers who don't have any learning impediments like Dyslexia. So be happy/proud about that.
4 stars from me. Nice concept, done in a nice way, but could be better as most stories tend to.
Have a good Christmas!
[img]28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvensy6PgB1qczvpto1_500.png[/img]
Hopefully the picture appears this time around. 28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvensy6PgB1qczvpto1_500.png
If there is no image, disregard this comment :P
I liked it. It was romantic and humorous. Your self critique is pretty good, so you know what to work on. On the other hoof you deserve credit for comming up with a new and somewhat creative royal party. Jeg er desuden også glad for at måde andere danske bronyer, vi er alt for få.
me want more sexyness
I have to say, I'm impressed. The mechanical and/or spelling errors, while fairly common, don't detract from the story. The plot was amusing and intriguing, if a little too fast and somewhat vague and/or forced in parts (especially at the end when you tell the reader why Luna kissed Twi).
Overall, it was an enjoyable and worthwhile read, easily a 4.5 star story. Good job!
72772 Can never be enough of that.
[img]s434.photobucket.com/albums/qq69/cholockk/?action=view¤t=finejeez.jpg&newest=1[/img]
Posting images is hard.
[img]images.google.com/imgres?q=fine+jeez+metal+gear+awesome&hl=en&biw=320&bih=428&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=5v62JRgo9BO94M:&imgrefurl=http://psyguy.newgrounds.com/news/post/547491&docid=y3xf0etTm_jlBM&imgurl=http://newsimg.ngfiles.com/224000/224247_metal_gear_awesome.jpeg&w=464&h=339&ei=ZK3uTsr6Jork0QHOvMDzBw&zoom=1[/img]
I liked the reference to this CLEARLY VISIBLE PICTURE SHOWN ABOVE.
So much fun! Gotta say this is an amazing TwiLuna ship! I'd sail on this boat any day.
Hello everyone,
First off I would like to ‘announce’ that I’m working on a second chapter of this story (which will cover New Year’s Eve), but I’ll take me some time finish as I have a report to finish by Tuesday for my exam, so I won’t be able to focus much on this story before I’m done with that (but I have already taken down notes and some dialog).
I must say that I’m really surprised that this has gotten so much… ehm… hype? I was like: “What the deuce?!” I had nothing planned for this, I was just sitting around one evening and I thought to myself it could be a cute little story to write that Luna somehow pull a little innocent prank on Twilight by kissing her under a mistletoe and it was pretty much a giveaway that they were suppose to take it a little further than just a little tradition Xmas kiss. So I wrote the kissing scene first (or at least most of it) and then I was like: “OMG! Who the hell wants to read this shit without at least some sort of story leading up to it?!” And that was when an evening project turned into a 5 day project… my brain was completely blank from any sort of ideas >_<
Normally when I write a story I have had several ideas and written some footnotes for the overall progress of the story, but I had nothing of the sort on this particular story, which is why (like some said) it felt rushed, because in all truth it was. The story was never suppose to be very deep nor very interesting, it was just suppose to be one of this “Aw, that’s cute <3” stories and nothing more. And now that I look over my notes for chapter two I can see its going to take a little more serious tune/tone. As much as I love to write stories about ponies/people being prejudiced this was just never the intent with this story as I wanted to make it all joy joy like, all fun and no pain. So yeah, my upcoming chapter probably won’t feel like it is a part of this story because it’ll be so much different. But I’ll try my best to keep the feeling (but I’ll probably fail horribly!). I also noticed someone suggesting making a new year sequel of this, but I always found it annoying when people write sequels, I’m not sure why really, I don’t mind when movies and books gets a sequel (or a prequel for that matter, as long as it doesn’t suck as bad as the prequel for ‘The Thing’ which was one of the greatest movies ever made!) but I’ve never seemed to like the idea of sequels for fanfictions… can’t say why really… anyway moving on before I start to confuse myself :D
But wow, I had no idea this story would get so many comments, I had expected like 200 people to read it and then get like 4-6 comments, so I’m sorry that I haven’t gotten around to reply everyone as much as I would love to do so, your comments are always appreciated! <3 And now that so many have read it and commented on it I feel embarrassed about how poorly the story really is :( I could have made it a lot better if I had spent the time on it instead of just wanting to finish it… oh well, I’ll go finish chapter two and hopefully everyone will be happy with that and then I can go back to my other stories and hopefully have learned something from this one.
I was happy that I had finally finished this and thought to myself: “Never again will I write a story with no pre-planned plot!” And then you people demand a second chapter?! *sigh* You guys made me feel like I should rewrite all of chapter one and improve it, both so it does chapter two more justice and so it won’t feel as rushed now that I’ll put time into a second chapter (just for you guys!).
I also noticed someone told me that I a little to forcefully explain what was going on at the end, I too thought this when I wrote the story, perhaps I should change that… I dunno… to be honest I really didn’t want to do anything special with this story, I just wanted to make a little cute one-shot with not too much thought to it ;_; curse you people!
But nonetheless, thanks everyone for reading and for all those wonderful comments! <3 I hope that I’ll be able to do If someone ever said that the masses cannot move the heart of one man: Then they were lying! Filthy liars! For I have been moved! xD
PS. I want an honest answer to something that I need you guys to help me with:
In the first chapter I sort of hinted at a relationship between Luna’s guards. Would you rather have that I should delete that from chapter one and then not having any of it in chapter two? If no one replies I’ll delete it from chapter one as it will make it easier for me to write chapter two (beside it is a Luna slash Twilight fic after all). But like said I’ll have to write a report in next 2 days (from when posting this), so you can give it some thought before I change anything :)
Oh, I totally forgot to mention something!
My intent with telling everyone that I’m dyslexic and English is my second language, was never my intent to gain peoples pity, I merely wanted to inform everyone of this so those people that can’t live with poor spelling and bad grammas to simply spare them a heart attack :D
But still, thanks for your kind words! It is a bother to have a limited knowledge of the English language and it does suck to be dyslexic it does make things harder but not impossible! And I also want to prove that you can still become a writer even if you stand against such odds! But like someone said I’ll probably need an editor of some sort xD Any volunteers? :3
Fasaloft that picture is on the book flutterheart and flutterheart diaries
The report is done and has been turned in! So now I'm off to enjoy the holidays and write some juicy stuff xD
So, they have JESUS Christ in equestria. are they praying for his forgivence! LOLOLOLOLOO is celestia worshippin GOD OLOLOLOLO! get it? shippinn! ooh hohohhooo
ಠ_ಠ
Gonna upload the last chapter sometime today :3
awesome.
you have appeased the readers
92990
It was hard work when your heart really wasn't into it : /
So this will most likely be the last request thing I ever do, I much rather write some of the stuff that I find interesting than what others may find interesting :D but nonetheless I hope you and the others will enjoy it ^__^
93000
That's how my "all's fair in love and star dust" fic turned out to be. I had a plan to stop it, but the people wanted it to be continued and it turned out pretty terrible xD So I know where you're coming from on that.
93000
Not that this was terrible! That's just how mine ended up because of it.
Great story overall.
Nice work on this. I want to say thanks for adding a second chapter to this even though you weren't too fond of it. Hopefully the masses are pleased and you can get back to working more on stories you feel more enthusastic about writing.
93002
Well, I can relate with why people want a story they read being finished, I'm the same, it sucks so bad when you read something that you like and then the writer is like... "OMFG I can't write this shit no more!" Which is why I probably prefer the finished stories, beside the fact that I'm terrible impatience :3
93024
Yeah... like I told someone else; my heart really wasn't into this story and I pretty much only wrote the second chapter because so many wanted me too... and I have to be honest I've only watched around 12 episodes or so of the show itself so when it comes to the characters I'm pretty much at bare bottom... I've seemed to figure out Twilight somewhat, probably because I myself are socially awkward and because I'm also quite the nerd and well Luna she had like... 1 episode (beside the Nightmare Moon two-parter)? And even for her I just made up my own personality, so yeah... could have been a lot better than what it was, no doubt that but I would have to watch a lot of episodes to get their personalties right. And Pinkie being angry? Can I excuse myself by saying she is very random? :P
93000
i have to say i like this second part more than the first
and to think that you didn't realy wanted to write it
93035
Thank you kindly <3 but i have learned my lesson with this one, don't write of the sake of others, it just won't become as good as the things that you feel and care for :) well... not that the things that you feel and care for will become instantly 'good' but at least you'll feel good about it and then when you a good comment it only makes it all the better :3
But nonetheless thank you for reading and thank you for your comment, can you have a nice New Year's Eve with your friends and family.
93048
Well... I guess I can explain that really... when I wrote the first chapter I just wrote the kissing scene and nothing else, but then I looked at it and was like "Hm... no one is going to read 300 words about kissing under a mistletoe..." and then I had to add a story which I had no notes for or any ideas of what to do with. The second chapter on the other hand I had a background story (chapter one) and I had taken some notes from both the comments and what I had of ideas for the story.
So all in all, chapter two was more thought-out than anything in chapter one as :|
93000>>93054
Yes, well... I could tell that you weren't really into this chapter from the writing, and I'll be honest, I had to stop halfway through. Sorry.
93104
Its okay mate ^__^ at least this is behind me now and I can move forward with my more beloved stories <3
DwEw and PvsP daddy is comming back! :3
final chapter (of this god awful story), enjoy! <3 <---- this is the only words in the whole fic i didn't like
And now that it is completed i can finally fav it.
not to be rude, but there were MANY mistakes - they sent shivers down my spine, tbh...