• Member Since 17th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 20th, 2020

Navanastra


I am the most adorable dragon slayer in existance.

Comments ( 432 )

this is off to a good start.

racist unicorns are best unicorns (subjectively speaking)

So far it look promising, I wonder what the HiE story is going to be about other then starting over in life and having Octavia as his sister. Looking forward to see how it will unfold.

just the mental image if a itty bitty octavia is just to much :rainbowkiss:

When I saw the cover in the feature box I immediately thought I know this artwork style. And I was right!
Another story by Narva!

The description of this reads like a story from 2014 or earlier.

8308464
That is part of the charm. A blast from the past.

Is it necessary to read the original in order to understand this story or does it stand out on its own?

8308490
It stands on its own. In fact knowing the other story might spoil on who the character is and what to expect of him.

What on earth is in that rat poison? One spoonful is roughly 15 grams on average, and a coffee cup has a volume of 350ml on average. So lets assume at the time he took a sip he had 250ml of coffee which contained 15 grams of rat poison. Assuming perfectly even distribution after stirring that means there is roughly 0.06 grams of rat poison per ml. or in other terms 60 milligrams of rat poison per millilitre. If it wasn't stirred that would mean most of it would sink to the bottom quite rapidly leading to less rat poison ingested

Now lets say a sip of coffee consists of 10-20 millilitres. That would mean he ingested 600-1200 milligrams (0.6-1.2 g) of rat poison. two of the most common forms of rat poison are warfarin and bromadiolone and for Warfarin, the lethal dose (LD50) is 60 mg / kg of body weight, and for Bromadiolone - 300 mg / kg. Now lets say the protagonist wieghs 60 kg, that means he would have to ingest either 3600 mg/3.6 g of warfarin to have a fifty percent chance of death or 18 g of Bromadiolone for the same effect. Considering the circumstances neither of these could have killed him and since they take several hours to kill rats it would be impossible for the rat poison to be Warfarin or Bromadiolone. Other stronger chemicals cannot be bought by untrained professionals or are outright illegal e.g cyanide, strychine.

So was he using cyanide or something? or was a cousin/friend a trained professional a rat-catcher/verminator? Or did he just have a lot of sugar in his coffee?

All this maths is probably horribly incorrect, and if so please tell me where and how I screwed up. Also don't let this comment make it seem like I really dislike this story or anything, I really like it so far, but that's just a little thing I noticed that is all.

8308705
2 things...

First, holy chemistry Batman.

Second, he could've made his own murder powder by mixing copious amounts of all those fancy words you said, then put it in a fancy looking jar on the counter next to the sugar. Personally, I keep my rat poison up in the cupboard between the paprika and cilantro, but to each his own I guess.

Third, I too like a little coffee with my sugar in the mornings, so it's quite possible he just used a metric fuck-ton of it.

Fun question, why am I thinking all of this rather than openly speaking them out? Well that’s simple…I have no bloody idea.

:facehoof: Seems legit to me... :trollestia:

8308876
why thank you good sir i was wondering where my sqee's went

8308767
Yeah I'm going with mixture of both explanations. He and his mate got every dangerous poison/chemical they could find, dumped it into the nearest container they could find before liberally applying it everywhere they could find before celebrating. Being tired and distracted they forgot to put it away, and then tomorrow morning you have an extremely tired man acting entirely on instinct in the vicinity of dangerous chemicals. That was never going to end well.

Also just to note I did mention those possibilities at the bottom of the comment, asking if he had a huge amount of sugar/access to extremely lethal poisons. Although I think the chapter specifically stated "a spoon full" but then again it never mentioned what form of spoon. For all we know he cold have used a ladle or serving spoon. You made some fair points though.

Hmmm... Well, I didn't like Nava's adventures, but your long description is unique enough to grab my attention.

Chapters one and two are decent enough, even with the MC talking directly to the audience throughout both, although I would suggest cutting back on the blatant fourth wall breaking in future chapters...

Or just ignore me voicing a very strong dislike for characters who constantly break the fourth wall, either way you have my attention for at least one more chapter.

A bit of typos there in the description/

Yes of course I am old enough to have coffee, don't listen to what you parents are telling you...and no you can not barrow my tablet to listen to some of my Retro stuff either.

Its 'your' and 'borrow'

Otherwise, great start, didn't expect that you'll make a spin-off there)

8309042
I enjoyed it personally. It's the style of the writer to monologue his character's thoughts so expect much ignoring of your suggestions of removing fourth wall breaks and getting lost in thought as it is how all his stories are written...

when i read

Wait…these are not the Shimmering Isles

i thought of this

Una

I'm going to be honest here, I've never related more to a OC than your main character. Its very realistic and I could seem myself making that mistake of mistaking rat poison for a can of sugar. lol) I cant tell you how many times I've seen people put things in the wrong container because of a mix-up or the old container went bad.

8309149
I can't tell if I'm focusing on the entirely wrong part of your comment or not, but I feel compelled to reply.

I would have absolutely no problem with the author explaining his character's thought process, that's something almost every multichapter story eventually does, usually when a noodle incident comes into play. MY problem is that the omnipotent author isn't the one who explains the character's thought process. Instead, the main character is talking directly to the audience, breaking the fourth wall and showing us that he knows he is in a story. This could easily be an amazing story, but breaking the fourth wall in such a blatant and frequent way destroys any immersion as it shoves, "Hey reader! Do you remember that this is a story?" In your face constantly.

A good story tells a tale, an amazing story allows the audience to experience a journey.

8308705
...and that is why no body uses science in works of fantasy and fiction. Because its both a mouthful and fun breaking.

SRY

8308705
I love comments like this.

Anything on the LD50 range of 50-100mg/kg would be lethal based on your calculations...but we don't know if he died, just passed out. So yeah, bit unrealistic, maybe artistic license and all or just blame the in canon deus ex machina and it was Discord's fault.

Someone is obsessed with Sheogorath too, I dunne feel so alone now.

8309533
You remember that Alex is crazy to begin with in this right? As for Nava, take a very good look at that Alex unicorn in the storie's main pic...

Fumbling through the cupboard above and finding my own personal mug from my cousin’s I found and poured all the ingredients into it before grabbing the thermos and pouring the hot water in it.

Comment posted by txgood2 deleted Jul 20th, 2017

8308705
I'm just going to assume he took the accident as his cue to catch up on some sleep.

8309806
So they have the same glasses? This story isn't 5k words in and Alex is already 10x more interesting than Nava ever was, as for crazy? Alex seems like the average 18 year old gamer with insomnia, where in the world did you get crazy?

8308979

I love everything about this comment chain, and I haven't even read the story yet. Considering the rat poison is the plot gimmick to jumpstart the protagonist's adventures in the multi-verse, I'm gonna say that his whole house got hit with some 8th-dimensional, octarine radiation which caused him to die. The rat poison is a red herring, obviously.

8309895
I did, I do all of my own art and story covers...expect for "The Imperial ace" which I just yanked from the internet and duck tape it on there.

That's an interesting start, and quite amusing as well!

However (unless something changed since I read it yesterday evening), this definitely needs at least one more editing run, as I've found quite a few mistakes. Doesn't take away anything from the story itself, but it can break the immersion a bit, especially with how often I found something.

Can't do it right now due to work reasons, but I can give it a read once more and point out what I've found later if you wish :twilightsmile:

8309888
We are ALL crazy, in our own ways. Some more then others. Some tame, some not.

A better question would be: Who isn't crazy?

8309888
Alex in both stories has stated he enoys chaos and I've got a firm grasp that he's crazy and wants everyone to know this for two reasons.
One: It keeps everyone off balance and gives him the edge to outsmart them.
Two: It amuses him.

Nava is actually Just the Oc's name and he never really stated that his real name could indeed be Alex.

8310234
Great detective work. You should get a cookie, or me drawing your OC and suggestive position.

8310328

If you wanna draw a certain goth Pegasus in comprising positions, feel free to do so. I wouldn't complain in the least. :rainbowlaugh:

8310234
So Alex has appeared in the story, "Zebrica for a Human?" No wonder we have different opinions as this has been the only story by the author since Nava's misadventures that I've been interested enough in to actually read. Right now Alex hasn't done anything suggesting he is mad/crazy, at most he seems slightly random.

I'll still stick around for one more chapter at least, but knowing that Alex is probably going to become a gag character lessens my interest quite a bit.

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