What on earth is in that rat poison? One spoonful is roughly 15 grams on average, and a coffee cup has a volume of 350ml on average. So lets assume at the time he took a sip he had 250ml of coffee which contained 15 grams of rat poison. Assuming perfectly even distribution after stirring that means there is roughly 0.06 grams of rat poison per ml. or in other terms 60 milligrams of rat poison per millilitre. If it wasn't stirred that would mean most of it would sink to the bottom quite rapidly leading to less rat poison ingested

Now lets say a sip of coffee consists of 10-20 millilitres. That would mean he ingested 600-1200 milligrams (0.6-1.2 g) of rat poison. two of the most common forms of rat poison are warfarin and bromadiolone and for Warfarin, the lethal dose (LD50) is 60 mg / kg of body weight, and for Bromadiolone - 300 mg / kg. Now lets say the protagonist wieghs 60 kg, that means he would have to ingest either 3600 mg/3.6 g of warfarin to have a fifty percent chance of death or 18 g of Bromadiolone for the same effect. Considering the circumstances neither of these could have killed him and since they take several hours to kill rats it would be impossible for the rat poison to be Warfarin or Bromadiolone. Other stronger chemicals cannot be bought by untrained professionals or are outright illegal e.g cyanide, strychine.

So was he using cyanide or something? or was a cousin/friend a trained professional a rat-catcher/verminator? Or did he just have a lot of sugar in his coffee?

All this maths is probably horribly incorrect, and if so please tell me where and how I screwed up. Also don't let this comment make it seem like I really dislike this story or anything, I really like it so far, but that's just a little thing I noticed that is all.

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science

8308705 NEEEEEEERRRRRDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

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Sciance and the RNG gods rolled him a natural 1

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I love comments like this.

Anything on the LD50 range of 50-100mg/kg would be lethal based on your calculations...but we don't know if he died, just passed out. So yeah, bit unrealistic, maybe artistic license and all or just blame the in canon deus ex machina and it was Discord's fault.

Fumbling through the cupboard above and finding my own personal mug from my cousin’s I found and poured all the ingredients into it before grabbing the thermos and pouring the hot water in it.

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I'm just going to assume he took the accident as his cue to catch up on some sleep.

Starts off interesting, but a little tell-y.
Also the sudden tense shift in the end is jarring. Stick to either Third Person, or First Person, otherwise it just gets confusing.

these blasted vermin who have been always making a ruckus

always been.

so always listen to your parents when there say. “Get your fucking annoying asses to bed.”

when they say :

Side note the point when they talk about octavia could be pointed out better first time i read it spent five minutes trying to figure out why in the art and title the main was a unicorn but here its sounded like they were a earth pony

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Extra strength rat poison, proven to sometimes give New York rats indigestion.

Simply due to how rat poison works, it'd take longer to have an effect than a few seconds

Rat poison, eh? That is pure karma right there.
Dude just fell into his own trap, teeheehee...

“Shiiiiit….I left…the faucet on…in the bathroom.” 

This was the best part.

Unrealistic poison and cliché concept aside, the prologue is okay.

I like this but I don't want to click like until it goes to 421...
*COUGHCOUGHweedjokesCOUGHCOUGH*

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So what do you want? More or less?

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direct poisons aren't effective against rats as a group ( they are bait-shy, a survival instinct), and some of them arent toxic for humans but provide health problems ( vitamin D, calcepherol) so it is even less realistic. But pwhole story was meant to be started in surrealistic way, I guess. Or it wasn't rat poison.