Welcome to Pony Vale

by SuperCyclone

7 - “Yellow Star”

"What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening? I don’t know, but I trapped it in my bedroom. Send help."
-Scootaloo

---

The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. It is only the truth-seeker who wonders, 'Why is the glass there? Why is there water all over the floor? Why is it covering every other surface of the house? Who -- or what -- is doing this to us?'

Welcome to Pony Vale

Why hello listeners. I’d like to begin today’s broadcast with a little update on our floating cat, Koshekh. Many of you have been asking about the station’s cat that has been floating in the restroom. Well, he’s doing alright. We’ve been feeding him, and he’s been such a good cat. Now I’m not much of a fan of cats, on the account of being a dog myself, but I’ve really grown to Koshekh. He’s really brought up our spirits here at the radio station. Oh! That reminds me! Koshekh recently gave birth to a litter of kittens. They are so adorable! Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘how can a male cat give birth?’ Well, how does a sentient talking dog own a pet cat? Some questions in life shouldn’t be answered all the time you know, that’s what makes it so exhilarating to be alive.

Now the big news for tonight. Today a book appeared in the middle of our lovely town. Princess Celestia’s Secret Royal Guard have been investigating it since this morning. The book seems to hover five feet from the ground and has a distinct yellow star on its cover. The Princess’ Secret Royal Guard have determined it’s origins to be a practical joke from the draconequus of chaos, Discord. However, when confronted, he claimed to have had nothing to do with it.

“I’m being honest,” the draconequus pleaded. “I don’t know why there’s a floating book in the middle of Pony Vale. It’s weird.”

He then stared at it for a couple of seconds before screaming and disappearing into his dimension of chaos.

On other news, the book seems to be sending weird signals towards our direction. Radio signals. It is unclear how or why the book is sending strange wave frequencies to our station, but we have been able to decode a message from the mysterious signals. Here is the following message:

”There are millions of ponies on this planet who I have never met, but I know who they are.There are thousands of towns that await to be visited. Yet here I am, stuck in this specific town where many ponies are being pressured into making rash decisions that will affect their future. Yet, they haven’t even discovered who they are. But I know who you are, but I also will not tell you. Your future must and only can be decided by you. Decide your future.”

Now I’m not an expert when it comes to practical jokes, but Discord has really proven that he is a master at it. I applaud his ingenuity. Princess Celestia’s Secret Royal Guard have responded by poking the book with their spears which, they say will “keep the tall faceless pony from eating the world.” So far they have not even damaged the book.

The Pony Vale Medical Center would like to give a public service announcement on how important it is to wash your hooves.

Being in a large community, we tend to greet each other a lot. And when we do we shake our hooves, paws, claws, or spineless tendrils to say hello. But we must be careful not to infect the ponies around us. For all we know somepony could be carrying a little virus, the flu, or even a deadly disease that can turn you into a tree. So check to see if your hooves are dirty or covered with flesh eating viruses. Doctors recommend you do three simple things to make sure you’re hooves are clean.

1. Look at your hooves and see if you do have a deadly virus with you.

2. If you do see any, mark them with a chalk pentagon.

3. Gently clean the virus with a sterilized razor blade and remove any affected skin.

If you are not one of the few ponies who don’t do these check ups yearly, than be sure to make a bloodstone sacrifice to any deity you wish. As long as it’s Princess Celestia or Luna.

And now a word from our sponsor.

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Fire is an energy source that we all use, but we also misuse.

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Carousel Boutique. Dress safely.*

*Carousel Boutique does not claim that you are safe, only that the illusion of protection can be achieved. But you are not safe, you have never been safe. Also, bug bears were never supposed to have happened – never, not ever, this world should not be as it is now.

Back to our earlier report on the floating book. It has sent another message and is still floating. We were able to decipher the wave frequencies again to show you the following message:

”You were told as a child to never judge a book by its cover, and some of you listened. You took that book and started reading it. But you look at a pony, and judge them by their looks and actions. Yet you don’t realize that your judgment is inadequate, you are but a small being. You will live life with that small judgment that you have for that pony who knows nothing about you. Then, you will die.”

Now I’m not too familiar with this kind of practical joke, but it sure is impressive. I once again applaud the Spirirt of Chaos. Good job!

The Princess’s Secret Royal Guard are trying to figure out a way to arrest the sentient book. They’ve tried chains, stones, dark magic, and even singing Songbird Serenade’s song Rainbow from her new album: ‘Why Is There Mud Everywhere? What Is This? Who Am I. And Why Do I See Worms In My Eyes?!’

While this story unfolds, let’s head now to the weather.

Welcome back listeners. It seems that the book has disappeared. It suddenly vanished during the weather report and nopony knowns why, not even the Princess’s Secret Royal Guard. We have gotten word though that it has left a trail of drawings that depict a tall faceless pony with long black tendrils behind it. I’ve just been handed one of the papers that depict this weird creature. It has what appears to be eyes in the background with them being crossed out by an X. It also says, in crooked writing, “DON’T LOOK OR IT TAKES YOU!”

What an impressive prank by Discord, he sure knows how to have fun!

However, the book has left one final message for all of us to hear. Let us close our show with its words.

”Somewhere, there is a little filly who is thinking whether or not the void that is above all of you can be reached. The filly wonders this for hours, days, weeks, months, years, until she sees it. A tree of awesome size, lit by darkness. Gray gusts of wind and books reveal themselves to her. One day you will see this too, and you will understand what it means to really be ALIVE”

Goodnight, Pony Vale. Goodnight.

Comments

[Mr cold ghost]

Another update! Thank you!