This is my first try at a My Little Pony fanfiction. There contains ABDL content and light sexual content. The story is of Rainbow Dash becoming comfortable with being an ABDL around her friends. This also contains Fluttershy x Rainbow Dash, and a few other shipping's that will be revealed later. If you enjoyed it, please comment to let me know that way I can continue writing it. If you don't want to do that annoying bit of work, a like is also very helpful. Either way, hope you all enjoy it!
-Your's truly,
The New guy: Ironskeleton444
Chapters (1)
nice like:dislike ratio
better go contribute to it
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/129/577/How+About+No.jpg
Better luck next time.
Check those dislike digits, yo
"coming out about my fetish" stories don't suddenly not suck when you add ponies to the equation, and that's literally all this is, framed by an obnoxious "I don't know how to indicate flashbacks smoothly" intro.
I see lots of hate here but we all need to remember that the author clearly stated it was his first story so if your gonna hate then at least give some constructive criticism for future reference.
Personally I don't think this was a horrible first chapter and it could definitely evolve into an even better story with time. I'm not sure if you had stated if his was anthro or human but you should mention that in the disclaimer before anyone reads the story.
Don't let people's hate bring you down, as I said it wasn't too bad, I have seen waaay worse for first timers and even long time writers. If you want better results in the future then find some voluntary proofreaders/editors to have a better chance of making the story look more professional and read comments similar to mine to help you out.
8309906
Thank you for telling me. I will definitely have a few of my friends proofread it.
8309906
what hate? I haven't seen any hate, just dislikes.
Very cute. Diapers and shipping can certainly be difficult topics to work together. However I feel you did fairly well with this. Especially for your first try at it. :)
Dislikes are very much expected when doing such work. So don't feel disheartened if you get more of them than likes. Know that each like and positive comment is reason enough to continue doing the story. Some people appreciating it are better than none.
My best to you as you continue to write this and other stories. I hope that you are able to make friends here while building upon your talents as a writer.
Start with a description of the scene. Where are they and what is Fluttershy feeling? You can start this quickly if you want to but you need to describe the scene's accurately.
That was a sudden change in perspective. In that final sentence you should have said "Rainbow Dash didn't get to finish her sentence as she was suddenly hugged by Fluttershy". It's from Rainbow's perspective and so she would notice her sentence being cut off first.
This seems largely like a draft without refinement. Try to identify what character you're following and make sure the describe the scenario. Especially in stories like this you need to be very accurate with your surroundings.
8310398
Thank you. =)
cute first chapter