Tales of Paradise

by unknown Graces

chapter prolog: rain

Rain- a force that can wash away everything. Pain, memories, regrets, under the rain all of them are nothing but dirt to be cleansed. A flood that takes those things with them, but in the end, I still remember. A bright gray Pegasus is lying there in the dirt, she smiled at me while holding her stomach.

" Lance, you need to be brave now, okay?"

I shake my head, I had no intention of leaving her here. I can hear hoof steps in the distance. "Don't argue with me now go!" She pushed me as I tumble down the hill, crystal becomes nothing but a faded shadow through the dense rain. Then I see it, another shadow, with a sword floating in mid-air before the blade comes down on her running it through crystal’s body.

"Crystal!”

I cry, but the words get caught in my throat and I'm left in silence. The other pony seems to have left, I'm too scared to go see, so I sit there hearing more hoof steps. In front of me stood a large white unicorn stallion who had a full beard around his muzzle and an eye patch on his left eye.

"Hello? I didn't think anybody survived the attack earlier."

He extended his hoof out to me and I climb up to it." a pup, The things you've must have seen."

The stallion said, picking me up from the wet ground with his magic. It felt warm like I was wrapped in a huge warm blanket as he settled me on his back. He then made a shield to keep out the rain as he walked

"So then my little friend do you have a name?"

"Lance."

I answer with a whisper, though I can hear him laugh under the heavy patter of rain, Eventually, breathing a sigh, but I wasn't sure what he was laughing at, giving him a confused look.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing, anyway lance you can call me fury. Now that's out of the way, how about we find some place to camp for the night and maybe dry you off, yeah?"

Fury returned his attention to walking as I look back, barely being able to see my sister's shadow. I don't say anything, silently saying goodbye to her before falling asleep to the swaying motion of fury's walking.
***3 years later

"That dream, wait, what time is it?"

I get out of bed and look out the open window to see soldier march and fury barking orders. "Must be noon, meaning I should probably go do my rounds.”

I pass by a mirror on the way out getting a good look at myself, I have grayish blue fur and jade green eyes, and a collar strung around my neck. I pull away from the mirror and head outside, ready for “Work”. I start walking into the training yard. Moving to the large white unicorn I lived fondly with for the last three years.

" Morning, Fury." I say as he begins to yell at the trainees, blowing his whistle after every order.

"Morning pup, saw you toss and turning earlier thought I'd have to wake you up.”

Fury, says in between whistle blows and giving orders "Anyways, the practical test is today." I nod to his question though I loathe having to do it.

"Hey, don't give me that, just remember to grade him as fairly, understand?"

"Yeah, I got it, so if you don't mind, I'm off."

“Still don’t get why you hate him so much.”
I bow out, leaving fury to his duties, and head toward the castle. When I enter the castle I pass by the servants and guards all rushing through their daily routines. I trudge along, making sure not to get in their way too much.

My job, if you could call it that, is filling in the holes the castle staff have when they get sick or have off time, if not that it's working as a guard dog for the “princess of love”. It's a nice gig, free food, walks, getting pets from ponies passing by, and the most important thing, having cadence all to myself. Well, mostly after all her boyfriend still an issue.

Anyway, When I get to Cadence's bedroom door, I'm interrupted by a butler dressed earth pony I bump into.

"Master Lance."

"Morning, prose"

He was a tan pony with a ponytail grey mane that circled around to form a clean beard around his muzzle. He bowed to my greeting, standing back up, adjusting his glasses before returning his attention to his watch.

"Ahem, was hoping that you would be so inclined to help with the guarding the front gate tonight. After all, dawn's team is coming back for the graduation ceremony for the academy."

With that said dawn is always out on assignments, usually gone for months at a time. He really only comes back for serious stuff.

"Yeah, sure, though, you may see me sleeping on the job, Plus need a few days off after this k?"

Prose sighs accepting my terms, bowing and returning to work as I did the same.

Entering cadence's room, it's pretty much what you'd expect from a fresh, high school graduate, clean but not truly clean.

"Alright princess, rise and shine you've got things to do today." I say opening the blinds.

"Lance, please five more minutes. "She muffled through the covers. I tried to pull off her in which I succeed, revealing the pink form which I've come to know and love as cadence.

"Alright then, guess I can go back to sleep today. Since you don’t want to go I can just fail your boyfriend and be done with it. Day off here I come. " I say leaving the room only to hear her as she springs up from her bed levitating a clock up with her magic.

" I didn't realize it was so late."

I sit and watch as cadence flies about the room getting ready to leave, guess that means no day off then.***

Walking out of the castle in the busying streets of canterlot, I eye ponies shopping, talking, and hanging out like they usually do. Positive, carefree, and always asking to pet me. Which I admit is probably one of the only good things about being a dog, I can hear cadence, chuckle as we walk past some mares.

"What's so funny?" I ask as cadence who was resettling her tri color mane of purple, gold, and pink in a ponytail mane style.

"Oh, nothing, it just seemed you were enjoying yourself with all that petting from those mares earlier."

I sigh at her actuation but, I know that I'm slightly blushing under all my fur, I try to hide it but the alicorn can just see right through my tough guy act.

"If I have to be honest pets are the only thing I get that's close to a message. Honestly, I've got so many cricks in my neck from night watch that I can barely move it sometimes."

Our conversation is cut short but the shouting of two ponies, one was a white stallion unicorn with a cross of light blue and blue mane and tail wearing the typical golden knight uniform the other was a brown Pegasus he had an even deeper brown mane he was wearing a yellow vest.

"Ah, there you two are. We can start the exam now, right armor?"

"Yeah, I guess, anyway hi cadence, lance. I thought we were gonna start without you." Cadence and armor hug each other, armor drops to my eye level and pets my head, scratching under my muzzle and then walks over to surge.

"If you're done, now it's time to begin the briefing. Since you missed taking the exam with everybody else, this is your sub-test. We've hidden a chest with a valuable item in it down in the sewers your exam is to retrieve it, lance here is to offer a guiding paw in finding its location. So your dear princess and commander fury has graciously lent him for this, so treat him well yeah?”

Armor walks right if next to me with a smile on his face as surge opens the manhole, gesturing us to jump in.

"Good luck both of you, Be careful. And lance please be nice with him. "

I stop cadence from saying anything else with a loud assertive bark, I jump down the hole into the canterlot sewers I hear armor say something before coming down after me.

"You've got thirty minutes to find the chest, good luck boys. Oh, watch out for the legendary, canterlot sewer beast.”

That's The last thing we hear surge say, we look forward into the black abyss of the sewer. I hear fumble with his equipment as we walk into the blackness.

Author's Note:

I know it's a bit short but I promise it will get better as it goes. anyway I'm open to criticism so please comment away

Comments

[Fedairkid]

Hi I'm new to the site and the fandom

Welcome to the family

As for the story, it sure is an interesting concept and i wish you the best of luck going forward, though i will not continue it ( don´t think anything of it, it just isn´t my cup of tea).

Some things that stood out to me during reading the first chapter :

Rain- a force that can wash away everything. Pain, memories, regrets, under the rain all of them are nothing but dirt to be cleansed.

I like that, a compelling way to start the story.

"Lance, please five more minutes. "She muffled through the covers

paints a cute picture of cadance in my mind, certainly not something i´m opposed to.

I´d say my main criticism would be that the writing is sometimes a bit confusing. An example would be this :

"That dream again, wait, what is, time is it?"

in the end there is only one comma and one "is" too many, but it does force one to read that sentence twice as it completely rearranges it.
Little mistakes like that are spread all throughout and really pulled me out of the story.

I´d say get an editor, but i am currently looking for one myself and know first hand how fruitless of an endeavour that can feel like if you´re new on this site. My suggestion would be to just proofread your story a couple times before publishing.

Welp, those were my two cents, have fun writing !