Chapter The Chapter That Took Too Long To Make: Something Something Ponies And Meta [Dawnscroll]
Everything was perfect. The yellow one had been bound and gagged, stretched out onto the stone slab. The remaining offerings, Rainbow Dash, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, and Scootaloo, still lay in his thrall. The knife had been honed to a fine razor’s edge now lay poised upon Fluttershy's chest. “Victory is mine! With a single thrust, the heart of Harmony will be tainted and unleash the Ultimate Evil, granting me the power I seek!” Caballeron crowed.
“OBJECTION!” came a gravelly voice from the entrance of the cave. “You’ve gone and skipped the process!”
Caballeron looked affronted at the shadowy figure just out of the Tree of Harmony’s light. “What? What process?”
“The standard villain process of master plans. You’re supposed to secure ultimate power, THEN gloat about your plan. Instead, you’ve just got a sacrifice who could’ve killed half a dozen times while you were monologuing, and no power.” The critic clucked his tongue in disappointment as he revealed himself. “They just don’t make good world-ending villains anymore…”
“Tirek!” Twilight declared, as her head snapped between him and Caballeron. “I should have known that…. Why are you wearing my tiara?” she asked.
Tirek reached up to his horns and adjusted the gaudy trinket. Some things just came with the package.
If he felt any surprise, Caballeron did not show it. The knife remained posed right above Fluttershy’s heart. “It doesn’t mean anything. I’m seconds away from victory.”
“Course it does,” the centaur chided as he wagged his finger. “Because until you have that power, it’s all just empty talk, isn’t it?”
The smuggler grit his teeth. “I beg to differ. Daring Do and her friends under my control. The sacrifice under my knife. Victory is mine!”
Tirek sighed, his horns glowing briefly as he ripped the knife from Caballeron’s magical grasp. “Come on now… you’ve got to have standards,” he scolded as turned the metal into a piece of modern art. “I know we’re shooting for the megalomaniac but “Victory is mine” is a bit too far…”
“You’re one to talk,” Twilight Sparkle growled, trying to keep both eyes on her former antagonists. Her horn glowed, her attention split between blasting the one with the Alicorn Amulet, and the one w--“
“Hard as it might be, I’m actually on your side,” Tirek placated simply. “Now, why don’t we all just sit back, relax, and make friendships over a slice of death.” He blinked and rubbed at his head. “I meant… sit back, scream, and let me torture you with cake… I mean…”
He swore as a stab of pain shot through his skull.
Something was wrong.
He felt… hollow. Empty. Like an under-inflated balloon. Hunger gnawed away inside of him, the kind that mere food could never satisfy. And if it couldn’t get what it wanted, it seemed intent on trying to cannibalize his soul from the inside out anyway.
The Element of Magic had given him a taste.
And some old habits were so easy to fall back into...
He needed magic.
He had to protect his little ponies and-
Wait.
No.
That was stupid.
Why would he do that?
Tirek howled as he clutched at his skull, the agony threatening to tear through his mind. A pounding on the inside of his skull. Bile rose in the depth of his throat, and he kicked at the cavern floor, stone splintering under his hoof.
He needed to protect the Tree and-
-No, damn the Tree! Drain it and slay the mortal and-
-Violence never solved anything! With these ponies, he could stop this. He had to-
-stop the sacrifice at all costs. Kill the yellow one. He could do it. He just needed to-
-protect Twilight and her friends! They shouldn’t have to be here and-
“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” the minotaur roared, as the thoughts whiplashed in his mind. Twilight and Caballeron stared at him in utter bewilderment as he seemed to fight at himself. Fingers tore at mane, the tyrant hunched over double.
An afterimage of white feathers impeded his vision as he beat his head against the floor. Every fiber of his being screamed for Magic.
Mockingly, the crystals called out to him, humming with the glow of his anathema.
Or did it?
In his half-fit of madness, Tirek’s magic snapped around the Tree of Harmony, flighty as if it might burn him.
Nothing.
Was it because he was Magic? Tirek didn’t know or rightfully care. Hungrily he began to gnaw as its aura, taking what he could, only to find that it resisted his grasp like oiled marble.
“Oh come on!” he thought angrily. “By the Creator’s bleeding heart, please cut me some sort of break!
It turned out that Please was what the Tree had been waiting for. Harmony was a saccharine and revolting thing, full of fluffy peace and sticky goodness. Like caramel.
Some part of him, deep inside, screamed out that this was wrong. He ignored it and gorged himself on the disgusting caramel.
Tirek channeled the stream towards his mouth and inhaled greedily. He shivered and nearly toppled over when the charged flow coursed over his tongue and down his throat, gathered in his lungs and raced like lightning through his nerves and veins. He stopped when his lungs were uncomfortably full, quickly expelled the useless air and then breathed in, eager for the next rush of energy. He felt flush with the warmth that suffused his body, spreading from his lungs to his extremities. It filled his soul, resonated with his physical being, and it soothed the throbbing and aching in every bone, muscle, and sinew.
Harmony writhed in him like a snake, as if trying to burst out of and return to the soil in which it had slept. His flesh burned beneath his skin, his own magic to wrestle its foreign counterpart into submission. Tirek trembled, standing on his hooves as he waited for the moment to pass.
Like the naive, pastiche joke of a villain he was, Caballeron regarded him cooly. Another mistake: what sort of villain let his enemy power up?
B-Listers and Neighponese, that’s who.
Ever so slowly, he began to win the inner fight. When the burn had lessened to a minor itch beneath his epidermis, Tirek finally released the breath he hadn't realize he held frozen in his lungs. His broad chest rose and fell in deep breaths, the ex-purity of Harmony settling within him. He shivered again, but not from cold or weakness. Instead, a sense of euphoria flooded him as the foreign magic naturalized and integrated with his physical being. The glow of the Tree faded but a fraction.
Just the reminder he needed. “I’m evil now.”
Twilight stared. “Weren't you already evil?’”
“No, ill-tempered. Now I am evil. Pure evil. I am now a being of distilled, refined hate and rage.”
The Princess of Friendship stared at the Minotaur. “Really?” she asked. “Because you seem kind of noble, what with the trimmed beard, and nice color palette and– ”
“Give it a moment,” Tirek said, eyes still locked on the earth pony before them. Caballeron flashed an amused grin as he continued to fiddle with the Alicorn Amulet. Tirek breathed in deeply, then let out a long, slow breath…which quickly grew in intensity and furor into a scream of unbridled loathing.
The bandit’s eyes widened, as the cave around them trembled. Dust and rocks split from the ceiling, and Twilight, not being a B-List Villain, did the smart thing and got out of the way.
“Oh buck me in the-” he managed to get out before a crimson hand crushed his windpipe. Quick as a flash, Tirek slammed his front hooves into the stallion's side, before flipping him over his shoulder and slamming him into the ground like a wet towel, making a small crater. He cocked his right arm back, the skin of his arm lit aflame in fire and shadow as his hand curled into a fist, coming down and smashing into Caballeron’s spine.
Caballeron tilted his head back, eyes snapped open to reveal white. A thick substance, not quite smoke yet not quite oil began to gush out of his mouth. It rolled across the floor like fog, yet Tirek couldn’t help but note it never once ventured neared the circle of light from the tree.
Caballeron’s body suddenly collapsed in on itself, like a pile of sodden rags. A suit of flesh and sinew, now hollow and deflated of the vileness that had inhabited it. The smokey oil raced towards the mouth of the cave.
“Wh̀y͢ is ̢i̡t̀ t̷ha͢ţ ͏n͘o͟ goo̡d ͜v̸i͝l͞lainou̧s p͠l̢an ͝su̴r҉v҉ives ͠c͟ontact ̕when̴ po̶ni͘e͜s ͏a̕r̵e̛ ҉in̵v̵olv̕ed͝…”
The words were disjointed, a chorus of voices speaking in unison with every dying whisper and monstrous roar. Tirek spun to meet the voice, firing off a barrage of multi-colored lights. Some bright oranges, others spinning purples and the final a sickly yellow hue. The bright orange vaporized the surrounding foliage, the spinning purple rent great furrows into the earth and the yellow spell turn the entrance of the Cave of Harmony into molten slag. Smoke trailed up from the oozing floor, the hellish light of his magic now shining brighter than the glow of Harmony.
"Now͝ Tir̕ek,́ tsk tsḱ, is ͡t̢h͝a̛t͏ h̀ow̷ w͞e g̵r͜eet o̧l̷d ͢f͡r̛i̧e͝nds?" came the mocking voice from the mist, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.
"I have no friends, now come out before I kill you!"
"Oh͡ ͞b̢ut Tìr̨e̵k, ͜àre̡ņ't̛ w̸e̵ ͠a͜re ̡bǫt͏h̷ ̢r̸eĺic͡s ́óf͠ ́ą ̨b͝ygo̶ne͝ ̕ag҉è? An̸d͜ ̵y͟et̀ ̴t͞hi͢s ͜i̸s h͏òw̸ ҉ỳo͏u͠ ̢gree͞t mé? ͟Yo҉u̧ m̴ake m̀e͟ ͟şad҉."
Red eyes flashed with barely contained rage, "You claim to know me?" he ground out.
"Def̛eated̕ ̢b̢y a͝ ̡h͞u̢m̨àn̡ ̸c͘h͜i̕l̵d҉,̧ ͟a u͠n͠i̛c̨o͟rn ̵pri͝n̷ce̕ss̴,̕ ̶an҉d͝ ҉a r̸ai̷n̡bow̸... tẁi͟c͡e҉ n̨ow, ís͠ ͟i̷t?"
Power. It came almost unbidden, coursing like a dam whose's floodgate had only crept open. A blast that tore open the landscape.
"No͟w ̴r̷e͝al͠ly,͏ did ̵t͟h̕at̕ ͟p̢o̷o̕r͝ bo͡ulde̴r͢ ̶deser̛v̀e̶ ̵deat͜h͠?̡ ́C҉ome ͢òn T͜ìr͞ek,҉ sh̀o̕ẃ som̷e͏ ͜k̢i̷n̡dn̡ess.̢"
A pair of unnatural violet eyes glowed suddenly from the mist.
"The only compassion I show is, a QUICK DEATH!" He slammed his fist into the very slag, the magic coursing down his arm and into the earth below. The explosion was enough to level the immediate forest clearing, shaking the very cliff surrounding him. The minotaur's chest was heaving, that last spell had taken it out of him for a bit; still, the mist had retreated from the entrance of the cave.
"Ohh͡h,̛ you̵ ̴must͘ hav̧e͝ ͢h͝it͠ ͠a Ley̡l̕i̛nę ̨wit̵h́ ͟th͜a̸t̶ ҉o̡ne. ̵And̸ ͜t͏h͝a̸t ̧w͜ǫu͘l͡d͠'v̶e̡ m͟a͡d̨e m̀y ͡job ̛so҉ m̶u̶ch ̡ea̛si̴er..́!"
"Who… are…. You!??!" Tirek's voice shook with fury.
More black mist began to appear in a vortex before the Minotaur Lord, gradually coalescing into an inequine shape. Legs that stood taller than some tree; hooves of cloven that left blue fire in their wake. A neck that that seemed to go on for eons...
Below its maddening, unutterable eyes, a tongue dripping with the same foul, smoky black surface waved and snatched at his red face as though it possessed a separate will and volition. The great toothed maw in the center grew wider and wider as it became more real.
It was a Giraffe.
She bowed her head till it touched the forest floor, which, for a creature whose neck was over twelve feet long, was quite the accomplishment. The mockery of everything equine flashed a Cheshire grin, that glowed stark white against the hellish light of the forest fire. It was not a pretty smile. In fact, one might call it the absolute most terrifying smile ever made by any living creature on the face of the planet in all of history.
“҉I am t̵he ͘D҉uc̕h̀esş o͏f̕ M͡e̛anwh̶il̕e,͞ ́t̡he Co̕ul̸d-͏H͏ave͡-B̧e͘e҉n̛ C͟oùnt̕e̸ss ̛a͏nd͠ La̕dy҉ ̕of the ̷Narr̢ow̢ Place̵s… ̛but͝ ͏yo̴u̴ càń c͝all͠ ͏me̴ ̧Cre͡a̵ms̛i͜c͟lè,͘ aņd͘ ma̕y͞ ̧I sa̴y͏ it is̷ such̸ ͢t̷he hon͢o͡r ̷to͟ m̸ak̶e-”
“One of the forgotten rejects,” he interrupted, none to cruelly. She was a relic of a bygone age. Forgotten even in her own time. Yet, that made her an Old One all the same, just as he. The smile slowly slid of off the giraffe’s face, until it was a thin pursed line.
“Wait, Creamsicle? I've never heard of her... and I LIVE in a Library!” Twilight asked, staring at Tirek. "
“You could say She was my cellmate of sorts for forty thousand years,” Tirek explained. “If you count the other side of Tartarus as a cell...”
“I ̵re̛al̴ly ̵wi͢s҉h ͝ỳou ̶w͞o̢u̵ld ̀h̷a̵ve let m̸è ͜f̶in͜i̕sh̵ed,̸” the giraffe’s voice rang out through the forest glen. Her lips never moved. “Becąu̡se ̕at ̡l̕ęast͢ t͘ḩen yoų ̢wo̡ul͘d ̡h̵ave li̵ved ̶t̷hat͝ ͞m͏uch̵ ͡lo̕n̕ger҉.̸”
Immediately, Tirek’s world went inverted, upside down, reverse, a nauseating shade of puce, and Dutch. All at once. All at the same time.
A blink.
The giraffe stood before him. Or had she always been there? Had he come to her? The minotaur felt his head snap up. That neck falling like a guillotine. The distorted mouth filled with far too many needles. The teeth that were aimed straight for the throat.
Well. That was unfortunate.
The minotaur awoke, he came to the mortal understanding of consciousness. Tirek stepped back away from the screen, a colossal image of the scene he had just come from, frozen before him.
The forest grove around them had vanished. The world was gone, and he saw stars swimming before his eyes. Blinking, pressing his hand briefly to his temple to stifle a terrible headache, he rose to his hooves, testing the.... was there even a ground?
A vein twitched in his neck. If this had all been “just a dream,” another delusion caused by the food they served in Tartarus, he swore would strangle the Furies with their own intestines.
“My dearest Twili- TIREK?!”
The minotaur turned towards the source of the voice. There in the center of the hallway, a white alicorn of once serene grace, yet now utterly flabbergasted, was standing. She gaped at Tirek, her mouth flapping like a fish out of water. Her eyes darted rapidly, whatever that held.
It looked like the Princess. Sounded like her. Yet only a blind fool would assume it was Princess Celestia.
“What’s wrong, Princess? Not who you were expecting?” he snarled back.
But the creation was not just a figment of his imagination. The princess had earned the tiniest bit of his grudging respect; to embed a memory construct of oneself in the echoes of a relic like the Element of Magic was no small parlor trick. That alone made it infinitely better than the dream Celestia made of pillows back in his cell.
The solar goddess, however, looked as though she had been bucked in the teeth. “You bonded with the Element of Magic?" she asked, clearly not believing her eyes. "How is that even possible? Harmony should have rejected you utterly!”
"Yet here I stand." Tirek crossed his arms in front of his chest.
He looked around at the glowing stars that covered nearly every inch of space in the mental landscape, great screen of light flitting by ever so often. They were the only source of light, yet each had a still image from some point of view. He reached out and tapped the surface of one, the surface rippling like water before the image suddenly came to life. He watched the perspective move until it came to rest upon a blue alicorn, Princess Luna, who stood close at hand.
"The empire's magic is powerful. It cannot fall again, my sister," Luna gravely warned.
"She will succeed at her task. And when she does, we'll know she is that much closer to being ready," came Celestia's voice, from somewhere offscreen. Tirek smiled in grim satisfaction, and ceased his contact with the memory, bringing it to a halt and allowed it to drift lazily down the current of thought.
“Where exactly are we?”
"You already know this," came Celestia biting accusation. "You have all these memories already. You’re the one who decided to split us."
"I nearly lost myself in the process," Tirek explained, as he peered into another memory. "And I will not be freed and empowered only to find myself caged by a prison of my own making."
“And that’s worth fracturing your own mind?”
“I would dash your half to pieces if I could but reach.”
Celestia fell silent.
“...did she suffer.”
Tirek raised an eyebrow at that, a sneer of cold disdain on his lips upon her whispered words. Such endearance was a sign of weakness. “If it makes your whining any more tolerable, your little princess is still alive and well. For now.”
Celestia simply stared at him. “Why… no, don’t bother. I have a feeling I won’t like the answer…” she muttered, as a screen of light appeared before to her. "This trick works both ways you know," was her simple response to his questioning look. With a simple tap of her hoof, she played back his conversation with Discord, as the draconequus freed him from the depths.
“After our last encounter, I find it hard to believe that your intentions could be anything but malevolent...” the echo of Tirek accused.
“Good, because they’re not. Listen to me, and listen well. I have need of you above, the situation is dire...” came Discord's reply, and the real Tirek had to bite hard on his tongue to keep from lashing out. To hear that fool a second time merely added grated every nerve in his skin. Before, he had been feeble and in chains, and willing to grasp a spider’s thread to freedom. Now, Magic coursed in his veins and whispered it's subtle secrets to him.
The minotaur watched as Celestia's face pass through many expressions as the memory played in full: shock, disbelief, anger, anguish, and, most interesting for him, fear. It was a novel expression to see on her once haughty face. Even as he had stood over her and drained with few drops of magic had remained in her shell upon his prior escape, she had never summoned up more than a glance of disinterest for him.
After a moment, she took a deep breath, her magenta eyes locking onto his with cold severity. "So let see if I got this straight..." We're in the Everfree Forest, Discord told you to absorb the power of the Tree of Harmony to protect it, stop the ponies brainwashed by Caballeron, who, just to confirm is a Giraffe of all thing... While doing so, protect the tree, preserve the forest, and keep the blood of an innocent from awaking... Him." The figment Celestia shivered, a far-off look of dread on her face. "Damn you Discord... even this is too far for a joke."
Tirek, by now, had stopped tapping his hoof as he waited for her to finish. His gaze flicked by up the giant screen above them, watching as the globules of Caballeron's blood drifted with glacial slowness. "And my reward should I succeed..."
Celestia's echo was silent for longer than what Tirek would have liked. How much of a leash did she have on that Draconequus, he wondered.
"I suppose that will be up to the real Celestia if you meet her. Discord promised you freedom. That does not seem... unreasonable," she offered neutrally. Tirek lips grew thin, unamused at the evasiveness but he would take it. “I will accept you as an ally. For now.”
“...still don’t think you have much say in this.”
She gave an angry snort and turned her head away. "He's treating this like a game, sending you of all people."
Now it was Tirek’s turn to grow insulted. “Excuse me? The real you has been strangely absent this whole time.”
“I’m probably off being heroic.”
“...is the real you this deluded?” Tirek wasn’t sure he wanted to know. “I’m the best chance you have at existing, even if it’s beneath my hooves as a slave.”
"No, because even my inbred great-nephew would have had a better chance," she said pointedly. “Magic… Magic I can understand how it could accept it. That doesn’t mean I like it.” Celestia conceded. “But the only thing you’re Loyal too is yourself. The words Kindness and Generosity are as foreign on your tongue as Neighponese. Deceit slips off your tongue easier than Honesty and unless you've really been practicing your villainous cackle, Laughter is out of the question.”
"No matter," he scoffed. "With the bulk of the powers of the Elements of Harmony at my disposal, it will be easy to-"
"Five percent," Celestia automatically corrected. Tirek's brain came to a crashing halt.
"Excuse you?" he dared to ask.
"Five percent. The Element of Magic, in total, contains approximately five percent of the joint magical stores of the Elements of Harmony," she explained with careful slowness, frowning ever so slightly. "I thought it would have been obvious. Magic is the keystone upon which Harmony resides, but it draws upon the reserves of the others."
Tirek wondered if Discord had known this. Of course, that snake wouldn't have missed something like this. Just what then would Tirek have to give up to claim Generosity? What secrete would gift him Honesty? Creator forbid the self-humiliation to incur Laughter?
And yet, in the back of his mind, Tirek was elated. If Magic was but a taste of Harmony, his soul craved to taste the might of the other five.
His fist clenched in arcane power, the muscles along his firm bulging from the strength within. “More than enough. With this artifact’s war magick’s I will stop Caballeron. I will rend mountains and boil seas. I will… I will...” He stopped with he caught Celestia’s abashed look. “...is there something you’re not telling me.”
The alicorn was silent, biting her bottom lip furtively.
“...this doesn’t come with weapons, does it?”
“I mean… technically you COULD banish him to the moon. But that’s more like long range teleportation, and not necessarily “pew-pew lasers,” Celestia reasoned. For good measure, she held her forelegs above her ears, bending her hooves towards him with each ‘pew’.
“If Magic is harmless, then what will hurt it?!” he demanded. Celestia paused her impromptu laser battle and tapped her hoof to her chin for a moment.
“I’d have to say… Kindness.”
“Kindness? You’re saying that Kindness is the most powerful of the Elements?”
“Well, you have heard the expression ‘Kill them with Kindness’, haven’t you?”
“...I have half a mind to let Him erase you all for that alone.” Tirek said at last. “I guess we’ll just resort to my specialty… glass the landscape.”
The echo shook her head. "Let me take control. Just for a little while. There has to be another way."
"What do you intend to do then?" Tirek snarked. "Talk him to death?"
There was silence from the other corner of his mind. Tirek blinked in disbelief, the realization striking him like a bolt of lightning.
"Oh maker above, that's actually the plan? Diplomacy!?"
"Well, I was also intending on belittle that.. that... that Thing... from a position of moral superiority," she added with a nonexistent shrug.
"I do not think it has a functioning mind."
"Emotional scars hurt just as much as fleshy scars alike," Pseudo-Celestia defended.
"No, scars hurt far worse! And would be useful to us in this case!" he snarled. Tirek gave a wearied sigh. The only thing that kept him from walking away from this madhouse was the very real fact that if he did, all of existence, himself included, was doomed. His mind sorted through screens, one after another as he sought to find something, anything, that would give him an edge. Before his eyes, the Thing crept forward another fraction of an inch. Yet he watched every would-be conflict she had endured in the past millennia of her life. Just as spears were being shaken, gleaming swords raised in the air, the solar princess would placate her foe with the most mundane trivialities. Celestia sharing cake with the a band of Griffon marauders; Celestia betting the whole of the Appleloosan west in a poker match with the buffalo chiefs; Celestia in a particularly deep round of negotiations with a Changeling Queen.
“Drone! Bring us more honey!”
He sped by that one in post haste. Far more than he needed to see.
At last, he came upon a scene, in a valley he had not gazed upon since the sun and moon were new.
"Alright, the Waste of Dream Valley, what part exactly did you play in the battle?" he asked, his hands almost lovingly touching the screen. Then the world was young, the mountains green, with no stain yet upon the mountain scene. Then, he had been strong in his castle of Midnight. And the ponies weakened and scattered.
And then those infernal Witches came.
"Well you know, I did fight..."
"Need I remind you that ALL of existence, sister and your precious student included, is on the line?"
Celestia's mouth snapped shut with a sharp clip. The mental figment danced on her hooves nervously. "Words hold their power."
"You fought with words," Tirek buried his face in his hands.
"I fought with words. And when the witches redoubled their efforts and approached the castle in a rally, I taunted them a second time."
"You taunted at them from afar."
"Scared them a fair bit if I may say so myself."
That was it. Tirek angrily stalked off back towards the colossal screen which held the present. At the look of enraged disgust on the minotaur's face, she tried to wave him back. “Wait! Just what are you going to do? You can’t fight something like that!”
Tirek reached out and placed a hand on the screen. The world poured out, ensnaring him in the present once more.
“To think I fell at your hands…” he muttered in disgust as the giraffe lunged at him. “I’ll take my chances.”
Everything for a five-mile radius spontaneously erupted into a foliage raping bubble of pure fire and transformed the land into a glassed over crater five wide and a mile deep.
Celestia looked up from her tea, the morning paper, and a particularly fine slice of cake, noticing the glowing orange light over the horizon. Sighing, she set her tea down. “Looks like Equestria is in danger... Again.”
Luna facehoofed from behind Celestia, “In my own name, the Everfree? That area is going to be on fire for the next ten years, isn’t it?”
“Most likely,” Celestia agreed. “If I was a betting mare... and I'm NOT," she stressed to a suddenly excited Luna, who simply pouted and tucked away the poker deck somewhere on her person, "I would say that Twilight really needs to learn that not all of her friendship problems can be solved by glassing everything.” She looked at the ceiling. “Someone get me a drink. Something strong, preferably.”
"You think she has it covered?"
"I think she'll have it fixed in twenty-eight minutes. If it goes longer, then maybe it’s time to worry."
“Get back here so I can incinerate your hide!” Tirek roared, launching himself after Creamsicle with runes glowing almost like individual suns. Every single combat spell he knew raced through his mind, along with calculations for the exact amount of force that he’d need to reduce the giraffe into molten slag. With every blast, she either seemingly shrugged it off or dodged, and Tirek’s blood ran hot when he realized the infernal beast was playing with him.
“Has anyone ever told you that you have breathtaking anger management problems?” the Celestia whispered in the back of his mind. “I mean, there’s having a short temper, and then there’s being on a hair trigger. But if you wind up destroying the very Tree you're trying to save… the only way to stop her is to harness the power of the elements and-”
“Yes, the tree!” Struck by a bolt of inspiration, Tirek teleported back to the Tree of Harmony and wrapped his arms around the crystal trunk. With a grunt of exertion, the thick cords of his muscles straining, he uprooted the tree, roots and all.
“No, not the tree!” Twilight screeched in disbelief. A flash of light, and the minotaur had teleported in front of the giraffe and swung.
Twilight gave a moan of despair and buried her face, shielding her eyes from the rain of crystal shrapnel that fell around them. The only one who didn’t seem phased was a certain lilac unicorn, who stared at the minotaur trying to beat the elder creature to death with the cracked and broken trunk of Harmony.
It was surprisingly effective.
After a few solid thwacks the giraffe’s neck resembled an accordion. She tried to crawl out of the crater he had made for her, only for him to bring it down upon her over and over. Until at last a field of purple magic held it still in his hands.
“Let go of the tree,” Tirek warned as he tugged against her magic.
“For goddesses' sake, use another one!” Twilight growled, as she tugged back. He dug in his hooves, leaving furrows against the dirt.
“Magic must defeat magic!”
“Then why are you beating her with it like a club?!”
“Its a club of Good!”
“It’s the Tree of Harmony, not a golf club!”
“I SWEAR IF YOU’LL JUST LET ME IMPALE HER WITH IT-”
And so on and so forth until at last, the tree crumbled away into shards from their childish tug of war.
As battered as she was, Creamsicle gave a bitter laugh.
“I wa͜s͟ bròu͡g̨ht bac̸k͠ fo͢r̡ ͡th͘e ͜sa̵m̨e͘ ̸r͠eas̸o̵n͟ yơu̡ w̸e͡r̷e̕- b̕e̸ca͠us̕e͝ ͘th̸e͠ ̷Uni͜vers̛e̛ ͟d̀ema̶n̸d͢e͟d ̵it̶.͡” As the creature spoke Tirek felt the darkness pressing in around him. “W҉hy͟ ͟sp̸end ͢a͡ny̨ ti҉m̕e͘ ̕pùtt̵ing ͝ef͡f͝ort i̵n͡to͜ ͢somet͏h͟in̛g ͘n͘ew̛ ̧whe̛n ̕y̛ơu͢ ̸ca̧n̕ jus͜t͠ re̢t̕r͜ac̢e o̴l̕d͜ ̶p̡ath̡s? Yo̶u ̴assum͝e ̡y̛o̢u͏'re̛ hér̨e̡ becau̴se ͢y̛o͟u̕ ́werȩ ̸po̸w̴e̡r̡ful, ͠b́e̸ca͏us͡e ̸t̷h̢a̕t ̕mi͠sma̶tche̷d ̷wyr̨m̧ n̛ee͠ded ́ýo̢u." Creamsicle spat out a tooth, any amusement gone from her voice. "Y͞ou'͢r͡è ͠he̵r͘ȩ ́be͢cause ͏s͘o̢me ͝Ņew̵ Òne͏s ͡tho͡u̵gh̀t ͟they̴ ͘c̀oưld͟ play̨ God. ͏The̷y͏ li͘ve th̷ei͘r ̧li̵v̧e̢s͟ ͡and̀ ͠d͠e̢ál w̢i͟t̡h̢ ẃhat͏'s̢ m҉u̴nda͏ne ̴to the͡m̛.͝ Yóu'̶r̨e ҉j̢u͠s͘t ͠t͜h͏e͡ l͏at͞est̴ ͞s̶nip̴pe̕t̴ ҉o͢f ̕ąm̕use͠m̢ent͜."
The giraffe puffed up her chest, propping herself up against the edge of the crater.
"B͟ig ̡ba҉d͝ Tire͘k̨,͜ s̡ţro̵ng Tirek. L̡o̡rd o̕f t̶he͟ ͘M͟i͡d͡nigh̨t̕ ̴Cas̢t͢le ͘T̡ir̀e͏k. Ça͘n̴'͝t l̨èt ̧a g҉o̡od̕ v̷i̵llai̡n go͡ to͟ ͘wást͝e, ͢T͟iŗe͝k͠," she chided. “D̡oes͠ it̵ feęl ̕g̵o҉o̴d̨ ̴to k̴now̕ ̶th̶at͝ ͟your̶ ͡one ҉d̸i̴men͜s҉ío̕n͡al̶ d̴esi͡r̵ę ̷f͡or c͠on͢t̵r̡o͝ļ w͘i͞l͞l͝ fi̵na͘l͜ly̴ ̵en͝sur̀e ̡t̨he e̛rasur҉é ͘of̴ t͠h̶i̢s ́uníversa̕l̴ ͝mo̕ckery?”
The briefest lapse of confusion at her words was all she needed: he paused and the creature struck. The blast was a spiral of nothingness that tore at the very space around it. The purple alicorn next to him threw up a barrier at the last moment, but the force of the attack caused the dome to crack in dozens of places.
Thus began the dance.
Tirek, or at least, Twilight portion of Magic's memories that were now engraved in his mind, found himself acting in sync with the former bearer, throwing titanic blasts of energy at eldritch african. Twilight did not know how many attacks she could successfully block. Each one that she was unable to deflect took Tirek's attention away to blast it out of the air. Each explosion ceded a little more ground to the Old One as they kept up the arcane match. It didn't even look like Creamsicle was exerting any effort; appearing from a seemingly random portion on the forest to launch the next assault, only to vanish once the next attacked reach her. Once either of them were exhausted, the strain of defending themselves would become incredible.
It didn't take long.
“T̸his͡ ͏i̡s ͏e͡x҉a̢c̶t͝ly ́as͘ ̨t̵h͟e ͘Néw ͞O̵n͢es f̀o̧ret̕óld͞!” Creamsicle mused aloud with sycophantic glee. “Ev̡er͢y ļįne,͝ ̢ev͠e͢ry st̡ep…”
A stray bolt took off one of Tirek's horns, and he fired wildly in abandon in a barrage of arcane fire. “No! I deny you and Him! I am the sole controller of my fate!"
Twilight skidded alongside him, her chest heaving with each breath as her horn sputtered like a guttering candle. She was sorely regretting not taking Rainbow Dash's offer to train…
“O͘h ̸my ͘fri͜ènd.͘ .͝ .̵ ̷th͞at ͡on̕ly ͜w̡orks̷ ҉if ̶yo͜u b͟elieve ͝it,̀ bu̧t ͠w̷ę b҉ot̸h̢ kno̷w ͠th͡at͝ ̧y͠ou d̸ǫn͝’t.̡ ͝Yo̴u kn̕ơw ̸t͏h̶e t͝r̴u̸th͢.̧ Y҉o͡u'̶ve͜ ͞doǹe ͡t̨hìngs ͞the T҉ir͡e͜k̨ o͡f̛ ǫld ͡n̨ever w͟ould ͜h͝a͘ve ҉d͞r͡e̛am̀ȩd o͠f̵. ͟You̴'r҉e t̕r͏y͏i͜n̛g͝ t̴ǫ bo͟n̕d ̴w̨it̢h̀ H̢a͠rm̧on͘y͘, ̕d̵ąncin̶g fór̀ t͞h͘e͜ ͏New ͏O͟n҉e̵s͜ lik͝e a͟ strin̛ge͢d ̶mar̛io̢ne̶tte̴.̴ Heŕe,” she growled, as the spots on her body glowed with an unearthly light, "Let͢ ͡me͢ c҉út̀ th͢e̷m f̸ór҉ y̧ou̵!"
The blast of dark flames that slammed into Tirek tore through Twilight's barrier and slammed her against the cave wall. Seconds that followed felt like hours. Fire. Screams. A burst of As she stood up on shaky legs, she could numbly make out the Minotaur collapse to his knees alongside her. Pain lanced down her side, she tentatively pressed a hoof against it. Yup, rib broken.
Twilight coughed the ash from her lungs, her shield fading from existence. “Alright, who isn’t dead?”
The collective of groans and mumbles of pain was enough to let her know that her friends breathed; for now.
“Argh, my leg! How is Trixie suppose to perform with her leg like this?!” the showmare asked, holding up a hoof that had the slightest of cuts on it.
“I think you’ll survive…”
Trixie began to open her mouth but faltered as she saw the murderous glint in Twilight’s eyes. The twilight alicorn gave a nod of satisfaction and began to take stock. Rainbow Dash was nursing a broken wing, Starlight had suffered a particularly nasty burn on her side, and young Scootaloo had managed to get escape with little more than a bloody nose.
Twilight sighed in relief.
Everyone was alive and well.
“Twilight… um... If you get the chance… a little pegasistance?” came Fluttershy’s weak plea.
Oh. Right. Fluttershy was here too.
“Of course,” Twilight said with a tired sigh as she examined her friend. “But I’m sure it’s nothing-”
Her voice died in her throat as she realized it was nothing.
About half of the Pegasus was now nothing, pulped in the blast.
The remaining half didn’t look too good either.
“How does it look?” Fluttershy asked weakly.
“..probably how it feels,” Twilight answered, trying to hold her stomach.
“I’m imagining crushed raspberries then.”
“You’re going to be alright,” Twilight tried to tell her. Something hot burned on her cheeks as she fumbled for Fluttershy’s hoof. “We just need to get you out of here and everything will be just fine…”
“No, it’s alright,” Fluttershy insisted. “I’ll wait patiently.”
“No, we can fix this,” Twilight insisted, picking up what looked to be half a kidney and stuff it back inside her friend. “We can cut Trixie in half, and then sew the two of you together!”
“HEY!”
“OH SHUT UP, TRIXIE!” Twilight snarled.
“Twilight, I’m fine. It’s just a flesh wound,” Fluttershy offered, as a line of blood floated up her face.
That wasn’t normal.
It was then that Twilight noticed the remnants of her friend floated several inches off the ground. A nicked and burnt Tirek, his horns aglow with magic next to her, held her aloft in his magic.
“Blood of the innocent…” Tirek explained, as he knelt down alongside Twilight. Relief was palpable in his voice. “If a single drop hits the ground while she’s still alive, the End of All will come.”
“Oh… well… I’m sorry?” Fluttershy apologized, as her sole remaining ear folded back in worry. “I didn’t mean to try and end the world…”
In the distance, the Old One slowly knit herself back together. Neck bones snapped back into place, spotted fur stitching over as she grew Tall over the forest once more. She grinned in savage delight at the carnage amongst the ponies.
“Y͘ess̀s͝sss͠,̕” she hissed in sibilant joy. “L̢et ̢it ͜en͝d.͡ L̨et ̕him̴ co̶mę. ͘V̡icto͡r͡y ̧is̸ ̨m҉ine͠ ͏a͡t͢ ͠l͞a͟st͟…͢”
Creamsicle stepped back in shock as Tirek began to become surrounded by a prismatic glow. Discord’s words echoed in his head. “You're wrong, demon. I win,”
The monster transformed its body into a living weapon as it shot towards the cave in an arrow of black flames. There was no defending against the attack, so Tirek did the only thing he could.
He defied it.
Tirek cupped the Pegasus’s face in his hands, his touch surprisingly tender for one so large. Cerulean eyes met his for a moment, wide and fearful. An impossibly tiny nod of understanding. And perhaps, in that pained gaze, gratitude.
“This is a kindness.”
With a sharp twist, and perhaps a crack that was too quiet for Tirek’s liking, the pegasus lay dead at his feet.
Twilight nudged her with her hoof.
“......” Twilight took a deep breath, took another deep breath, stared at Fluttershy some more, and-
Celestia looked up in confusion from where she nursing a glass of scotch, “Luna, did you hear a scream?”
“Nope.”
“Ah, alright then.”
Tirek stared at Twilight in silence, grateful his eardrums had burst after the first five seconds. A quick spell healed him. “Feel better?”
Twilight hyperventilated a few times and sat down on the rubble, head firmly dropped into her hooves, “....no?”
That was when the colossal white wings exploded from his back, covered in fresh gore and sinew, and with it a radiance of rainbow that sent Creamsicle into the molten slag with the speed of a bullet. Tirek screamed, fingers digging into his sides as he clawed at them. “By Faust’s milky teats that HURTS.”
His veins burned with power as Kindness bonded with him. His groans of became slowly melted into a giggle. Then a chuckle. Then Tirek, threw his head back and laughed. Kindness burned cold inside of him, like an intoxicating wine.
Who knew that being good could feel so bad?
“Now they’re just giving them everypony!” complained an irate showmare before there was a loud thwack that left her yelping and rubbing the back of her skull.
“There we go… danger averted. World saved, prophecy spoiled. Giraffe soon to be stuffed and mounted on my wall...”
“Are you crazy?!” Twilight screeched, her eyes wild. “Nopony in the write mind would think Fluttershy innocent!”
“But Discord said-”
“I don’t give two flying flips what he told you!” Twilight screamed, her eyes wild. “You haven’t seen the pet cemetery behind her house!”
Creamsicle laughed. "Yo̕u̡ ̷po̷ni͡es ̨h̸a͟vé le͟a̷rn̢ed̀ ͠n͡o͢thing͘.̴ Th͘èŕe ͡a̛ŗe ̛no͡ ͘p̵ow͝ers to ̡a͞i͝ḑ ͝y̢ou̵.͜ ͞I need́ on͘ly̧ ̕on͡e ͜m̕o̸r̵e͘ ͝th͝ing͘ f̸ŗom you͘ t͏o m̷ak͟e͞ ͝my ̛vi͡c̨t҉or̕y c͢ơm̡p̢let̵e."
The herald of Him smiled expectantly. She seemed to be looking at Scootaloo.
Twilight glanced over. Scootaloo’s nose was still bleeding. She seemed unaware that a trickle of blood had made its way down her face to the end of her chin.
"Scootaloo, look out …" Twilight tried to say, but for once her voice failed her.
A single drop of blood fell from her chin. It hit the ground between her hooves and sizzled like water on a frying pan.
The blood of a child's innocence watered the ancient forest. The Everfree shifted and groaned beneath their feet as something ancient awoken.
Creamsicle looked down at the cracking earth, revealing a monstrously carven portal which was slowly being forced open. The world was ending. She had been the cause. Huge Kraken-like tentacles were forcing the portal open. They whipped through the air, decimating what was left of remaining forest. She looked up to see a mandible the size of a small house bearing down upon the little group.
"He̶ ̀has̛ awo͘ke͜n̴,͜" she whispered fervently, bowing her long neck. "Pŗais͘e̵ ҉hi͟m! Pra̛i̵s̕e̵ ͝him̷!̢"
"What... what is that..." Twilight pleaded, unable to look away from the horror. Something within Tirek's very soul died that moment. How could he convey that the ruin of all had come? The devourer of worlds and souls and reality alike. A mighty, apathetic god who only sought silence for silence's sake. All he could say was…
"Brian Goldner has come."
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A disaster that involves one or more of the Elements of Harmony and lasts longer than roughly twenty-eight minutes is known as a Code Season Bookend, according to the Royal Guard Alternative Disaster Scale.
CENTAUR!
Sorry, but the two are very different things. They don't even have the same number of limbs!
I would like to go on record to say that the chapter that is currently displayed definitely an incomplete version of what was written. You guys guys might wanna recheck which file was uploaded...