Chapter 46 - Total Chaos (Part 1)
It was a bright autumn morning as Barrier and his former cadets were strolling about Einar’s Groceries, picking out a selection of foods for the week. The store was buzzing as customers were going about their day.
Barrier and company were packed into a tight aisle with two grocery carts that were nearly filled to the brim with goods.
“Alright,” Verdant’s nose was buried in a collection of flyers with the occasional glance at their shopping carts. “Thanks to these babies, we’ll be able to save about… a hundred and thirty-two bits.”
“Do we seriously need to get all these tubes of toothpaste, Verdant?” Winter Gem asked as she pushed one of the carts along, carrying twenty four of the aforementioned tubes.
“Absolutely, Gem!” Verdant was practically squealing with joy from his savings. “These things are normally five bits a tube, but we’re gonna price match them for one!”
“Fine,” the alabaster mare sighed and rolled her eyes. “But we’re still getting some more jars of peanut butter.”
The earth pony reached out towards a jar, but before she could grab it, the jar suddenly sprouted a set of legs, leapt off the shelf and ran down the aisle.
“Did… did anypony else see that?” Barrier glared at the sight of the running jar. If one of them put something in my flask, I swear to Faust…
“We… we all did, sir.” Forge was gobsmacked at the strange sight.
Shouts and gasps started to come from the other aisles.
“Investigate, now.” Barrier barked before teleporting to the nearby produce section of the store.
What was happening was the single strangest thing that the charcoal unicorn had seen in his life. Fruits and vegetables had somehow gained limbs like the kind he’d seen in the newspaper comic strips and some of the cartoons Wind Whistler would have them rent. Cherries were leaping at other customers while pineapples were dancing about with the cucumbers, and the apples were in a long struggle with the coconuts to reach the top of a pile of soup cans.
Don’t say; ‘how could this get any damn stranger’. Barrier snorted as he blasted some fruit off of the fleeing customers. You just know it will get weirder in 3… 2…
“Captain!” Hat Trick called Barrier from one of the store’s windows. “You may want to get a look at this.”
In a quick flash, Barrier was at the pegasus’ side. Gazing out of the window, Barrier was greeted by the sight of bright pink clouds with yellow and white puffs falling from them. As the puffs grew closer, he could see that the snowy puffs were popcorn that melted into chocolate milk as they landed on the ground or somepony outside.
“What in Faust’s name is going on?” Forge’s voice rang out as he and his fellow housemates rushed up to the window. The cobalt stallion tripped on a soup can that one of the apples had knocked loose, sending him hurtling towards the window.
Instead of smacking into the window or crashing through in an explosion of shards, Forge simply passed through the window, the glass rippling behind him as if it were made of rubber.
Barrier’s eyebrow quirked as Hatty pressed a hoof through the window and began stirring it around like a spoon through a thick stew.
“Privates, follow me.” Barrier leapt through the window, his housemates following suit as he charged towards the manor.
Hopefully, the princess will have an idea what’s going on. Barrier thought as a blue and pink streak came from the clouds, soon revealed to be Fleetfeather. I just hope it’s not what I think it is.
“Anything you can tell me about those clouds, Fleet?” Barrier huffed as he and his housemates charged in a thunderous stampede.
“Only that the bloody things seem to be made of cotton candy and they’re snowing popcorn,” Fleet pulled ahead of the pack, reaching the manor’s gate and blasting it open as she barreled through. “What should we do, sir?”
“First off, get in contact with the princesses for a status report,” Barrier replied as his horn flared, slamming the front door open as they quickly filed in. “After we get some intel, we can act on whatever’s happening. Verdant, head upstairs and get some parchment and one of the ribbons.”
“Aye, sir!” Verdant replied as he rushed up the stairs, followed soon by the other privates.
“I’m heading to the school,” Fleet piped in as she turned back. “I’ll get Wind Whistler home and make sure she’s safe.”
“Probably a good call.” Barrier offered her a nod as she took to the skies, gracefully weaving her way through the popcorn flurries.
“Sir, bad news!” Verdant called out as he rushed down the stairs, now with a quiver on his hip and bow on his back. “I couldn’t find a single one of the ribbons.”
“How’s that possible?” Barrier gave the earth pony a flat look. “Last I checked, we had about two dozen left...” the unicorn started to trail off as he heard a cheer coming from the living room. “One sec.”
In a bright flash of teleportation, Barrier appeared in the living room where he saw that the ribbons he’d sought had formed a conga line, gleefully cheering as they marched into the fireplace. The unicorn tried to raise a shield around the fireplace, but the remaining ribbons leapt up around the forming shield and landed in the ravenous flames.
“Dammit!” Barrier exclaimed with a stomp before a flurry of hoofbeats reached his ears. Turning around in a snap, he’d spotted the privates had all taken up arms. Swift carrying her family’s sword was a sight he’d grown accustomed to at the breakfast table, but Hat Trick was sporting a brand new set of wing blades, Winter Gem a pair of gauntlets and Forge a large war hammer.
“I thought it would be a good idea to make a new set of weapons for us, just in case.” Forge said as Barrier’s eyes scrutinized the weapons they carried.
“Good thinking,” the charcoal pony replied as he brushed past the five. “Meet me outside in sixty seconds. I’ll only be a moment.”
The privates gave the unicorn a salute before they charged towards the door. Meanwhile, Barrier made his way to his bedroom.
“Feels just like the old days,” Barrier sighed as his horn flared, lifting up a nightstand and shifting a floorboard away.
“Was hoping I’d never have to use you again,” he muttered as from the hidden compartment rose a sword in an old scabbard. Barrier brought the blade to his side and secured the scabbard’s belt around his barrel, a series of old-equestrian runes lighting up as he fed his magic into it, reactivating the enchantments laid into the metal.
Taking a deep breath, Barrier started to jog out to the front door.
“Once more unto the breach,” the unicorn said to himself as he trotted through the door, where he found the privates waiting along the pathway in single file.
“Privates,” Barrier’s tone was a familiar one to the cadets, one they had heard for over two years. It was the tone of a captain ready to train his soldiers for the horrors of war. “I want you to head into the city, help any civilians that you can and if possible, try to restore some semblance of order here. Work your ways towards city hall and offer your services to whoever is in charge there… Barring somepony's in charge, it will fall to you to take charge of everypony present, Swiftsword. Understood?”
“Sir, yes, sir!” the privates shouted back in a practiced unison.
“Good. While you’re doing that, I will attempt to get to Canterlot and see if there’s anything I can do to help the princesses or vice versa,” Barrier’s eyes were kept forward as he headed towards the now-dented front gate. A pattering of hooves on stone reached his ears, letting him know the privates had quickly fell in behind him and were marching in harmony.
“Sir,” Swift spoke up, “Permission to speak freely?”
“Granted,” Barrier replied as he flared his horn, pulling his flask from his saddlebags.
“Do you have any idea what may be causing all of this?” Swift’s tone was the practiced stoicism Barrier had expected of a noble in times of panic. He had some difficulty determining if she was merely asking for information or if she was trying to hide her fear.
“Only a hypothesis at the moment, Swift,” Barrier replied before taking a quick swig. “Speculating wouldn’t help much right now, so I’ll just let you try to take care of things here.”
“Very well, sir,” Swift gave the stallion a salute as they reached the gate. “We’ll meet up with Sergeant Fleetfeather and once Wind Whistler’s secure, we’ll try to aid the town.”
“Good. And kids...” Barrier looked at the group of armed ponies, ready to charge into danger. “Be careful. I can’t handle having to bury any of you.”
“Rest assured, sir,” Swift replied while the others gave Barrier nervous smiles. “We’ll make sure nopony dies here today.”
“Right,” Barrier responded with a sigh before flaring his horn. He vanished in a flash and reappeared a fair distance away. Briefly looking back, he saw the five charging off towards the school.
“Faust be with them all,” Barrier whispered and charged off, not stopping until he skidded to a halt minutes later at the train station. Running up to the ticket booth, Barrier startled the pony inside.
“I need a train to Canterlot, now!” Barrier barked at the stallion that was climbing back into his chair.
“Y-yes sir!” the stallion said with a hard swallow. “We… we’ve got a train headed to Canterlot in two minutes and—”
“Good enough, now just give me a ticket,” Barrier said hurriedly as he tossed a small bag of bits at the window. “Keep the change. This is an emergency.”
The instant the stallion’s hoof touched the ticket, Barrier’s magic snagged it before he ran onto the train.
Taking the closest booth, Barrier slammed the door shut and sat down, finally taking a moment to catch his breath and think.
Crazy candy clouds, popcorn snow, chocolate rain, things like fruit and ribbons coming to life? There’s only one thing I can think of that could be causing all this…
The charcoal unicorn sighed, paying no attention to the train starting to lurch forward. Looking out at the silly sight of cotton candy clouds raining chocolate milk, he knew there was a very dangerous force behind all this.
Discord
Barrier had heard legends speak of the draconequus that had once ruled Equestria in the days before the princesses had bested him and sealed him away in a stone prison. Discord was a strange amalgam of beasts that could bend reality to his whim. Should he choose, two plus two could equal fish and the air could be something one could swim through. He had once considered such a powerful beast merely the tale told by parents to make their foals fall in line, only for that to be shattered when Sombra took him under his wing and taught him many legends of horror were true.
If it’s really Discord we’re fighting, this could potentially be a bigger threat than Nightmare Moon ever was. Barrier gazed out the window, only to decide to look away as he saw the hills had been replaced by mounds of ice cream and what he prayed was strawberry syrup. At least when Luna went crazy, we knew the limits of her power and what her end goal was.
The train shook a bit as it journeyed onward, making Barrier slam his eyes shut.
Forget about the metal death trap, Barrier. You’ve got to think of something. If Discord really did get free and is spreading chaos across the kingdom, you’ve got to have someway to put that freak down.
The question is though, what? Celestia and Luna were able to seal Discord away, but was that because they weren’t willing to kill him… or because they couldn’t?
At any rate, what could stop this reality warping abomination?
The element bearers? … It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to put them in danger once more, especially since they’ve already fought two horrors in less than a season.
The Diamond Ray of Disappearance isn’t an option since Daring and I failed there.
Daring....
Focus, Barrier! If Discord’s not stopped, everyone’s lives will be on the line.
Once Discord’s either dead or back in a rock, then you can think about how to fix your screw-up.
***
Hours had passed as Barrier sat on the train, plotting tactics that could possibly stop a monster who could turn you into a pile of mashed potatoes with a snap of his claws.
So, the best bet would probably be... Barrier was snapped from his thoughts as he felt the train come to stop. A moment later, a voice came through the train’s PA.
“Attention passengers, we’ve reached our final destination. Please depart and have a pleasant day.”
Barrier flared his horn and teleported onto the train platform. He was about to dash away when he saw the city looked completely wrong. Instead of the mountainous city with gaudy buildings and the royal palace, this city had some older looking buildings alongside some skyscrapers along with a large bay.
“What the… where in Tartarus am I?!” Barrier exclaimed as he stomped on the stone of the platform.
“Sir,” a nervous mare in a train operator’s outfit hopped down from the engine and came up to the angry unicorn. “Is there something wrong here?”
“Yes, there certainly is something wrong here,” Barrier growled as he faced the operator, his right eye twitching wildly. “Why aren’t we in Canterlot?”
“Um, sir,” the mare swallowed as she slowly backed away. “The stop in Canterlot was several hours ago. The passengers were told to depart when we arrived, so we moved on to Baltimare.”
“Faust dammit,” Barrier muttered before pulling his flask out and taking a swig. “When’s the next train to Canterlot heading out?”
“Well I think that’ll be—” the mare was interrupted as a flash of light came from the train’s coal car.
In a flash, Barrier had teleported to the station’s roof where he saw all the coal had been turned into cauliflower and a light quickly streaked along the rails, turning the metal tracks into curly fries.
“This is bad…” Barrier whispered as he felt a cold sweat dripping down his neck. “Very bad…”
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Discord's really causing a horrific mess isn't he?
I'm curious to see where this will go.
Bah, they're not in any physical danger. As powerful and dangerous as Discord is, the vast majority of incarnations of him are not out to kill. I think there are two reasons for this: First, I don't think he ever took any of this seriously enough to actually get angry; and second, death is inimical to chaos, it's the ultimate expression of order, so I don't think Discord actually could kill someone unless they threatened his own existence.
10115703
Pretty much, Discord never killed anyone. I'm not sure Barrier can get to Canterlot in time to lend a hood, but I'm sure he'll have plenty of chaos to keep him busy. Heck Discord might show up to tease him and let him know he is in fact going to "Fight" the Elements while Barrier is indisposed.