• Member Since 17th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen 8 minutes ago

darkstone57


"The choices you make and the actions that follow are a reflection of who you are." Autistic, Atheist & Determined.

E

Spike has reached the end of his adolescence and with it, he begins to contemplate what to do next.

Extra Information
- Proofread by Sornos & Dusk Melody

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

I want to like this but Im not sure how

The story has a very nice tone to it and is written pretty well, and you earned a like, although I counted a couple of grammatical errors;

“Tomorrow is new day and new start!”?
"Tomorrow is 'a' new day and a new start!"

You capture the mening of life perfectly.
Dont stay in one place explore expand your views of the world around you meet new friends and just live life.

Woud Love a sequel were Spike is leaving and go's out in the world to make new friends and enemis.

Of course he comes home in the end becus home is were the heart is.

A nice quick read.

8290687
Agreed. This has the opening to a bigger story. You don't have to, but you can.

Nice and simple. Good job!:moustache:

This was an interesting, short read, documenting possible dragon development :pinkiesmile: I can easily imagine Spike would do such a decision.

One thing that caught my eye; when Spike was sitting atop the mountain, you mentioned some directions. For example, Crystal Empire to the south. How do you envision Equestrian geography?

8537830
Thanks. Well from the position Spike was standing, he was facing south. I know the Crystal Empire is to the north and all but I was saying the empire was to his south/behind him. That’s all.

8537871
You’re welcome. I see... I didn’t necessarily see it as a mistake, I was just curious if you hold onto the map of Equestria :twilightsmile:

Um, by the way, I noticed a few typos in the text. Can I send them to you via PM or do you prefer to let the text stay as it is?

8537886
Feel free to point them out here. I don’t mind. Not gonna shoot you for pointing out a mistake, I appreciate the help.

8537898 Okay, I just know that some people don't like it, so better safe than sorry :twilightsheepish:

Spike tapped the gem * his claw tips harshly as he leaned forward

* insert with

the questions of kept swirling in his mind more and more only served to aggravate him

This sentence doesn't really make sense as it contains two different verbs (underlined). Also, questions of what?

“Tomorrow is a new day and a new start!” He declared as he jovially dived bombed down

he It should be lowercase as a part of the dialogue tag, dive bombed

heading for his home so he could get a good nights sleep.

night's

And that's all :pinkiesmile:

8538020
I will do the fixing thing tomorrow when I’m not here in hell, I mean work.

8538020
Thanks by the way.

8538038
8538039

You're welcome and good luck.
Have a nice day without the work bothering you :twilightsmile:

This is a great fic, if this is how all 18 other stories you got is written, I'm excited to see what you got in store for me.

8627113
Thanks. The rest are just meh. Feel free to give an honest opinion about it.

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