Part I: Moon of Remorse || Chapter 3: The First Day (The Guardian)
After breakfast, Sunset was resting in Fluttershy’s bed again. She was finding that she only had the energy to sit up for an hour or two at a time. She was alone for a few minutes, as the rest of the girls were doing something upstairs. She knew Fluttershy would be down to keep her company again soon, and Sunset had to admit that she hoped it would be very soon. Although she wasn’t actively considering killing herself at the moment, one thing was certain: company kept the thoughts at bay – the thoughts she had been avoiding, fearing, dreading since she first felt the cold, hard surface of the crater beneath her body the night before. But now there was nowhere to run.
What have I done?
How can they forgive me?
I should be in jail. Or in Tartarus. Or dead. Why am I still alive? Why am I still here?
They’re going to expel me. They’re going to expel me and I’ll have no one. Alone.
Always alone.
It’s all been a waste…years and years…a waste…
They’d cut me up, if I went to jail here. But it’s what I deserve.
I did it. I really did it. I tried to kill her. Why? WHY? I didn’t want to kill her…
That thing…oh, it hurt. It hurt so much. I didn’t want to become that…thing…
They’re going to hate me. All of them. And there’s nothing I can do…
Nothing I can do. Nothing I can do.
I’m never going home. I’ll never see Equestria again. She’ll come back in 30 moons and destroy me.
I’ve failed you, my Princess. Oh Princess Celestia, I’ve failed you! I’m so sorry. I’m SO SORRY!
You were right, Flash. You were right about me. I’m sorry…
I’m sorry, Twilight. Please forgive me! I didn’t know. I’m so sorry…
I didn’t know there was another way…
What have I done? What have I done?
Her self-beratement was interrupted by a voice from upstairs that filled her with dread. “It’s my understanding that Sunset Shimmer can be found here. Is that true?” Principal Celestia’s voice could be heard from upstairs.
“Yes, she’s here,” Fluttershy’s voice came back. Sunset could not hear anything clearly after that – only low voices in conversation. Oh boy, here it comes. She’s going to expel me, Sunset thought to herself in terror, and then I’m going to jail. After a moment, she heard footsteps on the stairs outside Fluttershy’s room. Fluttershy appeared in her doorway. It did not take her long to figure out that Sunset did NOT want to see the principal. But she would have no choice.
“Sunset? The principal is here to see you. I think you need to talk to her,” said Fluttershy. Principal Celestia appeared next to Fluttershy, towering over her. But to Sunset’s surprise, her face was neither angry nor stern. Instead, Celestia smiled at her slightly.
Sunset swallowed and looked down at her hands.
“Go right in, Ms. Celestia. Just let me know if you need anything,” said Fluttershy.
“Actually, Fluttershy, it might be reassuring to Sunset if you stay. I don’t think we will discuss anything that you shouldn’t hear. You have earned the right to know everything. You and your friends.”
Fluttershy looked uncomfortable, but agreed. She went over to Sunset and sat down on the bed next to her. She was startled when Sunset’s hand suddenly shot out of the covers and grabbed her own, holding it tightly. As far as Sunset was concerned, this was just way too much like facing Celestia’s Equestrian counterpart – something she was far from prepared to do.
With great dignity, Celestia came in to the room. She picked up the chair at Fluttershy’s vanity and put it down next to the bed. She set her purse down on the floor next to her, sat down carefully, folded her hands in her lap, and looked intently at Sunset Shimmer. “Hello, Sunset,” she said quietly.
Sunset quailed under Celestia’s eyes. She started to breathe heavily, her eyes filled with tears, and she bit her lower lip in an attempt to calm herself.
Celestia was stunned, in her turn, by Sunset’s reaction. Thinking Sunset’s abject apologies in the crater the night before had been merely in the heat of the moment, she had expected resistance, bitterness, cynicism, and possibly even open anger. She had not expected Sunset to be terrified. Celestia realized she would have to change her tack. “Please don’t be afraid,” she began very gently. “I don’t mean you any harm – quite the opposite, in fact, though I won’t deny there will be some tough love involved. I can specifically tell you, however, that I am not here to get angry with you, or “chew you out”, or berate you. You are clearly in no condition for such harsh treatment, and such outbursts are not really my style, in any event.”
Sunset’s breathing slowed a little, but she still could not meet her principal’s eyes.
“I am here first of all because I am responsible for the physical safety of the students of Canterlot High. I also try to be a good citizen, so I am concerned about threats to my country and my world as well. So, the first thing I need to know, Sunset, is whether you are a threat to my students or my world. And I expect a truthful answer. In spite of your success over the past two years, you will find that it is…difficult…to deceive me from now on.”
Sunset’s eyes were wide with fear. She tried to speak, but was not able to make a sound. Celestia waited patiently, but did not relent. Fluttershy put her other hand on Sunset’s shoulder and squeezed slightly. Sunset balled up the sheets in her free hand. After a long minute, she was able to bite out, her voice breaking, “Not anymore!”
Celestia nodded. “I see. But you were before?”
“Yes. Yes! But not as a…specific goal. I only wanted to escape back to…my world…but I would have…when I turned into that…thing…done whatever I needed to anyone in my way!” she finished, and this time she burst into tears and wept bitterly. Celestia’s eyes widened. Sunset continued vehemently, but her voice was filled with remorse, “I didn’t intend to hurt or kill anyone, but once I turned into that thing…I’d have done anything, anything to get my way. I can’t believe it! I never contemplated killing anyone at the beginning, but that’s what I would have done! I can’t bear it! I can’t bear it!”
Fluttershy had turned white.
Sunset looked up at Celestia at last. “Don’t you see? I’m…I'm a...murderer. A murderer! What do I do now? How can I go on? How do I face this? I’m lost…lost!”
Fluttershy looked at Celestia in horror. She had not yet put herself, understandably, in Sunset’s shoes and imagined what she was wrestling with. This was worse than she had ever dreamed. What would Celestia do?
Celestia looked at Sunset with an almost unreadable expression. But Fluttershy thought she perceived there a very deep sadness, coupled with a very strong sense of compassion.
“You did not actually kill anyone, Sunset,” Celestia pointed out very quietly.
“That doesn’t matter!” Sunset practically yelled. “I tried to! Do you think I was holding back when I attacked Twilight? It amounts to the same thing! The same thing!” She continued to weep, putting her face in her hands.
To Fluttershy’s surprise, she saw the ghost of a smile briefly cross Celestia’s face. It seemed so incongruous with what was going on that Fluttershy wondered at it.
Now Sunset was crying harder and with more sorrow that Fluttershy had yet seen, which was saying something. The word despair came to mind. But Celestia didn’t let it go on for long.
“Sunset, Sunset, don’t you see?” Celestia put her hand on Sunset’s head and stroked her hair. “It sounds to me like you have already taken the hardest step.”
This got Sunset’s attention. She looked up at Celestia, though her tears did not stop.
“Regret. Remorse. You are sorry for your actions, and for what you attempted to do. You grasp the implications and the possible consequences of what you tried to do. Don’t you wish you could undo what happened last night?” Now Fluttershy began to understand why Celestia had smiled.
“Yes! YES! But I can’t!” Sunset wailed.
“You cannot. You cannot take it back, and you cannot undo it. And so, your only choice, if you wish to take any steps forward in your life, is to accept that Twilight has clearly forgiven you.”
“But I don’t deserve it! I deserve death! Don’t you understand? I tried to kill a princess! A princess! The penalty for such a thing, even in Equestria, is death!”
Celestia nodded knowingly. “As I suspected. But Twilight spared you, didn’t she?”
Sunset stopped crying suddenly and stared at Celestia. Finally, Celestia had her full attention.
“I don’t know much about your world, Sunset, but if it is ruled by royalty, as our world once was, I suspect that Twilight would have been within her authority to carry out such punishment personally, and quite possibly summarily. Am I right?”
Sunset just stared at Celestia for a few seconds, her eyes wide. She had not considered this. She thought for a moment, and then said, a little more calmly: “Yes, principal. You’re right. She could have been judge, jury, and…executioner.” Her eyes were very wide.
“But instead of executing you, or even binding you and bringing you back to…Equestria…to face justice there, she released you.”
Sunset could only stare.
“And she did far more than that. She reached down and pulled you out of that crater. Then she took your hand in her own, and put it into the hands of her friends. There can be only one conclusion.”
Still silence.
“She personally forgave you. She officially pardoned you. And she looked for and even anticipated your redemption,” Celestia finished, inclining her head.
Sunset’s mouth was open slightly. “Re…redemption?”
“Yes.”
Sunset closed her mouth and swallowed, shaking her head. “I don’t understand.”
“Indeed, there is clearly more learning to be done, but I think the most important lessons have already been given.”
“But I don’t deserve it. I deserve the opposite.” Sunset pressed.
“That is true. You will find, however, that that is the very definition of forgiveness. It is by definition not rewarding an evil deed with the punishment it deserves. But, as I said, Twilight Sparkle has gone farther than merely forgiving you. She has shown you grace, which is favor that is not deserved. She has chosen to treat you in this way because she desires that you live and be healed. Clearly, it would bring her no joy to kill or even punish you.”
There was almost a full minute of silence as Sunset looked into Celestia’s eyes. Then, finally, she asked in a very tiny voice, “Are you saying there’s…there’s hope for me?”
Though the terribly vulnerable honesty of Sunset’s plea was nearly heartbreaking, this time Celestia really did smile. It was a smile that was full of a quiet joy. “Yes, Sunset. There is hope for you,” she answered simply. Sunset’s face went through several expressions, and then she buried her face in the sheets and wept again. But this time, the tears were tears of a deep desire that has been given a whisper of hope of fulfillment. After a while she was able to stop crying, but she did not look up.
Celestia continued. “Sunset, there are a few other matters that I must address with you today.”
She pulled her face out of her sheets and turned her red, sorrowful eyes to the principal.
Celestia actually sighed slightly. She was not looking forward to the next few questions. “Sunset, I must know where you live.”
Sunset’s eyes instantly fell. It was several seconds before she was able to respond. Celestia waited patiently, but, as before, unrelentingly. Finally, Sunset gave her an address in the same tiny voice and looked at the floor. Fluttershy watched as Celestia typed the address into her smartphone and assessed the results. She nodded knowingly and her eyes flicked back to Sunset. “Would it be safe to assume that your residence at this location is not entirely…legal?”
Sunset swallowed again, and then simply nodded.
“Hmm. Well. This simply will not do, as you have probably guessed.”
Sunset nodded again, still looking at the floor.
“I am going to tell you where you are going to live from now on. And there will be no discussion or objection. Is that clear?” asked Celestia firmly.
Sunset looked back up at Celestia, but Celestia did not move. “Yes, ma’am,” Sunset whispered.
“Very well, then. Until you graduate, you will live with me and my sister.”
Sunset went white.
“All right, come now, Sunset. It can’t be as bad as you think. Unlike where you are living now, you will have clean water, climate control, good food, and a soft bed. There will be some rules, of course, but not that many. Since I arrived here, have I yelled at you? Been harsh or unkind? No. So, please don’t be afraid. Whether you understand it yet or not, you need to be taken care of, and I am actually looking forward to doing that, and doing it well.”
Sunset did not seem reassured.
“Perhaps you are concerned about the presence of my sister, who is also in charge of discipline at school? Then let me reassure you. And, Fluttershy, this next part must be kept strictly between the three of us, do you understand?”
Fluttershy nodded wordlessly. The thought of betraying the principal’s confidence would never have entered her mind.
Celestia leaned a little closer to Sunset and her face became even kinder. She put her hand over Sunset’s, and cocked her neck a little. “You may find that you and my sister have more in common than you think. Her own journey has not been as smooth as her current persona and responsible position might have led you to believe.”
“Re…really?” Sunset squeaked, slightly relieved.
“Really,” Celestia responded. “So try not to be afraid. As I have made very clear, neither she nor I wish to harm you. Quite the opposite. Now, the next question.”
Sunset took a deep breath.
“Are there any law enforcement concerns of which I should be aware?”
Sunset’s eyes widened. “I’m…not sure what you mean.”
“Arrest warrants, crimes that you are being sought for, that sort of thing. In short, are the police looking for you?”
Sunset shook her head no, vehemently. Celestia seemed slightly surprised, and said so.
“It seemed wisest to avoid the attention of law enforcement,” Sunset explained.
“I can understand why. Very well. What about your motorcycle license? And is your motorcycle properly registered?”
Sunset sighed. It took a few moments for her to answer these questions. “I do have a license. And the motorcycle is registered. But…it is possible that the information I gave the DMV to get the papers…is not entirely correct…”
Celestia nodded knowingly again. “Then I am afraid it will be impossible for you to ride the motorcycle again until we figure that situation out.”
Sunset’s face fell. “But…but…there’s no way for me to ever fill out the paperwork honestly! I’m not even from this universe!”
“I have given some thought to that, which brings me to the next question. And this question is one question where I will actually give you a true choice. I can certainly tell you which choice I prefer, and choosing unwisely will have consequences, but I will not force you to do what I am about to ask.”
Sunset swallowed and waited for the inevitable bombshell.
“It seems best to me that you continue your education and identity as a high school student for now.” Sunset gasped. She wasn’t being expelled after all. Celestia continued. “For one thing, if you decide to remain in this world, a high school diploma will be useful. Also, keeping things as they are will avoid questions that are difficult to answer. But, in order to do this, it will be necessary for you to have…a guardian.”
Sunset’s eyes grew wide as saucers as she grasped the implications of what Celestia had just said.
“Yes. I would like to be your legally appointed guardian. In fact I would consider it an honor. We will have to masquerade a bit, of course. For one thing I suspect you are older than most of the other students, and therefore technically an adult. Am I correct?”
Sunset just stared. “I must have an answer, Sunset,” Celestia pressed. “How old are you?”
Sunset’s tears began again. “I’m…I’m 19,” she whimpered.
“As I surmised. So, I understand fully what I am asking you to do. I am asking you to surrender some of your freedom and autonomy for a short time. And that is why I will not force you. I am not interested in making you a prisoner or subjugating you, but this measure is necessary both to continue the illusion that you are a normal, if not yet well-adjusted, high school student, and for your own good. You need TLC, Sunset, as I have said and as you have tacitly admitted. You need someone to care for you, worry about you, and yes, discipline you. I ask you to trust me on this, but as I have said I will not force you. On the other hand, if you refuse, I will be unable to do nearly as much to help you, and sooner or later, certain authorities will start asking certain questions. My ability to shield you from their inquiries will be limited.”
Sunset was breathing hard. This was by far the hardest question. But as before, she found herself unable to resist significantly or for very long. It was as though the Elements, or Twilight herself, had somehow imposed terms of surrender on her. So, while Celestia might have been giving her a choice, the Elements would not permit her to refuse. But she fought for a few moments anyway. Giving up her freedom was not something she had contemplated – not so starkly, legally, and officially as Celestia wanted. She felt powerless and helpless, and that was what she was – here were the true consequences of her deeds.
Her face went through several expressions: disbelief, fear, frustration, pleading, and finally sorrow and surrender. “Whatever you want,” she wept. “I give up! I have nothing left. Nothing.” She collapsed back against the pillow, exhausted.
Celestia let her rest for a moment, and as her breathing slowed, Celestia reached out and gently stroked her hair again. So gentle, so warm was that touch that Sunset involuntarily leaned into it. Her crying ceased and her breathing slowed to normal. She opened her eyes and looked up at her soon-to-be guardian.
Celestia perceived how truly defenseless she was. It was time for a little encouragement. She gave Sunset a small smile. “You have chosen well, and you will not regret it, though you may not yet believe that,” Celestia said softly. “And I don’t agree that you have nothing. You now have me, and my sister, and your friends. Yes, friends. You will learn what that means. We will even find, together, that there are things from your former life that can be salvaged. No one is wholly evil, Sunset, not even you. And no one is going to ask you to become someone you cannot be. You are allowed to have a personality of your own. Together, we will learn who the real Sunset Shimmer is.” Fluttershy was quietly sniffling. She was moved by the beauty and truth of Celestia’s words, and how kind Celestia was. Celestia winked at her, smiling broadly.
Sunset tried to absorb Celestia’s words. After a while, she managed a question. “But I don’t understand,” she rasped. “Won’t this require paperwork? How will we answer the questions?”
“I have an arrangement with the local magistrate,” Celestia said simply. “He understands that, occasionally, situations arise which the law did not anticipate. The paperwork will not be a problem.” Celestia breezed along. “So, here is what is going to happen. You are going to rest for a bit, while some of your friends and I go to your…residence…and obtain your possessions. Then, you and I will go to the magistrate for the necessary paperwork. Next, we will go to an urgent care center and we will have your knee looked at. I’m concerned about the limping. I’m sure Twilight didn’t mean to truly injure you, but you did fall from quite a height. Finally, we will go to my townhouse and you will settle in. Does that sound all right? I know it’s a lot, but I promise we will not exhaust you further – we will help you every step of the way.”
Sunset could only nod weakly.
“Good. Rest now. And here’s a surprise for you – a bit of praise! You have answered my questions honestly and in good faith, even though you are terribly tired, in pain, and frightened. I am very pleased.” A single tear escaped from the corner of Sunset’s eye. Celestia turned to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, I think you could use a break. Stay here with Sunset for a little longer. I will see if Rarity can relieve you. It’s best for Sunset not to be alone just yet.”
“Alright, Ms. Celestia.” Fluttershy was drying her own tears. Celestia rose, retrieving her purse. She put Fluttershy’s chair back, smiled affectionately at Sunset, and went back upstairs.
Next to Fluttershy, Sunset’s eyes were drooping. “Go ahead and sleep, Sunset. You need it,” said Fluttershy gently. Sunset did not argue. Within seconds, she was fast asleep. It was not long before Rarity came into the room.
“Go on up, Fluttershy. I’ll sit with her,” she said. Fluttershy got off the bed carefully, trying not to wake Sunset. To her surprise, Rarity sat down on the bed in the same place she had been in, moving with equal care.
“Thanks Rarity. I know she’d thank you too, if she was awake.” Rarity only smiled and pulled out her smartphone.
Fluttershy slowly climbed the stairs up to her family room. Principal Celestia was sitting on the easy chair. Rainbow was pacing, and Applejack and Pinkie Pie were sitting on the couch. They scooted over to make room for Fluttershy, who sat down and looked at the principal. It was clear they had been waiting for her. She began.
“Girls, first let me say how proud I am of you, and how impressed. Sunset has been unkind, even cruel to each of you, culminating last night in her attempt to harm or kill you while she was trying to do the same to Twilight. I’m not sure you have all grasped what you did. In military circles, throwing yourself on someone to protect them from an attack is considered extremely heroic. I believe the technical term is ‘valorous’.”
The girls looked at each other with wide eyes. “How could we do anything else?” Applejack asked.
“How indeed? Suffice it to say that there are those who certainly would have done something else, such as run for cover or just drop to the ground where they stood. In any event, that is not where your heroism stopped. Following Twilight’s own example, you have reached out to your enemy in friendship, and you have gone far, far out of your way to support her physical safety and emotional well-being, even when she had alienated all others and was left totally alone. I cannot express my admiration adequately, and, though I know you did not do these things for recognition, I will ensure that you are recognized for your service to your school.”
Rainbow rejoiced. “All right!”
Pinkie Pie leapt from the couch, “Award party, award party!” she exulted.
Fluttershy and Applejack just blushed modestly.
Celestia smiled at them fondly and chuckled. She continued. “There are a few things we need to discuss. First, you are not yet fully-fledged adults. Therefore, I am still responsible for considering your own well-being. I cannot allow you to exhaust yourselves in caring for Sunset. You have earned the right to do much for her, but not at the cost of your own studies and rest. This is part of why I will be taking Sunset in. That being said, you are all free to visit her as often as you like, for as long as you like. In fact, I encourage it. Even overnight or in the middle of the night, as long as your own parents approve and as long as I feel you are not becoming overtired. I’m not joking about this. I will get up in the middle of the night to let you in if she needs you.”
The girls looked at her in amazement.
Celestia felt the need to explain further. “I’m sure it cannot be lost on any of you that something very special has taken place. I don’t mean to frighten you, but it seems to me that your fates, or destinies, maybe, are bound up with each others’, and with Sunset’s too. I have to allow for that. I won’t keep you from her, or her from you, unless, as I said, it is a matter of exhaustion or grades. And you will each have a crucial, special, wonderful role in her redemption that she will grow to treasure for the rest of her life. And you may grow to treasure it as well.”
Fluttershy addressed that. “Ms. Celestia, I think it’s safe to say that we’re already noticing that.” Her friends nodded in agreement.
Celestia smiled again. “Good! Good. Your compassion for her is a precious thing, not to be denied or restricted – certainly not by me. Now, we need to go to Sunset’s…home and get her things. I could use a hand – would any of you be willing to come too?”
Applejack, Rainbow, and Pinkie all raised their hands.
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( raises an eyebrow)
Seriously?
I have to say that I am really enjoying this story so far!
This is a great story so far. And I would love to read a story from Celestia's POV regarding her arrival at Fluttershy's house.
Haven’t even read past the 4th chapter and I’m already giving this a thumbs up and favorite. 3 chapters in and it one of the best Sunset redemption stories I have ever read.
enjoying this so far thoe was not a fan of the twilight shilling about her ability to forgive whens he is honeslty horrid at forgiveness (see her treatment of discord trixie stralight and even sunset she did not trust in rainbow rocks right away)
I was worried in the description that we might jump straight to adoption, but we didn't. Phew. Looks like we're gonna be building towards that point.
Coming in late, but it's great so far. Only thing is your time lines just make no sense. And I looked around for your notes about ages and time lines with no luck finding them. So if I read the story right so far. Sunset has ONLY been there for 2.5 years, and Sunset abandoned her life as Celestia's student "not long before Twilight began." And cause Twilight was CMC age, or younger... so 10-12 being generous, when she got her cutie mark and began her studies, and adding 2.5 years or so. So Twilight has completed all of Celestia's lessons and became her equal as a princess at the age of 12 to 14? Not to mention someone that age would be a jr high student, not someone about ready to start junior year.
9406957
So the reality is that the writers probably created a situation that can't be solved in a completely satisfactory way. They did not anticipate that Equestria Girls would become at all popular, and certainly did not expect Sunset to become a breakout character -- it was only the in the final rewrite of Rainbow Rocks that she emerged as the hero. I'd say they never expected timeline scrutiny. So, in this story (once you've read it you'll see) I attempt to make sense of the timelines, but I realize that some of my suggestions are flimsy. Without giving away spoilers, I'd say Sunset and Twilight did overlap as Celestia's students, and aren't that far apart in age, and it was because neither of them valued relationships or friendship (though in different ways) at that time that they hardly knew each other. By the way, this could all be fixed by a retcon where, in the first movie, Twilight recognizes Sunset when she steals her crown. I am finally getting around to posting a timeline on my blog soon.
9406957
Considering that Celestia is over 1000 years old in Equestria but only in her 30s in the human world, it's possible that time moves differently in the two worlds.
Thank you! Oh, I am so happy to find someone else who understands. I sort of got into a theological discussion with someone about the nature of forgiveness earlier this week. This person was of the opinion that forgiveness should be earned and worked for while I countered that forgiveness is something that is given out of grace. In the end, we agreed to disagree.
9592324
i agree i personally find it incredibly difficult to not forgive people. no matter how much it hurt me. i don't know why.
Just found this story. I must say it is quite enjoyable. I like how you're focusing heavily on the characters and interaction rather than pushing for the next action. It makes a nice change from a lot of other stories.
This chapter though, that was brutal. Principal Celestia is really ruthless here. Well intentioned, but still.
This story seems to be one of the most accurate in depicting the group as like in the show this group is very forgiving, a really good story so far.
Well looks like sunset is in good hands with celestial and the girls wanting to help her.
I personally don't think she's 19 at least not physically in this world, I've always had cannon that when you come to this world you become physically and mentally the age of your counterpart in this world as well as their species, so I would say in this world she's around 17 18 but that's supposedly just me, I don't personally thinks she's that young and Equestria, I'm pretty sure she's the same age as the main six and I always thought the main six were like in there early twenties but I guess so really is no can an age for anyone