• Published 13th Aug 2017
  • 463 Views, 22 Comments

Lily Valley Turns Into a Truck - Super Trampoline



Lily Valley really wants some Chineighs food, but not the crappy vegetarian stuff they serve in Canterlot. She wants some of that sweet & sour & just the right hint of spicy Orange 🍗. So naturally, she turns into a truck. Donn DeVore guest stars.

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Okay, Now I'm ACTUALLY a Truck

BOOM! She was a truck, in the Human world! In one of the industrial lots in northern Artesia. Like maybe along the Artesia road itself north of the Five freeway right on the border of Orange and LA County where the 5 transitions from having a bunch of lanes on the OC side and having a bunch of construction on the LA side. She was a truck because she was a robot, and those mirror portal things always make for weird transitions. Like, what would happen if a hippogryph went through the mirror portal? We'll never know because hippogryphs don't actually exist. But rather than look like a Transformer in a crappy Michael Bay movie that critics panned but still did excellently at the box office, especially in the foreign market (big action explosion movies lose less in translation than a small scale dramatic period piece, and thus tend to do really well in markets like China.)

Anyway, she didn't look like that. For though she had a truck body, she also had pink pony legs in place of wheels, and a face seemlessly plastered onto or perhaps in place of the front of the cab. What a queer sight. What a fantastical chimera of pony and machine!

Lilly landed with a bang and the ground shock beneath the weight of the truck pony. Ten tons of fleshshe's a robot remember. Ten tons of gears and pistons and servos and steel.

Being a more modern robot pony truck, Lily had internal GPS, and like a homing pigeon, after a few seconds of searching the internet which was seemlessly integrated into her mind like a transhumanist's wet dream, knew exactly where Twin Panda Bowls was. Thus having her destination at hoof, she sprang into action, galloping down one of those roads that is really wide but only has two lanes so that trucks can make their wide turns into warehouse lots and the like. She screeched to a stop at a stop sign, knowing what it was intuitively through her web-integrated mind despite never previously having seen one before. But I mean, let's be honest, it's a fucking stop sign; it's pretty self-explanatory. However, a regular horse might not know that this stop sign is not a permanent injunction, but rather a merely temporary impedance.

Click clack pound pound!, her large mechanical fore and aft legs pounding in graceful gallops down the street. Drivers sat there mouths agape, some peeing themselves in terror. A giant fucking truck pony was kind of slightly gracefully bounding down the street. People were starting to freak out and crash and get out of their cars and other things not conducive to the flow of traffic. But then Lily valley remembered this was all imaginary and so she imagined all the traffic flowing at the perfect speed and density and she bounded and I'm using that word a lot and bounded down the five freeway and it was really fucking majestic like look I'm going to just crib from Miazaki here. It looked like this, except as a pony truck instead of a cat bus:

...

Okay Studio Ghibli must be real copyright hardasses because I can't find the catbus on youtube. So here's a link to the great My Neighbor Totoro catbus scene on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/15166847

Anyway, She bounded (fuck I got to stop using that word) down the freeway to Garden Grove for about twenty minutes and then she got there and got off at Harbor Boulivard and turned into the strip mall parking lot. and she had Chinese food and it was delicious, the End!

Author's Note:

Comments ( 22 )

After a certain point in time, i think there will be a new tag created: "Supertrampoline." It'll be used for when the "random" tag simply doesn't describe the sheer lunacy inherent in a written work.

has low prices

Did you mean low low prices?

Some bomb ass weed was smoked to make this. Loved it lol

8362543
I might have started it while high; I can't remember, but now I'm just high on my ADHD meds and some Dr. Pepper. But the story I published a week or two ago called "Rarity Listens to Redbone" actually was written while pretty high on edibles. I don't smoke because I don't like smoke in my lungs.

...ah, it's a story made by Super Trampoline. Makes sense now. :rainbowlaugh:

8362577

high on...some Dr. Pepper.

I can't articulate why, but this sounds like it could be a hell of a title for a pop-punk song.

"So fuck it let's get turned up / on commercials and shots
Shoot up caffeine and sugar / and piss away our thoughts
And hell if your two whoppers don't remind me of your tits,
So I don't give two shits / if you don't give two shits / i guess that this shoe fits."
*self indulgent guitar solo*

At first I thought, "there's random, then there's emoji-movie-wtf," then I noted the author. :rainbowwild:

8363257
Why are you writing pony words you should be writing pop punk songs.

What in God's name did I just read?

8362775
Huh. I did not know there was a Safe version of that pic. :rainbowderp:

8363723
1. I can't guitar,
2. I couldn't stop ripping off Bad Religion, NOFX, or Sum 41 if i tried.

8364110 wait, there's a NSFW version of the pic?

>Chineighs

pls stop this meme. pls stop and do not ever again. pls.

Also hippogryphs are canon now. Do you not read the official novels?

8366648
I'm sorry it's just such an easily-punable name. And I did not know that.

This is my clop, the best clop out there, makes me wanna get high on orange soda from mcdonalds and sniff some crispy bois

So, i guess I know where to get lunch for you.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

People were starting to freak out and crash and get out of their cars and other things not conducive to the flow of traffic.

People dare pan your writing when you create gems like this.

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