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This suit is... surprisingly comfortable2,011 words
So... it's more literal than I expected1,530 words

So... it's more literal than I expected

I opened my door to be greeted NOT by the princesses I was expecting, but by a couple of younger mares, with similar coats of a pale blue-ish purple, one with a light green mane, the other with a two-tone blue and white, and cutie marks of fireflies and a shooting star.
"Can I help you?"

After a brief glance at each other, Cloudchaser answered, "We're looking for our colt-friend." "And his brother," Flitter added.

After taking a few seconds to stare at them in awkward silence, I stepped aside and gestured for them to come inside, which they did after only the briefest moment of hesitation, Cloudchaser hoping through the door with a small smile upon seeing the unused controller beside Thunderlane, and Flitter with a faint sigh at her sister, both having a cup of their favourite hot drink appearing beside them as they sat down.

After watching them for a few seconds, I said, "Excuse me a second," and started down my hallway, intending to get my movies folder from my bedroom.
I barely made it three steps before I was consumed by a thick fog, startling me into stopping.
Less than a second later, he stepped out of the fog. Sheogorath himself.

"Greetings and salutations! I hope you're a fan of mine, otherwise, you'll need me to introduce yourself to us!" he exclaimed with open arms.
Stunned, I was barely able to say, "I know who you are."
"Great! it's always such fun when a mortal knows who they're dealing with. Although," he paused to stroke his beard. "I supposed it would be more accurate to call you a FORMER mortal, wouldn't it?"
My mind raced a thousand kilometres an hour. "I'm sorry, what?"
He looked me dead in the eye, and told me with a terrifyingly serious voice, "It's not like I made you take on such an appearance, gave you incomprehensible powers and a glorious beard for no reason, now is it?"
I started moving my mouth, but no words came out, and he continued, turning away from me, and gesticulating wildly as he once more took on his typical, joking demeanour. "I don't know who you were before, and frankly, I don't care either. For all intent and purposes, that person is now dead. Deceased! Shuffled from the mortal coil into... who cares where?"
Pivoting on the spot, he pointed at me. "YOU! You are now Sheogorath. Me. The Mad God. At least, of a sort."

Coming to my senses, I said, "I'm still not quite following you," to which his response was to drop a quote from Elder Scrolls V.

"It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years."

"That honestly makes more sense than it has any right or reason to," I felt my mouth say as I waited for my brain to catch up and properly process this information. A few seconds later it finished rebooting.
"So what happens now?"

He stroked our glorious beard in a contemplative manner. "Now? Now you return to whichever little reality it is you ended up in. It's yours. And by 'yours', I mean 'mine', by which I mean 'ours'."
Sitting on a chair... throne... toilet... amalgam, he continued, "The Shivering Isles are mine. Mine ALONE. But I recently felt compelled to expand my influence. But I can't do so myself and keep my home the way I like it at the same time. Thus, you. Wherever it is you ended up, that's your place of influence. The range and limitations of your influence and power, however, will be far more amusing for me to see you discover for yourself. Your own little Plain of Oblivion, outside of the Plains of Oblivion!"
And with one final sinister grin, he said, "Have fun now," before it all faded away.

The fog around me lifted soon after, and I was once again in my hallway. After spending a few moments readjusting, I headed into my bedroom, like I had originally intended and grabbed my folder full of DVDs, ignored the Wabbajack that was in my bed, tucked in like a child, and returned to the small, colourful equines playing video-games in my living room.

With Cloudchaser having laid claim to the fourth controller, I sat down beside Flitter, content to simply sit back and watch the others play the insane kart-racer, and asked, "So, Flitter, was it?"
A confused and slightly suspicious frown crossed her features and she nodded slowly.
"Would you be so kind as to tell me a bit about this here town I seem to have found myself in?"
The frown eased and she started telling me of some of the happenings around Ponyville, which I can safely estimate as being in Season One of the show, because the latest thing she described was about a certain 'Great and Powerful' show-pony that was very recently chased out of town after her show lead to the town imbeciles bringing a giant starry bear into town.

Of course, the pleasantries couldn't last forever. As soons she finished recounting recent events, there was a knocking at the front door.

Walking over, I willed a couple of doughnuts to appear in my hand and opened it up to see the Princesses and a squad of guards.

Seeing them, I couldn't help but grin, before channeling my inner Youtube fan and exclaiming at the top of my voice, "DING, DING, DING, DING, DING! TOP OF MORINING!", clearly taking all of them by surprise.

I stood there, grinning like a Cheshire Cat, while I waited for their brains to register my greeting, but as soon as they did, Celestia narrowed her eyes and, in a serious tone, asked, "Discord?"

Despite knowing exactly what she was referring to, I responded, "Entropy."

To this, Luna cocked her head sideways and asked, "Your name is Entropy?"

"No."

As the best princess's face adorably scrunched up in confusion, Celestia's patience ran thin and she stepped forward, almost shouting, "Enough games, Discord!"

Straightening up, I calmly looked at her and said, "I don't know who this 'Discord' is, but she sounds like a classy lady," stroking my beard all the while, the doughnut from that hand floating an inch away, until I quickly snatched it back.

Finally losing her temper, Celestia used her magic to summon a weapon, a Morning Star of all things, and swung with all the force she muster, and upon contact wih my face, the spiked head exploded into blinding light and intense, concentrated heat.

She let the slightest smile show as I let out a scream.
Not that it hurt in the slightest.
No, my scream was because one of the spikes and somehow gone up my nostril, and now I needed to sneeze, but couldn't with the piece of metal attempting to compromise my sinuses one booger at a time.

Grabbing Celestia's weapon, I shoved it, and her away from me, sending her sprawling on her back and freeing my face to sneeze, and when I did a Pine Marten, fully kitted out in Police SWAT Gear appeared in a cloud of smoke, before quickly standing upright, saluting me and scurrying off to ... Assault a certain demon bunny? Eat a squirrel? I don't know.

Looking at Luna, she was trying her hardest to not grin at the sight of the tiny mammal.
Clearing my throat, I drew her attention back to me.

"The name's Sheogorath, love. Freshly titled Daedrc Prince of Madness, cheese connoisseur and probably some other titles. Delighted to make your acquaintance. Have a Custard Ball," I told her in a bright tone of voice, offering the doughnut in my right hand, which she accepted with a modicum of caution.

"Luna. Princess of the Night, Guardian of Dreams and younger sister to Celestia," she offered in turn before slowly biting into her pastry, seemingly unaware that half of its contents were squishing out the opposite side, pausing for just a moment in surprise at the sweet taste and taking another bite before smiling brightly with stuffed cheeks.

It was at this point that Celestia began to sit up with a groan.

Once she had all four hooves under her, I stepped over and calmly told her, "You don't see me coming up to your place and greet you with an attempt to deviate your nasal septim, now do you?"

As she looked at me with a worried and confused expression, I skewered the remaining doughnut on her horn, watching the jam filling slowly run down along the spiral groove, before adding, "Learn some manners. Have a nice day."

Returning to Luna's side, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
"It has been an absolute delight to meet you, your highness. Please visit any time."

With that, I turned and stepped back into my house, pretending to not notice the blush on Luna's cheeks, as my guests completely ignored their game, having their attention solely on the exchange that just occurred.

Closing my front door, I turned to them and exclaimed with a grin, "well, I'm starved, who wants jambalaya?"

...

I wasn't expecting Rumble and Thunderlane to raise their hooves.

Author's Note:

Here it is, at long last!

I'm ashamed of how long it took to get it going again, but that's the case when the first chapter was written while half-delusional from illness.

Thank you all for your patience, and I do hope you will stick with me in this.

The adventures of Sam the Marten will continue throughout this fic, either as mini-chapter interludes or in the Author's Notes. Sam has no set gender at the moment, and will remain neutral until such a time as I decide it would be conducive to their story. Or funny.

I'm sorry it took so long.

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LEGION55

LEGION55 #1 · Jan 22nd, 2020 · 7 · ·

"well, I'm starved, who wants jambalaya?"

I know where this is from!!!!!Also YEY!!!!!

Greatazuredragon

Greatazuredragon #2 · Jan 22nd, 2020 · 5 · ·

"It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years."
"That honestly makes more sense than it has any right or reason to,"

Closing my front door, I turned to them and exclaimed with a grin, "well, I'm starved, who wants jambalaya?"

i.pinimg.com/originals/fb/4e/10/fb4e1004bd9bbc1f8a1211847b4b1d53.jpg

Also, who else had no idea what a jambalaya was before watching Hazbin Hotel?

This isn’t the Shivering Isles... What happened? - rikusorasephiroth

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Previous Chapters
Close
This suit is... surprisingly comfortable2,011 words
So... it's more literal than I expected1,530 words

So... it's more literal than I expected

Also Liked Similar Author