Consumed by chaos
The stars shone brightly in the night sky to make up for the new moon's dark form. However, no matter how tightly the shadows cloaked Canterlot, the capital city still gleamed brightly. Scattered windows glowed with the flicker of candlelight from ponies still awake, but those slowly blinked out as the night progressed. Princess Luna watched from the observation balcony as her night grew longer. Something was not right; something was out of place. Narrowing her eyes, she scanned the stars. There, that was it. With her horn glowing as bright as the stars about her, Luna shifted three of the lights over to the right slightly and rearranged them to fit in their new position. "Much better," she thought to herself. The night of the new moon was her chance to give the stars a tidy up, to make sure none had strayed too far off course, as well as to try out a couple of new arrangements. Unfortunately, changes meant she had to deal with the backlash from the astrological sociality. Those dusty old ponies seem to think that the stars should remain in the same configuration every night, simply because that was how they had been left when she had...when it was how they had been for such a long time.
"Let them moan," thought Luna with a smile, as she shifted the stars that had been called Orion for much too long. This was her sky until the morrow, and she would craft it as she saw fit.
As the dark one played with light, the light one sought out the darkness, and only in the royal gardens did true darkness live. No lights lit the way for the pale Princess as she walked through the greenery that was now nothing more then darker shapes within the night. Grey forms, just a shade darker then her own hide in this light, stood out sharply against the night sky, blocking out her sister's stars. Celestia noticed a few of her sister's children had shifted, so stopped to admire the view the position granted her. With no lights to compete with, the sky was truly at its most magnificent. As much as Luna might envy all the colours and light of her own day and Sun brought with them, Celestia envied the artistic flare that she herself would never be able to compare with.
Practised steps lead the eldest of the two ruling sisters to the one statue in the garden that did not hold the form of a pony and the only statue that was more then just stone. Discord. Even his form was chaotic and had no rhyme nor reason to it - simply different parts of animals stitched together with no effort to blend them, no attempt to harmonise them. The garden lay still all around Celestia; nopony had seen her enter the sanctuary and none saw her lower herself to lay beneath the spirit of everything she tried to fight against. Closing her eyes, she exhaled and let her mind drift as her body remained as still as the statue above her.
"Another new moon. You know it gets boring when you are so predictable." The male voice snatched at the wisp of thoughts and drew her in close, just as a fisherman would draw in his net. "Tell you what," Discord said, clapping his mismatched hands together. "Let's play in your mind this time, instead. I am sorry to say I have just not had time to clean up - the place is simply a mess at the moment." To emphasise the fact, the Draconequus clicked his fingers, and was now wearing a black and white, laced French maid's outfit - complete with an ostrich feather duster which he used to 'dust' the top of the swirling green and teal, pink and purple mass - the only issue being that the duster was piling dust onto the wisp, rather than off. Slowly, the coloured light moved and formed the shape of a white horse, though the spectral colours remained around her edges, as well as forming her more recognizable mane and tail. Celestia shot Discord a glare as she shook the dust off herself, to which Discord blushed with a single eagle claw at his lips.
"And you are getting predictable with that request, Discord." Aside from the spectral haze, Celestia looked more or less like herself. Her horn and wings, however, were missing.
"Moi - predictable?" Now losing the maid outfit, Discord was doing a back stroke in mid-air alongside Celestia. She walked through a field of orange and green polka dots that made fart noises with every step. "Such insults! Here I am offering my help night after night and what thanks do I get?" The drama queen dabbed at his eyes with a cooked chicken wing, while Celestia carried on walking, granting him barely a glance as she went.
"I can leave, if that is what you wish." Celestia now found herself walking up a flight of stairs, they curved round so she was eventually upside down - or maybe the pink sky had decided to try being the ground for a change.
"Oh, that's okay. I forgive you!" Discord's tone flipped once again to a friendly, happy note as he threw the chicken wing over his shoulder. It swam away into a cloud of green feathers. "You know, you could ask Luna to join us on our walks one night. I am sure she could spare time from her busy schedule; you certainly find time to visit your little pony friends." Celestia bit back a reply. "And, she is far less of a stick-in-the-mud then you are. Speaking of which..." Discord grabbed a long thick stick that was upright in a pile of purple mud. "Would you like one milady?" he asked, while floating past the mare's face, brandishing the stick as one would a bottle of wine.
"Not tonight, thank you." Celestia waved the Spirit away from her face as she stopped for a moment, looking at the large gap that now lay ahead of her, since the stairs had decided to stop. She had given up trying to work out if she was upside down, and instead decided to just think of her as self right side up.
"Suit yourself. I happen to know that this is an excellent brand of A-sharp" Discord took hold of a handful of the floating, multi-hued mane, and held it at one end of the stick while he puffed away at the other.
"You know you are completely mad, don't you?" Celestia stood and watched the Draconequus blow multicoloured musical notes out of his ears as he enjoyed his 'stick'.
"If I'm mad then what does that make you, Sol-solis-no-viscus? What do you call a something that seeks solace in madness?" A throne had formed from the notes that still exited Discord's ears, and he lazily leaned back in it with his legs crossed; his eagle clawed hand supported his head. Gone was the whimsy from his voice, and gone was the playful glint in his eyes. For the first time since entering his mind, Celestia had to fight back her fear.
"Please, Discord, I can't sleep. My heart aches for the freedom..."
Discord slammed his lion's paw down onto the throne, causing it to ripple out of shape before reforming, while his stick exploded into bubbling sludge that fell into the sky below them.
"And what of MY freedom! You come to me to plead and beg for your brief moments of oblivion, and what do I get out of it?" Discord's face was now a snarl as his hands gripped both arm rests crushing notes beneath. They screamed and hissed, before leaking a yellow fluid that formed itself into flies, that buzzed around the mare before them.
"You get a glimpse of the world outside your prison." Celestia tried to ignore the yellow flies that bit at her hide. They were not really there, but that didn't mean the pain was any less.
"Pah, a glimpse." The Spirit slumped back in his throne and crossed his arms in a sulk.
Celestia waited in silence for as long as she could stand the biting files before turning away.
"Fine. Have it your way, Discord." Making her way down the steps, the royal mare found the floor under her hooves was moving backward. She turned to face Discord - who had quickly outgrown his throne - and now had a head currently on par with a decent sized house.
"You win, Celestia - let's enjoy our sentences together." Snap! With the closing of his jaws Celestia was gone in a single bite.
********
A grey shape stirred beneath the statue of Equestria's former King, as it felt her Sun gently touch the horizon's edge. It burned there, softly awaiting her call, though she knew she still had a few moments before she needed to raise it. Stepping up from the ground, Celestia felt both lighter and renewed, like the air after a thunderstorm - and thunderstorm was about right from what she could remember of last night's encounter. Looking up in the dark, the pale mare tried to make out Discord's now ever-frightened face in the gloom, but all she could see was his outline.
"I am grateful for the peace you give me. I wish there was another way." Before Celestia could open her wings to fly towards the observation balcony and resume her duties, she saw a light burning its way towards her.
"Philomena, what has gotten you up so early?" Clutched in the phoenix's claws was a scroll, which she dropped down to the Princess, before landing on an outstretched foreleg and grooming her wing feathers. Celestia picked the scroll out of the air with her magic, and unfolded it carefully as she brought it closer to read.
"Why is it always Ponyville?"
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You have no idea how much fun I had writing this
Go on, how many of you saw Celestia and Discord in the same chapter and thought I was going to go there
Interesting.... Very interesting. I'm curious what Tia will find when she gets to the disaster capital of Equestria.
Also, that's a take on Dislestia that I haven't seen before.
1118532 is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Hmmm... I'm guessing Celestia is going to find a mentally unwell human?
1118553 Good, I guess? It's definitely hinting at a more complex relationship than the usual marriage/special someone/familial bond that are the staple of stories where Discord and Celestia know each other better than just having fought a major war in the past.
Being different is never a bad thing in writing, as long as the readers can still follow you and aren't going "wtf just happen? imma go way nao."
And I'm still here, but I dunno if I count as part of the masses.
Well my curiosity has certainly been piqued, do continue please.
Interesting and great chapter.
1118966 I wanted to try and strike a bit of a love/hate relationship between the two, without any romance. It is not something I have seen really done much. The way I look at it (and without spoiling anything for future reveals) Both Celestia and Discord are very, very old - and Celestia has very few she can turn to when things get a little...much for her.
Excellent chapter. Now keep writing. I have to see where this goes.
1137778 Commas are my worse enemy. I am improving, surprisingly, but I still struggle. Any criticism will be taken to heart and used to, hopefully, improve not only this story but others. Writing is not something that comes easy to me, but that is no reason for me to not try my hardest to improve.
Okay, fuck it.
Expect a review sometime in the next few days. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png
Also, I didn't get a notification of your reply. Odd....
In any event, I'm going to start by saying this: You need a proofreader. Badly.
More thorough review to arrive later.
1137974 I shall start browsing around for a more full time proof reader. I do have someone who gives the chapters a look over when they have the time but they are busy with their own fic's at the moment (and I really don't want to take away their time) and so have only gone over the first two chapters. Thank you for taking the time to grind this fic up and see if you can find the gems within.
"As the dark one played with light, the light one sort out the darkness and only in the royal gardens did true darkness live."
sorted?
"No lights lit the way for the pale Princess as she walk through the greenery that was now nothing more then darker shapes within the night."
walked?
"Celestia noticed a few of her sisters children had shifted, so stopped to admire the view the position granted her. "
This might technically be okay, but it would be much less awkward with a "she" between the "so" and "stopped."
"Lets play in your mind this time instead. I am sorry to say have just not had time to clean up, the place is simply a mess at the moment."
'I am sorry to say I have just..." perhaps?
"Such insults! Here I am offing my help night after night and what thanks do I get?"
offering?
"You know you could ask Luna to join us on our walks one night. I am sure she could spare time from her busy scheduled, you certainly find time to visit your little pony friends."
schedule? Regardless there should be a semicolon instead of a coma after this word.
"If I'm mad then what dose that make you sol solis no viscus?"
does?
"Celestia tried to ignore the yellow flies that bit at her hide, they were not really there, but that didn't mean the pain was any less."
Again, this is okay but it is awkward. "...but that didn't mean the pain was diminished" perhaps?
Anyway that's all I caught. I hope it helps.
1145013 Much appreciated - I will clean those out.
The first one was meant to be 'sought'
Well, this is an interesting take on the relationship between Celestia and Discord. I think I might have seen something similar once before, but I can't recall for sure. I do know that I've seen the romance/family route dozens of times before, both done well and done poorly.
I do think that you've captured the element of chaos in Discord quite well and the interaction between Celestia and Discord feels about right.
Very interesting mix of plot lines, keep it up. See you next chapter.
1217755 Next chapter should be up tomorrow. There should be a few more plot developments and some 'slice of life' problems that need to be addressed, like simply getting comfortable around an alien sentient species (for both sides)
I'm liking this so far. It has a lot of potential. And a lot of pitfalls and clichés to avoid :P
Alice is acting a bit strange imo. If I had been evading predators in that forest for the better part of a year, I would be pretty wary of any species that approached me, cute or not. Especially after one of them attacked me. I'd also be pretty pissed that the species which I suspect might put me in a zoo (or worse) is now rampaging through my home (the only thing that reminds me of my world). Alice however seem pretty relaxed and accepting. Is she still dazed from Rainbow's attack?
Keep it up!
1224080 Yes, pretty much dazed. She is also a little forewarned due to George giving her a heads up - hence the mask thing she tried to put together. Also...Pinkie Pie is a little hard to fight against, she is just so darn nice.
George shall be explained (mostly) in the next chapter...and I am really quite proud of myself for keeping him hidden. For those of you who want a last ditch effort to figure it out before I do the big reveal here is a little rhyme:
Water never ran so thick,
A drop is always missed.
Impressions made on those we meet,
Forever will persist.
1225677
Ehhhh, nope. Can't figure it out. My first impression was a voice in her head. Either the schizophrenic kind, but possibly also the scheming discordant kind ;)
The closest I can think of is some kind of animal, possibly one Alice saved?
encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQftYTL72YFeSYE_53BEhucJyT5E5OjD5wWJdK4_i_0hqP0Of35pQ
Question of my life.
This Alice woman needs to make those ponies take their lemons back. They break into her home, disrespect her wishes of being left alone (Twilight is really pushy with that magic. Sucks for Spike.) Rainbow is immediately hostile (typical for most other creatures, but she attacks Alice) and the elements expect to get away with it? Disgusting. Elements of harmony my ass. Hope when Alice's daze wears off, she resorts to dirty, pain inducing trickery on the ponies to get away. Because she obviously can't face pony superpowers head-on, and win. Unlike this guy. Fluttershy should take lessons from him.
Unarmed Badass Viking Commentary
I wonder if the story is on hiatus
1769520 Umm yes, and soon to be no
Don't be mad I just get distracted and then lose focus. Considering it has only been five months rather then my usual six month brakes I consider it to a good sign of how much I love this story
Thanks to everyone who has been patient, I hope I will not disappoint. The new chapter is almost done though it will go between 'Through the looking glass' and 'Consumed by Chaos', It was this that was causing me to stumble but I will go into more detail once it is up.
2007926 nope, or maybe yes depending on if you read it before or after it was moved (I forgot to save the order). 'Fragile' comes before 'Consumed by Chaos' even though it was written after it.
"If you think this is just your average HIE then think again. With only the thoughts of getting back home our lost human will have to get to grips with the world around her, just as the world struggles with getting to grips with her."
Seems like an average human in equestria. No read.
2008169 *shrug* Fair enough, hopefully you can find a story that strikes your interest.
I really like this story but what was with the Discord eats Celestia bit?
2008318 Just a little bit of creative symbolism. Neither Discord or Celestia are physically 'there', its more like a shared dream - except it is Discord that is in charge. The whole 'eating her' is more Discord wanting to be over dramatic - he is basically smothering her thoughts/dreams with his own, for a short amount of time anyway.
i dont know why but the chapters seems to be out of order for me i got one from august at the bottom with the more recent one above it
2009830 Not to worry, they were written out of sequence but they are in the right order. I was so excited and rapped up in getting to the whole, Discord and Celestia bit, that I cut a corner and paid the price with a great big mental block on getting the story back on track. After a five month brake I was able to look at the story with fresh eyes and see where I had gone wrong.