Through the looking glass
The three mares watched as the door slowly creaked open. Plaster fell from around the hinges, thanks to the buck Applejack had given them, and a few dents in the front of the wood told them that the door was still fairly solid, and would have likely taken quite a while to get open by any other way than Pinkie's. Applejack noted that she owed her friend an apple pie once this was all over.
The first thing the three saw were four long, peach fingers gripping the edge of the now marginally open door, like a spider ready to jump. They sat a few hooves above the waiting pony's eye height, and warned Twilight that this thing was big. Pinkie Pie was more interested in seeing the owner of the fingers right away, so moved round to get a better look. A wall of mismatched cloth stood in the way of the curious blue eyes. Nothing beyond it was visible, no matter how hard Pinkie scrunched up her eyes.
Soon part of a round, flat, face peaked round the corner, with a single beady eye looking each of the mares over before the door opened a little more to reveal a tall, gangly-looking troll. The face was bald of any hair, and reminded Applejack of the pigs back at home. It did, however, have a messy tangle of brown mane on top of its head. Unfortunately, the mane was in such a state that it would have likely given Rarity a heart attack. That was, if the tattered and hastily repaired clothes didn't first. Twilight could see Alice looked a lot thinner than the troll in her book, and was maybe some sort of forest troll instead of the trolls found up in the mountains.
Alice looked over the three brightly-coloured horses as she held onto the door hiding her right arm and leg. Feeling very unsure about this whole turn of events, she was not quite ready to leave the safety and security of her hallway. Quick to try and aswhat sort of threat she might be in, Alice saw that other than a rope on the side of the orange horse, they didn't look to have any weapons. Truth be told, they all looked quite cute and harmless. The three equines were smaller than she had thought they would be - about the size of a very big dog or a Shetland pony. That, however, didn't help her relax much, she had dealt with both big dogs and Shetlands in her life, and neither could be considered harmless just because of their size. Besides, the purple one had a horn, though she found she loathed to call it a 'unicorn'. Unicorns were, in her eyes, meant to have cloven hooves and a lion's tail and, other than the horn, this one looked no different to the other two. It was a strange thing to bother her, considering she was looking at brightly-coloured, talking Shetland ponies, but details like that always bothered her in fantasy stories, much like when people put up fewer than eight - nine if you counted Rudolf - reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh.
The fact that there were only three of the equines currently in her former bedroom was also bothering Alice. She knew there were more, after seeing them approaching earlier. "Where are the others?" Alice realised that she sounded a lot more forceful than she had wanted to, but the last thing she needed was someone breaking into her house from one of the other rooms and wrecking her apartment. Everything had to stay where it was. Everything had to stay safe.
"The rest of our friends are outside," said Twilight, trying to sound as non-threatening as she could. The truth was, she was having to fight back both her own fear and her wonder. Here was some sort of sentient troll that was capable of speech, and she and her friends were the first ponies to find and interact with it. This was truly a momentous occasion, - she just wished she had a notepad with which to take everything down. What would the Princess think when she told her? Would she come down to see Alice herself, or would they need to convince the troll to come with them to Canterlot?
Pinkie Pie however had visions of Alice meeting more, immediate, ponies.
"I can't wait for you to meet everypony, Alice. Oh, I have never been friends with a troll before! Well, now that I think about it, I don't think anypony has ever been friends with a troll. This is going to be so much fun! Do trolls have parties? Oh, I hope you do - I would love to see what a troll party was like." The excitable mare was now bouncing up and down as Alice slowly shrank back into the doorway, clearly unnerved by the over friendly pony in front of her.
"Er...sorry about Pinkie Pie. She just gets a little overexcited. I'm Twilight Sparkle and this is Applejack." Twilight tried to salvage the situation before they all ended up talking to a door again. Alice, however, frowned.
"Wait. You think I'm a troll?" Alice sounded confused and Twilight was starting to wonder if maybe she had made a mistake. Maybe her kind and trolls were not the same? Maybe they didn't even get along? Trolls were well known for being stupid beasts, whereas Alice here was clearly at least close to an average pony's intelligence. Twilight knew she would have to do some tests to be sure, though. Perhaps calling her a troll was like calling a pony a goat - or worse - a horse.
"If ya ain't no troll, then what the hay are ya? If ya don't mind me askin'." Applejack was not really of a scientific mind on this whole encounter. Sure, they had somehow found a sort of intelligent creature hiding out in the Everfree Forest, but weirder things had been found in these woods. All she wanted was to find out who was responsible for wrecking her trees and, if this was the creature that had done it, Alice had better get ready to cough up some bits.
Alice bit at her lip for a moment before taking a chance.
"Have you ever heard of a human?" The question came out of the blue for the ponies, and none of them were really sure what Alice was talking about, but the words were filled with hope. Hope so fragile that Twilight almost felt bad when she shook her head, and watched the others do the same. Alice sighed and looked down at the floor before slowly sinking back through the doorway. "Never mind."
They were losing her.
"No, wait. Please," Twilight pleaded, begged. She had to find out more about her. "Is that what you are? A human? Are there more like you living here? Please, we need to know." 'I need to know,' thought Twilight truthfully.
"The only thing ah need to know is who has been vandalising my trees and stealing mah apples." Applejack was not about to sit on her rump while Twilight played twenty questions. They had come here to do a job, not go on a nature study.
Twilight panicked when she saw Alice try to close herself off from them, both in conversation and via the door. The mare quickly tried to halt the retreat by grabbing the door with her magic, however this turned out to have the added effect of startling the human holding onto it.
Alice, having to face the reality that she really was the only human in this world, suddenly felt the door in her hands pull away from her. It was surrounded by a magenta glow and seemed to hum under her touch. Not knowing what was happening, she quickly let go of the door and looked at her hands to check they were okay before wiping them down her patchwork T-shirt. With the door now wide open, the human female stood frozen. Behind her, the ponies could see a corridor with two other closed doors on the opposite walls. Buzzing could be heard from behind one of them. With her rational brain currently taking a little nap, Alice grabbed the broom off of which had hung the mask, and held it out in front of her - bristle side forward.
"Get out. Just leave me alone and get out." The human backed up, eyes darting from one pony to the next before muttering to herself, "Why are you never around when I need you."
"Easy there, sugarcube. We done told you before, we just want to talk." Applejack edged forward, watching both the human creature and the broom. Unfortunately, an impatient pegasus decided to poke her head through the barrier at that very moment. The sight of a troll looking ready to attack her friends did not go over that well.
Alice only had a second to look up and see a very angry looking blue horse before she found herself on her back with the back of her head and her shoulder screaming out in pain.
"Rainbow Dash - no!" Twilight rushed forward and started checking the human over. She was still conscious but dazed, having hit her head on the opposite wall when the teal tornado had rushed her. Alice had tried to back away without anywhere to go, only to end up falling over herself in blind panic, the broom likely didn't help matters either. What was worrying however was how she was holding her her left forearm and the sounds of pain that were coming from her.
"That thing was attacking you, what did you expect me to do?" Rainbow Dash had not really meant to hurt the creature - just scare it away. How was she meant to know that it would knock its self out? "Is...is it going to be okay?"
"Poor thing was just scared. Living in a place like this would likely put anypony on edge." Applejack grabbed the broom in her mouth and moved it out of the way, before stepping into the hallway. The floor was, again, covered in a brown and cream carpet while the walls were decorated with floral wallpaper of more creams and pastels. The apple farmer noticed Pinkie Pie jumping up and down to look at the pictures hanging on the walls.
"Wow, look at all these. Who is this human, Alice? Oh, and this one? Is this one you?"
"Pinkie, please. She is hurt. Can you go find any where we can lie her down at all?" Twilight was trying to get a better look at Alice's shoulder, but every time she got close, Alice would flinch or tell her to go away. The hallway was also not really helping either, as it was fairly cramped.
"Eww, there are Parasprites in here!" Pinkie had opened one of the doors to a room that was mostly white and blue and had what she guessed was a bath (or a very large mixing bowl for making huge cakes), a sink, a white seat that didn't look very comfy, and a big tall glass box filled to the brim with Parasprites.
"What the?!" Another door had been opened and then quickly closed with a slam. A slightly green-looking Applejack stood very still in front of the door, her eyes closed as she took a deep breath. "Ah don't ever want to see nothing like that again"
"What's in there, Applejack?" Rainbow Dash moved to open the door, but she was blocked by the earth pony. Applejack shook her head slowly, before nodding her head towards Alice.
"Looks like this here human eats more then just apples, those Parasprites are on the menu." Rainbow Dash paled a little and backed away from the door at Applejack's words. That was not something she wanted to see.
"There's a bed in here." Pinkie Pie poked her head out from a doorway on the same side as the one out of which they had come.
"Alice we are not going to hurt you, I promise, we just need to ask you some questions. Can you stand?" Twilight heard a pained 'yes', before the human started to shift. "Girls, give us a hoof."
The four mares found it surprisingly easy to help the biped stand. She was a lot lighter than they had thought she would be, and was soon resting upright on the settee. Alice had dismissed the bed that rested along one of the walls, as well as any help they had offered her with her shoulder which she was now rubbing or massaging with her free hand. Unsure of what they could do to help the four ponies found their attention being pulled in different directions by all of the strange sights.
The room itself was a jumble of different furniture and objects, with just a few narrow paths leading between it all. Most items were covered with blankets and sheets, which Pinkie Pie was now lifting up to look at what was hidden beneath, leading to a chorus of questions as well as cries of 'Ooo' and 'Wow'.
"Look at all these books." Twilight had walked over to a large bookshelf, which was filled to the brim with books of all shapes and sizes. She tried to read the titles written down the spines, but whatever it was written in she was not schooled in. Taking a chance, she grabbed one of the books with her magic and brought it down to her, but the same spidery script adorned the pages. Far from disheartened, Twilight only found herself more excited. This was a whole new language, from a race that had never been documented. In fact, everything in this room was amazing. There were so many questions buzzing around in her head that she wanted to ask, but it was Rainbow Dash that asked her one first.
"Twilight, what do you make of this?" The pegasus was hovering at the far side of the room, with her hoof pulling back a covering to what looked like a window. Strong sunlight shone through and onto the floor, which should have been the first clue that all was not right - it was supposed to be evening inside the thick woods of the Everfree Forest. Walking over, the view from the window slowly came into focus as Twilight got closer. She could hear Alice suddenly shout out to stay away from the window, but the unicorn found she was unable to look away.
It was not possible...it was just not possible. Twilight's mouth stood agape at the the view beyond the window. A street - wider and with less greenery than any she had seen before - stretched out from one side to the other, with huge houses all along its length. Strange, completely covered carts sat along the centre of the street in two rows. It was only then she noticed that, inside each one, there was at least one other human inside. A smaller human was riding a bike with a bag of what looked like newspapers inside, while others walked along the street...or at least they looked like they would have been walking if anything she could see was moving. The whole scene before her was just that - a scene; a painted picture, like the images they had seen on either side of the barrier.
"Alice." Twilight walked away carefully from the window, as the other two mares came over to take a look. The unicorn walk over to the still slightly dazed human carefully, and looked her over again in a very different light.
"Alice, where are you from?" Twilight's words were slow and carefully placed. She sounded a little scared, but it wasn't the human in front of her that scared her.
"I think...I think I'm from another world." That was what Twilight was afraid of.
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Trespassing and assault. Way to go, Elements of Harmony!
wut
The way you write is a little different... it's not necessarily bad, but sometimes it seem you should describe less in the narrative and more in the talk. But other than that, this is great. Will follow, follow very hard and close, do moar!!
1104743 I am glad my writing style has not put you off. English is not something something that I find easy (though it is the only language I know). However, as I am long out of education, I find writing fanfiction helps to keep me both in practice and improving. I found this chapter especially hard to write with so many characters to juggle. Hopefully I pulled it off as well as keeping everyone behaving realistically. (Plus I posted this before Stereo_Sub was given a chance to edit it, I just wanted to get it out for people to read)
I really liked this chapter, it continues to be a good story.
While the chapter was good, I did however notice some minor mistakes.
I think that you meant to write "none" and accidentally forgot to add the "e" to the end.
I also noticed two or three instances in which you confused "then" for "than" Just a reminder, "then" refers to time: This then that. "Than" pertains to a comparison: Bronies like ponies more than non-Bronies.
I hope this helps, and keep up the good work.
1105647
You did well, i think there where no problems with understanding who was doing what, when or where. Maybe a little when Aj and Dash where going into doors and seeing the gore, but nothing really important.
Also, as for discord, i'm curious to see what you're gonna do with him in the story, i have seen many good stories going bad because there had to be the nightmare, or discord, or THE EVIL!!!1 thing to move the plot. But i would bet that you can pull it off without making something stupid, you seem to know what you're doing.
1106907, Thanks, I will fix them up right away.
1108340, The plot will move forward; the driving force however? Well that is going to be fun
. Worry not, nothing is going to be forced into the story just to get some action or put people/ponies in danger. This story, surprisingly, already has an end almost completely written out so, thankfully, it will not just peter out into a winding narrative without direction.
So the question is, is this an alternate version of Alice in wonderland? Seriously, this is confusing
.
1110874 Now that is a question I can answer - no. I did choose 'Alice' because of the story Alice in wonderland but that is mainly because it gives me access to fun lines in later chapters and it was better then just clicking on a random name generator.
As for all the confusing things that have happened thus far, I think a few of them get answered in chapters eight and nine though you are all free to take guesses as to whats going on - I have given lots of clues so far
1110985 My next question is- Is Alice a troll. Is she the trolliest troll of them all?
1111011 Well that is both a yes and a no. The way things worked out in this version on the world is that magic, and those that could use magic, advanced faster then those that couldn't, so trolls in Equestria really are just a different branch of humans and visa versa. It was actually 'Gulliver's Travels' that originally inspired me for this story (though other then the bare bones it has nothing to do with it).
When Gulliver reached the country of the Houyhnhnms (sentient horses) he was confronted with Yahoos - humans in their base forms; creatures who only lived for the three 'Fs' (food, fighting and...) and were always filthy because they spent their days digging out diamonds from the ground.
1111069 Let me rephrase that... Is Alice a troll. Of the internet breed?
1111078
how could you think such a thing. Unfortunately poor little Alice really is stuck, lost and completely confused - no acting on her part at all. Her slightly 'cook-coo' moments can mainly be be chalked up to being on her own in a fantasy world for the past nine months.
1111104 True....Unfortunate though, I was looking forward to the humour...
1111115 Hehe just keep reading, Discord is actually a very big part in this story...in an unusual way.
1111125 OH GOD, HE'S GOING TO BE ALICE'S MAID!?!?!?!?!?
1111133 And now I am not going to be able to get the image of Discord in a French maid's outfit out of my head.
edit: never mind its already been done: He seems to like it to
1111143 Well, I suppose to be fair it wouldn't be too out of character for him
stalking timeencrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcStGgWPIVWZ9TMLc3dX4JH6h_B3PoMhKZGwXgEt0krL_nsXMMP8XA
1108554 That they are.
1108541 You're welcome. Glad to hear it.
I honestly expected her to be excited. I mean an alien is way more interesting than simply a new race of their planet!