Always out in the open fields catching the breeze!
Human X Pony
Human in Equestria
Slice-of-Life
In a vice to get money for his rent, Erik is pushed to perform in circumstances he's uncomfortable playing in. Following an unfortunate event, Erik is mysteriously placed in Canterlot with his violin. Unable to speak their language with no money and no home, he is forced to start from the bottom and work his way up.
*Spoilers may be in the comment section, read at your own will*
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9/13/2018
9/18/2018
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Nice story!
Keep it up!
MidnightH
I'm loving this.
So far it's well written with smooth pacing and consistent characterization.
If you'll forgive some unsolicited advice could you avoid using green for dialog the protagonist doesn't understand? for me at least it's only just barely distinguishable from the rest of the black text on a white background. I only noticed because suddenly the text was harder to read. I also was confused as to the meaning of the highlighting until I read a bit further the first time It was used. Som authors just highlight all dialog which I find quite annoying because the colored text is always harder to read than black and can be really bad for anyone using the dark background mode which I use from time to time.
Some other delimiters like the |pipe|, ~tilde~ or even /forward slash/ placed on either side of the quotes would have a similar effect and make it easier to read with the added bonus that the change and intent are immediately evident.
to be fair it might not be a problem much longer as I suspect that our trapped violinist will pick up the language quite fast at this rate. Just something to keep in mind.
I'm glad you aren't linking or embedding the songs you mention, as much as I love listening to well selected the links and embeds others use tend to break me from my immersion in the story. 👍
On a more personal note,
I've been wanting to learn to play the violin for the last 8 years it's just so versatile has one of the most pleasing sounds imho. But I simply don't have the time or money to dedicate to the craft right now. I've learned the baritone (the brass kind not the reed kind) and the guitar in the past but that was in school. judging by for familiarity with the music, knowledge of the work scene, and terminology I'm guessing you have more than a passing fondness for the instrument. Are there any tips you have for someone who would like to teach themselves at least the basics of the violin?
in any case, fantastic work! you've earned a like and favorite from me with only three chapters.
Like it so far just one suggestion insert links to music (It doesn't have to be the exact piece he is playing but something in the same genre to set the mood )
Dont do it for everything he plays if it's too time consuming to search all the music but maybe 1 piece a chapter.
So yeah other than that please don't stop or go on a 3 years hiatus.
8556203
Thanks, will do my best to keep up the writing.
8556859
8557017
Both of you have the opposite outlook on the 'adding or not adding the music links'. So in order to fulfill them both, I'll add the links to the songs in the authors note at the end of each chapter that has a song. That way you can read without having to click any links if you don't want to, and if you do, just bookmark the place in the story and scroll to the bottom to get the link.
8556859
Thanks for pointing out how the green text is hard to read. I'll change it back to black and add some little symbology to show when a character is talking in a different language.
I used to play the trumpet, as for the violin, yes I do play one!
I myself am self-taught so it is possible, but I would highly recommend getting a professional to teach you. I know they cost an arm and a leg but it truly is worth it, so long as you get a teacher you like. Things will go much faster and you won't pick up nasty habits. Not only that but at the beginning, it's hard to tell if you're playing sharp or flat. Well... for me that was the hard part.
If you're going to go my way and learn it yourself, then practice every single day even if you don't feel like it. Also don't only look up youtube videos either on how to play. I've had my violin for 2 years and I've been bouncing between videos and books. I find that if you have a friend that plays the violin or any instrument really, play with them. That way you have a goal and it pushes you to not look like a complete noob in front of them.
I won't tell you what to buy -mostly because it's your money- but what I will do is tell you what I did. I really loved the look of the electric version, so I went that route. However, I've heard and wholeheartedly agree that buying acoustic is the right way to go for a beginner. I myself just really wanted an electric, I haven't had any trouble starting with it, but then again I don't do performances. It's more of hobbies for me, the violin has been my favorite instrument for years.
If your buying a violin don't go all out. To be honest my violin I got off kajiji for hundred some-odd bucks. I will say it's by far not the best, in fact, it's probably bellow standard. In fact when I first played it one of the strings snapped because it was so old! Wasn't a hard fix though I just bought new strings. Nevertheless, it was a cheap investment to see if I would continue the art. After that, I bought a nice acoustic one when I knew I was going to continue. Regarding the bow, always loosen it after playing, I learned that the hard way. Taking care of the violin is a good habit to get into. Like cleaning the rosin from the strings and whatnot. Speaking of rosin, dark is for winter and light is for summer.
Lastly two more points. One, don't expect it to sound nice at the beginning. I always liked to think that you're getting better when the pets -if you have any- stay when you play rather then scamper off. Two, if you're really set on playing the violin, get into it the soonest you can. After all, if you wait a year or a couple months, you could have probably already played the two or three songs you've always wanted to play on the violin. I know for me I kept holding off trying to learn the vibrato, in the end, it took me two months to learn it well when I spent four avoiding it.
In the end, I'm an amateur violinist. I don't play for money, I don't play in front of groups of people, I do it just for fun. If you're looking to get really deep into it, and perform I suggest as before getting a teacher to help you through or at least speak to someone that has experience in that field.
Hope my opinions help, and if you get famous one day out of the blue; remember good old _windsock_ and send him a couple grand okay?
8557017
I'll try not to, although I do have a bad habit of taking brakes which I really need to stop. As for the music, I'll put the links in the author's notes at the end of the chapter. Thanks for the support.
A ‘bazaar’ is a market. I think you meant to put ‘bizarre’ which means ‘strange’.
So far, I greatly approve of this story. Keep up the fantastic work!
An HiE where the main character doesn't end up living with one of the main 6 and/or the sisters, and confessing feelings for one of them minutes before sleeping with her? I like it.
8558581
Agreed. I find it unrealistic for people to fall in love minutes after meeting. Something that will be shown in this novel as the Erik and Octavia go through the motions.
8558394
I greatly approve of your comment ;)
8557696
Your correction has been noted and placed into my 'fix it' text document. It will be fixed along with the green text when I have the time.
His room would be called a suite (pronounced sweet a French pronounciation.) although I suppose his suite was rather sweet...
Also good job on the story so far! I am enjoying it. I think food might be something he needs though.
You have done a good job with the story and the writing isn't so bad. However sometimes you use words that are close in spelling like below:
I think you meant contentment. To display contempt would be her showing she thought it was beneath her. Unless it was meant sarcastically that is.
You have a solid story going, hope to see the rest
Great save there Erik. If they don't believe you come from Earth you best well shut up about it and come up with a cover story.
Please continue this story, it has so much potential and I’d love to see another chapter more than anything
Well it was good while it lasted.
[Verse 1] Not everyone can be like Me and My Bow
The only problem is forgetting which side you're on
(So you think) The burning light will reappear on summer nights
Like all the rest, but they can't find out
[Verse 2] In every scene, it's Me and My Bow
Imaginary bombs, raining down from the clouds
(So it seems) The danger signs will never let the feelings die
When all the best and brightest have gone
[Chorus] Me and My Bow
Solid as they come
Me and My Bow
It's not a question now
It's Me and My Bow
Solid as they come
Me and My Bow
It's not a question now
Me and My Bow
[Instrumental Break]
[Verse 3] Binary star, sink like the setting sun
Too happy with ourselves to notice when the change had come
(So you think) The losing side would never break dividing lines
But sanctity wasn't in doubt
[Chorus] Me and My Bow
Solid as they come Me and My Bow
It's not a question now
It's Me and My Bow
Solid as they come
Me and My Bow
It's not a question now
Me and My Bow
[Outro]
Glad you're back!
Woooo! Great to see this updated and such a fun chapter as well
Thank you for the early Christmas!
*content with just playing
Didnt you mean "content"?
9180113
9180580
Fixed just for you lovely people.
9173376
9170734
I'm amazed you figured out I started up again so fast. Next chapter might take longer to put out due to me scraping my hands mixing cement. At times like this where I'm typing with one hand, I wished I brought gloves with me. Either way thanks for sticking with me.
9168214
I wish I could write songs. You sir have earned my star of approval. Only one has ever been given. 🌟 Truthfully I wish that I had something else to give to show my appreciation.
Well written and enjoyable. I also like looking up and listening to these songs as well.
I am glad to see you updating again. Although now I feel the need to reread from the beginning.
Luckily that will be as enjoyable as the first time.
Rereading this as I said I would.
For first time readers I would suggest you keep going. It's pretty good and straightforward. A good story with good music (intrisic to this story) that I don't think alot of people have heard yet.
Edit: while it might seem sometimes that this author uses inaccurate words I have come to think that that is due to a language barrier.
While I am not sure that is the case entirely I would give this story more consideration because it is still well written and flows well despite if that is the fact of the matter.
Wait why would they have a danish in equestria?
Noice
9248992
indeed *tongue click* noice
9248659
Out of all the things to question in the pony universe, you choose a cheese danish to tip your curiosity over the edge? I mean they got heart monitors, magic, hooves that can grasp things and even a goddess that can move the sun! if your talking about the same name then the same could be said for all the puny city names. If you're looking for a way to fit it in with the lore, then just pretend that out there somewhere is a Danish pony civilization with their own puny name to which the mouth-watering pastry is named after.
In the end, I have to say touche. If I were to pick something to argue about it defiantly would be a delectable treat. I see you too are a man of great tastes. In the end, it's an oversight on my part (lazy writing, not wanting to explain every imperfection). While I could change it to say 'pastry' instead of 'danish' I rather keep it as danish so people know what it pastry it is.
I undoubtedly went overboard on the explanation here, but it was fun to write. So I have only thanks to give you for reading my novel and posting a comment.
9183956
I'm honored that you've decided to read my story over again! Not only that, but you've given a recommendation to others to keep reading. You truly are a saint.
Yet (I know that awful word), I have to say that I'm a bit confused with the criticism in your comment. Are you talking about me -the author- having a language barrier or the character having one? If you're talking about me, then no, I'm a Canadian with English as my first language. I know that sometimes I may mess up (like you did in your own comment (it's intrinsic, not intrisic)) but I'm always open to comments that point them out. As evident from my last post in where I fixed some errors, readers pointed out.
Since I don't have an editor and do everything myself; I'm no stranger to criticism. In fact, I welcome it with open arms. However, just saying that I use inaccurate words is not enough for me to go on. An example or quoting it straight out would be a better way of going about it (If this was your way of telling me to go back and fix it). I want to improve and I want to polish the story, I really do. Yet I'm doing this for free and I'm taking a couple hours out of my schedule to make these chapters.
Enough of that though, as I can see from your comments that you wish nothing but the best for the story. I can't tell you how much it means to me that I've had a person read my story twice (when it's not even done yet!). Your praise is humbling and your criticism was noted. I just wanted you to know that with the time I have free, going over my work and fixing these inaccurate words will probably never happen unless one, they are pointed out so I can fix them relatively quickly; or two, I finish the story and dedicate a month or so going over it.
>>everyone
I would like to thank every single one of you that has read my work so far. I know that there are large gaps in between updates, but I'm trying my best with the free time I have. Just look at the people reading summer bound, they haven't got an update for over 7 months (Yikes! Really need to get back to that story as well!) However, this is not an excuse, just me slapping myself in the face and saying "get back to work" and also letting you all know whats happening and that I'm not dead.
9249543
Maybe I'm just patriotic, but my interest/curiosity always gets Piqued whenever Denmark is mentioned in any way, shape or form, and that made me question that specific thing
I should properly also say that your story is great and I really like the direction the story is heading.
Love the 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia' reference.
He took his sweet time but I'm glad for the road that was made in their relationship, it's quite cute and charming.
ah, I really like the path the story took to get here. really feels right.
Happy One Year Anniversary for Me and My Bow!
Thank you all for reading, and I hope you will continue on as I write!
9250530
Having lived in Finland I can see what you mean. Thanks for your comments they keep me thinking. Maybe I'll add a little lore to why danishes are still called danishes in Equestria.
9255810
I love that you loved it. Was listening to it one night, and was like 'this has to be in the book'. It fitted so perfectly that I had to do it.
9290278
Indeed, I wanted their relationship to slowly grow. This way I can throw more things at them, and have them lean a little bit more on the other.
9290968
It's been a long time coming. I assume a lot of other people are screaming yes in their heads as well.
9292181
I sure hope so, that is what I was aiming to achieve. A realistic and calm development of their relationship.
9255810
Guitar Hero III vibes
I’m really loving the story so far. I just hope that he can solve this language barrier problem of his soon.
YAY, he is learning the language! I'll admit, it's a nice change of pace instead of having someone magic him the language or something like that...though to be honest I wouldn't mind that either myself. In any case I can't wait to read more!
Truer words have never been spoken.
But if you lose, the devil takes your soooooooooooooul!
Sorry, just had to do it.
Yea...sorry Erik, but you got wrecked.
10843185
As soon I was saw what side of the lyrics he was on I knew he was gonna lose.
Update any time?
Dude this is really good. Hope you keep going!
Pls this can't be over!