Ponyville is now under an infestation, causing to its inhabitants being driven by the negativity of the environment and threatening the peace around the land.
And when it took possession on Rainbow Dash, something broke inside of a certain turtle, releasing an undiscovered inner rage in order to save the day.
Inspired by the IDW's MLP Issue 41 comic and the Incredible Hulk movie.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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ITS THE INCREIBLE TANK!
It is said those slowest to anger to rage the least, are the ones you must never never NEVER truly anger or enraged.
For if you do, you unleash a beast that can crush all in his or her rage.
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Indeed my friend. And the incoming wreckage it's about to happen.
Hope tank keeps it together enough but understand.
Tank poor heart was broken but instead of sorrow it turned to pure rage, and directed at the very thing that made his owner/friend hurt him.
With how much he loves his owner, that alot of rage.
Well, I’ve found this story by chance and, deeming it fairly interesting, desided to dig in. To be blunt and brutally honest, it needs a lot of work. What catches one’s eye at first glance is the formatting. What’s up with the double spaces between the paragraphs? One is more than enough. Also, why the inverted exclamation and question marks at the beginning of some lines?
My guess is that English is not your native language, a hunch strengthened by oftentimes incorrectly used forms of verbs, mismatched prepositions, and some generally rough wording. But most of these can be fixed by a simple glance of a skilled editor. However, what won’t be so easy to fix is the execution of the chapter—to put it simply, it’s rushed. The whole plot just flies by without the readers being able to grasp what, how, and why is happening in some greater detail. Due to that, the atmosphere is almost nonexistent. Remember to slow down, focus on the surroundings, the characters’ position and movement on the scene, and also some general work with pacing and tension. Getting someone to guide you along the way and help you improve is going to be essential.
I hope this will help you make the story the best it can be