• Published 5th Jul 2017
  • 1,739 Views, 29 Comments

Serious Business - 2Merr



Silly, comedic stories as told by a very serious narrator.

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Blood at First Sight

Princess Luna sat upon her throne, enjoying the dim light and silence around her. Ever since her return from the moon, she found that she preferred quiet solitude over the company of other ponies. However, she was a princess, so it was her duty to allow ponies to come to her directly for help. Thankfully, the night court was far less active than its daytime counterpart. This suited Luna just fine, for she was still unfamiliar with the strange mannerisms of ponies in this new era. She much preferred the old customs.

The peaceful silence was broken when the doors of the throne room were thrown open, the hinges screeching from the strain. Luna watched passively as two of her guards rushed inside, half-dragging a green pegasus stallion between them.

"Your Majesty," the left guard panted, "this stalli-"

"Leave us, guards," Luna interrupted. She was more than capable of handling a petitioner by herself. "I will deal with him."

"But-"

"LEAVE US!"

The guards quickly fled, fearing the power of the Royal Canterlot Voice. When she could no longer hear their clanking armor, she finally addressed her first visitor of the night. He was still face down on the tiles, demonstrating far more etiquette than her guards.

"Greetings, subject. State thy purpose."

The stallion mumbled something incomprehensible.

"Speak up or not at all," Luna warned.

"Princess Luna, please! I'm dying!"

"Greetings, Dying." Luna ignored the odd name, dismissing it as another quirk of modern times. "State thy purpose."

The stallion finally lifted his head, revealing a face darkened by the blood gushing from his eyes. While he had been bowing in respect, a pool of blood had formed beneath him.

"My eyes are bleeding!" he shouted.

Indeed, they were. Quite profusely, in fact. Luna felt a flush come to her cheeks. Was this what it seemed to be? So many of the old customs had been lost to time, but did this one endure through the ages?

"I... I am not sure I am ready for such a commitment," Luna said, feeling uncharacteristically shy. Dying was certainly a handsome stallion, but she knew barely anything about him beyond his name.

"I'm begging you, please help me! It hurts so much!" Dying pleaded with clear longing in his voice.

Luna was completely flustered now, her wings fully extended. She had been approached by suitors in the past, but none that demonstrated such pure, unbridled want. He was even begging to be with her, saying it hurt to be without her.

"Please... " Dying's voice had fallen to a seductive whisper, the light glinting red in his hemorrhaging eyes. "Just put me out of my misery..."

Luna was instantly smitten, her heart pounding in her chest. She tried desperately to catch her breath, her lungs feeling hot and cold at the same time. This stallion made her feel like a little filly with a schoolyard crush.

"O-okay..." Luna breathed, finally finding her voice.

Dying was so happy with her acceptance that he passed out on the spot, a grimace of pure bliss frozen on his face.

Luna shakily rose to her hooves, walking slowly down the steps of the dais. She wrapped the slumbering stallion in a magical embrace and lifted him gently onto her back, savoring the feel of warm blood on her coat. She carried him from the throne room and down the hall leading to her bedchambers, stepping softly to not disturb her prince.