What's a Gary?

by Reykan

Vacations

Twilight Sparkle was a busy mare. So busy in fact, that the vacation she managed to plan out with her friends had been interrupted three dozen times by citizens asking for her help in various matters, from the trivial to the life-changing. Odd, considering she was relatively new to the whole royalty thing.
'You'd think two grown adults could come to some sort of decision on what to name a baby.'

No, she was being mean. It was her duty to help, right? Even if it meant getting interrupted Every. Five. Minutes for the most trivial of things, things that could be settled if both parties would act like adults for two seconds.
She was on her way to catch up with her friends, already running late because of another individual asking what color would look better on the walls, when a commotion caught her attention. The presence of the guard almost made her walk away, as they were well equipped to handle most disturbances. A quick peak at the situation though caused her to focus completely on the disturbance.

There was a changeling in the street.

Getting closer, she found out the reason the changeling hadn't been apprehended. There were a few ponies around it, blocking the guard from moving closer.
One guard, a unicorn, fired off a spell she didn't recognize at the mare at the front of the pack. the unicorn winced and shook her head but otherwise continued to yell at the guard, waving papers in front of him.

"-no right or reason to hit him or any of us with that spell! That isn't even a spell sanctioned by the Canterlot Guard! It causes physical and mental duress to any who get hit by it. You expect me to believe Princess Celestia authorized such a detection method?"

"I said, stand aside. That thing is to be apprehended-"

"Have you listened to a word I said? Shift is with us. He has citizenship papers signed by Princess Celestia herself! This is her seal!"

Twilight approached the ponies and took the papers in her magic, reading the signatures as well as checking the seal. It was legitimate, and the special exceptions notice said section seven subsection...
'Oh, that explains...'

Looking over the group she could see illusions of all kinds over the group defending the changeling. Size alterations, mass reducers, physical alterations...
'A group from the Everfree on vacation.'

"Miss, I need you to stand aside, the guard have this situation under-"

Twilight interrupted him, taking the stallion's badge and checking it. Oddly enough to her, it was real. He certainly wasn't acting like any guard she knew and the guard had heavy regulations on apprehension spells. If the mare was who Twilight suspected, well...Solar Storm and most of the older beings from Stewtopia kept up to date on such things.

"Step aside miss, this doesn't concern you," the guard said, pushing her with a bit of magic and snagging his badge back.

Twilight blinked. Surely he hadn't just-

"Are you blind as well as deaf?" The mare asked. "Do you know who that is?"

"A mare who's sticking her nose where it doesn't belong? And as for you, you're getting booked for impeding an arrest. If your friends are smart, they'll leave before I haul them in as well."

Twilight could only gawk at the guard. Judging by the slowly expanding ring that was around this incident, at least a few of the ponies around realized a line had been crossed.

"I beg your pardon, Corporal. What did you say to me?"

The guard rolled his eyes before looking up. Twilight followed his gaze and saw a few more guards arriving. While her first thought was that she might finally find somepony to work this out with, those hopes died when the leader of the group touched down.
"Another bug in the city. You'd think they'd learn. Move along, nothing to see here!"
Seeing twilight as well as the ponies still standing in front of the changeling, he sergeant grinned.
"Oh, this is gonna be fun. You wanna gawk? Then you'll be joining it in a cell. If your lucky, we'll muzzle it so it can't bite you."

"This is ridiculous. Their papers are completely legitimate, I've checked them myself," Twilight said, a strand of hair popping up in frustration.
Unseen by her, every member of the group surrounding the changeling stepped back, eyes widening.

"And who are you to be checking them? We all know changeling are liars. They even get into the news and papers. You expect me to believe they can't forge a document like this? Hay, they probably even stole the stamp for the seal.
"Now get out of the way or I'll bring you in as well."

"There's no way..." Twilight said, her eyes narrowing. "There is no way a sergeant of the Royal Guard could be that dumb. No way you think you could get away with arresting me."

<-(0)->

"Thanks for trying, Sparkle."

Twilight blinked, looking at the cell next to her own. Several of the Stewians were in her own cell while the others were in a second cell. Between herself and the mare alone Twilight wagered they had enough magical power to level the building and then blast the rubble from existence.
But she couldn't bring herself to do that. Whether it was the shock of being arrested by the royal guard for doing her job or her worry that doing so would put legitimate charges on her record wasn't the question. Right now the only thought on her mind was hoping Spike was okay. And what she was going to say to Princess Celestia about this.

Looking to the other cell, Twilight saw that the changeling still wasn't moving.
"Will he be alright?"

"I think so," Storm whispered. "That spell was designed to overload a changeling and bring down their disguise that way. The issue is that it causes pain regardless of who it hits. Definitely not a sanctioned guard spell. It hurt me pretty badly, and we'll-"

"You're resistant to pain and spells," Twilight finished, nodding.
She didn't have time to read all of it but that was one of the things the species-book mentioned on the first chapter. The pain tolerance, magic resistance, and special abilities of all species. Even draconiqui.
'I still can't believe those things have their organs shuffled like that, I mean what- it just-'

"He should wake up soon enough. We just have to wait. We've already missed a report-in time so they're already looking for us."

"This has happened to you before?"

"Psh, I think I've been brought in by the guard three times," a stallion behind her said from the cot. "Usually just the guard accusing one of us of being a changeling or saying our papers are doctored. Didn't use to be so bad but since the invasion it's gotten a lot worse. The funny thing is changelings are good at just avoiding the guard. They never find any legitimate infiltrators because those guys dodge patrols. Can sense the stressed guards from a mile away and avoid them like a plague."

Storm nodded.
"May need to have the changelings in our groups use the enchantments as well. If ponies are getting this paranoid we need to adapt."

The purple alicorn was about to ask what she meant when the door was thrown open, a very confused guard skidding to a stop in front of the cells.
"-read their papers, did you? Did it not occur to you that not all changelings were involved in the invasion of Canterlot? That some of them were just as victimized as the ponies?"

"Hi Luna!" Storm called, waving cheerfully.

"Who-ah, Storm, I did not recognize you, though I am certain that is the point. Have no fear, you shall be released..."
Luna's voice trailed off as her eyes landed on Twilight, the room darkening noticeably as she looked back through the door. Twilight heard a squeal as Luna dragged one of the guards from earlier into the room.

"Sergeant? Why, in the name of all that is good in this world, is Princess Twilight Sparkle in a jail cell."

A Night Guard floated into the room behind the lunar alicorn, a clipboard in his hooves.
"Here we go. 'Twilight'. Impersonating Royalty, resisting arrest, aiding a criminal, theft of evidence, theft of a guard's badge, forging an ID, interference with Royal Guard investigations...I don't remember anypony ever getting arrested for that. Is that a listed crime?"

"It is, but I don't think it would be viable as a crime even if she was actually being charged with the others," the stallion behind her said, never having left his spot. "It's used to hit those who knowingly interrupt or mislead an investigation. Checking a guard's badge and the papers being questioned doesn't constitute an interruption, not by the letter of the law anyway. Add the fact that it's within her right as a Princess to enter those sort of situations, especially where she believes someone is being treated unfairly or that facts are being ignored, and even the spirit of the law wouldn't stand."

"Ah, Verdant. So good to see you again...and behind bars once more. What was the cause this time, and why was Twilight dragged into it?"

"Shift, Princess," a mare said from behind Storm. "They hit him with something,"

Luna walked to the cell, opening it and motioning for the other occupants to leave. Most did, except for the female Pegasus...Twilight squinted. The female...griffon that was keeping especially close to the insensate changeling. As Luna was checking him for spell damage, the smaller alicorn could almost see the griffon's hackles rising.

"Peace, little lady. You know I mean him no harm."

"I, I know but we showed up about the same time and we're from relatively similar places and we were staying close and when that guard did that, of Verdant hadn't held me back I would have-"

"From what I have seen, it would have been no real loss. Still, I do appreciate both your restraint and Verdant's intervention. I would not have appreciated an enraged griffon painting the town with a guard's entrails."

"It was a near thing," Verdant chuckled before yawning. "After they started talking about arresting Twinkles over there I almost let her go. Stupid like that is contagious."

"Hmm, everything appears to be in order. I support Storm's theory. He should be fine once he awakens. Did you happen to record the spell, Storm?"

Twilight watched as the disguised alicorn lit her horn, Luna's glowing in synchronization before the larger mare winced.

"That...that is a spell I am familiar with. If anything is wrong when he awakens, tell them to research the effects of Shocker's Snatcher on a disguised changeling; a high-power tasing spell. Also one that was listed as illegal almost twelve hundred years ago."

"So in other words so long ago it's possible people forgot it was illegal," Solar Storm chuckled. "Thanks for the information, princess. We'll get someone on it."

"The pleasure is mine," Luna replied, opening the other cell and releasing Twilight and the others. "Your groups' bumbling into the less effective sections of the guard is a more effective way for us to find these problems than any inspections we could implement. I still cannot believe the squalor the prisoners of the Neighamii guard were kept in. If it was known they were doing such a thing equinitarian groups would have been all over us."

"Ah, Neighamii," Verdant chuckled. "Beautiful vistas, the smell of the ocean, moonlit walks on the beaches, until you get thrown in prison. Then it takes weeks to wash the smell of vomit, piss and shit off your scales. I'm going to start charging you for prison inspections."

"I would allow it, if only to watch the leaders of the royal guard panic as they attempt to find out who you are. It is likely the only way to get the guards to realize there is anybody new of importance around. Otherwise many prefer to coast."

Twilight watched the Pegasus that had followed Luna in. He was a natural Pegasus as far as she could tell, but his lack of reactions to the friendly banter, not even flinching at the griffon's promises of bloody vengeance that was almost carried out...

"Oh, do not fear, Twilight. Flint here is 'in' on this, as they say. He was one of my escorts to their home on several occasions, so their mannerisms do not bother him as much."

"Odd bunch, but mostly benevolent," the Pegasus mumbled jerking his head towards Storm and her friends while looking at her. "Some are pretty nice to look at, too."

"Flint, are you still crushing on me?" Storm asked. In a flash of magic, the mare dropped her glamours and picked the guard up in her forelegs, snuggling him against her barrel.
"Mm, I remember when you first ended up back home, talking about how we were all crazy. I even heard your rant."

Twilight stared in awe as the alicorn shifted, running a hoof along one of the extending wings of the guard.

"What was it that brought you out of that rant?"

The stallion gurgled something she couldn't make out, but whatever his answer...
'Oh my stars she's-'

"When you are done molesting my guard, I would like to leave. We need to get Shift home, get you all debriefed and Twilight likely needs to, oh. Never mind. Storm, your disguise?"

The alicorn disappeared in a flash of light, leaving a much smaller unicorn currently still playing with Flint's wings. A moment later, Luna opened the door to admit more ponies.

"Oh my gosh, it was true! What did you do, Twi? Rob a bank? Steal candy from a foal? Take somepony's book?"

"Hello Dash, Girls. No, I was attempting to help some pe-ponies who were being wrongfully arrested by the guard. Or rather, tried to step in. The stallion's didn't seem to recognize me."

"Much to their detriment," Luna said, staring at the shaking stallions still in the room. "I'm certain they understand their current situation, though, and just who they have struck. As it stands they are lucky Miss Storm has learned such control. The last time she was incapacitated we required a special team of mages to move her. Anypony aside from Celestia would have suffered burns after approaching even thirty paces of her location. Myself included.
"Storm, if you could bring Shift to the chariot waiting outside? Flint, please let them know I've authorized the transport of the injured male. He needs to get to proper medical facilities and I do not think we have anything local that would work."

Her friends were silent as a few ponies carried the limp form out the door, the black-shelled form holding their complete attention.
"Uh, Twi? Didn't most of the 'lings change?"

"It's...a long story. Chrysalis isn't the only queen would be the short answer, the long one-"

"Is not one you are ready to hear," Luna interrupted. She smiled at the purple pony. "I am thankful though. You did attempt to help them. I am sure they will remember that. If nothing else is needed, we shall retire to the mayor's estate. There are a few rooms we may use there for the debrief and afterwards I'm certain the rest of you would all like a shower."

"Aw, you're all leaving? But I wanted to ask Verdant about my Pinkie-copter!"

The stallion perked at the mention of the machine and Twilight realized she'd seen this male before. Only at that time he was about seven times his current size and lifting the engine out of a helicopter unassisted.

"I'll be in the area for another day," the disguised drake chuckled. "Perhaps we could meet up? I always enjoy hearing what you managed."

"Awesome opossum! I just recently got a whole new set of parts ordered in from Gearbox and I wanted to know if there were any tricks to-"

Rainbow Dash stared as the rest of the other group left, looking at each with confusion.
"Oookay, I get that it's not a bad black changeling but is anypony going to tell me what's going on? I feel like an extra in a spy novel, like there's something else going on that I'm not catching. Pinkie being Pinkie only gets her so far though, and then that big guy...'shy?"

Twilight turned to find her yellow friend shaking, watching Verdant with wide eyes. The moment he was gone and they tried to get his attention, she whimpered out a single word.
"D-d-dragon."

Luna stepped towards the Pegasus, putting a hoof on the shaking mare's shoulder.
"Fluttershy, Verdant is the last individual you need fear. Like Spike, he did not grow up in the dragonlands. He is a gentlecolt and a relaxed soul with naught but a quick tongue. I have spoken with him on several occasions and he has only ever been kind."

"Wait, the green stallion was a dragon?" Applejack asked, looking confused. "I, I thought they were all changelings. If, then what-"

"If my sister deems it acceptable you shall get the full explanation at a later date. For now I must ask you both not to pursue this Royal secret farther and not to hound Twilight about it."
Turning to the guards still huddling in the far end, both looking even paler than before, Luna's kind smile fell.
"And I shall remind both of you that the guard is under oath not to reveal such things. Punishments for such are left to our discretion, and I am not feeling particularly benevolent after learning that you've been using an outlawed spell to check for changelings and then imprisoned one of my fellow princesses out of ignorance. For now consider yourselves on leave. The same with the rest of your unit. A new detachment of the guard will be arriving tomorrow until this mess is sorted. And I will be sorting it personally, from top to bottom."

"I wish you all a good evening," the blue alicorn said as she turned back to the Element Bearers. "And do not give Twilight too much grief over this. I myself have been imprisoned after I first returned. The guards that did so were lucky Celestia had so much experience controlling her temper."

"Whoa, you don't mess around when you get involved in stuff, do ya, Twi?" Rainbow Dash asked, landing next to Fluttershy and pulling her friend closer with a wing. "I mean, disguised dragons and changelings that live together? Next you'll be asking me to believe in those super-smart monkey alien things Lyra's always going on about."

Twilight stopped on her way out the door.

"What about Lyra?"

Comments

[Krazyfan1]

BRILLIANT!

[ROBCakeran53]

Oh, this is continuing. Very interesting! Looking good so far, keep it up!

[Reykan]

8463319There are several additional ideas that came up as I was thinking about this one, so yea. Next will be a bit heavy on Luna, then another will be focused on changelings. You know, more so than just 'vacationers sent to prison because one of them is a changeling post-invasion.'

[ROBCakeran53]

8463350
You did a very good job at portraying Luna, so I eagerly await what else you bring to the table involving her.

[SeventhBrony]

SO MUCH GOOD AND YES! Needing more please!

[Spiritus Arcane]

Typical. Even in Equestria, guards that blatantly break the law just get 'administrative leave' instead of getting canned.

[Archmage Ansrit]

8463937
Well, Luna just wants to get the fine-tooth comb.

I am guessing that Celestia is going to be... disappointed and... upset.

I'm guessing that she's going to toss 'em out so fast their armor will ablate and save her the trouble of asking them to turn it in.

[Da Fennec]

8463937 I tend to believe unlike here those Guards will not be on leave awaiting a decision long

[Reykan]

8463937
The thing Luna needs to check is where the issue stems from. If it's the individual guards, yea. They're all going. But if it's just a few of the leadership positions that are approving these things or riling up their subordinates to be like this, not to mention not making certain the underlings are alerted to new management, then the lower enlisted could keep their armor. There might be some smaller punishments for not reporting their superiors, but it just all depends on the situation. I think I've read a few instances of someone to report an issue to a higher ranked individual and that other guy was just as involved, so the reporter was punished. Not legal stuff and the US military has whistle-blower protections, but it can still happen. My own brother had to deal with a variation of it in the navy. Someone finally got a hold of someone who was higher than a captain(because he wasn't doing anything to help) and the entire command staff was being investigated. Even had my brother go to a board to answer questions.

[Skalula7]

*in morgan freemans voice* it was at that very moment, that the guard pony knew that he fucked up.

[Theresa]

8464104
Possibility leaders saying as long as the boss isn't fussing at me then I don't plan on complaining.