• Published 29th Jun 2017
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Bat's Academy - Meep the Changeling



A young mare learns martial arts in Neighpone to try and find a way to live up to her family’s heroic legacy.

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11 - New Friends, New Skills

Sherbert - 6th of Solar Dusk, 26 AE

Kōmoriakademī, Neighdo - Neighpone

Uncle Sky had gotten two of his crew to fly me back to Neighpone in one of his shuttles. I’d been given the go ahead to leave by Doctor Tilk two hours ago. That had given me a lot of time to think about things, like regrets. Dad alway said that the things you wind up regretting in life are weirder than you’d think. I was starting to see what he was talking about now.

I could see the city flying by below me out the cargo bay window. Blazing past. Like the shuttle was running. Last time I’d seen the city from this vantage point, it had been like we were crawling.

I’d spent about a day and a half flying out to Neighpone on that airship. One and a half days spent in the third class cabin of a box hanging from the bottom of a big helium filled bag. A nice box. A roomy box. But a slow box.

I turned around, and looked out another window. Now I could see the Academy below. We’d arrived.

It was a little strange to see it from above. I’d seen it from the rooftops a few times, but this bird's eye view was rather interesting. I’d always thought the wall contained the entire dojo. And well, it did. But there was actually a small hidden part of the compound too, concealed by a internal wall which cut the outer wall in two pieces.

The outer wall was divided into two parts by the internal wall. The main section was the one I’d known, and the other part was a small garden with a few little buildings in a tiny cut off portion that had no apparent gateway leading into it from the dojo’s grounds.

That had to be the Academy Elder’s private estate.

I felt the shuttle lurch as it stopped moving forwards and transitioned to VTOL mode, apparently deciding to just land in the training yard. Made sense, this shuttle was taking a prototype of something vital to the Empress. It was to be taken to a classified location, and couldn’t be late.

I checked my watch. The timer read two hours and six minutes. That’s a heck of a lot faster than thirty-seven hours and fifty minutes. Airships: Combining the pampering and luxury of a cruise ship with the speed of... Some other slightly faster ship!

Hello, shuttles? It’s airships. You win.

I should have just asked Uncle Sky to fly me out here the first time! Why am I so stubborn when it comes to asking my family to help me?

The cargo bay’s intercom crackled to life, making me jump slightly, the olive green webbing digging into my barrel as it held me to the bench seat.

“Sorry, Sherbert, but we can't touch down. There’s not enough room between the buildings. We can get down to ten meters,” the pilot explained apologetically. “We’re not cleared to use the airfield here, we would need to wait half an hour for landing permission and we don't have the time.

“You can land that drop safely, right? If not my co-pilot has volunteered to fly you down personally. Don’t worry, he’s carried lost ponies to safety in his legs before.”

Ten meters? Yeah I could land that. At least as long as I knew it was coming.

“Yeah, I can make that just fine. Go ahead and open the ramp for me,” I said as I unbuckled the crash webbing and stood up.

“No problem,” the pilot said, the ramp beginning to lower with a mechanical hiss. “Sorry again.”

“It’s fine. I understand schedules,” I said, giving a weary glance at the large plasteel crate which occupied most of the small cargo bay.

I had no idea what was in that. But well, Uncle Sky did say it was time sensitive. As in, the thing in the box had to be at a place able to safely store it within a very narrow window of time, and for reasons I had not been told, could not be teleported.

That’s the kind of thing you hear about at the beginning of a sci-fi movie where everypony dies at the end.

I walked to the rear of the cargo bay just in time for the ramp to finish lowering. I smiled as the fresh sea-side air filled my nose. I’d missed that smell. It felt comforting, warm even.

I closed my eyes to take in the scent for just a second. The soft tap of cloth muffled hooves on metal made my ears twitch. My eyes snapped back open, revealing a middle-aged unicorn stallion perched on the cargo ramp.

I’d never seen him before.

He was a monochrome, like Master Cho, except he was purple from nose to hoof. A deep, rich, royal purple, with a darker electric purple mane and tail and pale lavender eyes. Or rather, eye. His left eye was covered with a patch which dented inwards too much for there to be an eye beneath it, but a pale, ghostly, blue glow did leak out from around the edges, implying some sort of implant lay beneath the black cloth.

His mane and tail were cut very short, sitting at a length almost but not quite as short as military regulation cuts. He had a cutiemark, but I couldn’t make it out due to a blurry patch of arcane light covering his flanks.

His most notable and interesting feature was the bionic wings attached to his back. Firstly, they were not equine wings, those were shaped and scaled to resemble griffon wings. Second, I knew those prosthetics, those were Rarity’s designs, but they lacked synth skin and the usual holographic plumage. Instead, they left the plasteel and titanium bare, and the guide cables for the flight fields which would be hidden in the center of each feather exposed to the elements.

The skeletonized wings worked despite lacking these cosmetic features, as they were spread in a way which clearly indicated the stallion had just landed on the edge of the ramp.

I would have panicked at his sudden appearance, but he was wearing a light gray vest with the academy's crest embroidered on the vest. I couldn’t help but notice the vest was cut in a griffonese style, likely so it would fit on over his wings.

“Who are you?” I asked suspiciously.

The stallion turned his head to look at me, seemingly proud at first, but immediately frowned as his eyes made contact with my own.

“Bionic eyes are cheating, Sherbert,” he grumbled irritably.

I knew that voice! So THIS is what Master Yoshi looked like.

“Hey, I can’t help having had the old ones popped by... a... psy...cho...path,” I grumbled slowly trailing off as a subconscious realization became conscious, and Yoshi became instantly terrifying.

My ears drooped as I instinctively walked backward away from that stallion with the pointy teeth. All of them. Pointed. Filed down. Made to rip and tear flesh…

“My teeth are the result of growing up in a rural Griffon community which didn’t tolerate plant eaters,” Yoshi said as soothingly as he could. “It’s alright. Everyone reacts like that. Just remember that if I wanted to eat you, I would have by now. After all, I know where you live, have access to your room, and this is the first time you’ve ever seen me despite knowingly standing next to me many times. Clearly, I’m harmless. To you at least.”

OH SWEET SISTERS, THAT’S COMPLETELY CORRECT! AAAAAAAAA!

I-including the harmless part… But since when is fear logical? I mean, Luna’s mane, why would you point that out when your smile screams ‘unnatural predator’?

“That- That makes me super glad I don’t sleep anymore,” I admitted with a fearful wince. “What are you even doing up here?”

“Making sure this shuttle wasn’t about to drop a platoon of soldiers into the dojo,” Master Yoshi answered honestly. “It wasn’t announced, Rojā asked someone to take a look and well, I can fly.

“I am happy to see you on your hooves again, Sherbert. Nahrina and Kazumi said you appeared to have been beaten to death. I’ll go fetch them for you. Wait below.”

Master Yoshi snapped his wings open, their pale white shimmering flight field instantly glowing, forming a bat-like ‘membrane’ between the wing’s cable-rachis’. A second later his wings caught the air, pulling him away from the edge of the ramp in a distinctly griffon flight maneuver.

I guess he really did grow up with griffons. No pegasi would ever depend on their air currents to get lift like that. They’d just make their own.

Remembering that the shuttle had places to be and a ‘totally safe’ cargo which contained ‘absolutely no’ alien super predators nor ‘any other kind of super death in a box’, I quickly channeled my magic into my legs and jumped off the edge of the ramp.

I’d landed these kinds of jumps before without the aid of magic. You just had to flex your legs on impact and roll forwards. Extend the duration of the fall, spread out the impact force across time, lessen the damage to your body. Just like a parachute, only orders of magnitude less effective and even more orders of magnitude more dangerous.

The real question was could I just jump and use my magic to-

I hit the ground, legs flexing slightly, hooves loudly cracking against the stone tile I landed on. I felt my magic shove the impact aside, a slight wave of dust shooting out across the ground while a mild twinge of pain raced up my legs.

Not bad! That only felt like a four meter drop. I should experiment with this.

I heard the shuttle’s hydraulics whine as the ramp began to close. I looked up to watch the shuttle leave. I always liked watching them fly. The harsh, angular, vaguely teardrop shaped, wingless shuttles just sort of floated there, like pegasi. It’s just kinda neat to see a huge metal machine hang in the air like that.

As the shuttle’s warbling-hum faded into the distance, Rin and Kaz came running out of the dining hall. I could see the relief on each of their faces as the ran up, practically tackling me in a group hug.

Kazumi buried her nose in my neck. Adorably, that required her to rear up.

“Thank goodness! I was worried you’d be disfigured for life,” She said, hugging me tightly around my neck. “I know how people treat you for being damaged. That would have been the worst possible thing…”

I flinched. “Okay, I know I lost an eye, but… How bad was it?” I asked, ears laying back in worry.

Rin let go of my right side and gently traced a large patch of my face with the point of one hoof. The point contained my eye, obviously, but also some of my jaw, temple, and cheek.

“So, all of that. Push that in about a centimeter,” he said bluntly.

“Ow,” I winced, closing my eyes tightly for a second. “Thank goodness Tilk’s good at reconstructive surgery. Though I’m a bit sad that I don't get to wear a cool mask or something.”

I could be like Princess Cadence’s bodyguard! That mare always had on that badflank featureless chrome mask. I could have gone to the Crystal Empire and been like ‘Sup, sister? Where’s the badflank disfigured warrior store at? Do you have any coupons I could use?’ That would have been cool.

“I’m just happy you’re alive,” Kaz said as she gave me another squeeze before letting go of my neck… So she could fly up and look closely at my face.

“Hmmm, your doctor did a very good job. A bit too good. Your face is perfectly symmetrical. It wasn’t before. Most ponies aren't. But that’s okay! I don't think anypony else will notice the difference,” Kaz decided with a satisfied nod.

I raised an eyebrow. “How did YOU notice?” I asked suspiciously.

Kaz’s ears drooped with embarrassment. “Um… No reason…”

“She’s got a photo-shrine of you,” Rin helpfully informed.

I snickered, a grin spreading across my lips. “Seriously?”

Kaz shot Rin a dirty look, then gave me a loving kiss on the nose. “Tough mares are still mares,” she said before giving me another hug. “I’m glad you’re not dead, disfigured, or… Well, I was worried you’d have PTSD. But you seem to be normal.”

I blinked in surprise, but still returned my tiny mare’s kiss. “Why would I have that? I just got my ass kicked. I wasn’t in the middle of say, a Griffon Kingdom assault on a major military base.”

“Uh… Because absolutely any trauma can cause PTSD?” Kazumi and Rin said together.

“Wait, really?” I asked with a confused frown.

“Yes!” Kazumi said, looking at me oddly. “How do you not- Oh! Right, you’re not a doctor. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder can occur in anyone after any dangerous or extremely stressful event. Not everyone develops chronic fear responses for a particular event, but with how badly you were beaten, and how near you came to a brutal death…

“W-well it seemed like a possibility. But you’re fine. Yoshi said his bio-scanner didn’t pick up any symptoms of mental trauma, and he showed me it the other day, it’s really badflank and-”

Kazumi shook her head quickly. “Uh, that’s a bunny trail. I’m sorry. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I’ve been beaten up a lot before,” I laughed, shaking my head slowly. “There’s a mare back in Ponyville named Ash Meadow who hates me, I’d say um… Probably about the same as Mai does. She never tried to kill me but she did tie me up and threatened to slice me up with some glass once.

“The only thing that stuck with me from that is how no one believed me that Ash did it. Which is bullshit, because her special talent is lying. So like, how does everyone not understand that she lies all the time since people are inclined to believe her? I just don’t get it.”

Kazumi’s eyes darkened slightly. “I don’t suppose you know this mare’s address… Do you?”

I nodded. “Of course I do, it’s-”

Rin held up his hoof in the ‘stop’ gesture. “Wait, HOLD IT!” He demanded. “So, you slipped free of your bonds, made it to adults while bleeding from a lot of different wounds, said that you were attacked by a specific pony, and no one did a goddamn thing?”

I shook my head rapidly. “Oh no, of course not! First off, I said she threatened to cut me, not that she actually did. Well, not intentionally. I got a nick on my left leg.

“My parents called the Guard, and they sent two guards to Ash’s house and had her arrested. Where she successfully lied her way out of it and convinced them that I’d fallen through a skylight while freerunning.

“And the Guard reported this to my parents, who believed them since I was new to free running and knew I hated Ash. They decided I was lying and punished me. That’s when I realized I would need to learn to fight because no one was going to help me if that happened to me again.”

Kaz hugged me again. “I’m sorry… No wonder you have problems asking your family for help.”

Rin tapped a hoof to his chin. “Huh. PTSD sticks with you till it’s worked out with psychotherapy. So, since Yoshi didn’t pick up anything in you, you didn’t have any problems with being tortured then,” he mused to himself.

I nodded. “Right. It’s just pain and abuse. It’s not that bad. I mean it would be weird if I saw a friend explode and didn’t have any problems from that but like… You know. I got hurt. It was scary. It’s over now. No one I care about got hurt. So, you know. No biggie,” I said with a shrug.

Kazumi raised an eyebrow and gave me a worried look. “Um, okay. I, um… You won't be that lucky forever. You need to be more careful in the future.”

I nodded. “That’s why I’m here! So I can resolve situations I can’t escape or de-escalate,” I replied with a smile. “Don’t worry, silly filly. I’m fine.”

“Except for that whole you almost died thing,” Rin pointed out. “I overheard mom and Master Rojā debating on when to start you on weapons training. It’s going to be soon. If you pick the Naginata as your starting weapon, I can show you some of my people’s tricks. We use similar weapons.

“More importantly, I can give you one of my spare vambraces. They’ve got dimensional pockets in them. You'd be able to carry a weapon on you at all times. Which is good, because most casual attackers will run if you turn out to be armed, and well, if they don’t it's always safer for you to be armed.”

I nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Hoof to hoof is beaten by gun. As Kazumi proved. I’ll do it,” I agreed, turning back to look at Kazumi. “Hey so… Did Mai make it?”

Kazumi nodded. “I had to remove a leg, several meters of intestine, half a lung, and several bones too crushed to repair, but yes. She’s alive. Turns out she’s allergic to most pain killers. Swells up like a balloon if you give her morphine. Heh.”

The evil gleam in Kaz’s eye made me want to backup a bit. It also made me wonder if… Well…

“You- You didn’t put that on her medical file so she’d be given surgery without anesthetic, did you?” I asked hesitantly.

“Nope!” Kazumi giggled. “She actually is. I discovered this after giving her morphine about twenty minutes into the amputation when I got tired of her screaming ‘no drugs!’ over and over again. It’s also in her file, but I didn’t read that at first. I was too angry.

“I-, I wound up giving her to another doctor to finish up. She hurt you, Sherbert. I was about to break my Hippocratic Oath. Then again, I’m pretty sure that by leaving her alive I did harm to others… So it was a loose-loose there.”

I nodded once. “Okay, where is she now?”

Rin gave me a happy smile. “It’s okay, she won't hurt you again. She was arrested and according to a new friend of mine who's a police Sergeant, Mai’s going to be sent to the penal colony on Exile’s Isle. It’s a Venisneighlan penal colony. So if Mai wanted to do anything to you again, she’d need to find a way to survive and make a living there first.”

“Oh,” I said, my ears perking. “Well, that’s good. I was all for giving her a second chance. I mean, sometimes ponies do stupid things when angry. But um… I sort of spent a lot of the ride back trying to figure out ways I could kill her if she attacked me again. I- I didn’t like doing that but well... If it’s clear someone wants you dead, what else can you do?”

Rin nodded again, giving me a concerned look. “Well, it’s fine now! You’re completely safe,” he insisted.

“She’s being sent to a tropical island,” Kazumi countered. “That’s hardly what I would call ‘ensured to never hurt you again’.”

Rin rolled his eyes. “If Mai wanted to escape from Exile’s Isle, she would need to:” he said, inhaling in preparation for a long rambling statement. “Not be killed by any of the other serial killers sent to the island, survive the vicious inter-gang conflicts, and endure the total anarchy you get when you just dump a ton of psychopaths on an island and call it a prison.

“If she succeeded at that, Mai would need to find a way to remove the explosive rune collar that’s now welded around her neck. Then she’d have to find a way to escape the island which would involve slipping past a military fleet and elude diviners who have samples of her blood. After she pulled that off, she would need to then find a way to cross about a thousand kilometers of kaiju infested ocean while also successfully navigating to Neighpone.

“Once back on Neighpone, she’d have to evade police who would be alerted to her escape and have prepared for the likelihood of her returning to her country of origin. Assuming she landed on the closest part of Neighpone to Exile’s Isle, she would have another thousand kilometer journey overland, on hoof, to get back here.

“Where she would have to get to you, and because all of us would have heard about that, she’d walk into your room one night to kill you and be beaten into a bloody paste by the entire Dojo who had been hiding in the rafters or something. Meanwhile you’d have been sent back home for safety and have been twelve thousand kilometers away the entire time.

“You’re safe.”

I nodded twice, thoroughly impressed. “Yeah, I have to agree with Rin here, Kazumi. That’s pretty safe.”

Kazumi nodded and gave me another tight hug. “I- I know… I just want to see the person who hurt my mare fall into a black hole, and then watch that black hole rapidly evaporate into nothing more than black body radiation, which is sucked out of this universe via a tear in spacetime, and that universe then experiences a false vacuum collapse, and then that dead universe has its remains ejected into the void.”

I blinked twice. I had no idea what half those words meant. But from the sound of things…

“Sooo… Really, really, really, really dead?” I asked.

She nodded once. “I love you. You got hurt. I’m upset I couldn’t do anything…” She muttered, kicking the ground with one hoof.

I gently picked Kazumi up with my magic and set her down on my back. “I love you too, Chibi. Feel better up there?” I asked, turning my head around to look at her.

Kaz nodded and gently clung to my back. “Yes actually. This is nice.”

A thought suddenly occurred to me. A terrifying, horrible, evil thought! “Oh no! Kaz, did you get your stuff out in time or-”

Kazumi nodded and gave me a hug around my neck. “Yes. Rin and I moved everything over after you were taken to the hospital. It’s a good thing he was here to help, I couldn’t have moved that on my own.”

She seemed extra huggy today. She must have been really worried. I’d have to make her super happy tonight. In a fun way. Heh heh.

“Yep! Why don't you just hang out up there? I’m pretty sure that Rojā wants me to run laps or something. We should go find him,” I said as I began to walk towards the dining hall. “Was he eating with you guys?”

“Actually, he’s out doing a thing,” Rin informed as he jogged a few steps to catch up to me. “We can do anything we want today.”

“How about we go get some ice cream?” I suggested. “Uncle Sky tossed me some credits before I left in case I needed to get some painkillers or something for the new eyes. But they’re fine. I’ll pay.”

“We should go to the parlor on Soaring Crane Lane. It’s awesome,” Kazumi suggested, her voice slipping back into her usual ‘tough mare’ sound.

I looked over at Rin. “Never been, but if she says it’s good, I’ll give it a shot,” he answered.

“Cool, let’s go,” I said, turning around to face the gate.

It was nice to have all this behind me.

Sherbert - 8th of Solar Dusk, 26 AE

Horsiekoshi High School, Neighdo - Neighpone

During my first year, I’d really cracked down and focused on school. I’d had to. If I hadn’t I would have failed. Without the potion treatments, I would have had zero time to do anything besides train and do school.

So this year I’d decided to memorize my textbooks in advance. I hadn’t done all of them yet, but I had read at least the first few chapters of them all before school started today.

I thought that would help.

It didn’t.

It made school more painful.

“In the third year of the Lupon Era,” Mister Rekishi lectured as he paced up and down in front of the blackboard. “A small band of criminals successfully stole the Imperial Crown from the very bedside of the young Emperor Ako Segata-”

I groaned and leaned back in my seat. I knew this. All of it. Including the half an hour of rambling he’d droned out before that last sentence.

You’re just reciting the book… Why are you just reciting the book? I already read the first few chapters of the textbook. You’re just quoting it! Stop! Do teaching!

“The theft of the crown had major political ramifications, as during that era it was widely believed the crown itself was the source of the Emperor’s power and right to rule. This is of course not the case, those were more superstitious days wherein few understood the magic which can reside within a bloodline. The scramble to claim the crown that many Shoguns engaged in, resulted in the beginning of what we now call the Warring States Period-”

Why am I here? I could just read the stupid book, memorize it, and then read more books to learn about the details of things I find interesting.

Why are you here mister teacher stallion!? You’re actively hindering my learning by making this a tedious slog! I could have read another three chapters of the book you’re just quoting back in the time it’s taken you to get to page seventeen of the first chapter!

“This, of course, was the time when the Imperial Family lost control of Neighpone,” Mister Rekishi continued in his dry monotone of doom. “It was a dark time for the peasantry with widespread famine and little to no defense against our great enemy, as the Shogun were more interested in finding and keeping the Crown-”

SISTER’S BLOOD! I can’t take this anymore! This is the biggest waste of my time possible! He’s literally just reading a book at me, a book I’ve already read. He’s not even deviating from the book by saying ‘um’. He’s just regurgitating a script he has perfectly memorized.

Buck this. I’m out. Take me away brain!


The screams and the sounds of fire nearby were the first indications that Twilight wasn’t in Ponyville anymore. It was a long few moments before her other senses returned to her, smoke quickly filling her lungs as she tried to take a breath. The unicorn coughed as she tried to stand. Gone was the familiar feeling of grass and soil, replaced instead with smooth stone beneath her hooves.

“Ugh, girls? What happened?” Twilight slowly opened her eyes to see just what was going on, and she could only gasp.

Gone were the comforting fields of grass outside Ponyville. The ground was perfectly level and entirely stone, and the blockish buildings surrounded her on three sides were ablaze. As her senses recovered further, Twilight's analytical mind continued to take note of the details of her surroundings, including two metal boxes that she now found herself between.

Twilight’s ears perked up upon hearing voices beyond the boxes, and she cautiously peeked around the corner to see the source. On the other side of the clearing, a trio of figures emerged from between the buildings. All three were bipeds, two taller ones and a smaller one clinging as tightly as it could. The largest one shouted and turned back the way it came while the other two continued to run.


“Hey, Sherb,” Rin’s hoof shaking my shoulder snapped me out of my daydream.

I shook my head slowly. Why was it that every time I let my mind just wander like that I always dreamed up some sort of really weird action-adventure scenario for Aunt Twilight to be in? Eh, questions for later.

I looked up towards the front of the room. The Great Devourer of Time was busy packing up his books to move on to his next group of victims. Class was over. I had not been called on to answer something.

Good.

Turning to my right to look at Rin I asked. “Whats- Oh, um, hey?” I said as I saw the mare standing slightly behind him.

Average height. Simple smoky white mane and tail. Her mane was left long, untrimmed but bound back in a tail-shape. Very curvy. Not fat, the skinny graceful curvy. She wasn’t Neighponese, or at least I didn’t think so. Mostly because she had the counter-clockwise horn spiral of a Marelunder, as well as a speckled fur pattern. Also a thing most common in Marelund.

Thing was, I’d seen her before. She was the mare who had run off before Mai started beating me to death. She’s spoken a bit… Come to think of it, she had a Marelundish accent. Yeah, she had to also be an exchange student.

“Yeah so, she says she wants to apologize to you for something,” Rin said, pointing at the mare over his shoulder with one hoof. “I have no idea who she is but she said she wanted me to ‘help be a bridge’ so like… Having trouble with someone aside from Mai or, what?”

“Actually she was with Mai’s brute squad,” I informed Rin, giving the mare a critical look.

Her ears were downturned, she had a worried and remorseful expression, and I do remember she booked it before they actually attacked me.

“I was,” she confirmed. “I’m here to apologize for that. I thought ‘we’re going to kill her’ was just Jock Talk. I know there’s a tradition of street fights between rival dojos, and I haven't done one in my four years of training yet, and um… I wanted to? So I joined up with their group since I figured if a whole bunch of ponies were going after you that you had to be really good.

“I um, I didn’t know it was an actual murder being plotted till they made me sign the blood oath on the briefing packet. I- I wasn’t sure what to do. I mean, to get away. At that point, I realized they would kill me if I ran so I couldn’t turn them in.

“I was going to fake going down in the fight so I didn’t have to hurt you… That was wrong of me. Honestly, the stupidest thing I have ever done…

“I should have taken the packet after signing it and turned it into the police, but I didn’t. You got hurt because of me and I feel horrible about it, and I’m also legally responsible for your injuries. I- I’m so sorry.”

She really did sound sorry. I mulled it over for a few seconds, trying to decide if I believed her or not.

“Eh, It’s fine. I’m okay, she’s in jail, and I got robot eyes out of it,” I decided after thinking it over, giving her an accepting smile.

“It’s not fine,” the mare disagreed, shaking her head violently. “I put you into harm's way to the point where you nearly died. I’m an exchange student too. I am still bound by the laws of Marelund. Do you know what this means?”

I shook my head slowly. “No. I’m afraid I didn’t pay much attention in school back home,” I apologize.

Rin shook his head. “Don't kick yourself over it, Sherb. Marelund’s laws are a messy tangle of… Mess.”

“He’s completely right,” the mare laughed bitterly. “But there are some places where the law is very very clear. See, since I almost got you killed through negligence on my part, I owe you my life,” the gray mare explained slowly.

“Wait, what? Like, a life debt?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She nodded. “Yes. The law is very clear. ‘Any member of a non-ruling house who brings harm upon another individual through gross negligence on their part must extend their services to the harmed party in proportion to the harm inflicted.’

“Three hundred years ago our judges ruled that ‘any member of a non-ruling house’ meant anyone of any nation who isn’t a sovereign, prime minister, or president. And that ruling stuck. Sooo yeah, you count in our legal system as a party I harmed. I have to pay you back. If I don’t do that… When I go home I’ll be enslaved for life.”

I recoiled in genuine horror. “Wait, are you serious!? Marelund still practices slavery?!”

She nodded. “Yes. But you have to break a law first because it can only be applied as a criminal punishment… Which is why our laws are such a mess… But it’s not the worst place to live! Every country has problems and- Ugh! I’m not going to have this discussion again. I’m sorry but every time I do it gets really heated and people yell at me.

“The point is, I have to pay you back equally for what I did to you. Since I would have gotten you killed if not for the intervention of a third party, you have four options.”

“And those are?” I asked quickly. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure you don’t wind up a slave!”

Her ears drooped back sadly. “Uh… Weeeell, about that… Your options are: First, You can kill me. Eye for an Eye. I’d appreciate it if you don’t do that. Not that I think-”

“Like bucking Tartarus I’d do that!” I shouted, tail standing up in a mixture of alarm and offense.

“Oh! Good,” she sighed in relief. “So, uh, second, you can sell my services to someone of your choice for the duration appropriate to the harm inflicted. Since we count attempted murder as murder, legally I killed you. Sooo that duration would be my entire life.”

“Yeah, no. That’s slavery,” I said, shaking my head quickly. “Not going to happen.”

Her worried frown deepened. “Um… Great… See, option Four is you do nothing and I go back home where the government claims me as property. Deciding not to decide gives your choice to our government. I’d wind up working at some corporation forever. Whichever one decides to buy me.”

“Then that leaves option three,” I said slowly. “Which is you serve me for the rest of your life…”

I felt my stomach turn a bit at the thought. This was wrong...

She nodded once. “Yeah… It’s slavery or death. Frankly, my best option would be for you to take me. I- The reports have already been sent back home. I got served notice via teleporting documentation. The file exists. I can’t like, change citizenship or anything now. They lock your files in these kinds of things so you can’t escape the law.

“So um… I know Equestrians abhor slavery but, I really really don’t want to die, or be literally chained to a desk for the rest of my life, or be sold off to a random person you know. So please, PLEASE take me and just call me a squire, or a maid, or servant, or sex pet, or whatever makes you feel comfortable because every other option for my life is just not okay!”

“Buck…” Rin and I groaned together after a long silent moment.

A moment which gave me enough time to see the entire homeroom staring at us.

“You um… You should have picked a more private place for this,” I pointed out.

She shook her head violently. “Couldn’t. I have half an hour until it's been four days since your attack at which point someone would teleport me back to Marelund to collect me under the assumption I’ve fled from the law. I’ve been trying to find you this whole time. Please decide so I can teleport the paperwork over.”

Well, this was a bucking ethics nightmare! What the hay is wrong with her homeland!? The only option that didn’t completely suck for everyone was for me to take her.

Either I became a slave owner, or she died, or she would be literally chained to a desk. Oh, wait… Shit. She was BUCKED!

“I um, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Equestria does not permit slave owning… Except for the Crystal Empire, but that’s a different kind of slavery, and it’s actually regulated to a certain number of hours per- um...,” I said with a deep frown. “I don’t know what to-”

“Actually, according to the Treaty of Pomneigh Equestria agreed to uphold punitive service law within their borders assuming the Owner is an individual and not a company, organization, or whatever,” she corrected. “The treaty, by loophole not design, means an Equestrian could buy slaves from Marelund and keep them, though it was intended only to allow Marelunders to travel with their households and not lose… Property.”

“Why?!” I demanded angrily.

“In return, Equestria got a mutual cultural respect law which prevents Equestrian citizens from winding up owned as property in Marelund,” she replied flatly.

“Oh… This is massively unfair!” I moaned, running a hoof over my eyes. “You had plans, and dreams, and, things!”

She nodded. “Yes. And you could totally let me do those things. Legally I only have to be a part of your household. You can make me do whatever you want.”

I blinked once. “Wait, so like, we could legally get away with you just being my roommate?” I asked skeptically.

“Yes. The law does not govern how you can use me. Why would it? That’s not in their interest,” she grumbled, looking down at the floor.

“In that case, sure. I’ll do it. But only until we can find a way to get you out of it, okay?” I said as I gently put a hoof on her shoulder. “Oh, um, what’s your name? I’m Orange Sherbert.”

“My name is Ash Heap,” she introduced with a polite smile.

I blinked once. “Your parents are MEAN!”

She blushed lightly. “Um, no. It’s because I have naturally very long fur… I keep it trimmed. If I don’t I look like a pile of ash if I curl up to sleep,” she admitted with a little embarrassment.

Okay, that could be kinda cute. Still a bit mean though.

“But that means I’ll have to call you Heap,” I objected. “I um… There’s a bully back in Ponyville who has a thing for picking on me named Ash Meadow and, um… Yeah. I’d rather not think about her. I’ll get angry.”

Ash shook her head once. “Then don’t,” she suggested.

“That’s a bit hard…” I prompted, frowning apologetically.

Ash sighed. “Is she a unicorn?” she asked.

I shook my head no.

“Then this is easy. Good Ash, Bad Ash, I’m the one with the horn. Don’t let one person ruin a good name,” she advices, before going a bit pale and stepping back from me. “Uh, I mean… If that pleases you.”

I cringed. “Okay first rule, none of that shit! Be yourself. This sucks enough without a stupid power dynamic. Oh, and while I’m at it, no lying about your feelings. Just be normal.”

“Thanks! But uh, legally speaking, I still need to follow any order you give me,” Ash apologize, her horn glowing gold as she teleported a small sheet of paper and a fountain pen onto my desk. “Could you sign that, please? Quickly. I mean take the time to read it, but you know… Clock’s ticking.”

I nodded and turned to read the paper.

Some part of me expected the paper to really be some sort of trick. Like I’d be signing a power of attorney writ, or I’d be dropping all charges against Mai so she’d walk free. Nope. It restated everything Ash had told me, only using very cold, cruel, and evil sounding legal phrases.

Marelund. Sucks.

Twilight has to know about this already. Celestia has to know about this already. Some actual motherbucking superhero type person has to know about this already. Somepony should do something!

I finished reading, sighed one last regretful sigh, and sighed each of the seven different indicated places.

“Sorry…” I apologized again as I levitated the paper to Ash.

“Don’t be. I… I was too afraid to think about legal consequences of my actions. This is my fault. Honestly, the best outcome here was be an Equestrian’s live in servant. So, thank you!” Ash said with a genuinely happy smile, her horn lighting up as she teleported the papers away.

Presumably directly to some bureaucrat in her evil, evil, evil homeland.

“Soooo… What now?” I asked Ash hesitantly.

“Am I allowed to own property?” She asked hopefully.

“Bucking- YES! I said live normally!” I violently objected.

“Thank you. In that case, it would be best for you to inform your master of the situation as I need to move my effects into your household by sundown. I will see you after School. I uh, I graduated last year… Was going to go for secondary education here too. Can I-”

“Yes! I said live normally!” I said again as firmly as I could. “I’ll make the call. Move when you want to… I’ll see you later, right?”

“Obviously,” Ash laughed. “Goodbye… Sorry for putting you through this.”

“I’m sorry too,” I apologized again as she walked out of the room.

The now dead silent room.

“Well… That sucked,” Rin moaned.

I looked around the room, wondering where Kaz was during all of this. Only to notice both her and the bathroom pass missing. That was going to be an awkward conversation… Speaking of…

I rubbed my throbbing head with a hoof and pulled out my magegem. “Call Master Rojā…”

████████████████ - 9th of Plantation, 29 AE

███████████ - ████████, Neighpone

The shadowed mare shook her head as if in pain. “Sherbert is completely correct. Someone does need to do something about Marelund one of these days,” she said darkly.

Rojā nodded once. “Yes… Why not you?” He asked out of genuine curiosity.

“Because no one wants to start that war. They’re a Sovereign’s Guild Member State. Attack them, the rest of the guild members are treaty bound to attack you. Dismantling the institution through legal means is… Well, it’s been tried many times. Someday someone will figure out how to cut that Gordian Knot,” the mare sighed regretfully. “Was showing me that part of this story anything more than an example of her character?

“And I’ve already noted that her subspecies instinct’s differences includes some sort of ‘trauma shield’. Don’t think I missed that. I'd give my forelegs for that little gem of an ability.”

Rojā nodded. “So would I, Ma’am. As for important information; Ash quit the Flying Horse Dojo, but kept contacts there. She kept Sherbert informed about the Dojo’s planned street fights so she could avoid them.

“She also, well, I’ll show you that bit next. Suffice to say, despite Sherbert’s insistence that Ash treat her contract as ‘roommate by force of law’, Ash sort of became her Squire, Buttler, Maid, Bodyguard, friend.”

The shadowed mare raised an eyebrow. “Why?” She asked.

“Well… Since showing you would take the time you don’t have today, in short, if this were a chapter of a manga I would call it ‘Attack of the Love Triangle’,” Rojā replied with a chuckle. “Um, well, except Kazumi was okay with multiple partners, which was something she thought through before becoming Sherbert’s marefriend. Since she knew Sherbert wanted more than one.

“Besides, Kazumi counts Ash as a stallion. So there’s no compassion for ‘I’m her mare! Not you!’.”

The shadowy mare raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Sorry, Ma’am! I’m certain you understand how your sex can get in multi-partner relationships. It’s one of the reasons they are so uncommon, after all- Oh… Crud. I mean-” Rojā backpedaled.

Rojā’s commander snickered then burst out laughing for a few short moments. “Haha! Rojā, that’s not remotely what I meant to imply with my gesture. “I wanted to know why Kazumi thinks the way she does. I wasn’t criticizing you for your fairly apt if simplified statement on the behavior of mares within a herd relationship.”

“OH!” Rojā said with a relieved yet nervous smile. “Well, that’s rather easy. Ash is one of those fifteen percent of ponies who are born between the gender-lines, Ma’am.”

“Um, pardon? I don't quite understand you. What do you mean ‘born between’?” The shadowed mare asked, leaning forward slightly.

Rojā paused. “You don’t know?”

“Obviously not,” she replied.

“Sorry. I find it odd, given your hobby, that you’re unaware of-” Rojā trailed off, slowly shaking his head. “Long story short, there’s a mutation a long dead archmage spread through ponies thousands of years ago. Sometimes, you get a pony born with both sets of genitalia. A true functional hermaphrodite. Currently the odds of that happening is about fifteen percent, at least they are outside of Neighpone. You don't see that mutation much here.”

The mare frowned slightly. “Wait, it’s that common? I just didn’t understand your wording. I’m aware some ponies are born like that. Though, I’ve only ever met one and he didn’t mention it being common. Humm… Perhaps I should study other cultures peasantry more than I currently do.”

Rojā nodded in agreement. “Point is, Kazumi thinks of Ash as a stallion, not a mare, because she has both parts. Which is a fair judgment, despite her preferred pronouns and general appearance. She’s quite the tomcolt.”

“Ah, I see,” the mare said with a nod. “I assume that Kazumi hated this situation as well, but agreed there was no better option, given Marelund’s barbaric law?”

Rojā nodded. “Yes. That conversation is basically just everything Ash said here, repeated again and again. Then Kazumi agreeing that Sherbert did the best thing she could and offering Ash some hot chocolate.”

She nodded again, then frowned and held up her hoof. “One moment, Captain,” she said before leaning away from her seat. Her holographic projection distorting and partially vanishing as she left the seat’s general area.

Rojā waited patiently for several minutes, after which the mare returned to her seat. The projection flickering as her entire body registered with the device once more.

“I’m sorry, Captain, I have just been informed of a few important matter which I must deal with tomorrow. It’s time we finished this business. I’m afraid that you will have to cut some of the fat from your presentation.

“We have dawdled a bit. I will admit I did get a little sucked into the narrative here, this is partially my fault. But it’s time for the important stuff. Give me this case’s meat. Now.”

“As you wish, Ma’am,” Rojā said with a polite bow as he cued up the next clip, only to pause and look up at his superior with a frown. “May I ask something, Ma’am?”

“Go ahead,” the mare confirmed.

Rojā nodded thankfully. “Yoshi mentioned a secure transport crate in that shuttle, and now that I’ve seen it from Sherbert’s eyes, it was headed for the Imperial Palace. Do you know what was in it? I don’t recall any prototype machines for the Imperial Family from three years ago.”

“What was the date, Rojā?” the mare asked simply.

“It was the sixth of Solar Dusk,” Rojā answered.

“Indeed it was. Now, what event important to the Imperial Family occurred on the sixth of Solar Dusk?” The amare quizzed.

Rojā facehooved. “The Empress’s birthday…”

“Quite. And we both know that Pinkie thinks if you teleport Pinkie’s cakes they taste terrible. That was a cake delivery,” the mare answered with a cheeky grin. “Now, seriously, we need to finish this.”