Mommy Dearest
“I dare you to go inside,” the smaller colt chirped.
“Yeah!” the larger colt agreed. “I… I double dare you to go in!”
Golden Oats gulped as she turned away from the pair and toward the smallest cave entrance she’d ever seen. Once, for school, her and her classmates had visited a cavern tall enough to fit three carriages stacked atop each other. This cave, on the other hoof, seemed like nothing more than an overlarge crack in the wall.
Golden Oats faced the two colts. “Why would I even want to go in there?”
The smaller colt chuckled. “Because he double dared you to! Now you, like, have to!”
“Just because you double a dare doesn’t mean you suddenly have to do it,” she said, stomping a hoof. “Does that mean I could quadruple dare the two of you to stand on your heads and sing for me? Since four is twice as large as two?”
The two colts took a moment, seemingly calculating in their heads, before smirking again.
“Everypony knows that dares can only be doubled,” the smaller colt said.
“Yeah!” echoed the larger colt. “Those are the rules! Now you have to go in!”
“This is dumb,” Golden Oats muttered, staring down at her hooves. “I’m going home.”
“But don’t you want some of the treasure that’s in there?”
Even though she had her back to the smaller colt by this point, she could still picture the greasy smile on his muzzle. It irked her. Lots. But what irked her even more was the fact she’d stopped in her tracks right after hearing the word “treasure”.
Soon images of wooden chests full of golden bits filled her head. A jewel-coated scepter lay atop it all. And what was that behind the chests? A solid gold bicycle, perhaps?
“—heard it from a colt who knew this filly that—”
Golden Oats had completely lost focus.
“Wait. What?” She gave her head a tiny shake.
The smaller colt rolled his eyes. “I was just saying that this colt I knew heard it from this filly he knew that a friend of a friend of hers said there was treasure in that cave. And that anyone could go inside and get it if they wanted.”
“Then why haven’t either of you gone in yet?” she asked sharply.
“We already did,” the smaller colt boasted, lifting his chin. “Last week.”
The larger colt cocked a brow. “We did?”
In return, the smaller colt kicked him in the shins. “Yes! Remember?”
The larger colt winced. “Oh, now I remember! Yep! Totally!”
If the colts’ terrible back and forth routine wasn’t enough evidence of the lie, the fact that the larger colt wouldn’t have even made it passed the cave entrance sealed it. Now Golden Oats was curious if even she could make it through.
She knelt down to the narrow opening. It was smooth and diamond shaped.
And very, very dark inside.
“Hello?” she called, receiving the faintest of echoes in return. She stuck her head inside and felt the tip of her horn scrape along the top. She lit her horn with the only spell she knew at the time—a mass of energy hovering around the tip of her horn not much brighter than a candle.
“Helllloooo!” she called again. She could almost imagine her words bounce from one smooth surface to the next, the walls were so clean cut.
But the next noise that left her mouth was that of a shriek. One of the colts outside had given her a hard shove and pushed her the rest of the way through; the schoolbag on her back and all. Her quick outburst echoed down the rest of the darkened tunnel.
“You jerks!” she yelled, picking herself up and facing them through the opening. “That hurt!”
The colts’ faces looked much brighter than before; now that she stood in the dim of the cave and they remained out in the warm afternoon sun. A cool chill soon crept up her spine.
“Just trying to help,” the smaller colt said with a snort. “Anyways, try to stay away from the Cave Bug while you’re in there.”
Golden Oats gulped. “The what?”
“The Cave Bug,” he repeated. “Don’t go near it.”
“Couldn’t I just step on it?” she asked curiously. “Or roll it up in a tissue if I wanted to?”
“It’s a big bug.” The colt’s eyes widened as he said the word “big”, as if telling some ghost story to a hushed audience.
“Yeah!” the larger colt agreed. “Super big!”
“Some kid in Canterlot said he found a giant bug under his bed last month. Gave him a bunch of bits to go back to sleep or something.”
“Now I know you’re lying!” Golden Oats exclaimed. “There’s no treasure in here!”
The colt shrugged. “But what if I’m actually telling the truth?”
Timidly, Golden Oats faced the remainder of the tunnel behind her. It couldn’t go on forever, could it?
“Will you at least wait for me?” she asked, remaining focused on the darkness ahead of her. “Until I get back?”
“Sure, we’ll stick around.” The colt paused, eyeballing his friend. “I have to help him find that yearbook he lost, anyways.”
Golden Oats let out a breath and took a step further inside the cave. She repeated the process. Once more and again. She was about to ask another question of the colts outside, but could already hear them arguing.
“You’re sure you lost it out here?”
“Positive.”
“Then, where is it?”
“I dunno. It was in my bag the last time I had it. Maybe it fell out?”
“Fell out where?”
“How would I know?”
A few meters inside the cave, most of its creepy atmosphere had been cleanly swept aside. As far as Golden Oats knew, most caves had various tunnels or winding paths to them; odd shaped rocks, stalactites, or stalagmites, too. The cave that she was in now? None of that.
At one point, she took a right and found the path ended only twelve steps later. The same for when she took a random left and found the end of the path in less than six paces.
The only point of interest was when Golden Oats had to crawl on her belly to slide under a round rock jutting out from the ceiling. Afterwards she had to nab her schoolbag off the ground and drag it back to her.
And just like that, Golden Oats reached the end of the cave. Just how long had she been marching alone in the dark? It felt like mere moments. Three minutes, tops.
Her shoulders slumped and she sighed.
“All this way for nothing,” she muttered to herself miserably, glancing around the small area. She half-expected the two colts from school to hurriedly jump out from behind a rock to try and scare her, one of them dressed as a big, nasty bug, perhaps. But, no, she found there was no surprise laying in wait at the back of the cave for her, after all. No treasure, either.
“Only a dumb stone wall!” she spat, shoving her hoof against the cool rock surface.
She gasped as it easily pushed inward, creating another small hole to enter; flickers of red light danced around its edges. Tentatively, Golden Oats stuck her head inside, stopping the spell on her horn. Instantly, she wanted to gasp again, so she held a hoof against her mouth to stifle it.
The very last room inside the cave was a whole lot larger than the rest. Round and tall, the tips of its ceiling remained in shadows. Countless stacks of books circled the room, piled atop each other until they toppled over. Most texts looked beyond repair; tattered, torn, and even wet.
Taped up on the walls were dozens of large pictures, crude and childlike. Markers? Paint? Pencil and ink? A small fire burned on the floor well away from anything that might catch. It must’ve been magically made, too, as no trail of smoke drifted off of it.
From the room’s small doorway, Golden Oats counted four mismatched rugs and one immense wooden desk at the very center of it all. Two of its legs had been broken and replaced by thick stacks of books. One chair sat in front of it. Another behind.
And in the chair behind the desk sat…
“Miss Cheerilee?” Golden Oats chirped, forgetting she was trying to be quiet at the time.
It took Miss Cheerilee an awful long time to set the book in her hooves down; she kept glancing from its pages down to Golden Oats. She smiled, not showing her teeth. Her eyes remained half-lidded and not as expressive as usual.
Maybe due to the dim of the room?
“Golden Oats,” Cheerilee greeted warmly. “How nice to see you again.”
“But… I… umm…” Golden Oats was truly at a loss for words. “What are you doing in here, Miss Cheerilee? Weren’t you just at the school? You only dismissed us a few minutes ago.”
“It doesn’t take me long to get here,” Cheerilee replied, her small smile never departing from her lips. “If you know the right way in.” She motioned to the chair in front of the desk. “Come. Have a seat.”
Golden Oats did as she was told, clamouring onto a chair that felt as if it might fall to pieces at any moment. She knew the whole situation was strange—beyond that, actually—but having Miss Cheerilee as her teacher over the last few years basically meant that if she asked something of you, you usually did it.
“Umm… do you live here?” she asked her timidly. “Like… in here?”
Cheerilee laughed. Not the same bubbly laugh that Golden Oats had grown accustomed to. “Oh, no. I’ll only be here for a short time, I think.”
“So, you have a normal home? Like most ponies?”
That question gave Cheerilee pause. “I… used to, yes. But I’m sure I’ll find a permanent place soon.”
Now in a higher position up on her chair, Golden Oats was able to make out the book Cheerilee had been glancing at before. It was their school’s yearbook, left open on a particular page. Another yearbook lay underneath that one, from a school Golden Oats had heard of but never been before.
“Have you finished your coloring project yet?” Cheerilee asked her cheerfully.
Golden Oats’ face flushed. “Oh, umm, no.” She grabbed at her schoolbag and pulled out a half-finished drawing. “I’ve only done the background and outline, really. I thought we had until Friday to hand it in…”
Cheerilee nabbed the drawing from her suddenly, bringing it close to her face. Her smile widened until dimples appeared. “That is correct. I was only curious how you were coming along. A few students have already submitted them, you see.” Without looking away from the drawing, Cheerilee held out a hoof, indicating the dozens of other child-made drawings taped to the walls. “This is very good, Golden Oats. Rather pretty, just like you. I’m sure it’ll look even better once it’s complete.”
Cheerilee was so focused on the picture before her that Golden Oats took the opportunity to lean across the desk and inspect the propped open yearbook. Another icy chill crept up her spine. Golden Oats could see her very own small picture near the bottom, and a much larger one of Miss Cheerilee at the top, circled in red marker, alongside the words, "KIND, SWEET, LOUD."
Golden Oats’ mouth went as dry as dust. “You’re not really Miss Cheerilee, are you?”
Not Cheerilee kept the drawing covering her face, blocking her from view. The fur around the hooves holding the edges of the drawing flickered from purple to black in random intervals.
“Oh, no, of course not,” Not Cheerilee replied evenly. “You wouldn’t have entered if I pretended to be anyone else.”
It was strange how numb Golden Oats felt at that moment, as if she was somehow watching the scene and not actually participating in it. She surprised herself by asking, “You started the rumor about the treasure, too, didn’t you?”
“Clever filly.”
Even with the paper still blocking Not Cheerilee from sight, Golden Oats thought she might be smiling. This time with her teeth visible.
“So ponies would come visit you?”
All at once, Not Cheerilee’s fur settled on purple again. She lowered the paper and was still the same Cheerilee copy as before, only now slightly confused. Sad, too?
“Now just why would you say something like that?” she asked in a hushed tone.
Golden Oats shrugged. It still felt like she was watching events unfold without her involvement. “Maybe you’re lonely?”
“Lonely?” Not Cheerilee said, seemingly disgusted by the word. “I have my books… I have my stories… I have my pictures. I have my memories. My many, many memories! There is only one other thing I need in this world to keep going and—”
“Have you thought about not living in a spooky, dark cave?” Golden Oats cut in. “I think if you weren’t so difficult to find, more ponies would come visit you.”
Neatly, gently, Not Cheerilee folded the drawing back up and set it at the corner of her desk. She looked away from the filly as her eyes shimmered. But only for a moment.
“Nice attempt, young one. But that’s just not how things work around here.”
Again, she smiled. Big and bright. And, somehow, she had more teeth in her mouth than Miss Cheerilee ever had. Sharp ones, too.
“You came in here searching for treasure, did you not?” Not Cheerilee said in a far lower voice than before. “Bits piled to the ceiling? Riches beyond measure?”
She left her chair abruptly, roughly knocking it to the floor. That was also when her skin began to change—not all at once, but over time. It was as if the skin around her body had turned to liquid and someone had just dropped a pebble into it, causing it to ripple.
“Or is it a wish you want, instead?” Not Cheerilee asked angrily, slowly circling around the desk. “Isn’t that how all good fairy tales end? With a wish?”
Her skin continued to ripple, revealing sharp blackened bones and joints underneath. A large, jagged horn soon poked through the Cheerilee-disguise, as did long strands of damp, turquoise hair that clung tight to her chest.
From the moment Not Cheerilee had left the desk, Golden Oats had done the same, galloping toward the area she thought she’d entered from. The only trouble was that the hidden door blended in so well with the stone, she couldn’t find the right area to push.
Terrified, she shoved at all the stone she could reach. “Stupid rock! Move!”
Her frantic search for the hidden door came to an abrupt halt as she felt warm breath atop her head. Turning around, she kept her back pressed tight against the stone.
Not Cheerilee smiled down at her. “Now what is your wish, little mare?”
Golden Oats’ jaw trembled. “I wish my Mommy was here!”
Not Cheerilee stepped to her right, causing Golden Oats to do the same, relocating her placement on the wall. She lowered herself to her, and the rippling on her skin ceased, leaving only a blackened, smooth figure before her. It seemed Golden Oats had been talking to the bug inside the cave all along.
The Cave Bug asked her, “Who says I can’t be your Mommy dearest?” before breaking out into a laugh that was close to a scream.
Suddenly, Golden Oats felt the wall behind her give way and she tumbled through. She wasted no time once out the other side and ran as fast as she could into the pitch-black darkness. She illuminated her horn only when she remembered the section of cave she had to crawl through. Good thing, too, as it appeared only a few seconds after she cast the spell.
Once she reached the cave entrance, she shot through the small hole like a champagne cork and didn’t bother looking back. She must’ve been over ten meters away before she realized neither of her schoolmates had waited for her. Which was fine, because…
“Mommy!” Golden Oats yelped. She had never been more relieved to see her mother standing outside her school, waiting to walk her home.
Her mother turned to her with a well-worn frown. “Golden Oats? Where did you wander off to? I’ve been standing here for—”
Her sentence was cut short due to Golden Oats launching herself into her chest. For over a minute, Golden Oats tried to explain exactly where she’d been, all the while burrowing herself more and more into her mother’s chest. Muffled gibberish, basically.
“You left that behind,” her mother told her. “I would hate for you not to finish it.”
Prying herself away from her, Golden Oats spun around and found both her schoolbag and half-finished picture laying on the grass. Her pupils shrunk as her eyes widened.
“Hurry home now.”
But when Golden Oats spun around again, she found she was completely alone. Shivering, she reached for her bag, noticing something happily twinkling inside. She opened it.
Ten golden bits.
Some treasure, after all.
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Cave Bug needs hugs, I think.
Great read! This particular sentence was the creepiest, dark-tag-earning one I've read in a while:
Something that stuck out to me was the abundance of italicized/emphasized words--not Golden Oats's inner commentary, which is fine--at the beginning; there are so many that with each one I read, its intended emphasis dwindled, and finally I reached the point where I started emphasizing them only because they were italicized and not because the content necessarily called for extra attention. Granted, the following examples have been plucked from their original positions in the text and formatted to illustrate a point, but still:
Other examples (I did not list them all) of unnecessarily italicized words and phrases include:
This could be made even creepier if you removed the "Now" and just had this:
However, some of the italicized words work quite well contextually:
By the way, the following passage made no sense to me; I read it several times and could not understand it:
So Not Cheerilee steps to the right, and Golden Oats steps to Not Cheerilee's right...right? Who is lowering herself to whom? All the "hers" are a bit confusing. Did Not Cheerilee stop changing and transform into a non-holey version of Chrysalis? What does "It seemed Golden Oats had been talking to the bug inside the cave all along" even mean?
Watch out for passive voice, as well--
You could rewrite this into something like:
The "shrunk" below should be "shrank":
Also, I forgot to mention this earlier, but near the beginning of the story, the "passed" here should be "past":
Overall I liked this story--it's quite well-written and has a certain macabre charm to it. I could easily see this as being the first in a kind of timeless, lesson-teaching "Aesop's fables" for young ponies ("The Tale of Golden Oats and the Cave Bug," perhaps), or maybe a "ponified" and less dark version of some original Brothers Grimm tale (the kind Disney scrubs of the graphic materials). The story just needs a bit of polishing in the areas of grammar and syntax, but other than that, nice work!
I now really want to see a full story on a runaway Chrysalis told from the perspective of foals she interacts with. This is really good!
Creepy...
I LOVE IT!
What. The. Taco
From the time Oaks found the changeling down there I just felt...pitty.
I would know for a fact that she is potentially hostile and dangerous, but nearly as much as her psyche would be by then.
She "has her books. Has her pictures" and that is what she needs.
totally not real conpany.
Her mentality was slipping. And she was beginning to get tired, and not in the sleepy way either.
But seriously, by the time she brought that picture up to her face, I would put on a brave facade and start trying to ask her if she wants weekly visits.
Instead of stupidly running for the wall, which automatically marks you as preY to any predator, I would try to remain calm and negotiate diplomatically.
Chrysalis is smart. Incredibly so. But she also feeds on love and uis obviously lacking.
Like I said, I would feel sad and sorry for her, and...maybe even try to make a Freind of her.
If she isn't too instantaneously hostile, there would totally be a chance to nurse her back to health and make a powerful freind.
8269254
Something has been bothering me for a while now, why the hell are you everywhere in fimfiction? It seems that I see your comment everywhere I go. (Sorry for the rude language, but how are you everywhere?)
Wow so much feels for Chrysalis
8269331
You are literally the second person to ask me this in this week.
My answer: who knows?
let's just say I get around a lot and always have something to say.
But if it bothers you so much I can conplete the picture by dropping random and meaningless comments in every story in your library if you share with me.
How does that sound, hmm?
...kek, I jest.
I really don't have an answer for you, sorry.
I just like to read a lot and I exclusively read from fimfiction, so every time I finish a story it is one from this site.
8269357
oh god no
8269376
how cute.
I love these bug stories!
I hope this storyline continues and Chrysalis gets a regular visitor
Spoooky
I like to wonder off to. I think you meant wander.
8269183
Well, to spoiler, there should be a myriad of options at the top of the text box. One of them is three bars, which creates a drop-down list of more options when you click on it. The spoiler button is the Sp inverse.
8269401
FOXTrot2 is watching you 5 hours ago
Well, the dark tag is certainly appropriate, what with how dark it is inside the cave!
Between her "The very last of my kind, in fact." comment in Bed Bug and Cheerilee currently being a school teacher, these stories would have to take place after S6E26 but not by more than a few decades at most.
8269908
mwahahaha!
Pffft! Piss easy! In fact I literally have a can of bug spray on my drawers right now. So long, suckers in the comments below and above mine! I'm off to get that treasure!
Well, it was... something
IMO I don't think this story could be considered dark. If it had ended with Chrysalis doing something really nasty to Golden Oats *then* I would consider it dark.
Let her rot until she earns her redemption.
8269822
Ah, thank you very much (although, given the rest of the comments, I'm not going to bother putting the spoiler tags on this post).
Aww...
Menacing, yet still manages to be heart-warming and cute. Sooo much Roald Dahl here...
I really love this
seriescollection of little short stories with Chrysalis here. Reminds me of some of the stories I read growing up.This picture seems apropos here. The Tim Burtonesque creepy/cute atmosphere really fits IMHO:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/23/16421.jpg
8269669
The Clown Bug
Chrysalis sighed as brushed her floofy orange wig out of her eyes and bent down to retrieve the red rubber nose that had fallen off her muzzle. She plucked despondently at her bright, friendly blue and yellow jump-suit with the large, friendly orange buttons.
Off in the distance she could still the panicked screams and wails of terror of the stampeding colts and fillies.
"I have made a grave mistake"
Chrysalis
scareshands out life lessons to fillies and colts is a very interesting little side project. I'm enjoying it heavily. Though now I can't help but wonder. We've had two good little ones. What happens if she runs into someone, not so good.Yeah, My brain really started going in overdrive once I read that line. Keep up the amazing work man.
I've never felt more terrified yet eagerly curious of Queen Chrys--erm, Cave Bug. Just what has she been up to?
Oh this sounds like a classic school playground ghost story. I totes gotta read!
8269064
To be more precise:
Cave bug needs hugs, badly.
Not in the slightest. The tag is unwarranted. If you want dark, go read Eyes Without a Face.
If she wants to scare foals, just wait till Nightmare Night. Whooo-boy, the mischief she could get up to on that holliday, not to mention gorge on sweets (because bugpones love sweets). On the other hand, how long till she screws up and gets cornered by the Elements? Kind of hoping it'll be them and not the guard as they tend to shoot first and shoot again before asking questions.
Curious. She scares them yet she likes them?
Ten bits?! What a rip-off!
Great fic. I hope Chrysie finds some peace someday though! Not necessarily as a neon deer mind you, but I feel like our filly friend was spot on in her observations here. Bed Bug needs a happy ending, eventually. Hope there's more to come!
NBD, you've done it again
I did briefly wonder, when Golden Oats' mother turned up and was obviously Buggywug in disguise, if this might have a twist ending revealing itself as a prequel to The Mother Of Many Faces, but then I quickly realised that Golden Oats and Nightingale didn't really line up in age, personality, or one of them having a name.
The rippling skin was a very cool idea, as was the hands holding the yearbook changing colour.
I really hope you find a way to continue these stories that isn't just repeating the same thing - I thought you did really well completely differentiating this from the first story, I just can't think what other scenarios might be narratively available
Still, if anypony can fill a cave with treasure, it's the one who commits identity theft professionally, right?
Also, the Twysalis fan in me needs to point out that to some ponies, a cave of books is filled with treasure
8273254 Glad you enjoyed it.
Yeah, I know a lot of people were wanting more "bug under the bed" type stuff, but... there's really not a lot left there. This route seemed somewhat interesting. Dark, too.
The most I could see would be two more stories. Another random child one and a final one involving the colt from the first story some twenty years later. At the moment, both are just a thin idea and not a full story, so I'll keep'm on the backburner and see what happens. The third one would most likely be "heartwarming" and the last just plain "sad". Spoilers!
8272612 I think it's a power thing. She likes being in control and since the Mane Six have really just kicked her to the curb, any power trip to her is a good trip. She likes tricking others and being manipulative. I actually really like her characterization in the comic books. She loves her kids, but has no problem throwing them around, yelling at them, or just hating them.
And she's funny.
8270651 Someone not good? Like someone wanting to turn her in?
That's an interesting idea.
Yeah, I hoped that part got people curious. My biggest worry was that at 1k words into the story, we still hadn't gotten any Cave Bug. But the thing is that we still had to set up everything and convince Golden Oats to actually go in the cave. Not just, "Get in there, you!" "Okay!"
Also... another DARK story featured?
I must be popular enough to get away with stuff now! Coming up next... the clopiest of cloppy clop involving ten thousand Sombras! 
8270607 That picture is great. Maybe it'll show up in another story.
8269669 Everyone wants a happy ending.
Haven't you read my past work?
8269064 I would say you are correct.
8273471
This seems apropos:
Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band - We Deserve a Happy Ending
8273464
Hmm yeah that could work. I was meaning more along the lines of we've had two nice kids. Now what if it was a bully or something of that nature.
Also, don't even joke like that mister. I need my mysterious, dark and thought provoking fix. My other writer for that left a few months back.
may I make a suggestion have Chrysalis actually meet with Cheerilee in the third one a week before Nightmare Night and have her actually show up on Nightmare Night to scare the crap out of them when they go to the nightmare statue to offer up the candy have chrysalis reveal herself to actually be the statue this would be after Starlight glimmer and all the others changed Thorax and the rest of the changelings into whatever they are now it could be said that Cheerilee already knows who Chrysalis is and that's why Chrissy looks like Cheerilee in this one if you've placed this after that episode.
8273464
She sounds conflicted and self contradictory.
Because of shapeshifters, my family would bleed each other every time we got separated! Cuz changeling blood is green! And so is alien blood from those aliens in "Strange Invaders"...
Anyway, it worked pretty well until the anemia started...
So Chrysalis is a top tier prankster? I'm actually ok with this.
Boo!
You know, Chrysalis, can only keep this up for so long before, Luna, comes after her for messing with the children.
You know, I think she is just a huge troll, but slso lonely as hell. And note she got her wish, and the treasure she sought.
Has 10 bits become a symbol for a tragic ending?
Long story made short: Chrysalis manipulated the colt into pouring out a large quantity of love, and in return paid him 10 bits.
8286726
The exchange rate between Equestrian bits and USD comes out to around one bit to .35 cents, or 10 bits to about tree-fiddy.
8304513
That's what Equestria gets for letting Celestia print bits all willy-nilly.
These are amazing, please dont stop!