Tests Can Be Hell (R)
A small unicorn filly gasped for air, her last attempt at hatching the dragon egg having robbed her of breath. Desperation clawed at the edges of her mind, scraping at the insides of her skull. The young girl had already tried every spell she could think of and had moved on to combining the ones she knew in every conceivable way in a desperate bid to find some new angle. Headless to the possibility of burning out, she raced headlong toward exhaustion and defeat.
Her tiny lavender horn shot another spray of sparks over the inert egg. The splash of warm magic did nothing, and the egg continued to sit there, unchanged.
“This one for sure!” Announced the filly.
She glanced nervously at the judges before turning back to the egg and beginning another spell.
The judges, however, were hardly paying attention to her actions for they had seen this exact scenario play out a hundred times.
The youngest of the judges, a lean unicorn stallion sitting closest to the filly’s parents leaned over towards the couple and whispered, hiding his mouth with his clipboard.
“How long does it usually take for her to give up?” asked the stallion.
The filly’s father frowned. “Why does that matter?”
“Wait no! This one will do it!” The increasingly nervous and now visibly sweating filly cried out before unleashing another futile spell onto the unmoving egg.
The judge arched an eyebrow and leaned closer. “Well, you see this test is all about what happens when they fail, it's not possible to hatch a dragon egg with traditional spells.”
Both parents exchanged a look of confusion and annoyance. Her father grunted in annoyance and crossed his forehooves.
“Well then settle in for the long haul, because we are going to be here until her mana runs out," he stated grimly.
The youngest judge shuffled nervously and looked at his fellows who mirrored his sentiments. Though they grumbled a little, they didn't end the test. Celestia had set aside an entire afternoon and usually, students only took a few minutes before giving up, meaning they had hours to sit here and watch the filly’s futile attempts.
Said filly’s mother was slightly angrier than her husband and bristled at the judge’s apathy. “How could you just crush a poor little filly’s heart like that? Do you know how terrible failure feels when you’re that age?” She pointed a hoof at the lavender filly mustering mana for another spell.
The judge refused to meet her gaze and whispered back much quieter than the filly’s mother had. “It is very important we know how each potential student reacts when met with failure,” he replied in a low tone.
“Hahaha, that was a joke! This next one will totally work!” Cried out the ever more nervous filly, showering the egg with a jet of useless multicolored sparks that were meant to make a living creature grow, but which did nothing to the egg.
The unabashed panic that spread across Twilight Sparkle’s face made her mother’s anger flare hot in her breast and she leaned closer to the judge, whispering angrily. “How can you just sit up here and let her do this? Look at her!” She hissed, pointing a hoof at the visibly sweating and panting young mare at the front of the classroom.
The judge however took it in stride and merely sighed. “Look, Mrs. Velvet Sparkle, we aren't supposed to mention this but Celestia believes your child has incredible potential, but the last time one of her students was met with an immovable object, she reacted… badly. The princess merely wishes to know how your little filly reacts to failure outside of her control.”
Nightlight sighed, and took his wife's hoof, squeezing it gently. “See? There is a reason. This may not be the best day of her life but you heard the stallion. She could be Celestia’s next personal student, you know how much Twilight idolizes her,” whispered the stallion.
The mare sat down, grumbling quietly to herself but not letting go of her husband’s hoof. “She better not be traumatized by this or I'm sending the bill for the psychiatrist to the crown,” Velvet muttered bitterly.
Her husband merely patted her hoof and smiled gently. His smile faltered somewhat when another bright flash of power nearly blinded everyone present.
It was followed by a growl of annoyance and desperation from the filly. Twilight lit her horn once more, sweat pouring down her head. As her panic grew, her mana reserves began to dwindle, which in turn fed the swelling desperation pushing against the inside of her chest.
I will not give up! She thought, valiantly. Unaware of the sheer futility of it all.
In a nearby room, Celestia’s brow creased and she leaned closer to the crystal ball. As if the slight change would reveal something she hadn't already seen.
Her assistant shuffled nervously beside her. “Are you sure she is a good choice princess? She seems very… nervous.”
Though Celestia didn't move, the room seemed to grow hotter, making her assistant panic. “N-n-not like that's a bad thing, she's just a filly after all!” Feather Touch added a little too quickly.
Celestia leaned in and with a flick of her magic, she zoomed in on the filly as another spell was launched against the egg to no effect.
“That right there was a spell that a child four years her elder would have struggled with casting but once and Twilight has used it a dozen times, each in a different manner than the last,” Celestia said plainly.
“I… See.” Feather Touch made a quick note of that on a nearby piece of paper. “Such aptitude from one so young. Are you going to take her on as your student?”
Celestia didn't answer at once, merely staring deeper into the orb, a frown marring her usually serene face. “Yes, I will. The only question is what I'm going to do about her… neurosis.”
Feather breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m sure she and her parents are going to be thrilled when they hear the n-”
A sudden flash of light so bright it pierced the protective charms placed on the crystal ball, lanced out of the magical object and temporarily bathed the small room in a blinding lavender glow.
Feather blinked rapidly, trying to clear the purple spots that covered the entirety of her vision. Celestia however recovered much faster and stood up so suddenly that it sent her chair skidding across the viewing room.
“I don't know how, but she's flaring," Celestia announced. "Feather get the guard and send for the special magical containment unit, mana of this level will no doubt draw demons.”
“D-d-d-demons?!” Feather cried, backing away from the crystal ball as if a demon was about to crawl through the viewing device.
To both mares’ horror another bright lance of power shot out of the filly’s horn, vaporizing a section of a wall and shooting hundreds of meters into the sky only to finally dissipate when it impacted a dense raincloud.
“Go, now!” Celestia commanded.
Feather leaped from her chair and made a beeline for the door, ignoring the spots still lingering in her vision. The second she was gone Celestia channeled her magic, fortifying herself with numerous charms and enchantments while eyeing the crystal ball carefully.
She wanted desperately to leap to the filly’s side and rush to her ponies’ defense but certain precautions had to be made against demonic incursion and rampant undirected mana. While she was layering herself with all the protective spells necessary, Celestia stared intently into the crystal ball, gauging what she would be up against.
The scene within was pure chaos, ponies were turned into plants, and strange creatures pushed their way into this reality only to vanish when blasted with a solid mana bolt or other errant spell that ended them before they were even fully manifested. Despite the destruction being wreaked, Celestia knew it wouldn't last long. Her prospective student was a prodigy with far more mana at her disposal than unicorns twice her age but in the end, she was still just a child. One that had spent a better part of an hour slinging spells and had no doubt been exhausted before she had even begun to flare.
As if on cue the frequency of the otherworldly monsters being brought into existence slowed, what creatures had been summoned and not immediately sent back to their plane through accidental murder flickered in and out of existence, the magic binding them to this reality wavering.
Celestia counted a few low-level mana demons and a single half-formed umbra that were able to stay semi-solid. The smaller demons were merely imps, four-legged vaguely pony-shaped demons with red scaly skin and huge gaping maws filled with razor-sharp teeth. Though frightening, they were only the size of a child and lacked any sort of defenses other than a set of rather sharp forehooves. They would be mopped up quickly enough but the umbra was quickly solidifying and would be a problem if allowed to escape into the city. The enormous shadow demon occupied a full quarter of the room, flickering in and out of existence, limbs gripping tight the frayed border between realities.
It had sensed great power and with it came a boundless hunger for that power.
Celestia had just finished her personal protection spells and had begun readying a teleport when a rainbow wave could be seen on the horizon, its many-colored mass approaching at incredible speeds.
The moment of confusion that crossed Celestia’s mind made her spell fizzle and she silently cursed herself for getting distracted.
Celestia’s teleport took no time at all to reform but by then the rainbow wave was already upon them. Though it crashed harmlessly through most objects, when it touched the flaring filly a massive surge of raw mana pushed its way into the unicorn’s mind.
Like a fire that had gas thrown in it, the filly’s power erupted in an inferno of undirected spells and raw, unrefined mana.
Horror gripped the princess' heart as she saw beasts the likes of which she had hoped to never see again leap into existence. They easily tore through the thin barrier between worlds and threw themselves headlong towards the source of the power that had drawn them to this world, oblivious to the fact that the same power destroyed them by the score with accidental ease. Still, they advanced, their hunger outweighing what little reason they were capable of.
With a crack, Celestia released her teleport and within an instant, she went from the viewing room to the center of the inferno.
If you had asked Twilight if she knew pain before her test she would have said yes, of course she knew pain. Everyone did. She had broken her right foreleg once when she was fairly young after climbing up a rather tall bookcase to get a tome she was too impatient to wait for an adult to assist her with. That was the most painful thing she had ever experienced and the event had made her scared of heights and the encyclopaedia of fungi for many years.
However monumental that pain had been in her young mind, it was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. When the flare started the filly believed she had died and gone to Tartarus, when her flare redoubled and surged with horrifying new life she knew she was in Tartarus. There was no physical way the normal universe could create such horrific agony, therefore she must be in Tartarus, she reasoned.
She could feel nothing, see nothing, hear nothing. Her senses were muted to the point of complete uselessness, giving the intense, all-consuming pain a clarity that was truly the stuff of nightmares. Her every thought was drowned within the flame, and in that moment all she knew was suffering.
And then it was gone.
One second it was there and then the next moment there was nothing.
It would have been immensely satisfying had Twilight been capable of thinking, however, the moment the intense agony was gone Twilight's consciousness left with it. The pain had been so great that it forced her to stay conscious through the entirety of it but with the pain's departure, her mind went with it.
Power the likes of which no mortal should ever wield had coursed through her and burned away everything the filly was. Leaving behind a void, without thoughts, emotions, or memories. More than just power, the pain that had coursed through her tiny body had been too much, too fast with everything else gone there was only instinct. There was no more pain, not even a sense of loss for in that moment Twilight Sparkle ceased to be.
She could not mourn the loss of her being for she had never remembered existing in the first place, all that she had ever been was now burned away.
And in that void, the pony that had been Twilight Sparkle slept soundly without memories, thoughts, or emotions to disrupt her slumber. She knew only the void, oblivious to the Tartarus around her.
Moments before the pain was gone and Twilight Sparkle with it, Celestia appeared with a flash of divine light. That golden illumination obliterated several of the lesser demons unfortunate enough to be too close to the exit of the solar princess' teleport. Without giving the monsters time to think Celestia unleashed another spell she had ready, sending a wave of the purest light imaginable through the room and obliterating all but one of the demons.
The umbra merely laughed, its shadowy form rippling around the light so the spell couldn't touch its foul and twisted flesh. With the spell's passage, the umbra’s form rippled and solidified once more, revealing a great bear of shadow given form by malice and hunger.
Centuries of combat and millennia of experience were a far more powerful weapon than demonic flesh and hate made manifest. This Celestia knew for certain, and which she would prove then and there.
The alicorn moved like water, easily shifting out of the way of the demon's attack with a grace that would have stunned a mortal mind. She brought her wing down on the creature’s back as she dodged its clumsy strike. The enchanted appendage slammed into the beast with all the force of a freight train, laying the beast out and crushing whatever foul organ served as its spine.
Conserving her momentum the princess spun and angled her horn down at the demon, ejecting a beam of holy light into the prone demon’s back. The light washed over the demon and obliterated it utterly, destroying its physical form and forcing its spirit back to whence it came.
With the demons gone, Celestia turned to the still-flaring unicorn. The alicorn had already readied a containment spell and several healing spells but was hesitant to unleash them too soon. She turned her eye to the small mountain of slowly vanishing demon corpses piled up around the filly and confirmed none would stand in her way.
All that preparation, all her experience in combat, and proficiency with magic meant nothing the moment the next creature from Tartarus appeared before her.
Had Celestia been more observant she would have noticed the great fiery portal that had opened the moment she had looked away from her target. She had grown arrogant in her confidence and assumed that all resistance had been dealt with, guessing wrongly that the pile of demon corpses was glowing due to reality repairing itself and not the entrance of something far more powerful than mere imps or even umbra.
The demonic corpses fell into the portal and vanished, replaced by a far more terrifying demon far more alive than those that came before. The creature that emerged from the fiery portal easily dwarfed the others that had arrived earlier, its huge four-legged bottom half resembled a pony but that was where the resemblance stopped and a screaming multitude of clawed and tentacled limbs poured out of the beast’s upper half.
For all her sins and arrogance Celestia was no fool and she was already readying another set of offensive spells when she saw a second fiery portal beginning to open, this one ringed in purple and fed by Twilight’s magic.
That shouldn't be possible, it would take a far more talented spell caster than a mere demon to-
Celestia ducked a clawed limb that had attempted to cut her left wing from her body and leaped over a set of tentacles that had tried to knock her legs out from under her. She had to end this quickly, if the flare continued more powerful demons would begin to take notice of all the errant mana and take the plunge into their reality. That was without even considering whatever was about to emerge from the steadily growing portal closest to her prospective student.
Summoning forth the holy light of the sun Celestia grit her teeth and unleashed far more power than was necessary to obliterate the first demon.
The moment it was destroyed and its essence sent back to Tartarus Celestia leaped towards the flaring unicorn, only to be slapped aside by an enormous black hand that emerged from the purple-tinged portal.
“Ah ah ah.” A finger waggled at the alicorn. “I saw her first.” The voice was deep, booming off what walls were still left standing.
Celestia growled and shot to her hooves, ignoring the pain that bloomed across her face.
The second she stood however something hard connected with her midsection, knocking the wind out of her and launching her into the air and towards the back of the classroom where she landed in a heap of broken desks and chairs.
Celestia had heard her ribs snap and her enchantments shatter under the force of the blow but she knew better than most that failure to act quickly would mean a swift end. With a flap of her wings and a push of her legs, she jumped back up into a fighting stance, horn blazing with power as she searched for her attacker.
The second she saw him, her heart sank. She had seen his hand and not realized, she had heard his voice and refused to believe but now as he stood before her in all his terrible majesty she was forced to acknowledge that the beast was back.
“What, not happy to see me, Celestia? I’ll only be here for a moment so don't you worry your pretty little head” The voice cackled.
It was him, Tirek. The beast that had brought her newly founded nation to its knees shortly after Luna’s banishment. Back again, and this time she had no Elements of Harmony and no allies to stop him.
“How did you get here? What do you want fiend?” The princess spat.
The large centaur merely laughed. “It seems as though this little thing has made this place so close to Tartarus that your banishment spell can't tell the difference between this room and Tartarus itself. Oh, and It's not what I want, but who.” With one hand he tore a hole in reality, with the other he grabbed the still-flaring unicorn.
“No!” Panic overruled practice and in Celestia's desperation, she unleashed a powerful but unfocused beam of pure energy into the centaur’s face.
Tirek merely deflected it with a wave of his hand, his defensive enchantments more than a match for such a sudden, poorly coordinated attempt.
“Goodbye Celestia, see you in another twenty years,” Tirek mocked.
With a smirk, the centaur stepped through the portal, along with the now incapacitated unicorn.
The princess raged in wordless fury, unable to unleash her hatred for fear of hitting the filly Tirek held in his hands. Before she even had time to refocus her magic into something fitting to the situation they were gone. Leaving the princess alone in a room of ponies-turned-potted plants and hellfire that still burned on desks and stone walls alike.
A second later the doors burst open and several unicorns clad in holy platemail charged into the room, horns alight.
Upon seeing no hostiles or unicorns in need of magical restrainment they stopped and the mare at the forefront stepped forward.
“What happened here, your Highness?” asked the brave mare.
“He happened,” Celestia whispered.
“He?”
The solar princess shook her head. “It doesn't matter. See to it that the parents and judges are treated for their transfiguration and put out these fires. I have something I need to do.”
Without waiting for affirmation the princess lit her horn and vanished in a flash of light, leaving several confused unicorns to look awkwardly at their leader.
“You heard the princess, get to it!”
A day later and far, far from Canterlot the pony that had been Twilight Sparkle began to wake for the first time.
Whatever she was lying on was hard as stone but much warmer than mere rock. The pony didn't know why that was strange, as she couldn't remember even what a stone was or why it would be weird if it was warm. Pushing aside the slight dizziness that plagued her mind she got into a sitting position and looked around the room.
The walls were black and other than a small torch that burned beside her on the wall there were no other sources of light. The torch illuminated the room well enough, allowing the pony to see the door on the other side of the room and the chest that lay next to it, a simple bucket lay beside them. The chest seemed to be made of some kind of wood and was bound by iron. A simple latch on the front holding it closed. Though the pony couldn't recall what wood and iron were or where they came from, it didn't matter for she had bigger questions.
She looked down at herself, seeing her body for the first time. It was black and spongy looking. Which struck her as wrong for some reason. She touched a hoof to her leg and recoiled when it was met with intense pain. No, that wasn't her body, it was a bandage. One that wrapped around her entire form save for her eyes and a slight opening around her mouth. Her sense of touch returned in full giving her the distinct impression that it wrapped her completely from head to hoof.
A sudden thought occurred to the pony and her forehooves leaped up to her head, pressing against the center of her forehead only to find… nothing.
The pony didn't know why but that brought an intense amount of sadness and she couldn't stop herself from shedding a solitary tear. Though she knew not why, she felt an intense sense of loss at the realization her forehead was flat.
She looked around the room, searching for something that would tell her where she was, the sense of loss quickly fading into the background and disappearing as confusion of a different kind came to the forefront of her mind.
Never mind where was she, who was she? What was she? Her breathing grew hoarse and quick, panic overrode her better judgment and she began hyperventilating. Why doesn't she know anything?
A second before her thoughts would have spiralled out of control the door opened to reveal a strange four-legged creature that had hooves like she did. But where she had a neck it grew a torso that sported two strange-looking appendages attached to it, each with five odd, noodly-looking things on the end of each of them. On top of his head were two great horns and a gentle smile that clashed somewhat with his midnight coat and enormous, well-muscled body over which a simple leather shirt was draped.
Despite his charming smile, the pony felt fear for the first time in her existence. This creature was huge and could easily crush her in one of its weird appendages or beneath its hooves. She backed up until she felt her head impact with something hard. Turning quickly she realized she was already against the wall, with nowhere left to go.
The creature closed the door behind him and took a step closer, smiling all the while.
The pony gulped.
“Hello?” She didn't know what the word meant but some part of her mind told her it was what she was supposed to say.
“Hello, my daughter.” The centaur leaned down, bringing his massive frame close and allowing the pony to see just how many muscles the huge creature could bring to bear if it needed to.
The pony gulped. “What does daughter mean?”
The centaur laughed and stroked the pony’s face, an act that made the pony shiver in terror. “It means I’m your father. I created you.”
Though the pony had a strange sense of wrongness well within it, she also felt a sense of relief, the word father bringing feelings of trust and sanctuary to her mind.
She felt her muscles relax and questions came bubbling to the surface of her mind. “Where am I? Who am I, what-”
“Silence.” The pony closed her mouth and cowered away from the creature. “I will reveal all in time, first things first. Are you hurt?” His tone was firm, but not cruel.
The pony nodded and pointed to the spot she had touched earlier.
The creature nodded somberly, having assumed as much. “Your burns will have to be healed the old-fashioned way as healing magic cannot be cast on this plane. As to why, it seems as though your birth came with far more complications than what I foresaw. As to where, you are in Tartarus, welcome home.”
The pony blinked twice, from his tone this sounded like a dramatic realization but to her, lacking any sort of context, it meant nothing. The centaur smirked at the blank look on the pony’s face.
“Your name and what you will refer to yourself as, is Dog, and that is also what you are. I made you to serve me and that is what you will do for your entire life. Understood?”
The pony nodded quickly, not understanding but also knowing better than to keep asking questions.
The creature looked her over and seemed to think to himself for a moment before standing back up to his full height and walking towards the door.
“Follow,” her father commanded. Dog quickly moved to do just that only to fall the moment she stood. The pain that lanced up her legs was far too much for Dog to take.
The creature that called himself her father stopped and looked down at Dog. “Get up.”
Dog gulped and quickly moved to do as commanded. She was barely able to stand, the intense pain shooting up from her ruined and scorched hooves almost too much for the filly. Already she could feel wounds reopen and blood ooze into the bandages around her hooves. The creature didn't move, merely standing there and watching as Dog swayed on her hooves, the intense agony making it difficult to stay standing.
“Hurts lots, father,” Dog whined.
Dog’s father snorted. “You will get used to it, now follow, we have a lot of training ahead of us.” He turned to leave and a moment later Dog walked after him, whimpering quietly as she followed her father into the dark hallway and into an uncertain future.
Celestia peered into a crystal ball in an empty, silent room. Though the room was similar to the one she had just used twenty-four hours ago, there were several key differences. Now she was alone, had a thick bandage around her midsection and across her cheek and the being she was looking at was not a child but an elder demon.
She had been staring at the creature for nearly an hour, her presence hidden from the demon’s sight by a powerful set of enchantments. In that hour the demon had done nothing but lean idly beside a great black spire, whistling softly to itself while spinning a great sword in one hand like a child would a mere toy.
It was a tall, bipedal creature with two sets of arms and blood-red flesh hidden underneath a set of slate-black plate mail that covered nearly every inch of its body. The only parts of the creature not coated in metal were its eyes and mouth, allowing Celestia a perfect view of the huge grin on its face and the glee in its eyes.
She didn't know how, but this demon knew. It knew what had happened in Equestria, it knew she was hurt and it was basking in that knowledge with great pleasure.
Celestia spun her magical ‘eye’ around the demon one last time, sizing the creature up for anything magical that may explain how he came about this knowledge. Her search revealed nothing, just huge swords and a collection of smaller blades that were so numerous that she didn't bother counting. Though the creature had many powerful Tartarus-forged weapons and a masterwork set of armor, all of the enchantments that lay upon the equipment were either defensive or offensive, nothing that would give him the utility of seeing into another plane of existence.
With a sigh, Celestia refocused her magic and brought her ‘eye’ to the level of the demon’s own. Though she knew the demon shouldn't have been able to see her she still saw the ghost of a smile drift across its ugly, scaled face.
Celestia frowned but quickly wiped away that expression and replaced it with one of cold indifference. The second after she had her feelings in check she dismissed the charm that rendered her invisible to the eyes of demons.
The creature on the other end of the crystal ball smirked. “Hello again princess, how long has it been since last we spoke? A hundred years? No, that’s not right, time moves differently for you.” The creature scratched its chin with a claw. “Probably about fifty-five years, I think,” it said in a mocking, jovial tone of voice.
Celestia’s mask cracked for a moment but was quickly repaired. “Fifty-seven years.”
The demon grinned impossibly wide, revealing at least three rows of sharp, dagger-like teeth. “Ahh yes, how time flies down here, to what do I owe the distinct pleasure of your company?”
Celestia frowned for a moment, reminded again that despite its massive size and warrior-like nature it was still a very intelligent, and ancient being.
“You know very well why I’m here. We had a deal and you broke it,” Celestia accused.
“Ahh yes, our deal. The one that ensures that Tirek does not leave this tower,” the demon threw a thumb behind him. “For the time of no less than one thousand years in Equestrian time or two thousand down here.”
Celestia’s jaw grew tight. “Yes, that one.”
“I assume you met him under hellish conditions yes?” The demon laughed at his own joke, a cruel and barking sound.
“He was in my school Balam! Even if he brought a section of Tartarus with him it should not have worked. How did you allow such a breach of your contract?”
Balam was unperturbed by the princess’ anger and only seemed emboldened by the knowledge that his slight had not gone unnoticed.
“Our contract states that I am not to allow him out of the spire under any circumstances for another twenty years. In that time you feed me a weekly dose of your power. He has not left the spire so I have broken no contract,” the demon grinned and began spinning its sword once more, expecting the conversation to be over.
Celestia grimaced and launched a scanning spell on the room Tirek had appeared in. It was faint but now that she knew what she was looking for she found it easily. As her magical senses combed over the room she felt a sudden… wrongness. She knew this feeling.
The wrongness, coupled with an intense desire to leave came only when a being of one plane of existence traveled to another. The feeling wasn't as intense as she remembered but that was probably due to it fading as this plane slowly mended the brief incursion from Tartarus. Celestia made a note of closing that room while she studied it more intently and dismissed the extra sensory magical perception. Reasoning to herself that the section of Tartarus Tirek had brought with him was from within his spire, thus not negating Balam’s contract.
She looked back into the crystal ball to see the demon’s mirth shift to a frown of impatience.
“I assume you have just double-checked that I have not broken our contract, which, need I remind you, I am not physically capable of breaking in the first place,” the demon added, clearly growing annoyed.
“Yes, I expect something like that will not happen again,” Celestia declared.
“I don't take orders from you, pony!” The demon bared its teeth and snarled into Celestia’s floating eye.
Celestia however merely frowned. Balam had clearly cut a deal with Tirek as well, something not outside the binding realm of his contract with her. She silently cursed her younger self for having rushed the contract. If she had merely been more elaborate in its writing this would never have happened.
The demon straightened suddenly, a thought occurring to it. “Now if that’s all, I have a dog to train,” he announced.
Without waiting for a response the demon turned and opened the great iron door behind it and stepped within the enormous black spire that served as Tirek’s prison.
During that brief moment, the door was open Celestia was afforded a glance within Tirek’s sanctum, and what she saw chilled her to her very core. Standing beside the door, head down in supplication was a small pony covered head to toe in black bandages, visibly shaking and whimpering in barely contained agony.
The last thing Celestia saw was the demon’s smiling face before it closed the door with a slam of grim finality.
As you may have noticed I uploaded two fairly similar stories in the last few hours. If you haven't checked the other one out go here. If you have checked them both out then vote here. The winning story will get a full, extended series and the losing one will stay a one off so choose carefully. Alternatively, if both of the stories get 500 upvotes total I will make a series out of both of them!
The cover art is a vision of a possible future, which do you want to explore?
Editing done by the wonderful everfree pony!
(Oh and its almost the end of the month, meaning now is the perfect time to become a patron and earn a bigger voice in what I update as well as earning commissions and other goodies.)
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Don't normally read dark fic, but I love the mystery and potential for expansion that this story has. I'm particularly fascinated by the emphasis on the bandages--Twilight didn't seem to be hurt that much, so I can't shake the feeling that they've got some sort of corrupting magic in them. Or that there's something more to them than meets the eye. Either way, this story is definitely ripe for reader theories.
Good work--you've certainly piqued my interest!
Damm. So annoyed I have to choose between this one and the other. They're both so good!
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8256975
Why thank you both. Though I will do as I said and only give a sequel to the one that wins, that doesnt mean I wont eventually do both.
I'm not that good on commenting but I want to say, the story is too good for me to forget. Keep it on with the hardwork. It will be definitely worth it.
8257066
Wow, high praise. Thank you very much. Make sure to vote and ensure that it gets a sequel
The Pronoun game. Fantastic.
I prefer the other one
Hmm... this is good too, but i'm just not feeling/sensing the same as i felt/sensed with the other one.
So my vote still goes to the other story
Hnnng, i want both to continue! But alas, if i must choose, I'll go with the first law of magic.
8257091
Oh come on I only used it once in all my stories cut me some slack Jack.
8257833
Don't worry; my irritation was more towards Celestia than it was towards you.
Despite the fact that you wrote her that way.
I would normally give a story of this quality a thumbs up and add it to my tracking list, but I want to make it very clear which story I would prefer had a continuation. So, I am going to give it a dislike just for good measure.
8258013
.... I am not using the like dislike system as a way of gauging which story was more enjoyed im using the voting system that I added in the description of both stories.
I want to give it a like but I can't
8258226
Ehh why? IM using the vote system i mentioned in the descriptions as the judge, not the upvote downvote on this site.
I think this would be a cool long story to read.
8256983
and would love it if you would continue it
. The only problem is I can't find a link to this voting system you have mentioned.
Hey this seems like a great story
8258665
And another like to the story!
As much as I liked this story, I voted for the other. Perhaps it's because it had a more fascinating effect by exploring the inner-mechanisms of magic; however, it would be a shame if this wasn't continued so I hope you get 500 votes for each.
8260303
Fortunetly I said 500 between the two of them and thats already happened.
*sees cover photo*
*fans self*
Voted for the other one. That one was far more intriguing. This one is just a blank pony and thus not really Twilight.
What is this? "BLUE EXORCIST GONE WRONG GONE SEXUAL!!"?
Cool story so far. I voted for this one over First Law but it looks like First Law's upvote count covers the both story option alone so that's cool.
while I do like first law better, this one is intriguing. hopefully we can see more of both!
...If I didn't hate Tirek before...
Why is neck spelled this way?
8837811
I don't have a hot clue. Will fix.
Celestial you fool.
And thusly, the last time Balam is seen or mentioned in this story.
9168402
So far.
I...well, that was a start.
A bad start. I found some of the paragraphs are bit too...wordy, shall we say.
Also, you present Tyrek as a cruel and stupid villain. The first is accurate, the latter is not. I can already see where this is going, but I fail to see how is supposed to gain Twilight's loyalty with that.
We shall see.
Did...did you downvote my comment, Jest?
I will take that as a yes. (Previous comment had a thumbs up, which misteriously changed into a down).
Excellent! My interest for this has gone from 'minor' to 'null'.
Farewell.
9316101
I think you just might be one of the pettiest human beings I've ever 'met'.
What a shitty beginning...
Emotionally, I mean.
Seriously, what the fuck? You killed child in agony, and tortured what is left.
9437864
You do know shes not real right? XD
9437864
It is the darkness of the Multi Universe what do you expect their are worlds as dark and as light as they can be when it comes to the Multi Universe
Yeesh, this chapter has some horrid comments.
A dark first chapter, to be sure. I feel like it's merited, though. The story is about Hell (er, Tartarus), so this level of tragedy and gloom makes sense. I'm usually pretty particular about stories depicting Hell (since most depictions are edge-fests withs tons of slurs and swearing like Hazbin Hotel... *shots fired*), but I like this depiction so far.
9316101
Holy shit just stop existing.
Tirek you smart ass
Honestly, I would've gone ham on Tirek for not only making Twilight his servant but a DOG! He seems to be in his weakest state so that would be easy. Plus, I have no magic to steal.
I mean, probably the most painful moment for me is at the wedding since Chrysalis turns everyone against Twilight, not only her friends but FAMILY AND MENTOR as well. I really don't even rewatch those episodes because of how painful it is for me to watch. She's probably my most hated villain(in canon)
My point is, I guess, I hate when Twilight is hurt and manipulated like that.
Whooooo, boy... Alrighty then... My guess is Celestia can't do anything to save Dog, so Celestia is gonna tell the Night Light and Twilight Velvet that she died... All the while she we will be trained by the worst and strongest Creature in Tartarus