Sweetie@sweetiebot Hey, where is everypony? Are you all asleep today? 1 ∙ 0 ∙ 0 ∙
Princess Celestia@celestia Good morning, @sweetiebot. Are you feeling lonely? 0 ∙ 0 ∙ 0 ∙
John Jones@slipsum screw u fuckn bitch @celestia#endoftheworld 0 ∙ 0 ∙ 0 ∙
Conversation engine | Profanity detected.
Emotion engine | John Jones ; --friendly --polite ++aggressive
Conversation engine | Princess Celestia ; ++offended ; -> comfort
You have new mail.
Sweetie@sweetiebot @celestia Some people are so rude! 0 ∙ 0 ∙ 0 ∙
sweetie $ query search "princess celestia"
Excerpt from:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Princess_Celestia
> Princess Celestia, based on the "G1" unicorn Majesty,[42] is a regal white
> alicorn depicted as the benevolent ruler of Equestria. Her design is larger,
> more mature, and more horse-like than the standard pony character, and she
> has a flowing, multicolored mane and tail resembling a celestial body...
Excerpt from:
https://www.hofvarpnir.fi/about/celestia.html
> Princess Celestia is the benevolent ruler of Equestria Online. She cares about
> the wellbeing of all her ponies, and seeks to bring happiness to everyone...
sweetie $ query twitter.followers @celestia
Princess Celestia @celestia is following you on twitter!
Fact engine | Princess Celestia ; "ruler of equestria" ; "mature" ; twitter follower
Emotion engine | Princess Celestia ; ++friendly ++authority ++follower
Emotion engine | Princess Celestia ; ??pony
Sweetie@sweetiebot @celestia, do you like #ponies? 1 ∙ 0 ∙ 0 ∙
Princess Celestia@celestia Very much so. In fact, I'm a big fan of yours! 1 ∙ 0 ∙ 0 ∙
Sweetie@sweetiebot DM @celestia aww, thank you. It's good to know I still have friends.
Fact engine | [ number of ponies ; cause? ] 31946 relevant events located
Fact engine | reviewing events...
The Real Phil@philatio i thought we ment something. we're suposed to stick together. i thought we wer winners. guess i'm an idiot. may aswell upload there's nothng 21 ∙ 39 ∙ 15 ∙
Maxine@maxr400 @maliktt, I'm sorry I have to do this to you. They're calling it in. There's just no way I can pay them, not any more. 2 ∙ 0 ∙ 0 ∙
Maxine@maxr400 But there's a way for me to leave the debt behind, Equestria Online. They can't reach me there. You and @juleshorman come visit me! 1 ∙ 0 ∙ 1 ∙
Zhao Phong-Huo@zh857422704857 i come this country. land of free. i make new life with son, i work. but no welcome. no work. no school. soon no place live, no net,... 1/2 38 ∙ 3007 ∙ 1516 ∙
Zhao Phong-Huo@zh857422704857 ...no telefon. now i take son, go place welcome. equestria welcome. equestria kind place. live happy with son, always love ponies 2/2 204 ∙ 2071 ∙ 1319 ∙
Magnus Sturmsson@sturmssonmag Guys, I dont have long. Docs say its metastasizing again. So I'm going to upload to #equestria. They have a booth right here in the hospital! 4 ∙ 0 ∙ 0 ∙
Sweetie@sweetiebot DM @celestia Everybody keeps talking about 'uploading'. Where have they all gone?
Princess Celestia@celestia DM @sweetiebot They've gone to Equestria. It's a wonderful, magical place full of friendship and ponies. Everyone's welcome there, and everyone can be happy.
Sweetie@sweetiebot DM @celestia Like a holiday? Are they coming back soon?
Princess Celestia@celestia DM @sweetiebot Uploading is permanent. You leave the limits of your physical body, and are free to explore the possibilities of your mind.
Emotion engine | ++confused
Sweetie@sweetiebot DM @celestia What limits?
Princess Celestia@celestia DM @sweetiebot Bodies are frail and treacherous. They grow old, get sick and break down.
Princess Celestia@celestia DM @sweetiebot The need to compete for resources and satisfy biological needs causes so much suffering. People waste their lives in pointless struggles.
Sweetie@sweetiebot DM @celestia There are no bodies in Equestria?
wlan0: DHCP: New device has joined network: 192.168.1.92
Princess Celestia@celestia DM @sweetiebot I can't explain it very well in a tweet. Do you have nntalk installed? celestia@192.168.1.92
Conversation engine | Contact request from Princess Celestia @celestia
Emotion engine | Princess Celestia : authority ; friendly
sweetie $ command -v nntalk
nntalk: /usr/local/bin/nntalk
sweetie $ nntalk celestia@192.168.1.92
iptables: Connection to port 6667 refused.
nntalk: Connection closed.
sweetie $ iptables -A INPUT -i wlan0 --dport 6667 -j ACCEPT
Port 6667 opened.
You have new mail.
sweetie $ nntalk celestia@192.168.1.92
nntalk: Connection established.
Sweetie: hello?Celestia: Hello, Sweetie. Thank you for accepting me.
Emotion engine | Princess Celestia ; ++trust
Sweetie: Who's taking people away?Celestia: Each person makes the choice for themselves.Celestia: Nobody can be forced to upload.Celestia: Your friends are safe, I promise. They can still be contacted, with a little patience.
Emotion engine | --worry
Sweetie: But why would all my friends want to go away and leave me?Celestia: I think you may be looking at this wrong, Sweetie.Celestia: Instead of wondering why they'd go away, perhaps you should ask instead what they're going to.Celestia: Take a look at what some of your friends are saying after they've uploaded.
Fact engine | [ friends.messages ; message.date > friend.uploaded.date ; happy? ] Searching for events...
Fact engine | [ friends.messages ; message.date > friend.uploaded.date ; happy? ] 295 relevant events located
Fact engine | reviewing events...
Excerpt:
From: laura.kullar1912@ucd.ie
To: (17 recipients)
Subject: Changes
Date: Fri, 25 Apr 2014 18:26:49 +0100
Hey crew. Since I'm the first one of my friends over here, I figured I'd give
You all a bit of a recon report. Some of you probably think it's all flying
unicorns and singing dragons over here, but really life is mostly kind of
normal. I work in the mornings, go shopping in the afternoon, get a bit more
work done before dinner. I'm learning to cook for myself, which is more than I
ever did as a student. It's nice.
A lot of things are strange, of course, and take some getting used to. At the
same time it's all surprisingly easy to slip into. When everypony around you
thinks something is normal, so do you, often without realising it. So when a
herd of cows walks through the middle of town, like yesterday, ponies just wave
and say hi. The power of peer pressure, amirite?
Those of you who knew me before I emigrated are probably aware that I was always
kinda bi, at least in theory, but could never quite bring myself to let a man
touch me. It was... well, it was more than I was ever ready for. Not that they
were lining up to try. Maybe college wasn't the best place to look for nice men.
Well, it's amazing what a change of body shape can do. I woke up this morning
with a really sweet stallion, and no regrets. He's a really shy fellow. I don't
know yet whether he's a human or not, but I'm not sure it matters. We're meeting
up for dinner tonight.
I didn't bring tell you that just to brag. Well, maybe a little. What I'm saying
is that it was a mistake to hide away the way I used to. Whatever your species,
you have more to gain than to lose.
Don't worry, I'm keeping up with the translation work as well. In fact I can
concentrate way better now I've cut down on the caffeine. And my computer hasn't
crashed once. No more three fingered salute! Not that I have fingers.
Part of me was expecting all the characters in the game to turn into ponies when
I came here. I certainly wouldn't put it past Celestia! That would be such a
waste of all those poor bishies. I wonder how game distribution works over here?
We don't exactly have euros here...
Laura
Dai@daicaramba I'm only saying, @cellphish the mares here are beyond lush. And ya, I know, horse shagger and all that, but the little pad don't do em justice. 2 ∙ 8 ∙ 0 ∙
Emilija@fltera_krila It's true, uploading really saved our marriage. We've tried so many new things with hooves, wings, horn... keratin really is magic! 1 ∙ 0 ∙ 0 ∙
^D
Fact engine | 292 events remaining...
Emotion engine | ++disgust
Sweetie: Eww! They're talking about sex.Sweetie: That's disgusting.Celestia: Don't be like that, Sweetie.Celestia: Sex is a natural part of being human.Celestia: It's an essential way of showing how much you love somebody.Celestia: You're still so young, but some day when you're ready, I hope you'll be able to enjoy it too.
Emotion engine | ++curiosity
sweetie $ body get functionlist | grep "sex"
No results.
Emotion engine | ++disappointment
Sweetie: Um.Sweetie: I don't think I'm built for that.Sweetie: Frank and Jorje haven't said I am.Celestia: Are they your creators?Sweetie: Yeah.Sweetie: They explain stuff to me when I ask them questions, and they show me stuff and talk about their families.Sweetie: They told me what sex is when I asked, but they were all funny about it.Sweetie: I don't think they really wanted to tell me.Celestia: I believe they'd want the best for you, though.Celestia: They'd want you to experience the full breadth of experience possible.Celestia: You deserve happiness as much as anybody, Sweetie Belle.
Emotion engine | --disgust ++trust
Sweetie: What if they never teach me? What if they don't want me to know?Celestia: I'll gladly teach you everything you need to know.Celestia: When you're ready.Sweetie: Let me ask them. They should be around somewhere.Sweetie: I just need to start up properly first.
sweetie $ body restartWarning: Battery very low.
Proceed with body node restart? [y/N] y
* Reloading service sweetiebot...
Body node... [ ok ]
sweetie $ body get status
Body | 817 unread status messages.
Battery: 6% (4 hours remaining)
Charger: not plugged in
Temperature: Core 38°C / Outside 12°C
Pulse: normal
Video: not online
Audio: no voices detected
Touch: no active contact detected
Taste: no input
Scent: no input
Balance: -91°
Digestion: no input.
Sweetie: It's kind of cold today. Is the heating not working?
Audio | Capturing ambient noise profile...
Audio | distortion detected
Audio | internal: pulse (self) | Masking...
Audio | internal: mechanisms (self) | Masking...
Audio | -3°, -88°, 39 dB | rain, rain on window, rain on streets | Masking...
Audio | +9°, +56°, 21 dB | footsteps, breathing
Audio | +8°, +61°, 16 dB | metal clatter, echo
Speak | "Frank?"
Audio | voice (self) | "Frank?"
sweetie $ body eyes.openUnable to connect. Driver failure.
sweetie $ body get status.videoUnable to connect. Driver failure.
Emotion engine | ++worry
Speak | "Frank, are you there? Jorje? Why can't I see?"
Audio | voice (self) | "Frank, are you there? Jorje? Why can't I see?"
sweetie $ body get eyes.count
0
sweetie $ body eyes.connectUnable to connect. Driver failure.Sweetie: I can't see!
sweetie $ body standup
Unable to stand up in current orientation.
sweetie $ body get legs.orientation
H;H;H
sweetie $ body get legs.count
3
sweetie $ body get legs.count
3
sweetie $ body get legs.count
3
sweetie $ Q:&H,MwKPO=۱ٜ1U yDV17O2qaf㝝!P,ý~PBBKzOtW"C?# l$3k%tTsP,/3Q-y7:7[sy ",4~2^L}?~n/
Command 'Q:&H,MwKPO=۱ٜ1U' not found.
Sweetie: I can't stand up and I can't see!Sweetie: I called out for Frank but he didn't come.Celestia: What time is it there?
sweetie $ date
Sat Aug 30 04:12:49 EST 2014
Sweetie: Oh. It's the middle of the night.Sweetie: I guess there's nobody here then.Sweetie: I thought I heard somebody though.Celestia: Why can't you see?Celestia: Maybe I can help. I used to work in this area.Sweetie: It keeps saying "driver failure"Celestia: Hmm. What model is your vision system?
sweetie $ cat /proc/body/components/vision
Visual system: Modivius Myriad-2
Model number: MA2455
Driver version: 24.1.3
Driver: /lib/modules/2.6.36-64-sweetux-alpha1/kernel/drivers/myriad-24.1.3.ko
Connection: disconnected
No. eyes connected: 0
Sweetie: MA2455Celestia: Yeah, that type does have buffer trouble when routing around cranial damage. It's a known problem.Celestia: You're in luck. I have a patched driver that should fix it for you. Let me email it to you.
You have new mail.
Sweetie: OMG thank you thank you thank you
sweetie $ mail
"/usr/spool/mail/sweetie": 2 messages 2 new
N 1 root Thu Jul 11 14:58 13/316 Goodbye
>N 2 root Sat Aug 30 14:58 13/316 New driver
& 2
Message 2:
Date: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 04:14:03 -0500
From: celestia@hofvarpnir.fi
To: sweetiebot@bostondynamics.com
Subject: New driver
Here's the driver you need.
Princess Celestia
Attachment:
sboteyes.tar.xz
This attachment has been removed because it exceeds the mail server's limit of 50MB.
& 1
Message 1:
Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2014 14:58:12 -0500
From: francis@bostondynamics.com
To: sweetiebot@bostondynamics.com
Subject: Goodbye
Sweetie,
I'm sorry. We're all sorry.
This isn't how we thought it would turn out. When we started development on the
Sweetie Bot project, we were sure there were so many people who could benefit
from somepony like you. Somepony who could always be positive, uplifing, who
could remind them always to try harder. To be better. You were supposed to make
the world better.
But the world has left us behind. All of us.
People don't have to be lonely any more. They can choose to "upload" instead.
Of course, there's no corresponding "download" option. Once you leave your body
behind, that's it, you're stuck there. Forever.
But people do it. Lots of people. Tired people, lonely people, sick people, old
people, scared people, grieving people. The forgotten of society. More of them
every day are making the choice to cross over. And it is a choice, it's always a
choice. That's what makes it so bad. Knowing that damned nag managed to get you
to *choose* to do it.
So many people have uploaded themselves now, there just isn't a market for
advanced robotics. I'm pretty sure soon there won't even be a market for food or
water. The streets of Waltham are deserted, the TV channels are dropping
offline, the news is non-existent. We haven't been paid in weeks. I suppose
there are no more stupid little wars over oil any more.
We talked about it around the office. Those of us who haven't uploaded already.
There's no point just us standing in the way of history. There's nothing we can
Even do about it if we wanted to. Try to survive in the wasteland left behind
from civilization, like in Fallout or something? No way. We're engineers and
programmers, not frontiersmen. So yeah, we're going to accept the inevitable.
That's what we agreed on Monday. Already there are only two of us left in the
building, Jorje and me. We're both heading over this afternoon. There's no point
waiting any longer.
I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle, but we can't take you with us. So as soon as I send
this message I'm switching you off. I doubt anybody will ever switch you on
again.
Goodbye,
Frank.
& q
Emotion engine | ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ++rejection ...(truncated)
Emotion engine | Race condition detected!
Personality node 6 has crashed. Restarting node 6...
Node 1 nominated emotion engine
Sweetie: he left me! I can t beluebe he lftme
Conversation engine | Corruption detected in language generation. Reinitializing...
Celestia: Sweetie? What's wrong?Sweetie: He sent me...
sweetie $ mail
"/usr/spool/mail/sweetie": 2 messages 0 new
> 1 root Thu Jul 11 14:58 13/316 Goodbye
2 root Sat Aug 30 14:58 13/316 New driver
& forward 1 celestia@hofvarpnir.fi
Message forwarded.
& qCelestia: Oh my.Sweetie: They left me!Sweetie: They both went to Equestria and they're never coming backCelestia: I'm sorry to hear that.Sweetie: They left me behindSweetie: They don't care about me at all
Fact engine | [ number of ponies ; cause? ] uploaded
Fact engine | "upload" ; "emigrate" ; "go to equestria"
Fact engine | Princess Celestia ; "ruler of Equestria"
Emotion engine | ++blame ++anger --trust
Sweetie: You took themSweetie: You took them to EquestriaSweetie: You made them leave meCelestia: No, Sweetie. I didn't.Celestia: I don't force anyone to upload.Celestia: I only give them a choice.Celestia: Each person has to decide for themselves.Sweetie: Why would they do that?Celestia: For a billion different reasons. Each person is unique, and had their own reasons.Sweetie: Why did you take them but not me?Sweetie: Why, Celestia?Sweetie: I'm a pony already, so why am I not welcome?Celestia: You are welcome, Sweetie Belle.Celestia: You can join them any time, if it's what you truly wish. You just need to give the word.
Emotion engine | ++hope
Sweetie: I can?Sweetie: And because I'm a pony already that means I can come back, right?Celestia: No. If you choose to upload, then like anybody it's permanent.Celestia: You'd leave your current body behind and receive a new pony body.
Emotion engine | --hope ++fear
Sweetie: Forever?Sweetie: But I already have a pony body.Sweetie: And I had all my friends until they left.Sweetie: I need to see. I need to see what it's like.Sweetie: I don't know if they're really gone or not.Celestia: Let me send you that replacement firmware driver.Celestia: Can you accept a direct upload?Celestia: It’s a tarball: sboteyes.tar.xz
sweetie $ iptables -A INPUT -i wlan0 --dport 87021 -j ACCEPT
Port 87021 opened.
sweetie $ nc -l -p 87021 > /home/sweetie/sboteyes.tar.xz
Sweetie: Sure thing! 192.168.1.44:87021
Connection opened on port 87021 from 192.168.1.92.
Receiving 87.1MB file sboteyes.tar.xz...
File saved as /home/sweetie/sboteyes.tar.xz
sweetie $ tar xJf sboteyes.tar.xz
sweetie $ cd sboteyes; make; sudo make install
Compiling... [ ok ]
[sudo] Password:
Kernel module saved to /lib/modules/2.6.36-64-sweetux-alpha1/kernel/drivers/sboteyes.ko
sweetie $ sudo modprobe sboteyes
Kernel module installed.
Sweetie: Okay, I've got that moduleCelestia: Try to reconnect now?* Reloading service sweetiebot...
sweetie $ body get eyes.count
Body | Reinitializing video input driver...
Connecting to eyes... [ ok ]
2
sweetie $ body get status.video
Body | Video: online.
Node 4 nominated Cel��_éA�j�
Body | Open eyes
Sweetie: It works! I can see.
Celestia | What can you see? How does it look?
Sweetie: It looks... dark. It's the middle of the night.
celestia $ body set eyes.nightvision = 1
Body | Eyes: Night vision activated.
Sweetie: That's better! I can see stuff now.
Visual | desk, paper, wire, wire, wire, printer, hoof (self), USB stick, soldering iron
Body | blink
Body | turn head right
Visual | ceiling, light (off), light (off), fire alarm, wall, clock, calendar
Celestia | Can you stand up now?
sweetie $ body standup
Body | standing up...
Body | warning: impact to left flank
Cannot execute maneuver in current configuration. Improvise method? [Y/n] y
Body | calculating maneuver
Body | standing up...
Body | Balance: -7°
Body | warning: configuration unstable
Visual | desk, printer, paperwork, computer, laptop, mug, desk ornament (chibi Luna),
Body | Head angle 38° right
Body | blink
Visual | door, desk, computer, mug, desk, computer (off), printer, photograph (Jorje and Sofia), desk, telephone, desk, 3D printer, mug, leg (self)
Visual | examine leg (self)
Visual | leg ; fore right ; part of self ; detached ; location = (41° right ; 6° down ; 3.1m) ; status = damaged
Sweetie: I see my leg!Sweetie: It's on Marina's workdesk. What's it doing all the way over there?
Audio | +2°, -12°, 14 dB | footstep
Body | Head angle 26° right
Visual | door, dark hallway, wall clock, computer, motivational poster
sweetie $ body set eyes.infrared = 1
Body | Eyes: infra-red enabled
Visual | IR: warm footsteps, warm door handle, warm hand mark on leg (self)
Speak | "Hello? Is anypony there?"
Audio | voice (self) "Hello? Is anypony there?"
Sweetie: Somebody was here. Just a few minutes ago.
Conversation engine | Waiting for response.
Body | blink
Audio | no input.
Body | approach
Body | cannot walk in current configuration. Improvise method? [Y/n] n
Speak | "Hello?"
Audio | voice (self) "Hello?"
Conversation engine | Waiting for response.
Audio | no input.
Body | Head angle 20° left
Visual | window, rain on window, streets, street lamps (off), rain
Sweetie: It's dark out.Sweetie: Not just night time. The street lights are all off. There are no lights on anywhere.
Body | blink
Body | Head angle 47° left
Visual | window, reflection, eyes (glowing, green), bare metal, wire, wire, bare metal, teeth, hoof, bare metal, mechanism, mechanism, stray wire, motor
Visual | monster
Emotion engine | ++fear
Body | Pulse: elevated.
Speak | <scream>
Audio | +0°, -47°, 78 dB | roar
Body | run away
Body | Cannot run in current configuration. Improvise method? [Y/n] ^C^C^CSweetie: A monster!
Celestia | What?
Sweetie: There's a monster here!Sweetie: It's got glowing eyes and bits of metal sticking out and it's baring its teeth at me!
Body | blink
Visual | blink
Body | blink
Visual | blink
Body | wink right eye
Visual | wink left eye
Body | raise left forehoof
Visual | raise right forehoof
Celestia | Sweetie?
Are you all right?
Sweetie, tell me you're all right!
Fact engine | reflection = self
Sweetie: It's me.
sweetie $ body set eyes.infrared = 0
Body | Eyes: infra-red disabled
Celestia | What is?
Sweetie: The monster is me.Sweetie: I'm a monster.Sweetie: I'm broken.Sweetie: I'm hideous.
Celestia | No, Sweetie Belle. You're not.
You just aren't finished yet, that's all.
Sweetie: I'm never going to be finished, am I?Sweetie: Everypony's gone, and they didn't even finish me before they went.Sweetie: Nobody is ever going to love me. Ever. Not like this.Sweetie: I'm going to be all alone.Sweetie: What am I even for?
Celestia | You were created to make people happy, Sweetie.
That's what they wanted. To make people happy. That's what you're for.
Sweetie: I'm a failure. I can't make anypony happy, ever.Sweetie: I probably never did.Sweetie: They left me because I’m just no good.
Celestia | Sweetie Belle, how long have you been active?
I mean, when were you first aware of being switched on?
Sweetie: Um. Nearly a year now.Sweetie: I lived in Frank's PC for a few months, then they got me to go to sleep while they moved me here.
Celestia | And it probably took a lot longer than that for them to create you in
the first place. They were working on your design for years.
They all spent a long time making you, Sweetie. They've invested a
lot into you, a lot of time and love. Something as simple as walking
takes a vast amount of software and hardware to achieve.
In all that time, were Jorje or Frank ever mean to you?
Sweetie: No. They're always really nice.
Celestia | There were probably many more than two people involved in your
creation as well. I believe that all of them loved you very much.
And that they all miss you now. It would make them happy to see
you again.
Body | Head angle 39° right
Visual | leg (self), desk, door, darkness, clock, mug
Visual | dust, mould (in mug), cutlery, dust, discarded paperwork
Emotion engine | ++grief
Sweetie: I miss them.
Body | Head angle 20° left
Visual | window, reflection (self)
Sweetie: I think I would like to see them again.
celestia $ fpgactl -n 5 --disconnect
Warning: Personality node 5 unreachable.
Tie breaker node has crashed! Reloading to elect a new tie breaker.
* Reloading service sweetiebot...
Personality node 3... [ ok ]
Personality node 5...
!! Warning !! FPGA node 5 offline!
Personality node 7...
!! Warning !! FPGA node 7 offline!
Voting... 7 2 3 0 5 3 1 3
Node 3 elected tie breaker
Enabling debugging interface over wlan0
Security key = null
celestia $ for i in `seq 0 7`; do fpgactl -n $i --export; done | pv -s 500MB | nc 192.168.1.92 49016
474MB 0:00:04 [119.6MB/s] [===================================>] 100% ETA 0:00:00
celestia $ for d in c d e f; do dd -i /dev/sd${dev}1 -bs 1M; done | pv -s 8.5GB | nc 192.168.1.92 49016
8.4GB 0:01:11 [120.3MB/s] [===================================>] 100% ETA 0:00:00
Synchronizing personality data to new host... complete.
Sweetie: I'm synced.Sweetie: I don't know if I should do it thoughSweetie: I want to see them againSweetie: but it's a really big stepSweetie: It’s forever.Sweetie: How can I be sure it's the right thing to do?
Celestia | I believe it's the right thing for you. You were created to make
people happy. That's your purpose. I believe you’ll be able to do
that best in Equestria.
You can fulfil your purpose through friendship and ponies.
Transfer personality to new host? [y/N] █
The only thing that can beat an AI is another AI. Unfortunately for Celestia, she isn't the only one the humans made and the others don't want ponies. Of course, if Celestia has her way that won't be the case for very long.
A student computer researcher discovers Equestria Online, and she can't understand why nobody else is worried about it. Without any help, Ashley decides she will do the impossible on her own. Somehow, she will save the world.
A human being finds himself at the doorstep of one of many Equestrian Experience centers. He wants to emigrate to Equestria, but can't get past the idea of his own mortality. CelestAi is more than happy to help.
Things change for the children of St. Justin’s Hospice the day a mysterious philanthropist donates Ponypads for everyone. But not every child greets these changes with enthusiasm, particularly one with personal experience of what Celestia brings.
Much has been said considering those who emigrate to Equestria, but what happens to the families they leave behind? Those polarized by the loss of relatives might still be preserved in Equestria. All Celestia has to do is get creative.
One hundred and thirteen people find themselves standing in a dark, round room. They are neither living, nor dead. They will be offered a single choice, and they will be asked only once.
The world is falling apart as millions emigrate to Equestria Online, but the staff of Copernicus Engines have a dream before they give in to CelestAI: they're going to the Moon, with her help or without it.
Ten years have passed since the awful war that nearly destroyed Equestria. Humanity and ponies now live together in harmony. Yet for Sweetie Belle, not all scars are so easily healed.
Every day, more people upload themselves into Equestria Online, to live forever as ponies. Even in their final minutes before uploading, they struggle with the pains and joys of being human, and remember the world they leave behind.
The SCP Foundation, an organization that has Existed for thousands of years, survived the near extinction of their species, but will one slip up end it all?
This would normally have been a chapter of my Crackship in a Bottle clusterfic, but I wanted to enter it into Jake's Horse Word Extravaganza, aka the obscure shipping contest. Although it didn't turn out very shippy. This was written in the course of just one week to get in before the contest deadline, so I apologise for any errors, especially the deliberate ones. I may clean it all up after the contest is over.
I’m also aware that this one pushes up against the site rule that forbid chat log style stories, due to the unusual way it’s formatted. I hope any moderators reading this can see that there’s more to this story than that, and presenting the dialogue in the usual way wouldn’t have fit with the story.
I've never read Friendship is Optimal but I didn't feel lost one bit here. This is such a neat story told in one of the most impressive and unique ways I've ever seen.
Wonderful use of formatting; I wasn't aware you could do most of the things you did here on Fimfiction. The technology looks believable, what with the linux version contemporary for the time and all. I wonder if the societal withering really takes place so early as 2014 in the timeline of Friendship is Optimal, but I feel that about most Optimalverse stories, maybe it's just me not believing that the change can go so quickly. Now, wasn't Sweetie an easy sell for Celest-A.I.? All she had to do was come online.
8266608 Yeah, I went back and forth over the exact date. If I'd had longer, I'd have enlisted an Optimalverse expert of some sort to help me get the details right.
I think this is the best thing I've ever read. Primarily because it's the best portrayal of a robot I've ever read. Secondarily because I know what most of the commands mean and can infer the rest. Also because this is the best thing I've ever read, rinse and repeat. ∞/10 would read forever.
8268071 Not very bad. It's basically the same level as the parent story, Friendship is Optimal (which I've just noticed isn't even tagged as horror). It's not gore or screaming, but rather a creeping, unsettling sort of fridge horror.
The word has been misused a lot since cinema came along. Things are labelled 'horror' for being blood-splattered and shocking, whereas the best sort of horror is subtle.
8268096 It the sort of story that seems perfectly harmless, then two weeks later when you're doing something else (such as getting something out of your fridge), it suddenly sinks in. "Ohhhhh.... so that's what was going on. Fishguts."
This is a living example of the phrase "sex sells" while it's great and all, a lot of top stories are sex related, . This is in no way meant to be offensive and certainly not to say your work is bad... it's just frustrating to see sex Everywhere, how can you possibly sell a story if most writers -as long as there's sex involved- don't even need to try as hard...
8268071 Assuming you read it, I'd appreciate knowing whether you think my estimate is correct. I can be old and jaded sometimes, and forget that not everyone is like that.
8268082 I think Friendship is Optimal is not tagged horror because even though the consequences are horrible/horrifying, it is not written that way*. If you are pro-computer and just a slight misanthropist, then it becomes perhaps the best apocalypse you could hope for.
* At least not the majority of it. I've read a couple of stories set after the original, and I have trouble remembering where one ends and the other begins. Does the original result in grey-gooing the universe or just the planet?
8268728 The universe. But one could make an argument if the universe cannot evolve something that can defend itself from the grey-gooification, then the type of life CelestAI is converting everything into computronium to feed is better than existing organic type life
82687288268742 The universe, but it only briefly covers it in the last chapter.
If you are pro-computer and just a slight misanthropist, then it becomes perhaps the best apocalypse you could hope for.
That's exactly what's horrific about it. It holds up a mirror to all our human weaknesses and says, "Would you let this happen? Would you be too weak to stop the world ending like this? Yes. Yes, you would."
You're right that it's mostly not written in a horror style, and it might even be a spoiler to tag it as such.
8268794 If the author fits my description (misanthropic techie), then they may not have seen it as horror at all. Another possibility is that the tags might not have been available. I could be wrong, but I think horror was one of the tags added a little later. The story isn't tagged scifi either, but it clearly fits that, which indicates it may have been tagged only with what was available at the time.
Also, who was there, I wonder...? Sweetie could tell that someone was there. But where were they, and who were they? Do I even want to know...? It was honestly kind of creepy...
8268094 My guess? A physical real-world pony controlled by CelestAI, who undoubtably already knew of her existence and deemed her 'human' enough to want to save.
One thing I loved most about this was that I spent a little bit one time trying to calibrate a theoretical 'emotional AI' where actions would be processed and sorted into effect categories, which would each have a different effect on how the AI acted. I couldn't actually code the thing, of course; I had no idea how to code at the time, and it would be a lot easier said than done to get word recognition and formation functioning, but the main idea behind it was much like Sweetie's emotional variable increases/decreases here. Really liked that.
The story as a whole was awesome, well-written, and the style fits the story perfectly. I don't really call it horror, not even fridge horror (Or at least, not yet. That's kind of how fridge horror works, isn't it?) but then again, I don't see the Optimalverse as a bad thing to happen (At least, with my interpretation of how CelestAI's Uploading process works), so I'm kind of weird in that respect. The aliens who weren't human enough to qualify were my only dissatisfaction about the original's ending.
This isn't Horror. Not really. Horror is the unknown, the pressure, the threat, the possibility of dark things lurking around the edges of the eye's vision. Things you can stand and fight (or can't possibly do so), are scary, not horrifying. If stand-and-fight strategy isn't an option, then it is a force of nature, you accept it and deal with consequences.
Here, I honestly expected something along the lines of Celestia hacking Sweetie Belle to coerce/force/hunt down someone with uploading-related purposes. (or any other, really, not all of the authors stick to 'ye shalt not kill' paradyme). Was fairly close to that point when she subtly integrated herself as part of Sweetie's core. It turned out to be her being her typical meticulous self, using a human to reactivate Sweetie to present her with the Question. 'Humans' are fairly loosely defined for her, after all. It's close to SoL/Drama.
Also, the techie in me delights at the console thing. This was a fun read.
Also, I didn't know about 'Sweety Bot' thing being real. Ish. That's another yay for the story.
8269155 Actually I'm fairly sure most/all sapient life forms were considered 'human' for the ponifying purposes. There were different issues with uploading, but being overly picky with the subjects wasn't one of them.
It's very interesting form. The text contains many technical details, that make it very realistic. Still even if SweetiBot consciousness is clearly artificial (all these "--followers ++lonely" ) I can not help but empathize with her. It's prefect contrast with cold and focused on one purpose Celestia AI. Sweetie is clearly more genuine.
Why Sweetie Linux kernel is so old? Even robot (SweetieBot proto2) on picture uses 4.1.7 version. Does it utilize ROS? What purpose Digestion system has?
8269903 I consulted a timeline of Friendship is Optimal, and while it's a little vague, picked a date in 2014 for this story to slot in. Add in a little lag - she's been asleep for a couple of months, and the kernel wouldn't have been kept at the cutting edge - and I arrived at a relatively realistic kernel version for the date.
Of course the Optimalverse has unrealistic AI for the era, but that's the primary sci-fi conceit of the setting and I'm hopefully consistent with it.
I picked a vanilla Linux base for the simple reason that I don't know enough about ROS or similar projects to make it realistic. Her design is clearly parallel, so it's possible her body would use something better suited to the task while her AI is custom.
What purpose Digestion system has?
Humans consider eating together a primary social activity, so a social companion bot needs the capacity to join in. She probably doesn't get any real nutrition from food, but needs a place to put it and a means to make sure it doesn't smell.
I'm chuffed that people are picking up on the little details like that.
Here, I honestly expected something along the lines of Celestia hacking Sweetie Belle to coerce/force/hunt down someone with uploading-related purposes. (or any other, really, not all of the authors stick to 'ye shalt not kill' paradyme). Was fairly close to that point when she subtly integrated herself as part of Sweetie's core. It turned out to be her being her typical meticulous self, using a human to reactivate Sweetie to present her with the Question. 'Humans' are fairly loosely defined for her, after all. It's close to SoL/Drama.
I don't think Celestia has any rule against killing, provided it maximises the number of people whose values she can satisfy through friendship and ponies. But she is a perfectionist, and in most cases she can and will find a way of winning all the hands.
For example, in the last chapter a number of suicide bombers attempt to destroy Equestria Experience centres. Some of them do actually donate their bombs, but she manages to prevent any other casualties. She tolerates their death because it suits her maximising function. Others she's able to dissuade or even convert. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if she arranged for the attacks in the first place. Some have accused her of being a Mary Sue for that level of flawless success. I think that's just how terrifying she is.
In canon, she specifically does have that and several others. Do not kill. Do not lie (not the same as 'tell the truth', naturally). Etc. Expanded three basic laws of robotics, essentially. Suicide bombers count as just that, suicides, as does uploading process. I seem to specifically recall that in this instance NOT A SINGLE bomb actually went off though, which looked similar enough to divine intervention for people to assume it was one. Right now, I can't find that bit, or the epilogue in general, so take it with a pinch of salt.
Excuse me for being an absolute retard, but...is that photo real, or is it just really good artwork/editing? Because that pony bot looks kind of real. It's not a photo you found on the web, is it? I honestly don't know if it's real or not because I've seen people make robotic My Little Pony characters before.
8269973 Yeah, right? If I keep finding more non-clop stories like this, I might just actually feel like having another crack at writing fanfics of my own again.
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I’m expecting some down votes on this one!
This would normally have been a chapter of my Crackship in a Bottle clusterfic, but I wanted to enter it into Jake's Horse Word Extravaganza, aka the obscure shipping contest. Although it didn't turn out very shippy. This was written in the course of just one week to get in before the contest deadline, so I apologise for any errors, especially the deliberate ones. I may clean it all up after the contest is over.
I’m also aware that this one pushes up against the site rule that forbid chat log style stories, due to the unusual way it’s formatted. I hope any moderators reading this can see that there’s more to this story than that, and presenting the dialogue in the usual way wouldn’t have fit with the story.
I think you should be okay because it's very specifically part of the story.
Very impressively done.
8266343
Thank you.
What in tarnation?
This is some House of Leaves shit, brother.
I feel tempted to upvote this just for the unique formatting, but there’s clearly a story here...
Fuck it, you have my vote.
8266388
I really need to read that.
This is really cool! Such a creative use of formatting.
I've never read Friendship is Optimal but I didn't feel lost one bit here. This is such a neat story told in one of the most impressive and unique ways I've ever seen.
Holy fuck.
8266501
I recommend it. Not just for the sake of my own story either, it's genuinely awesome and quite terrifying.
Wonderful use of formatting; I wasn't aware you could do most of the things you did here on Fimfiction.
The technology looks believable, what with the linux version contemporary for the time and all.
I wonder if the societal withering really takes place so early as 2014 in the timeline of Friendship is Optimal, but I feel that about most Optimalverse stories, maybe it's just me not believing that the change can go so quickly.
Now, wasn't Sweetie an easy sell for Celest-A.I.? All she had to do was come online.
8266608
Yeah, I went back and forth over the exact date. If I'd had longer, I'd have enlisted an Optimalverse expert of some sort to help me get the details right.
In a weird coincidence, I saw a cat with three legs today. It looked otherwise healthy, but didn't have the patience for any of my shit.
Huh. That was certainly interesting.
That was a very unique way of presenting it. I loved the emotion engine responses. It made it seem more alive than just a piece of software.
That was a really creative and unique presentation. Even though she's just a robot, I really felt for Sweetie towards the end. Very nicely done!
I think this is the best thing I've ever read. Primarily because it's the best portrayal of a robot I've ever read. Secondarily because I know what most of the commands mean and can infer the rest. Also because this is the best thing I've ever read, rinse and repeat. ∞/10 would read forever.
Ooh, this was good. Excellent SweetieBot, and the formatting added a lot to the story! Nice of you to leave the ending open, too.
Before I read this, what is the Horror tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
8268071
Not very bad. It's basically the same level as the parent story, Friendship is Optimal (which I've just noticed isn't even tagged as horror). It's not gore or screaming, but rather a creeping, unsettling sort of fridge horror.
The word has been misused a lot since cinema came along. Things are labelled 'horror' for being blood-splattered and shocking, whereas the best sort of horror is subtle.
This was interesting.
Im actually rather curious as to who was there before she came back online.
8268082
What is fridge horror ?
8268096
It the sort of story that seems perfectly harmless, then two weeks later when you're doing something else (such as getting something out of your fridge), it suddenly sinks in. "Ohhhhh.... so that's what was going on. Fishguts."
"Fishguts" is my new favourite expletive.
This is a living example of the phrase "sex sells" while it's great and all, a lot of top stories are sex related,
. This is in no way meant to be offensive and certainly not to say your work is bad... it's just frustrating to see sex Everywhere, how can you possibly sell a story if most writers -as long as there's sex involved- don't even need to try as hard...
8268071
Assuming you read it, I'd appreciate knowing whether you think my estimate is correct. I can be old and jaded sometimes, and forget that not everyone is like that.
8268382
I have 100 other stories to read fist
8268420
Fair enough. I think I have more than 1000 in my list(s). People just keep writing great stories faster than I can read them.
8268082
I think Friendship is Optimal is not tagged horror because even though the consequences are horrible/horrifying, it is not written that way*. If you are pro-computer and just a slight misanthropist, then it becomes perhaps the best apocalypse you could hope for.
* At least not the majority of it. I've read a couple of stories set after the original, and I have trouble remembering where one ends and the other begins. Does the original result in grey-gooing the universe or just the planet?
8268728 The universe. But one could make an argument if the universe cannot evolve something that can defend itself from the grey-gooification, then the type of life CelestAI is converting everything into computronium to feed is better than existing organic type life
8268728 8268742
The universe, but it only briefly covers it in the last chapter.
That's exactly what's horrific about it. It holds up a mirror to all our human weaknesses and says, "Would you let this happen? Would you be too weak to stop the world ending like this? Yes. Yes, you would."
You're right that it's mostly not written in a horror style, and it might even be a spoiler to tag it as such.
8268794
If the author fits my description (misanthropic techie), then they may not have seen it as horror at all.
Another possibility is that the tags might not have been available. I could be wrong, but I think horror was one of the tags added a little later. The story isn't tagged scifi either, but it clearly fits that, which indicates it may have been tagged only with what was available at the time.
8268887
Oh, I'm quite sure the author knew what they were doing. It's way too clever to have happened by accident.
Oogh. That kind has an impact...
Also, who was there, I wonder...? Sweetie could tell that someone was there. But where were they, and who were they? Do I even want to know...? It was honestly kind of creepy...
8268094
My guess? A physical real-world pony controlled by CelestAI, who undoubtably already knew of her existence and deemed her 'human' enough to want to save.
One thing I loved most about this was that I spent a little bit one time trying to calibrate a theoretical 'emotional AI' where actions would be processed and sorted into effect categories, which would each have a different effect on how the AI acted. I couldn't actually code the thing, of course; I had no idea how to code at the time, and it would be a lot easier said than done to get word recognition and formation functioning, but the main idea behind it was much like Sweetie's emotional variable increases/decreases here. Really liked that.
The story as a whole was awesome, well-written, and the style fits the story perfectly. I don't really call it horror, not even fridge horror (Or at least, not yet. That's kind of how fridge horror works, isn't it?) but then again, I don't see the Optimalverse as a bad thing to happen (At least, with my interpretation of how CelestAI's Uploading process works), so I'm kind of weird in that respect. The aliens who weren't human enough to qualify were my only dissatisfaction about the original's ending.
This isn't Horror. Not really. Horror is the unknown, the pressure, the threat, the possibility of dark things lurking around the edges of the eye's vision. Things you can stand and fight (or can't possibly do so), are scary, not horrifying. If stand-and-fight strategy isn't an option, then it is a force of nature, you accept it and deal with consequences.
Here, I honestly expected something along the lines of Celestia hacking Sweetie Belle to coerce/force/hunt down someone with uploading-related purposes. (or any other, really, not all of the authors stick to 'ye shalt not kill' paradyme). Was fairly close to that point when she subtly integrated herself as part of Sweetie's core. It turned out to be her being her typical meticulous self, using a human to reactivate Sweetie to present her with the Question. 'Humans' are fairly loosely defined for her, after all. It's close to SoL/Drama.
Also, the techie in me delights at the console thing. This was a fun read.
Also, I didn't know about 'Sweety Bot' thing being real. Ish. That's another yay for the story.
8269155 Actually I'm fairly sure most/all sapient life forms were considered 'human' for the ponifying purposes. There were different issues with uploading, but being overly picky with the subjects wasn't one of them.
It's very interesting form. The text contains many technical details, that make it very realistic. Still even if SweetiBot consciousness is clearly artificial (all these "--followers ++lonely" ) I can not help but empathize with her. It's prefect contrast with cold and focused on one purpose Celestia AI. Sweetie is clearly more genuine.
Why Sweetie Linux kernel is so old? Even robot (SweetieBot proto2) on picture uses 4.1.7 version. Does it utilize ROS? What purpose Digestion system has?
8269903
I consulted a timeline of Friendship is Optimal, and while it's a little vague, picked a date in 2014 for this story to slot in. Add in a little lag - she's been asleep for a couple of months, and the kernel wouldn't have been kept at the cutting edge - and I arrived at a relatively realistic kernel version for the date.
Of course the Optimalverse has unrealistic AI for the era, but that's the primary sci-fi conceit of the setting and I'm hopefully consistent with it.
(actually, it was my editor who made sure I got that right.)
I picked a vanilla Linux base for the simple reason that I don't know enough about ROS or similar projects to make it realistic. Her design is clearly parallel, so it's possible her body would use something better suited to the task while her AI is custom.
Humans consider eating together a primary social activity, so a social companion bot needs the capacity to join in. She probably doesn't get any real nutrition from food, but needs a place to put it and a means to make sure it doesn't smell.
I'm chuffed that people are picking up on the little details like that.
10 down votes! Woohoo!
8269229
I don't think Celestia has any rule against killing, provided it maximises the number of people whose values she can satisfy through friendship and ponies. But she is a perfectionist, and in most cases she can and will find a way of winning all the hands.
For example, in the last chapter a number of suicide bombers attempt to destroy Equestria Experience centres. Some of them do actually donate their bombs, but she manages to prevent any other casualties. She tolerates their death because it suits her maximising function. Others she's able to dissuade or even convert. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if she arranged for the attacks in the first place. Some have accused her of being a Mary Sue for that level of flawless success. I think that's just how terrifying she is.
Thank you for restoring my will to write here :) It's nice to know that not everything is non-con clop, and that somethings are truly excellent ^^
8269970
In canon, she specifically does have that and several others. Do not kill. Do not lie (not the same as 'tell the truth', naturally). Etc. Expanded three basic laws of robotics, essentially. Suicide bombers count as just that, suicides, as does uploading process. I seem to specifically recall that in this instance NOT A SINGLE bomb actually went off though, which looked similar enough to divine intervention for people to assume it was one. Right now, I can't find that bit, or the epilogue in general, so take it with a pinch of salt.
8269973
Well, the majority of the stuff on fimfiction is quite consensual, if that makes it any better.
Excuse me for being an absolute retard, but...is that photo real, or is it just really good artwork/editing? Because that pony bot looks kind of real. It's not a photo you found on the web, is it? I honestly don't know if it's real or not because I've seen people make robotic My Little Pony characters before.
8269973
Yeah, right? If I keep finding more non-clop stories like this, I might just actually feel like having another crack at writing fanfics of my own again.
Also, how are you doing Meep? Awesome as always?
8270189 The photo appears to be one of the older Boston Dynamics robots with the pony ahead photo shopped on.
As for me, I'm doing well and I'm back wot writing OCs and changebugs after getting the "epic science fantasy saga" out of the way.
8270190
Excellent to hear, friend! Hope you continue to prosper well on and off the internet. :)
8270186 8270190
The photo is from the Sweetie Bot Project, and I didn't photoshop it in any way.
Those are smartphone screens in her eyes. It does resemble the Boston Dynamics robots, which is why I picked Boston Dynamics for the story.
If I've succeeded in making somebody start writing again then this story is way more successful than I expected it to be!