The Intrepid Few

by The Fields of Ice

Chapter Two: Always

The Intrepid Few
Chapter Two: Always

Do I know my hatred is irrational? Of course I do. It's not something you can logically control. It's an acquired taste. A symbol of a memory you can't, or shouldn't forget, no matter how much you wish you could.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about Twilight some nights as I tried to fall asleep. I've even thought about how close we used to be, but before I could let myself fall back, and wish for those days to return, I remember Sweetie Belle, and it starts all over. Is it something I'm proud of? No, but then again, since when did hate become a thing of reason?

Sitting at the dining table in our kitchen where I'd normally be enjoying a cup of coffee, I only look down at the mahogany slab before me. A lot of things weigh on my mind. A lot of things I could find myself regretting, or loathing.

I let out a disgruntled sigh as I rub at my eyes. Sleep had eluded me the prior night, with the dark circles outlining my eyes as proof. "Damnit."

I hear the light hoof steps of Sweetie Belle coming up from behind me. Slowly she wraps her hooves around me, draping them over my shoulder. I lean into her neck as she pulls me in. "So, you mind telling me why you were up tossing and turning all night?"

I bit my tongue, not entirely sure if I should tell her. "I don't know. Just wasn't feeling well."

She shook her head. "You see, the key word was 'why'… So, why weren't you feeling well, Spike."

I slid out from under her embrace, and stood up, making my way over to the sink where I poured myself a glass of water. Taking a few swallows, I finished it. "Equestria is almost done building the ship. They're beginning to gather a crew to man it... Celestia asked me to be in that crew."

Sweetie Belle's eyes went wide. "Oh? Well, how soon are you going to leave?"

I waved her off. "No, it's not... I told her no."

A little shocked, she took a step forward. "And why would you ever do that? Spike, this is the chance of a lifetime. Ponies would kill to be where you are."

I nodded. "Yes. Yes. I know that... It's just... I just- I can't do it."

"Spike, what is it you're not telling me?"

My mouth hung open, but no words left my lips. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her. I knew what she thought of Twilight, and knew what she'd think of me.

The pause in our conversation was suddenly interrupted by the chime of a doorbell. Looking to the clock, I found it odd for someone to be dropping by this early. And so, I made my way over to the door. Without thinking to check who it was, I swung it open. Whether it be just who I am, or the dragon blood running through my veins I'll never know, but what I did know was that rage had returned.

"What are you doing here?"

Twilight turned away, feeling my words like a knife to her throat. "Spike," she said quietly, her voice sounding defeated before she could even begin. "I just... I needed to speak with you."

I stepped forward, closing the door behind me. "You need to leave. Now."

She took a step back. "I know you'd love nothing more than to never see me again, but please just hear me out... I know Celestia asked you to join the crew."

"And? What does that have anything to do with you?"

"Spike, just please... It's just, I know how hard you've been working. I've even read the books you've written about these planets. No one knows more about exoplanets than the drake whose been studying them for decades."

I shook my head as I crossed my arms. "It's not the mission I have a problem with; it's who I'd have to deal with when I'm up there."

Twilight nodded. "I-I just don't want you to regret this..."

"I regret a lot of things Twi, but spending as much time away from you as I can sure isn't one of them."

She must have found some bravery just then, or maybe she just felt defeated enough to give in, but Twilight finally looked me in the eye. It felt wrong to keep going after her like this. She was looking to me like a wounded animal would, as it accepts what's next.

"It wasn't Princess Celestia who asked for you to be on the ship, Spike. I-I... I can't do this anymore. You were my best friend, and I hate that this is what we've become! I miss you more than you can imagine!" Her voice cracked as her tears finally broke through. "I want my friend back."

I paused. "I just want to know why... Why you just stood there."

"Spike..."

I clinched my fists and turned away. "Just answer the question."

"I-I couldn't do anything. We're not supposed to; not like that."

"So instead, you decided to just watch her die on the table with me! I begged you over and over, and you just stood there!" I didn't realize just how loud I was getting as I spoke.

"Do you think it was easy!? She was my student, she was like my daughter! How do you think I felt, knowing I wasn't allowed to intervene!?"

"Don't you even dare try to compare yourself to what I went through!"

Her horn glowed with magic, as she dug her hooves in. "Spike I loved her just as I did you, so you need to back off."

I crossed my arms. "What? Are you going to attack me? No matter how I may feel about you, I'd never lay a hand on you... Just shows how little you really know about me."

She lowered her guard, letting the glow leave her horn, looking a little ashamed of her defensive stance. "I'm sorry. I didn't have a choice. I taught her everything I could, but she couldn't become an alicorn. I'm only supposed to guide, not force. And believe me, I am sorry things aren't different."

I veered my eyes from her gaze. "Y-You should leave."

"I'm sorry."

I opened the door and stepped back. "Yeah." Slowly, I closed it.

With a long sigh, I laid my arm against the door, resting my forehead against it. As I did, I heard a light sob from behind me. Quickly, I turned to find Sweetie Belle staring at me with tearful eyes.

"Y-You should leave too."

I was a little shocked by this. "W-What?"

She closed her eyes and looked down gritting her teeth. "You know, the thing about being an android is you can tap into pretty much every networked electronic device. Like the security cameras by the doors. Not like the whole neighborhood couldn't hear already though."

I stepped forward. "Sweetie."

"No! Just no! I know I'm not her. I have her memories, her every thought, but I can never be the her you want. I'm not flesh and blood, and that's the kicker."

"Please just stop."

"No, this has been a long time coming. I'm a fantasy to you. An escape from the real world, and I've been all too aware of this for some time."

I rubbed my brow. "No, that's not it at all. I just- What she did-"

"What she did was let things happen the way they would have anyways. And that's another thing. You need to end this idiotic rage you have against Twilight. I forgave her because I at least understood it. You never could understand her side. Look, I may not be the Sweetie Belle you want, but I can damn sure speak on her behalf."

I didn't know what to say. All those demons I've kept in the closet just blew the door off the hinges. I just want things back the way they used to be. "I know..." I kept my eyes at her feet as I opened the door. "I know."

----------

A brisk morning wind was blowing as I sat atop a bench at the local park. I looked up at a sky filled with crafts of all types. Ponies going to and from work, home, or wherever. The skies were a lot quieter back when the only ones flying were the pegasi. Still though it all, shines an ever constant sun. No matter how much we may do to this rock, it will continue to shine on in its bright glowing apathy.

I took in a deep breath and stood, walking along the path, past the fountain, past parents playing with their foals. It's really hard to believe that this massive city used to be Ponyville.

No matter how stone cold I think I am, I'm holding it together with a shoestring. Twilight's words swim though my mind with Sweetie's. If I'm being honest, I do miss her. I miss both of them. I just want to go back to when we were younger. When I could always turn to Twilight as my best friend, and hold Sweetie Belle in my arms each night.

I hate it. I know that this version of Sweetie Belle is her. I was the one who asked for her consciousness be copied before she died. Every word she says, every thought, or emotion is hers, just not the her I fell in love with. Ironically, even though Twilight is the Twilight I grew up with, I doubt I'll ever be able to look at her the same way.

I feel defeated. I feel angry, but without cause. I feel alone.

Walking the streets, I keep my head down. I know what I should do. I know it's the right thing. Still, pride is the hardest pill to swallow.

After a few minutes of walking, I reach the centerpiece of Ponyville; Twilight's castle. I ascend the staircase and am met with her guards, however this time they do not stop me. Quite the opposite; they opened the door for me. My guess is Twilight must have told them there was a chance I'd be coming. I hate it when she's right about me.

As I enter the throne room, I look up, seeing her seated, but as soon as our gaze met, she quickly stood, making her way down to me. I took in a deep breath, the both of us meeting in the middle of the room.

"So," I said.

"So."

I paused a moment. "We need to talk. No shouting this time."

She nodded. "Okay then, let's talk."

I bit my lip. "I-I know it wasn't your fault. I haven't blamed you because I felt it was, I just always felt it was your responsibility to s-save her."

She shied away. "I can understand that."

I looked up. "I just want things back the way they were before, Twi. I miss how it used to be."

Twilight eyed me "Did something happen after I left?"

I nodded. "Sweetie said something that's still ringing in my ears. She said she can never be her. And you know the really messed up thing? I know she's right... She's an exact mental copy of her, but she's not the real her. I love her. I do, I just..."

Twilight then did something she hadn't done in a very long time; she hugged me. Slowly, I did the same.

"Twi... It feels so wrong to think like this. I don't know what to do."

She squeezed me a little tighter, and I actually started to cry a little. "Spike, I can't imagine what this feels like for you, but I'm always here for you if you need me."

"I didn't mean for it to go this way."

"I know."

I sniffled a little, and cleared my throat as I regained my composure. "And um, I've decided to accept your offer, if you'll still have me."

She gave me a light smile. "Always."

Comments

[Bahamuttone]

Hmm then... What defines one being oneself? Continuity of consciousness? then everyone becomes a new individual each time sleeps comes around. If it is memory... and there is the way to copy it that means you get a second one that IS the same person... up to the copy process. then they start diverging...
Nice philosophical question.

[The Fields of Ice]

8249118
Thanks!

[The Fields of Ice]

8249119
Your hero standards are exceptionally low...

[The Fields of Ice]

8249427
Thank you!