• Published 13th Sep 2017
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Brat's Dark Side - Darkie 09

She's my Brat. She always has been, she always will be. No matter how far across Equestria she is, she will forever and always be... My Brat.

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Chapter 8: Goodbye

Friday, June 23, 2017, I received a letter from Tigris via teleportation. She left it at my door at five thirty in the morning.

“See you in a couple of months, Brat,” I say, ruffling her hair. She glances up at me with a sad look and smiles.

“Yeah, definitely. You’ll visit me, won’t you?” She asks with a small smile.

“Tch, yes,” I respond, she jumps on me and topples me over as she squeals with delight. “Just be quiet. It’s five in the morning and my neighbors are sleeping.” She nods and a few tears escape her eyes. “Oh, gosh. Don’t cry…”

“Why? Will it make you cry?” She sniffles and hugs me tighter.

“Tch, no of course not. It’s just weird and sappy.” I answer stoically, stroking her mane. She cries harder into my mane.

“I-- I have to go, we have to make it to the airport… I just wanted to say goodbye until next time.” She smiles and hugs me again. I hug her back, not saying a word.

I watch as she walks away from me, I walk back into the house and lay on my bed, saddened by my friend and her sudden leave.

“How many more will leave me? How many?” I speak to no one in particular. “When will the pain stop? Mom, Dad, Onyx, Sapphire Quill, Moonrose, Brat." Soon I find myself crying. I shove my face into my pillow and tell myself to stop being so emotional. I chose to let her be my friend… What was I expecting to happen when she left? I know I shouldn’t have gotten close to her. But yet again, I opened myself up to yet another pony who in the end will just leave me.

I can stop the river flowing from my eyes, I can keep it in anymore. All my past mistakes, all my friends are fading, next year what will I do without them? Even Nightglimmer seems to be more detached.

Last night Nightglimmer woke me up because she was having an anxiety attack about next year and all of our friends leaving us.

“I don’t know. I have mixed feelings about it. All I know is I just want to leave. This is hell. Living in this world, is it really a privilege? Everyone’s leaving and I don’t blame them but I can’t take much more.” She says, looking at me. “What do you think?” She shifts her weight and sits upright on my bed.

“Me? I don’t know. I’d like to think they won’t forget about us, but it depends, I want them to forget about me. They shouldn’t have known me for the monster I am.” I tell her honestly. “Nightglimmer, How much more pain do you think we’ll take? Would you be able to do it?”

“Probably not. Sometimes I just want to through with it, to see how the people that ‘care’ about me would react.” She sits up and looks at me with a stern gaze.

“My sister once told me something. She said: If you get so sick and tired of something. Confront it! Otherwise, everything will remain exactly the same, nothing will change and we’ll always be stuck in this hell. Maybe we should try it. Next year, let's change, if we want to stop being hurt then we have no choice but to be mean and detached. Since everyone’s gone… Why do we want to make more friends that will hurt us and leave? We don’t have to live the way others want us to. I just want the people I care about to stop hurting me. But, to be able to do that, we have to confront it. Nightglimmer, remember… I will stay by you. Forever. If you need someone to tell you every day that they love you and care for you, I will do that everyday. For you. I promise. I don’t ever want you to think that even for a second you're alone in this world. When you leave this town so will I. But until then I’ll protect you. I promise.”

“I don’t want you to feel that you have to protect me though…” I look at her with the sternest gaze I can muster up.

“This is not something that I am choosing to do because I don’t care. If you leave, what happens to me? I’ll be more broken than I am now. Nopony needs to feel this pain and guilt, not you of all ponies. Please…”

“But protecting me and telling me you love me and care about me… That just shows your sensitive and not heartless.” She says looking down and playing with my comforter.

I look at her shocked. “You’re the only one I have left… What am I supposed to do? Sit back and watch as the world breaks you like it broke me? No. I will do the best I can to protect you and love you. I know it won’t make up for our other friends. But, I can’t lose you too.” I ruffle her hair and kick her out of my bedroom. I open the window and she climbs out, flying into the air. “Glimmer,” She turns around and stares at me. “I promise.”

She gives me a saddened look. “Thank you. I’ll try to do the same for you.”

“No.” I protest. “When you cry, I’ll wipe your tears. I’ll hold you and help you. I’ll save you.”

“Wh-- Then… who saves you?” She asks flying back over to me.

“I save myself, I always have, there’s so much that time cannot erase but I’ll make sure you never feel lonely, I will always protect you and love you. I will hurt anyone who hurts you. You and I will be just fine on our own.” I tell her. “I promise.”

Just thinking about how depressed she made me cry even more. Maybe I can't protect her. What if I fail in being her guardian? What if she gets hurt over and over and over and one day it drives her to the edge? Even if I’m on the edge, I can’t say goodbye because then no one will be there to tell her she’s loved and cared for. She reminds me of a tiny child that needs to be cherished and protected the way I wasn’t.

After ninth grade, I made a decision. I need to protect the only one I have left. I can’t and I won’t take the risk of losing her too. I’m so tired of being this way, my childish fear that they’ll all leave and forget me. This pain I’ve kept inside of me.

After ninth grade, everything changed because so many ponies left. I closed myself off and became even more distant and detached. Every night, I’d cry myself to sleep, thinking about everyone’s who I’ve lost, how every friendship I’ve created has faded. Thinking about it makes me cry and the pain is unbearable.

After ninth grade, I hated everyone and I only kept one expression on my face. A resting bitch face. During school, all I could think about how different it is. I wonder what classes I would have with them if any at all, I think about the only pony I have left and if I don’t protect she’ll fade away too.

The only ponies I cared about was Nightglimmer, Midnight Force, and Star Chaser.

I only showed emotion to Star Chaser. Star Chaser and Midnight Force were my rock, my protectors. They care for me the way I care for Nightglimmer. Everypony else, I’d either flip off, tell them to shut it, or walk away if I didn’t feel like dealing with them. But the only pony I cared, for now, was Nightglimmer. Without her, I’d have no one and I’d be a mess.

All I know is that after ninth grade, my smile became a memory.

Author's Note:

Well, that's the Story guys! Thanks for reading, tell me if you like it and keep reading my other stories!
Thanks again!
~Darkie 09

Comments ( 1 )
Comment posted by Darkie 09 deleted Sep 22nd, 2017
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