• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen July 20th

chillbook1


Goodbye and Goodnight. Bang! | Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/chillybook

T

Mistakes happen. Twilight Sparkle knows that as well as anyone. What she didn't know was how annoyed one could make their girlfriend by making one bad mistake in bed.

Until tonight.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 24 )

This story is weird and makes me cringe. But it also made me laugh multiple times. You get a like for that.

“This doesn’t qualify for ‘sorry’,” said Sunset. “‘Sorry’ is when you step on someone’s foot at the movie theater. ‘Sorry’ is when you knock over someone’s drink. ‘Sorry’ is when you ask ‘When’s the baby due?’ and it turns out the person is just fat.”

Shark Tale reference, I love this story already!

This.....is amazing.

Oh gods that ending :rainbowlaugh:

Shouldn't this be Mature?

How had it never occurred to me that this might happen before?

this should be rated M

8229693

8229714

The sex tag, when used with the mature rating, is used as a warning that the story contains detailed descriptions of sexual acts.

This story does not contain the aforementioned detailed descriptions of sexual acts, therefore, does not require an M rating.

8229337
Shark Tale is one of my favorite animated movies of all time. I'm glad someone caught the reference.

8229743
I caught it too.:twilightsmile:

Oh, man, that story was embarrassing. I was expecting that Twilight pulled a Leonard from "The Big Bang Theory".

8229880
Haven't seen The Big Bang Theory in ages, and don't actually know what you're referring to.

8229741

She wiped her mouth,

That's really close there to explicit. Considering that the only reason that the situation is even funny is because of what they are in the middle of.
If the activity can't be replaced by baking and still retain the humor, it's probably M rated.
Funny story though.

8230328
I stand by the rating. I don't give any detailed descriptions of the sex, therefore, it passes as Teen.

That said, thanks for reading and enjoying!

8230344
I'm sorry you feel that way. Thanks for giving it a try and donating your time.

I don't get what she could've said to make her so mad?

That ‘it’s a substitute for God’ shit isn’t gonna fly.

Understandable, have a great day.

I was expecting Twilight to be faking her orgasm

Comment posted by twidash1993 deleted Jun 14th, 2017

Dude, this needs to be mature. What logic did you use to not make this mature?
Edited to sound like less of a dick. Sorry.

8270262

The sex tag, when used with the mature rating, is used as a warning that the story contains detailed descriptions of sexual acts

That is in excerpt ripped directly from the "Tag Information" section of the FAQ. I was concerned when posting, so I double checked the actual rules and came back with this. No matter how you slice it, there are no detailed descriptions of sexual acts. Any descriptions of sex are extremely vague.

If it's really bothering you that much, PM a mod and ask them. If they agree with you, I'll be more than happy to change it. Til then, this remains T.

Firstly, this is really stretching the barrier of what qualifies as a teen rating. I would've marked this as mature, personally.

Secondly... neither of them felt in character, like at all. The ideas aren't necessarily bad, but the execution was poor. I'm not usually one to bandy about "show don't tell" because that's a rule that people uphold without understanding it should be broken sometimes. But this is a case where showing us would've been much better than telling, specifically in their emotions. But also, just... this didn't feel like I was reading a story involving Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle. It felt like I was reading a story about two random teenage girls whose names happened to match up.

Also I don't think the conflict here makes any sense anyway. Sunset was from Equestria--she surely knows that Celestia's name is invoked as an expression since she's used it herself, and that it would probably be used in sex too like someone saying "Oh my god." So... yeah, I didn't really feel it. Sorry, but this story gets a thumbs down from me

Wow, Twilight was a naughty little freak, growing up wasn't she? :rainbowlaugh:

This made me laugh and both Twi and Sunnybuns felt in character.

Is it weird that I can actually believe Twilight would be a voyeur?

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!