Scootaloo secretly invites Rumble to a try out some sex in a private part of a grassy, rocky area for their three month anniversary. Only to be suddenly kidnapped by two male griffons with a sexual fetish to foals, bondage, and sex toys.
8425914 I guess I did try to add a little hint of humor to this dark story. Especially with the griffons, Glover and Gibson. I should tell you that Glover and Gibson are based the Dragon Ball Z henchmen, Zarbon and Dodoria, with Glover being based on Dodoria, and Gibson being based on Zarbon. Call it a DBZ reference.
8425937 I'm writing stories like this to warm up for a very dark clop/rape-fic prequel story to my story, A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner. Though I think I might do a Yu-Gi-Oh! crossover fan fic of my OC, Raid Raptor dueling The Yu-Gi-Oh Brony in a fan fic version of the hopeful video of his "A Duel with YugiBrony" series. But The Yu-Gi-Oh Brony would be the victor of the duel.
8426541 It meant that they had BDSM ideas to do with each other. Well, don't worry. I'm going to start making more and expanding on the story a bit more.
8441301 I absolutely loved it and I hope you will keep on making an other full story, like maybe they make a new life for them selves and for some reason they continued doing what does two griffins did to them with other fillies and colts or they get recaptured by them and are trained to become sex slaves. I ca't wait to see what will happen next
8441394 I actually have something else in mind already, and it's a positive thing...for the most part.
And I should tell you that I am planning on writing another one sooner or later, but it'll be far bigger, much darker, and horrific than this one, and it's a prequel to my story, A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner. I'll even show you the story plan.
Abacus Sum, a once well respect, and loved resident of Ponyville was sentenced to life in prison for a crime he did not commit. This is his story of the pain, suffering, humiliation, horror, and betrayal he was forced to endure at the infamous Hoofstrong Prison Center.
Contains:Violence, M/M, Anal, Oral, Bestiality, Rimming, Bondage, Blood, Sex Toys/Devices, Excrement and Urine Ingesting, BDSM, and Violent Rape.
Rumble smiled, and giggle quietly to himself, as he slipped the note back into his book bag, and continued to trot down the road back home. He had a feeling what his filly friend had planned for tomorrow, and knew what he should keep it secret since it had something to do with some of those horny pony magazines he secretly brought to school from under his older brother's bed a couple of months ago. It was there that he experienced oral sex for the first time with Scootaloo in the school bathroom while on recess, and had been doing that ever since. He had a feeling that their anniversary tomorrow was going to be so awesome.
8442858 Really? I only saw the first "Diary of The Wimpy Kid" movie once. I didn't like it, though. And I never saw any other "Diary of The Wimpy Kid" movie ever since.
You had quite a lot of grammar mistakes when it came to this, and you misspelled a lot of words as well. I think you should get an editor, that would give the stanzas a lot more sense to it. Other than that it was an interesting read and I loved the couples rape.
8523348 You're the second or third one who's said that about this chapter. I know I need to fix them since I can't seem to find any no matter how many times I check it. But I don't know where to find editors or proofreaders who are up to the task. Plus, I'm a careful man when it comes to asking things like that. The last thing I want is to get it edited and proofread by the wrong person.
Could you perhaps give me examples of what grammar mistakes and misspelled words I'm not seeing that I need to fix, if it's not a hassle?
8523361 Well, for one, practise should be practice, and lucky for him, COULD be luckily for him, any of the two are ok tbh so I don't really stress upon that, Two certain children, a filly and a colt sat together should be, Two certain children, a filly and a colt, sat together. What about Rainbow Dash? Does she know. Should be What about Rainbow Dash? Does she know? since it's still a question. Griffons' rough, spiny cock, should be Griffon's rough shiny cock. I think there's a bit more but most of your errors are just punctuation and easily mistaken spelling and, for grammar it's mostly just forgetting a bit of the SVA rules so it's easy to fix at least.
The school house bell rang to end the school day. Soon after, foals were exiting the building, excited, for it was the Friday, and all of them had fun plans for the weekend. Rumble was among them with Scootaloo walking with him. Rumble and Scootaloo had been dating for three months, and tomorrow was their three month anniversary. As Rumble walked down the road home, he reached into his book bag, and pull out a note that he had got from Scootaloo earlier that day. He looked at it with interest.
Rumble smiled, and giggled quietly to himself,
and knew that he should keep it secret since it had something
making Scootaloo to laugh.
on top of the stallion with her rear facing the stallion's face.
bringing out more pleasure.
At the same time, the the light of the sun began to darken a little,
After a few moments, he gave up. "It's no use. I can't push it out. What are we going to do?"
"Is that it?" Glover's angry expression quickly shifted to an unpressed grin of cockiness,
hanging around over three feet approve the concrete floor in the air like a piñata.
Glover went back over to Scootaloo, and took the gag off of Scootaloo.
making them them spring to life and vibrate inside them,
Glover and Gibson began to groan for they were both close.
almost causing them to choke on the griffon spunk still shooting into their throats.
Please get an editor. But still, made me laugh found comedy in a story that didn't have comedy.
8426920
Well, Good luck!
8425914
I guess I did try to add a little hint of humor to this dark story. Especially with the griffons, Glover and Gibson. I should tell you that Glover and Gibson are based the Dragon Ball Z henchmen, Zarbon and Dodoria, with Glover being based on Dodoria, and Gibson being based on Zarbon. Call it a DBZ reference.
Out of curiosity, what scenes made you laugh?
8425937
I'm writing stories like this to warm up for a very dark clop/rape-fic prequel story to my story, A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner.
Though I think I might do a Yu-Gi-Oh! crossover fan fic of my OC, Raid Raptor dueling The Yu-Gi-Oh Brony in a fan fic version of the hopeful video of his "A Duel with YugiBrony" series. But The Yu-Gi-Oh Brony would be the victor of the duel.
Would that be good?
8426541
It meant that they had BDSM ideas to do with each other.
Well, don't worry. I'm going to start making more and expanding on the story a bit more.
8426925
Thank you. I'll do my best.
8425914
Also, what was wrong with the writing that you think needs to be edited, if I may also ask?
8427010
Your Welcome!
good story, dose that mem erase drink really erase all mem or just the ones in the last 2 days?
8437424
All of their memories.
BTW Thanks for the follow.
This was an interesting read, loved the couple's rape, I will be looking forward to see what will happen next.
8440436
Thanks you. Though I wish 33 of the people who disliked this instantly thought the same.
8441301
I absolutely loved it and I hope you will keep on making an other full story, like maybe they make a new life for them selves and for some reason they continued doing what does two griffins did to them with other fillies and colts or they get recaptured by them and are trained to become sex slaves. I ca't wait to see what will happen next
8441394
I actually have something else in mind already, and it's a positive thing...for the most part.
And I should tell you that I am planning on writing another one sooner or later, but it'll be far bigger, much darker, and horrific than this one, and it's a prequel to my story, A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner. I'll even show you the story plan.
So that's it. I'm writing this story as a warm-up before I start this big one.
8440436
Found You
This, reminded me of diary of the wimpy kid
8442858
Really? I only saw the first "Diary of The Wimpy Kid" movie once. I didn't like it, though. And I never saw any other "Diary of The Wimpy Kid" movie ever since.
8441984
Did you come here to find him or to read clop?
8442880
Hide and seek in the comics is the new thing now
8443675
I see.
You had quite a lot of grammar mistakes when it came to this, and you misspelled a lot of words as well. I think you should get an editor, that would give the stanzas a lot more sense to it. Other than that it was an interesting read and I loved the couples rape.
8523348
You're the second or third one who's said that about this chapter. I know I need to fix them since I can't seem to find any no matter how many times I check it. But I don't know where to find editors or proofreaders who are up to the task. Plus, I'm a careful man when it comes to asking things like that. The last thing I want is to get it edited and proofread by the wrong person.
Could you perhaps give me examples of what grammar mistakes and misspelled words I'm not seeing that I need to fix, if it's not a hassle?
8523361
Well, for one, practise should be practice, and lucky for him, COULD be luckily for him, any of the two are ok tbh so I don't really stress upon that,
Two certain children, a filly and a colt sat together should be, Two certain children, a filly and a colt, sat together. What about Rainbow Dash? Does she know. Should be What about Rainbow Dash? Does she know? since it's still a question. Griffons' rough, spiny cock, should be Griffon's rough shiny cock. I think there's a bit more but most of your errors are just punctuation and easily mistaken spelling and, for grammar it's mostly just forgetting a bit of the SVA rules so it's easy to fix at least.
I want one of those memory erasing potions.
Actually I think I'll buy them in bulk. Do they sell them at Costco?
9080250
I doubt it. LOL!
Thanks for reading, and for the follow.