- Member Since 1st May, 2017
- offline last seen Apr 19th, 2020
CynicallyTwisted
An avid reader and writer. Many sins abroad.
CynicallyTwisted
Joined 1st May, 2017 ·
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The clop was good, however the beginning kind of felt like an essay. It seemed like some of the sentences were forced, but overall good story. Have a +1
8232879
I'm sorry that it seemed forced :/ It really wasn't. I just went with the flow and did what felt right for each character.
I was trying to display what each character felt for one another and why they felt that way so that the relationship made sense and it didn't come out of nowhere.
I like it, felt a little forced and the dialogue was aqwerd as hell as well as needless switch P.O.V. mid story is a writing sin. But over all it was cute and I enjoyed it, I think it could have been made a little better if you had used a little more time to developing characters and romance before just jumping into the clop. But for what it was it was good, you get 1 fav and a solid B-
8233281
I don't see it as a sin since it made sense here. And if you noticed there was development. Through the povs you see just how they feel about each other and why. I was going to add scenes of them playing the game together and stuff but it felt unnecessary and it would have just dragged on.
POV switching isn't a sin to writing. To say it is is just an opinion, but thanks for the fav.
Where did you find the cover art?
We need more Spike x Thorax stories.
8233681
Ikr??
8233653
PM me I'll give you the link
8233653
Did you get my PM?
8234075
Thanks!
8234321
I did!!!!
A very nice story, maybe a little rushed, but still good.
8235120
I will admit that it was rushed a bit. I just wanted a story for the ship out there because I haven't seen any.
8235263
Well i'm glad you did, can I ask for the source of the image?
8235384
https://e621.net/post/show/991299/2016-aged_up-anal-anal_penetration-butt-changeling
If anyone sees any grammar mistakes or typos, let me know. I've fixed what I've seen so far.
Not gonna lie, but I wish I could join those two sexy beasts in a 3 way! <3 <3<3
By the way, I'd like to inform you, https://lopoddityart.tumblr.com/ is the original artist of the picture, please give her proper credit
8233047
8301179
Did you not read the comments? Someone asked me for it and I gave it to them.
8374028
I apologise. it's my fault for not checking
8374028
your icon is the best spike ever
If I would have read this during NO N U T November i would have lost all the way
...
I want a sequel...
Personally this is a really good read. Would like more from you to get more of that Spike x Thorax love.