• Member Since 1st May, 2017
  • offline last seen Saturday

CynicallyTwisted


An avid reader and writer. Many sins abroad.

Comments ( 26 )

The clop was good, however the beginning kind of felt like an essay. It seemed like some of the sentences were forced, but overall good story. Have a +1

8232879
I'm sorry that it seemed forced :/ It really wasn't. I just went with the flow and did what felt right for each character.

I was trying to display what each character felt for one another and why they felt that way so that the relationship made sense and it didn't come out of nowhere.

I like it, felt a little forced and the dialogue was aqwerd as hell as well as needless switch P.O.V. mid story is a writing sin. But over all it was cute and I enjoyed it, I think it could have been made a little better if you had used a little more time to developing characters and romance before just jumping into the clop. But for what it was it was good, you get 1 fav and a solid B-

8233281
I don't see it as a sin since it made sense here. And if you noticed there was development. Through the povs you see just how they feel about each other and why. I was going to add scenes of them playing the game together and stuff but it felt unnecessary and it would have just dragged on.

POV switching isn't a sin to writing. To say it is is just an opinion, but thanks for the fav.

Where did you find the cover art?

We need more Spike x Thorax stories.

8233653
PM me I'll give you the link

Comment posted by Jazzmania Chronicle deleted Jun 15th, 2017

A very nice story, maybe a little rushed, but still good. :pinkiesmile:

8235120
I will admit that it was rushed a bit. I just wanted a story for the ship out there because I haven't seen any.

8235263
Well i'm glad you did, can I ask for the source of the image?

If anyone sees any grammar mistakes or typos, let me know. I've fixed what I've seen so far.

Not gonna lie, but I wish I could join those two sexy beasts in a 3 way! <3 <3<3

By the way, I'd like to inform you, https://lopoddityart.tumblr.com/ is the original artist of the picture, please give her proper credit
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8301179
Did you not read the comments? Someone asked me for it and I gave it to them.

8374028
I apologise. it's my fault for not checking

8374028
your icon is the best spike ever

Comment posted by Imgoingtopokeyourface deleted Dec 7th, 2018

If I would have read this during NO N U T November i would have lost all the way

Personally this is a really good read. Would like more from you to get more of that Spike x Thorax love.

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