The Griffon of Metal and The Pony of Bass

Gilda had flown out to see an old friend only for it to end in disaster. Now at a club (the only place with halfways decent drinks) she simply wants to drink in peace. Vinyl Scratch, unfortunately, will make that impossible.

Rated teen for language.

A little something I came up with for Jake’s Horse Word Extravaganza.
You can, hopefully, find more obscure shippings here.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 10 )

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QuirkyGallade

QuirkyGallade #1 · Jun 12th, 2017 · · ·

This is quite good. it had a natural feel to it. with only a couple thousand words one would think it's be rushed, but it flowed so well. I know this is a one shot but I wouldn't mind seeing this take off into a more in depth piece. it's got big potential. I think you got a decent chance with this. good luck my friend.

LucidDreamer

LucidDreamer #2 · Jun 12th, 2017 · · ·

8227858
Why thank you I may do a series of one-shots with these two if it does well enough.

QuirkyGallade

QuirkyGallade #3 · Jun 12th, 2017 · · ·

I'd absolutely read more of this. That's for sure

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #4 · Jun 12th, 2017 · · ·

Some proofreading flubs here and there, and the naked Gilda apologism isn't winning me over, though that's largely a matter of clashing headcanons. The biggest issue lies in one simple fact: I'm reading this story somewhere where I can't listen to music.

I have to judge the contest entries based on the text, not whatever else accompanies it, and this one feels more like a playlist with a framing device than a story in its own right. I can see the chemistry here, but it's a fairly rudimentary reaction. In short, this needed a lot more to it to counterbalance all of the tracks. Text that described the sensation of playing together as it was happening would've gone a long way.

LucidDreamer