Conspiring Lies
Edited by:
PieisGood4U
Blazinblade7
fireshadow11
“Ace, I’m not sure if I can do this. I’ve never told a lie like this before.” Summer said, looking up at me with a worried frown.
I knew that I was asking a lot of her here. It takes a certain kind of person to tell a lie perfectly, someone brazen to the point of being fearless. You can’t show any uncertainty, any hesitation, or the lie is stripped away. These people need to have a twisted sense of honesty, so that they can honestly believe the lie they are telling. Most people refer to this as acting and use it to earn quite a lot of money in the entertainment industry.
I am glad to say that Summer is not one of these despicable people, unlike yours truly.
Still, whilst her integrity is endearing, it is also quite inconvenient at the moment. We were just about to enter the Maneapolis office of the East Equestrian Trading Company, officious looking hats perched upon our heads and Summer levitating a clipboard, which we had acquired as we passed through the market, next to her. If anyone dared to look at the piece of parchment attached to the board they would see it to be blank save for the rather silly picture of a smiley face that I had doodled upon it.
It had been quite a long walk, I had gotten bored.
This, of course, meant that Summer had to play her part to perfection, which I worry may be beyond her abilities. I hate to think this, and I would never say it to her face, but she was the weak link in this plan. Iron at least had some acting ability from his time as a stage performer and as for me...
Well, I’d never really stopped lying.
But Summer? She was a Guard, with all the training and uprightness that went with such a position. She had probably always been taught that honesty was the best policy, no matter what. If I could do her job for her I would, but it might look slightly suspicious if a never before seen creature walked into an office claiming to be working for the Equestrian Government.
Even if it is technically true now.
Cap'n, our shields canna repel irony of tha’ magnitude!
“Don’t worry Summer, I’m sure you’ll do great.” I replied, trying to sound cheerful.
Is that seriously the best advice that I can give her?
“I believe in you!” I added lamely.
Oh god, we’re all gonna die!
Despite my rather pessimistic thoughts, Summer actually seemed to be cheered up by the horrible cliché, perking up slightly and changing her frown of worry into a frown of determination.
The difference was slight...but noticeable. Summer can pull off a really good determined frown. Provided she keeps that exact same facial expression throughout this entire mission we might just pull this off.
We had arrived at the front door of the Company’s office, a large dark piece of wood, perhaps made of mahogany, set into the stone walls. The main purpose of the oversized door, other than as an entryway into their building, seemed to be to intimidate anyone who saw it and loudly proclaim ‘Look at us! Look how much money we have!’
Oh, I am going to enjoy stealing all of your precious currency.
I placed one hand upon the doorway and looked down at Summer.
“You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” She responded firmly.
I tried to push the enormous door open, only for it to refuse to budge an inch under my puny attempts. Next to me Summer rolled her eyes at me before lighting up her horn and wrapping the doors in a telekinetic field, yanking them open violently. All the ponies inside the lobby turned to look at her as she strode forwards, confident and in command.
I followed behind in her shadow, trying to look inconspicuous without actually looking like I’m trying. After all, if people noticed that I wanted to go unnoticed, that would kinda defeat the entire purpose.
It can get a bit confusing after a while. If you’re not careful it can be quite easy to forget if you are supposed to be the one hiding or the one standing out.
The pony on the reception desk, a young mare, trembled as Summer marched her way over. I can’t really blame the poor girl, Summer looks pretty damn scary at the moment. The black peaked cap, combined with the scowl on her face, screamed of military authority. The terrifying look in her eyes only had to whisper about her eagerness to enforce this authority.
Damn Summer, you scary.
“Corporal Storm, Equestrian Internal Affairs, I am here under an officially sanctioned inspection. I demand access to any and all documentation.” She barked at the mare, who cowered slightly.
“Y-yes, right away!” The mare responded fearfully.
“Right away what?” Summer said, leaning in slightly.
“Right away ma’am!” The mare said, throwing a salute, for some reason, and scurrying off.
“You’re doing great, keep it up.” I leaned down and whispered into my unicorn compatriots ear.
“I don’t know if I can. Sweet Celestia, did you see how scared that mare was? Of me! I don’t like this Ace.” She whispered back, a hint of distress in her voice.
“Just a bit longer. We only need to get into the room where they keep the documents.” I urged her to stick to the plan, hoping that her own revulsion wouldn’t get the best of her. She really was not cut out for this stuff. She nodded in response, squeezing her eyes shut and gulping, as if she were swallowing her pride.
Some friend I am, corrupting her like this.
But it is necessary...right?
Before either Summer or I could protest to our current course of action we were already set upon it. The receptionist hurried back, followed by a flustered looking stallion in an ill-fitting suit. He was drenched in nervous sweat and his mane was arranged into what must have been the pony version of a comb over. Everything about him screamed accountant, from the neatly lined up quills poking out of his top pocket to the way his eyes darted around, looking for an escape route.
I wonder if accountants get taught advanced fleeing alongside mathematics...
He hurried over to Summer, almost tripping over his shaking hooves in his haste, and stuck out one clammy forehoof as he introduced himself.
“H-h-hello, I a-am Pencil P-pusher.” He stuttered out, his extended forehoof shaking, despite the fact that Summer had not taken it in her own and was, in fact, staring at it in disgust as though it was the lowliest of worms.
“Corporal Storm, Equestrian Internal Affairs.” She replied cooly, still glaring at the Pencil’s forehoof as if she were willing the offending appendage to burst into flame.
Knowing Summer, that actually had a fairly likely chance of happening.
“M-may I see some ident-” He gulped nervously before finishing. “Identification.”
In response Summer simply turned her powerful, malice filled gaze from the forehoof and to the stallion’s eyes. As he stared into those cold orbs, Pencil began to shake even more, to the point where he appeared to be nothing more than a quaking pile of flesh rather than an actual pony.
“On second t-hought, let’s j-just forget all about th-that.”
“I thought as much.” Summer replied, her voice as cold as polar ice.
Pencil Pusher hurried off, indicating that we should follow him. We did so, traversing the monotonous corridors that made up the interior of the building, passing office cubicles filled with dull eyed ponies who seemed to be more like zombies than actual sentient beings.
Dear god, this is what hell must be like.
Eventually, Pencil led us to a large, vault-like door. It was a huge circular thing made entirely of what looked like steel, set into thick stone walls. I stared at it, impressed by the sheer sense of security that such a door radiated. It would take an army to so much as dent it.
Luckily, I have no intention of breaking the door. I don’t even intend to break into it.
They’re going to let me in after all.
Pencil glanced over to us before walking up to the door and beginning to spin the oversized dial, forcing it around to point to the numbers that unlocked the deadbolt. Once he had finished he grabbed a large bar in his teeth and, exerting all the strength he could muster, began to slowly drag the door open to allow us access.
“That will be all. Leave us.” Summer said to him, the nervous wreck of an accountant hurrying away at this release.
We both stepped inside the vault, Summer casually swinging the huge door shut behind her with her magic. The moment the huge slab of metal boomed shut, she let out a relieved sigh and dropped the disguise of the austere military commander.
“Sorry about that Summer.” I apologized honestly.
“It’s fine, I know it is necessary. It’s just...let’s not do this again, okay?” She looked up at me, her eyes shimmering as if she were about to cry.
It’s very easy to forget that other people have morals. Especially when you make them violate those morals.
“Alright, I promise.” She nodded at this and wiped a hoof across her face, sucking up her tears. When she had finished, she was back to her old self. Proud and brimming with determination.
“Let’s get to work.” She said, looking round at the various filing cabinets and piles of paper that surrounded us. “Despite how he looks, I doubt that Pencil Pusher is an idiot when it comes to accounts. He won’t leave anything incriminating just lying around.”
“Agreed, which is where the next part of the plan comes in...”
Several hours later, Summer used her magic to open the door to the vault, striding out to meet the hesitant looking Pencil Pusher.
“D-does everything appear to be in order?” He asked, cowering away from her gaze yet again.
“For now, I shall have to come back tomorrow for a more...thorough review.” She replied, allowing a small, dangerous smile onto her face. Pencil’s responding gulp was so audible that I could hear it all the way from my position hidden inside the vault.
“Erm..excuse me but...wasn’t there t-two of you e-earlier?” He asked as Summer began to walk past him. She stopped, slowly turning to him and leaning in close, those cold orbs staring into his own frightened ones.
“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” She said, the tone of voice brooking no argument.
She turned and stomped away, leaving Pencil Pusher to close the vault on his own.
And leaving me inside.
Iron Will currently looked like the highest of nobles, the most eloquent of poets, the fanciest of fops.
In short, he felt like a complete idiot.
“Sir, Master Margin will see you now.” A snooty sounding butler pony said to him, somehow managing to look up at Iron Will and yet look down his nose at him at the same time.
That must be quite a hard skill to learn. It’s all in the muzzle.
Iron rose from the bench on which he had been seated whilst Profit Margin ‘prepared’ himself for Iron’s arrival. As far as the huge minotaur was concerned, all this social postering was more than a little pointless. It was the high society equivalent of muscle flexing, something that Iron had done a lot in his younger days, and thus, had a lot of experience in how stupid it all was.
Still, if Profit Margin wanted to delay and give him more time to prepare then Iron wasn’t about to protest.
Iron followed the butler through the hallways of Margin’s manor house, past artistic portraits with gilded frames and elaborately carved statues, each depicting Earth Ponies in crowns or noble attire. Iron was slowly getting the impression that Margin was trying to suggest something with his decor.
The butler led him through the twisting halls and to a section of the house that seemed closed off from the rest of the mansion, as if it radiated a sense of privacy.
“Milord’s study is beyond this door.” The butler’s nasally voice announced as he gestured to a large wooden entryway, the polish upon the wood causing it to gleam.
Iron placed one finger upon the portal and gently pushed it open, painfully aware of how easy it would be just to punch through the obstacle. He couldn’t just go throwing his strength around though, he knew that sometimes cunning beat strength. He just hoped that Ace’s plan was cunning enough.
“Greetings Lord Will, welcome to my humble abode. I must apologize for the delay, I was simply swamped in work.” The Earth pony looked up from where he was sat by the fireplace, the large chair that served as his seat practically enveloping him.
Profit Margin was...an unusual Earth pony. Many ponies of the Earth kin are larger than their fellow subspecies, for some it is slight whilst others are like giants by comparison. Margin, however, was slight, and thinly built. He would look as out of place on a farm as Iron would at a high society ball. His mane, a wispy thing that hung down near his eyes, gave him a permanent aura of frailness, though his eyes would make one reconsider that thought. For in those eyes Iron saw a ruthlessness that completely went against any preconceptions one might form about the body they inhabited.
“You must know what that is like right?” Margin continued, looking Iron up and down, taking in his fine, flowery clothing. “But then again, considering the proposition that you have come here with, perhaps not.”
Iron chose to remain silent, simply nodding and taking a seat in the chair opposite Margin, his bulky frame fitting well into the large chair, unlike the slight stallion before him who seemed to be on the verge of being swallowed by the upholstery.
“I understand that you are down on your luck, and that you are looking for a...solution?” Margin said, sounding slightly smug as he lorded it over the ‘disgraced noble’
“Aye, luck has not been so kind to me as of late.” Iron rumbled, trying his best to sound like an aristocrat. “I have suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and, sadly, have fallen before their onslaught.”
“How...poetic.” Margin commented wryly.
“Indeed. Now for the business at hand, I assume you are aware of my proposition.” Iron said, trying to move the conversation along.
“Quite, though why don’t we go over it in full. Just to be absolutely certain of all the little details.” Margin replied, clearly willing to draw a noble’s humiliation out for as long as possible.
“Very well. I’ve encountered more than a few financial troubles back home. The land that I own, the Fiery Peaks, used to be rich in various minerals and ores, however, a recent earthquake shifted the majority of them into the territory of a bitter rival. Needless to say he was quick to capitalise on my misfortune and...” Iron continued to tell the prepared story, surprised at how easily the lie flowed from his lips. He supposed it was all of his experience at stage performance. After all, he was just playing another part here. Just acting. “To conclude, I heard about your...generous offers to other nobles, and how they cruelly shot you down, and decided that perhaps we might be able to come to a mutually beneficial arrangement.”
“I believe I may very well be able to help you. Alright Lord Will, I will purchase from you your lands, their riches and, most importantly, your titl-”
“Sir! Sir!” The butler shouted, bursting into the study. Margin glared at his subordinate whilst Iron began to worry about why he might be bursting in.
Ace hasn't gone and done some stupid has he?
“What is it you fool?!” Margin demanded angrily.
“A message from Pencil Pusher over at the office. He says that Equestrian Internal Affairs has performed a surprise inspection today and that they’ll be back tomorrow!”
“What?! Did they find anything?”
“No sir, not yet at least.”
“I apologize Lord Will, but I must sadly cut this meeting short. Rest assured that I will be able to continue with our business tomorrow but, for now, I am required elsewhere.” Margin addressed Iron, his composure back to being the calm and collected businesspony.
This stallion may actually be a better actor than I am...
“Very well, I know how hard it must be for you...business types. Until next we meet.” Iron replied, before getting up and walking out.
Trying his best not to look like he was fleeing a crime scene.
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Oh, i sense trouble on the horizon. I can hardly wait.
Very nice!
Great chapter! I look forward to seeing what Ace can pull off in there.
Hell hath no fury like an angry mare...
quoted because hats
this story can only be called 'Quite amazing' and 'Dazzling'.
Keep up the good work.
1395762 I think you mean an angry mother.
Yeoman, out
I don't really get the point of what Iron just did, I assume it had to do with confirming that the pony was hiding something (which according to the butler, he is). I look forward to finding out
...Shakespeare? ...really? ... xD
Well I guess if you're gonna go all... poetic might as well as use one of the best! 
yes,
energy slinging unicorns can be very intimidating
"Trying his best not to look like he was fleeing a crime scene"
Oh man that's rich
Sir Iron Will of Denmark :D
1396001
cynical-c.com/images/indubitably128597039696366331.jpg
need the monocle as well.
I think I'm starting to see how this is going to play out.
1402938 Excuse me, is there a hat atop that cat's head? No? Then remove it's impoverished, impecunious, indigent, obviously IRISH feline posterior from this fine establishment!
Ace: Don't believe in yourself!
Summer: Huh-?
Ace: Belive in me! Believe in the Ace who believes in you!
Pinkie Pie: What does that mean?!
Instad of ocean's eleven, it's ace's three. Great chapter, keep goin and stay golden^^
Fleeing the scene? Why, perish the thought!
1395762
hell hath no fury like a pregnant Pinkie
hmmm a mood swinging pregnant pinkie pie.... "shudder" who knows what could happen?
2100333
Oh gods no
1402938 Mmmmmnyeh
1396001 Needs More Hats.......
If I ever heard about this in any other story, I would think that Iron Will acting as an aristocrat was just a load of bull.
2616191 Oh god, why didn't I think of that?
when summer was acting she reminded me of a character from an anime i watch
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8i5zsPlhJ1qagnf2o1_1280.png
2908871 What anime is that?
3162294 ... You seriously don't know Full Metal Alchemist?
Olivier Armstrong
I didn't even think of it till now, but I think I'm always frowning(That or I always have a blank face and can't frown, I also rarely smile unless I'm laughing, even then the smile doesn't last long; I, admittedly, put on a fake smile quite often, usually to make my nieces happy since I'm their favorite Uncle and they seem to copy me quite a bit I try to at least seem happier more often so they'll be happy more often), it would explain why people always think I'm mad, sad, or annoyed; though the tone I have when I get interrupted while I'm reading, focusing, relaxing(Which is quite often, the reading and focusing moreso), and even just when I have to talk most of the time probably doesn't help. Sorry, rambling... again...
That one hell of a Stunt to pull
This is going to be awesome 