Thirty Minute Ponies

by Arcainum

An Astounding Revelation

Prompt #78: Two of the Mane Six have just learned that they’re related

“Goodness, is that so?” Rarity brought her cup to her lips and sipped daintily. The tea was still scalding, and she almost dropped the fine china as she pursed her lips and blew in an attempt to cool her mouth down.

“Oh yes, I was very surprised. Um, are you okay?” Fluttershy leaned forward attentively, but Rarity waved her away and swallowed quickly.

“Oh, don’t worry. I am simply too eager to try this delicious brew. Earl Palamino, isn’t it?”

Fluttershy nodded and sat back down, her relief clear on her face. “I, um, think so. I hear it’s very good.”

“Oh my, yes. But remind me to leave it until I can drink it without hurting myself next time, hmm?”

Fluttershy giggled, before returning to the conversation at hand. “So, um, yes. I was talking to Whiplash the other day and he said that Rapier Wit and Truestrike are getting married.”

Rarity stared briefly into space thoughtfully. “I never thought I’d see the day, I must admit. That Truestrike has always been one for quick decisions, but… Rapier Wit? Are they really suited for each other?”

Fluttershy looked uncomfortable at judging another pony’s relationship choices, but nevertheless replied. “I… Well, I’ve heard that, um, they get on really well. And they’ve known each other since flight camp. Hair Flair told me that-”

“Wait, Fluttershy, you know Hair Flair? I thought you didn’t use her salon.”

Fluttershy blinked at the unexpected interruption before stuttering in response. “Oh, um, she’s a relative.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “A relative? How close?”

“Um… She’s my mother’s half-sister’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s nephew’s husband’s sister.”

Rarity gasped, bringing a hoof to her chest in shock. “My goodness, what a coincidence! The reason I frequented her salon in the first place is that she’s my father’s cousin’s wife’s nephew’s son’s wife! I suppose that makes us related.”

Fluttershy thought about this for a moment. “Um, that’s quite interesting.”

Rarity nodded and took another sip of tea. “Indeed! It’s a small kingdom, after all.” There was a moment of silence as Rarity savoured her drink before continuing. “So, do tell me what she was saying.”

Epilogue

AND NOTHING EVER CAME OF IT.

~~~~~

Note: Yeah, by this point I'm pretty much actively subverting the prompts. I really like trying to think of things that other people aren't going to and, if the snippets of the TMP mods' chat I've seen are anything to go by, I'm doing an okay job of it! This one was fun because I love anti-jokes, where the joke is that there isn't one. Making the potentially huge fact of the Mane 6 having two relations in it a complete non-entity was just my attempt at that.

Comments

[RTStephens]

Seems legit. I at the non-reaction of the two.

[Misterf]

"Nephew's Husband's..."

alrighty, then.

[GITPSilverbolt]

"So what does that make us?"
"Absolutely nothing!"

[Psykosis]

I liked this chapter! Anti-jokes (when done well) are often miles better than just a joke would be.

1104314
Aw man! You beat me to it!