• Member Since 4th Aug, 2016
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Kinni


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Due to some very strange events, Sunset Shimmer ends up in a relationship with the human versions of the entire mane six, all at the same time. And then she somehow gets a seventh girlfriend, who is actually her version from the human world. Twilight really wants to hear the story about how that happened, so the narration of a tale filled with shenanigans begins...

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 42 )

I feel a little bit bad because I started reading it to see how bad it was and I actually think it's pretty well written and starts the story in a pretty good way. So I'll give it a follow and see where it goes.

It's polite to ask first about this sort of thing, you know. :derpytongue2:

Of course I would have said yes pretty much no matter what. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. :twilightsmile:

"Princess Celestia actually managed to find my human version. She heard about me and agreed to come as an exchange student to our school."

I'm just going to leave this here. Okay? Okay!:twilightsmile::raritywink::scootangel:

This is not especially well-written. Also, it seems as though perhaps this is meant to be a sequel to something else, given it references something that the characters take as an established event which already happened, yet no effort is made to show the reader said event? If this is a sequel, please tag it as a sequel.

As to the problems with your writing...

- Too much missing punctuation.
- You're doing a lot of telling and virtually no showing. The golden rule of writing is "Show, don't tell."
- The dialogue between the characters has no soul. It feels lifeless. I'm reading it, and I don't really see any of the characters speaking. I just see empty words without a voice or a soul. You could plug any name into the attribution and it would change nothing. If you can't write characters in-voice and in-character, you've already failed as a storyteller.

This just isn't interesting enough, or well-written enough, to bother with.

8222780
Sounds like the sequel to For the Love of Sunset, which in and of itself is the sequel to a series of one shots shipping Sunset with one of each of the Main 6's human counterparts.

8222780
8222836
Indeed, this is an alternate continuation of the story with only the original Sunset being in the middle of all of those relationships. Hope to see more about it.

8222717
Oh, shit. Sorry man. I was planning to do it. But I was so tired yesterday when I finished the first chapter that I completely forgot about it.

8222710
Hahaha. I know how it is man, stories like this that are actually good are rarer than alicorns. I just hope I can make this work well.

Lol firaga and zio.

Final fantasy and shin megami right.

Sunset Shimmer uses Fire!

It's super effective!

This seems like a logical out come as the movies show a steady increase of Magik so it makes Sense. if it's just part of the world so be it but till otherwise stated I'd like to think that the college has a new course titled arcane-sciences headed by Trixie (what thought I'd say sci-twi?)

Nice little curb-stomp chapter

I Like... But is really short

Ri2

...This is an awesome school.

As soon as we were all together, I could feel the locket filling me with extra power drawn from the connection. Now, things had changed.

Avengers Assemble!

sunset when you fire (heh) attack from your finger like that you need to say SPIRIT GUN

why has this story not updated in so long its great

8998532
You're in luck. I actually got back to this recently, and the next chapter should come soon.

Wow, its been awhile since the last update, great work!

I had practically forgotten about this story. But now that she's back in action I want to give you my trust because I was enjoying it a lot: I'll give you a big thumb up and put it among the favorites.

p.s: it is true that Sunset has a relationship with all of them, but I can tell you that this chapter will surely be the one I like most of all because I'm a huge fan of Sci-Set. Good job, I hope to see the new chapters as soon as possible.

8999704
Thanks. I actually got motivated to work on this story when someone commented on all the chapters on the FF.net version, so they get some credit as well.

8999730
Well... There will be other chapters focusing on Sci-Twi, so maybe you will like one of them even more.

good chapter thoe question did they come up with a nick name for human sunset

8999790
You'll see next chapter.

Yep, things just got officially weird.

Nah, summoning a lot of ninjas means individual ninjas are weak. Conservation of Ninjutsu, and all that. One really good Ninja per portal would have been better.

Good thing this villain doesn't read TV Tropes. :ajsmug:

Wait, is this based of off the story 'For the Love of Sunset'?

So this is due to the others having their memories scrambled?

“Yeah...” Sunset sighed “Getting six girlfriends, specially those six... I kinda became a legend in the school, so guys kept sending me messages like that.” Then she smirked “And most of them didn't like when I told them the truth.”

What was the truth?

'First. Don't call girls “Bitches”, this is a lack of respect that would be a fatal flaw for most romantic prospects. Second, if you want to receive romantic affection from a girl, the ideal path is based on empathy. You must care about the girl's feelings and concerns and grant them the highest degree of priority. You must try to understand the girl and her interests. You must make your intentions clear and discuss things honestly with her. With all this together, it is possible to get a girl, and if you are rejected anyway, the most important point is to accept her decision (caring about her feelings, remember?) and try your luck with another one. In regards to having multiple partners, this is something that needs to be discussed between you and the girls, and trying to force things would only backfire.'

That is surprisingly good.

“You know how it is...” Sunset started “Part of the reason why I fell out with Celestia was feeling like she was hiding things from me. So I thought another version of me would probably feel similarly if I kept withholding things until she was 'ready'.”

What’s with the quotes around ready?

Because that was when it started. Dozens of amorphous shadow figures emerged from the darkened patches around the building. Bigger than humans but not much, those figures slid quickly across the ground. One of them came to attack me, and I pointed a finger at it and shot a small spell to pierce through it and destroy it.

She can do that?

She kept frozen for a moment, before having her eyes widen dramatically. The reason for that was because most of the other people who were nearby had pulled out similar wands and were currently blasting at the shadow things. Yells of “Expeliarmus!”, “Alakazam!”, “Firaga!”, “Zio!” and other things were sounding. The spells weren't as powerful as mine, being unable to destroy the creatures in one shot, but they were enough to keep them at bay and slowly whittle them down.

How do they have magic?

10846705
Your questions about magic are answered a few chapters after this.

“The situation is under control.” I said, putting some seriousness into my voice, because this was new to Sunset, something which I had almost forgotten “There's an automatic escape system.”

They have that?

A sound from above made me look, and what I saw was Rainbow Dash, leaping from the top of the institute building and softening her landing with a burst of magic, before looking up at me with her usual grin. And she was only the first.

Didn’t know magic could do that.

“Ah can go in front using barrier magic.” Was Applejack's contribution.

She has that?

“You'll have to give me a few more details later.” Twilight looked interested “You weren't as advanced in the use of the pendants the last time I went there.”

Pendants?

You should understand more or less how it is to do that kind of united magic. The feeling is a little like how it was in the battle against the sirens, but less... spontaneous. It just felt like we had an understanding and could communicate our intentions clearly.

What does that mean?

“Ah, that was actually my doing.” She smiled “There was an incident where we had to fight some guy called 'King of Darkness', and we ended up harnessing the feeling of everyone on campus to defeat him.” She paused for a moment “That was strictly a one time thing, but all of them started asking us how they could help, so eventually I created those artifacts that contain spells. They are powered by the formations on campus and can only be used here, but they are activated and directed by the students.”

Not better than having actual magic, but can’t complain.

“Well... Essentially, because magic is starting to bloom is this world due to certain events, you could say that the source of magic here is incredibly pure.” I was the one who answered this time “Because of that, it keeps attracting dimensional monsters and similar things that want that pure magic for themselves.” I sighed “Thankfully, the fact that the magic here is still not mature also means that it is difficult to affect this world directly, so even the biggest threats can only use a fraction of their power when they come here, so we are able to hold on.”

What does that mean?

“After that, I guess you could say that things settled down, mostly.” Sunset said to Princess Twilight “I started introducing Sunset to the basics about what we knew of magic, specially the traits specific to the magic of the human world.

Like what?

The lecture was pretty good, since Moonstone was a good speaker and had prepared previously. The main theme of it was avoiding tying down a magic system with too many rules, because that destroys the sense of wonder that should be inherent in magic.

That’s actually interesting.

At that point we were already safely away from the crowd, and halfway towards to the snack bar where we would eat our lunch, because I was very efficient in escaping from awkward situations, a skill that had become more and more necessary as of late.

Can confirm that it is.

Apparently, during one of her regular inspections of our magical keystones, Rainbow Dash discovered that three of them, which was almost half, had been stolen and replaced with very convincing fakes.

Keystones?

“So, this was revealed after three of them had already been stolen...” I muttered aloud “Looks like the story-magic based defenses we put on the keystones are working properly.” I told Twilight.

Story-magic?

Sunset shook her head “Please, don't make me have this discussion again, I already had it with my Twilight.” She blinked “In fact, why don't I hand you a transcript of that conversation, that would answer any questions you could have, right?” Sunset smiled wanly.

What kind of questions did twilight need answers to?

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