Prologue - What are the chances of that happening?
“Wha- Are you bucking serious?!” Twilight exclaimed.
This wasn't proper behavior for a princess, but Twilight Sparkle couldn't help it, the words she had just heard were just way too unexpected.
The pony who had shocked Princess Twilight Sparkle into that was a unicorn called Sunset Shimmer, who was doing one of her usual visits to Equestria and was talking with her friend about her recent experiences in the human world.
She smirked “Yep. I am one hundred percent serious.”
Sunset had already visited her old teacher and talked with Twilight's friends, but she hadn't talked a lot about what she had been doing lately until this point, where she and Twilight were discussing things in one of the rooms of Twilight's castle, just as a general form of catch-up for all the day-to-day things. Apparently, the reason why she had been so tight-lipped about her activities in the human world since her last visit was solely so that she could better surprise Twilight at that point.
And what exactly had surprised Twilight so much?
“Are you telling me that, somehow, ever since your last visit, you've entered into a romantic relationship with the human versions of myself and my friends?” Twilight said in an incredulous voice.
“Indeed. That is exactly what happened.” Sunset was still smirking.
Twilight started to boggle at her, but then she took a deep breath and calmed herself down. She asked:
“Could you tell me how exactly this happened?”
Seeing that Twilight had recovered, Sunset also stopped smirking and spoke seriously “It was a strange story. Do you remember that deal about the dimensional transfer machine?”
“Yes. It is pretty hard to forget when Twilight gave me a blow-by-blow of the entire adventure.” The princess answered.
“Right. The thing is, Twilight decided that it would be safer just to make the machine look at alternate realities and she did the necessary alterations. Only... during the first test, an accident happened.” Sunset said with a funny, embarrassed expression.
“An accident, huh...” Twilight said.
“Yes. It was something pretty weird and unexpected. But the accident caused the machine to malfunction, and it connected with some similar realities...” Sunset shook her head “It was complex, but by the end of it, each one of the six had memories in their head of an alternate reality where I was in a relationship with them.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow “That is truly a weird situation. So, each of them thought they were Sunset's girlfriend, which must have been confusing when the others said the same.”
“You think that was confusing? I somehow managed to get memories for every one of the alternate realities. One where I was Applejack's girlfriend, one where I was Rarity's and so on and so forth.” She sighed “Contradictory memories aren't any fun, specially because I also had my normal memories... Thankfully, the realities connected were pretty similar, so apart from the relationship things, the rest of the memories were all the same, which made it easier to cope.”
“I can tell that this would be an awkward situation.” Twilight pointed out unnecessarily.
“Indeed.” Sunset nodded “It was soon decided that Twilight would fix the machine and use it to remove all foreign memories... But it took three weeks for her to do that.”
“And the potential for particularly special shenanigans in even only three weeks of such a situation is close to unlimited.” Twilight snarked.
“Got it in one.” Sunset nodded “There were all those memories affecting their behavior, combined with their hormones and our already good relationship... Well, I ended up getting very close to them by the end of those weeks.” Sunset said, unable to resist showing a grin.
“I can imagine you did.” Twilight spoke with only a little bit of of snark added to it.
“And then the process was completed and we were all returned to normal.” Sunset adopted a lecturing tone “Only the memories from the last three weeks were all still there, and things got a little awkward for the next four days. Until the six got together, talked about it, and decided to make a proposal to me.”
“And here we have it.” Twilight said.
“Yes. They decided to share me, initially just to see if it would work out... But things have been going well, and I'm managing to make them happy.” Sunset spoke with a broad smile on her face.
“I can't even imagine that... Just one significant other is already so complicated.” Twilight spoke sincerely.
“Trixie, right? I know her human version a bit, but I never saw her here.” Sunset said.
“She has her own schedule and it never happened to coincide with one of your visits.” Twilight shrugged.
“Okay...” Sunset thought for a bit “Ah. There is another interesting thing that happened.”
“What?”
“Principal Celestia actually managed to find my human version. She heard about me and agreed to come as an exchange student to our school.” She put a hoof on her chin “I offered to share my room with her, because it could be interesting.”
Twilight just stared at her friend “Interesting... Yeah, you are definitely the kind that can't have a quiet life... Just be careful not to end up seducing her too.” The princess joked.
Sunset scoffed “Ah, come on, Twilight. What are the chances of that happening?”
-0-
On their next meeting...
“And what do you have to say for yourself?” Twilight asked Sunset, looking at her like she was a misbehaving student.
“I... Was not careful enough?” Sunset shrugged, with an abashed expression.
Twilight gave her the flattest look possible. Sunset actually got reminded of her time as Celestia's student.
It seemed like Twilight really was taking well to being a princess.
Sunset sighed “It was also really unexpected for me... There wasn't any big event that caused the human Sunset to also become my girlfriend. It was more like a succession of small events that pushed things forward little by little, to the point where I didn't realize what was going on until it was too late.”
Twilight also sighed “I can barely imagine. How many times were there mistaken identity shenanigans involving you two?”
“Weirdly, never.” Sunset spoke with a disbelieving voice “There were a lot of shenanigans, but none of them involved mistaken identities in that sense.”
Twilight put a hoof to her face “That only makes me more curious! That's it, then. You are not leaving until I have heard the entire story from you!”
“Are... are you sure? Because this is a pretty long story, and we don't have that much time.”
Twilight smiled at her in a slightly crazy way “Oh. That is not going to be a problem.”
Then she activated her magic, she conjured a heavy crate, the kind used for transporting supplies in the military.
Then she charged a lot more magic and cast a spell that made Sunset's coat stand on end and enveloped the room in a sphere of light.
“Is... Is this a time spell?” Sunset asked, knowing that it was but refusing to believe in this situation.
“Yes. With this, even if one entire week passes inside here, it will only be a few minutes outside. Now you don't have any reason to leave before telling the story.” Twilight said with an impish grin.
“This is kind of an abuse of awesome magic powers...” Sunset spoke with a complicated expression “And why does it feel like you were already planning on something like this.”
Twilight's face fell “Okay. There are a few reasons for that. While it usually doesn't look like it, I actually am very interested in romance-type stuff. Cadance was my foal-sitter, and she got me started on that.”
“I'm listening.” Sunset said with a deadpan expression.
“The only reason why I didn't bombard you with questions about your relationship last time was because I was just too surprised. Not only it is romance, but it is also an interplay between romance and friendship, which is something I am very interested in.” Twilight closed her eyes “And then there's the second issue. Cadance herself. I mentioned about your unusual relationship and since then she started bugging me about giving her details... I was going to make you give enough details that I could placate her for a while, this new development simply made me even more interested in what you have to say.”
Sunset blinked “Okay. I guess I can understand that. So, where do I start... Perhaps it would be best to begin when the human Sunset came to the school...”
Twilight listened to the story with eagerness.
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Well, this should be interesting!
I feel a little bit bad because I started reading it to see how bad it was and I actually think it's pretty well written and starts the story in a pretty good way. So I'll give it a follow and see where it goes.
It's polite to ask first about this sort of thing, you know.
Of course I would have said yes pretty much no matter what. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.
I'm just going to leave this here. Okay? Okay!
This is not especially well-written. Also, it seems as though perhaps this is meant to be a sequel to something else, given it references something that the characters take as an established event which already happened, yet no effort is made to show the reader said event? If this is a sequel, please tag it as a sequel.
As to the problems with your writing...
- Too much missing punctuation.
- You're doing a lot of telling and virtually no showing. The golden rule of writing is "Show, don't tell."
- The dialogue between the characters has no soul. It feels lifeless. I'm reading it, and I don't really see any of the characters speaking. I just see empty words without a voice or a soul. You could plug any name into the attribution and it would change nothing. If you can't write characters in-voice and in-character, you've already failed as a storyteller.
This just isn't interesting enough, or well-written enough, to bother with.
8222780
Sounds like the sequel to For the Love of Sunset, which in and of itself is the sequel to a series of one shots shipping Sunset with one of each of the Main 6's human counterparts.
8222780
8222836
Indeed, this is an alternate continuation of the story with only the original Sunset being in the middle of all of those relationships. Hope to see more about it.
8222717
Oh, shit. Sorry man. I was planning to do it. But I was so tired yesterday when I finished the first chapter that I completely forgot about it.
8222768
Oops... Now it's fixed.
8222710
Hahaha. I know how it is man, stories like this that are actually good are rarer than alicorns. I just hope I can make this work well.
So this is due to the others having their memories scrambled?
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