Never

by shortskirtsandexplosions

VIII

...they all seemed somehow closer than every apprentice she had ever once held, and just as numerous. Princess Celestia stood on the bow of the Dawnmist, staring out at the gray expanse into which her Father once dove, never to return, so that she wondered if she too had become the master of a domain as insignificant as a blink in a cosmic equine's eye.

So transfixed was she on the roof of the world that she barely noticed the hoofsteps of the Admiral until the aged pegasus came to a stop and cleared her throat.

Celestia slowly turned and gazed down at her. “Yes, Admiral?”

“I am terribly sorry to bother you, your Highness,” the Admiral bowed while speaking. “I only felt it was my duty to report that we are making decent headway. The royal navigator says that we shall reach Canterlot by noon tomorrow, provided that you raise the Sun as regularly scheduled.”

The corner of Celestia's pale mouth curved slightly. “And what makes you think that I would ever be tardy?”

The Admiral's wrinkled cheeks blushed a bit. “Do forgive my careless speech, your Majesty. That was unbecoming of me—”

“I am pleased to elicit many emotions from my subjects, the least of which is guilt.” Celestia turned and strolled past the Admiral, heading towards the royal cabins below. “I encourage you to speak your peace around me as you would with any peer. Carry on.”

The Admiral stood anxiously in place.

Somehow, Celestia sensed the unease. She stopped and turned around. “Yes?”

The Admiral glanced nervously at her.

“Is there something on your mind, Admiral?”

The armored pegasus turned towards the Princess, all the while keeping her head low. “If I am allowed to speak my peace, then perhaps I should express what I believe to be a valid concern.”

“Absolutely,” Celestia said, gazing at her patiently.

The Admiral's violet tail-hairs fluttered in the high winds around the Dawnmist. “It's the crew, Your Majesty. I have tried to keep them silently focused on their duties. I have used every extent of my authority to discipline them. However, I have failed constantly as of late to suppress an unfounded rumor spreading through the ranks.”

“What rumor is this, Admiral?”

“Well, your Majesty,” the pegasus struggled to say, “They're afraid. They do not know if they will make it safely home.”

“Fear is hardly a surprise in this day and age,” Celestia said with a nod. “After all, Equestrians have contended with the likes of conniving changelings and brutish griffons the majority of their generation.”

“The guards and soldiers do not fear our enemies, your Majesty.” The Admiral stirred awkwardly, then gave the Princess a courageous glance. “They fear for you.”

Celestia's eyes narrowed.

The pegasus continued, “They spread rumors of your ill-countenance. Many of the crew feel as if you have become afflicted with a horrible alicorn ailment. Some are even foolish enough to think that this sparks the end of the world, for if the Princess of the Sun is under the weather, what does it spell for Equestria's future?”

“Even if I was to meet such a paradoxical end, my dear Admiral,” Celestia remarked with a placid smile, “I trust my sister would be strong enough to handle the celestial bodies in my place.”

The Admiral nodded slowly. “You need not convince me of your well-being, your Majesty. I fear, however, that I am lacking in the necessary conviction to reach my crew as intimately as you could.”

“I assure you, I am not depleted of my usual energy, wit, or wisdom. If anything, I am merely...” Celestia fumbled for words. She bit her lip and gazed at the desert horizon beneath the field of stars. Rising and falling mountains sliced into the constellations like the bitter, black hooves of time. “Admiral...”

“Yes, your Highness?”

Celestia gazed steadily at her. “Do you have any children?”

The Admiral took a deep breath. She shifted in her armor and said, “I have foaled three times in my life.” Her face tilted up and gave a weathered smiled. “And of my children, two of them have also foaled.”

Celestia's lips pursed. “You are a grandmother? That had not occurred to me, Admiral.”

The pegasus gave a dry chuckle. “I have much strength, but I also have many years. One, I am more apt to brag about than the other, your Majesty.”

Celestia's eyes fell to the airship's deck. She saw a frailty to the shape of the Admiral's hooves. It pained her to think that just yesterday those very same limbs were young and muscular. It pained her even more to realize she hadn't bothered to keep track of the Admiral's natural change. Life was too fragile to attempt measuring in any breaths but Celestia's own. “You must not see them that often.”

“Your Majesty...?”

Celestia's eyes raised to look at the Admiral's face once again. “Your children and grandchildren,” she said. “With all of the aerial missions I've made you perform these last few decades, it must be difficult to commune with your descendants.”

“What I do for your glorious kingdom, I do with utmost gratitude and honor, your Highness,” the Admiral said firmly. “I am blessed to serve under your command, for it means the protection of Equestria and all of your subjects, especially those who fall in my bloodline.”

“And your loved ones...?” Celestia heard herself murmuring towards the air. “Are they content to live on their own, fully knowing that their grandmother, the strong and beloved matriarch upon which their family rests, is so often absent?”

The Admiral stared at the Princess. In the glint of the pale moon, her regal armor was immaculate and impenetrable. Suddenly, though, all of it wasn't enough to shield the slightest shiver overcoming the pegasus' body. Her violet eyes became moist, but she said in a firm voice, “Their contentment... is n-not as important as their safety.”

Celestia gazed painfully at her. “Do you believe that?” she murmured.

“I shall always believe in what is necessary, your Highness,” she said. “What I give up is not nearly important as what I preserve.”

Celestia nodded quietly. “It is a very convenient truth, is it not?”

The Admiral said nothing. She darted her eyes towards the ship's deck. Her helmet looked like it weighed three times as much.

Celestia felt as if she had tortured the honorable guard enough. “You may continue with your duties, Admiral.”

“By your c-command.” The pegasus bowed, and marched off towards the front of the ship.

Celestia closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. The wind blew at her mane with a brief gale, as if carrying all the chaff of twelve-thousand years. It carried the sound of a giggling colt's voice.

Celestia's eyes fluttered open. She gazed down at the lit crease beneath the door to the royal cabins. Slowly, she turned and strolled down...

Comments

[Macon Mixx]

I'm not sure if what she just did to the admiral was terribly kind or terribly mean....

[berrytone]

As old as she is, talking to the general Celestia seems so innocent. She wants to understand something she can't rightly experience.