• Member Since 13th Jun, 2012
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AugieDog


I've been writing and selling stories for longer than a lot of folks reading this have been alive. Check Baal Bunny for more!


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While selling her namesake fruit in Appleloosa, Strawberry Sunrise meets a handsome, easygoing stallion who makes her cynical heart go pitter-pat. But she can’t be falling for him! He’s...an Apple!

Written for Jake the Army Guy's Obscure Shipping Contest, this story won 1st place.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 31 )

So the plan is:

Four chapters, "Seeds," "Stems," "Thorns," and "Flowers," with the whole thing finished by June 30th as my entry in Jake the Army Guy's contest. But, well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans of pangolins and ponies...

Mike

You have my attention, sir. Please. Write on...

Intriguing start. I like how Strawberry is a misanthropic bitch. Makes her relatable, in a way that reflects my need for regular therapy.

8232721
8232730

Thanks!

I'm having way too much fun writing Sunrise! :pinkiehappy:

Mike

Well now. This seems like a match made in some afterlife, but I dare not yet say which. Definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this. I especially love Sunrise's background. No wonder she's so defensive of the family fruit.

And so Strawberry must face a truly horrifying reality: she found a likeable Apple.

Great work with the chemistry here. These two are wonderfully complementary, if not always complimentary. Definitely looking forward to more.

8242831
My thoughts exactly! Hope there's going to be more of this.

8242938
8242831

Thanks, folks!

I've got two more chapters planned and a deadline of June 30th for the contest. So here's hoping! :twilightsmile:

Mike

8243953

Excellent! Proceed, then. I look forward to those chapters!

OK!

Two days and three thousand words to finish it. Let's see if I can!

Mike

8262394
You got this! And for what it's worth, you'd have my vote. This story is extremely well written!

A fic where Braeburn isn't gay?

What is this madness...

8262469

Thanks!

8262489

AJ bucks apples:

I buck trends. :pinkiehappy:

Mike

Man this chapter moved fast. Good to see a fast-burn romance.

8264524

Thanks!

I've gotta be even quicker about the ending, though--each character gets 1,500 words, and that's it! :pinkiehappy:

Mike

Which ends it:

Until they develop some mutant strawberry/apple hybrid that attempts to take over Equestria... :eeyup:

Mike

I was wondering how you'd tie it up so neatly in only a few thousand words. You clever bastard, you sent in Applejack, who cleaves the Gordian Knot of complex emotional misunderstandings.

8267430
Darn it! First Han Solo's son, now Strawberry's and Braeburns!

8271962
:eeyup:

That was one of the first moments I pictured when I came up with this idea: Applejack throwing her hat on the ground, allowing herself one "Consarn it!" and then setting out to do what she could to make this whole thing work.

8272171

I'm seeing:

A red and black alicorn... :pinkiehappy:

Mike

I enjoyed this very, VERY much. :pinkiehappy:

This was truly delightful, a wonderful combination of character exploration and romance. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the contest.

8267430
Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Red Menace." :applejackconfused:

This was a very nice, very solid story!

That there was some mighty fine shippin'!:ajsmug:

Super adorable story. I love a good crack ship but this is a great crack ship.

Great job :ajsmug:

8295552
8298178
8303851

Thanks, folks!

Now I just hafta rewrite it with various nature spirits--brownies, sprites, and pixies, for instance--instead of ponies, and I've got an original fic I can try shopping around! :pinkiehappy:

Mike

That was fun.

8338444

Thanks!

I tried to do some things with giving Sunrise a lot of the traditionally male parts of the romance--she's the traveler and the talker and the grouch with a carefully hidden heart of gold--and Braeburn a lot of the traditionally female parts--he's the headstrong local beauty, slightly flighty but overflowing with kindness--and I like how that turned out... :twilightsmile:

Mike

we'll have the better part of a day to wrastle Cousin Red into letting you court Braeburn.

I can almost get behind Braeburn being bossed around by his sister and not getting to go on night patrols, that being a source of plot-relevant angst, but having somepony else making the decision of who he is and isn't allowed to date and nopony seeing anything wrong with that, is just downright painful. If it's meant to be "charmingly old-fashioned", then it's about as charming as mentioning separate drinking fountains and certain ponies not being allowed on golf courses. Reversing the historical gender roles doesn't really make it work; it's just uncomfortable and distracting.

It's a great story otherwise, though. As far as crack ships go, this is an intriguing one, based on A.J. being the one degree of separation. The buildup was well-paced. The ending was a little too quick, and I think some storytelling opportunity was lost. I liked the way Braeburn's side of the narration was done in his speaking style. Strawberry's character is well-done; it's rare to see the inside of the mind of a jerk. (And it's decently accurate -- I speak from first-hand knowledge.) And in a technical sense, the writing is top-notch. I think Applejack is presented as a little too hot-headed and assholish, and combined with the thing with Red I mentioned before, it makes the Apples as a whole look worse than I like to think they are.

I had fun reading this - it is really good :twilightsmile:

8341640

It's not meant to be:

Charmingly old-fashioned. It's just meant to be just plain old-fashioned. If I hadn't run up against the contest deadline, I would've had Strawberry raise more of a stink about it, but I didn't get a chance to give the whole thing a last pass, alas...

8343379

Thanks!

I had fun writing it!

Mike

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