Twilight was of two minds about how to handle the situation of being of two minds about how to handle the situation of being of two minds about how to handle the situation of being two minds.
Written for the The Writeoff Association’s ‘Rising From the Ashes’ prompt.
Great, I love it! Although at first it's hard to differentiate between Twilight and Twilight, but I do like Twilight more than Twilight. Maybe it's just because Twilights a bit rude, whilst on the other hand Twilight is actually quite nice.
I found one part I didn't quite get (other than the reasoning behind this fanfic as a whole):
Other than that, perfection.
I don’t care what the rest of the world says, I love this damned thing start to finish.
Hey! Once you survive the first part, it's actually good! Please continue it.
That was crazy and hard to follow. To preserve my sanity, don’t you ever do that again!
Upvoted.
The stabby-stab should cease its spit. Yes yes.
Ah, there’s nothing like starting your morning with a good existential crisis.
Fascinating. I like how the thoughts are expressed in a barely coherent, almost sub-linguistic way to convey the sense of direct thought-to-thought comminication. (As a concept, anyway. Reading this did get a little tiresome after a bit.) Plus, it would surprise me if Twilight thinks like this even when she isn't of two minds.
Just one question: Can she even digest those sprinkles, much less taste them?
I still don’t know if this passes moderation.
And I don’t give a damn.
My brain hurts, but I loved it.
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I figure the gem sprinkles are kinda like real life gold leaf: fun, but functionally useless. Except in Spike’s case, who would obviously drown in the stuff if he could.
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Why wouldn’t it pass moderation? Looks fine to me...
Oh, hey! I immediately remembered this one from the Writeoff. This version seems smoother — which is weird, because directly comparing the texts I’m not sure it was significantly edited. I think it’s just a lot more approachable on a re-read.
Still has some rough edges, but my fondness for it is undulled. Thanks for bringing this over to FIMFic!
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I think that's the Stockhom Syndrome talking. 😃
This was actually incredible. I can’t really explain it in a coherent way due to the limitations of time and motivation to properly explain why I think as such, but know that it is a good story and worth the read, especially if you enjoy a good delve into existentialism or thought abstraction.
Love the new read feature. It was fun listening to Twilight talking to Twilight.
For all that it legitimately gave me a headache, it’s a good story.
Kinda reminds me about computer code... like two computers or AI or VI trying to coordinate together with both occupying the same robot or computer... oddly enough
...I haven’t even started reading it and my head already hurts.
I just finished a final test, thought reading this would be funny, Sulpher original-Sulpher-that-is-not-the-other-Sulpher says cry, while Sulpher original-Sulpher-that-is-not-the-other-Sulpher says laugh ... more insight is needed.
I have no idea what the crap I’ve just read, and I love it.
Man, that was like watching Dr. Seuss have a brain aneurysm. Definitely a unique idea, though I felt the middle dragged on a little. Still, nicely done!
Well that was a trip...
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I... actually followed this, and I have to say...
There is not enough coffee in my house to deal with dis shit
yea... that sounds like moriarty xD... i loved this story. lol even followed along the entire time. poor twilight. hope the princesses can help
What I love most about this thing, is that I once played a game of FTL like this with a cousin. Whenever there was a decision to be made, we talked until we made a mutual decision, then acted. When one of us wanted to make a decision mid-game, we paused, discussed, reached mutual conclusion, and acted. It was actually really, really fun!
Not too hard to follow. What would be hard to follow would be having them significantly diverge, with those differences being really important, while keeping the same name.
Nice!
So, is this a open-off or will there be more?
Certainly lives up to the ‘Random’ tag in a way most stories tagged under ‘Random’ don’t. Good job.
I tried to read but went cross-eyed 1/3rd of the way through.
Lefty: Protip, differentiate which one is left brain and which one is right brain. That solves most agreement conflicts.
Righty:
Lefty: Don't look at me like that, if you were going to dispute it you should have spoken up.
Righty:
I really enjoyed this, it was hard to get a handle while they were sorting their designations, but as a whole the shortspeak/processing was really quite cool. Fantastic idea, and I hope you feel a need to write more of this.
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What
Interesting.
Initiating query.
Memory, your thoughts? None, of course. Currently reviewing reading.
Mind, your thoughts? What the hell, you just skimmed through this bloody story. How in blazes did you manage to not only comprehend the basic plot, but actually get it? I can do that, Mind. I can read at a rate of 450 words per minute. I look, I put into Memory for a brief review, I comprehend, I move on, repeat. Apply past passages to scanning of new passages, construct plot, understand story.
Dude, shut up. You’re just saying that because you’re an arrogant douche. That is partially correct, Mind. Glad you caught up on my personality. However, it’s really because I’m a madman having a conversation with himself and typing it in the comment section of a story about a character developing two separate minds.
Wait, why did you stop typing a comment on another story about how you have high expectations for their story and how, if they don’t deliver chapters as good as the first, you will type a comment so harsh it flays their skin from their bones? Good question Memory. Once you deliver the verdict on this story, I’ll go back to typing that comment.
...
Verdict ready?
... no.
Then I’ll take over! This was a nice story.
You can’t do this. You’re an impulsive twat who has crushed people’s desires to make anything because of their choice in music.
Hey! The royalty free ukulele does not fit with making coffee. Besides, you know my prejudice against royalty free ukulele music.
Doesn’t change what you did.
Whatever. This was a good story, and rather interesting. Took too long for me to type this comment, mostly because the story was about multiple minds and, well, I have two other voices in my head.
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Because Bloons
I have to say, this is a very creative little story, and I was interested the whole way through. However, I would have liked it more if it had more of a concrete ending. It’s not because it feels like the first chapter in a larges story, a lot of one-shots are like that. I mean more like the story doesn’t conclude the thought it’s on. As it is, it reads as though the last few sentences were cut off and the final thoughts of the Twilights are missing. I did still like the story a lot, though, so keep up the good work.
Spike: “Hi, Twilight!”
Twilight: *disassociates*
Wow. Poor Twilight. Both of her.
Uhhhhhhhh......okay that's enough logical reasoning for one day....great story and all...but holy crap is it confusing... my brain wants to go and puke it's guts out just trying to comprehend it...
Anyone else reminded of Alien X by this?
Roger Roger, what’s your vector, Victor?
A few paragraphs in, I reached a conclusion: Fanfics should be entertaining, and this isn’t.
Bloons bloons bloons.
Goddamnit, bloons.
Well I read it through to the end and I have to say I’m not the biggest fan. It seems like it was written around the premise of being as mind numbingly difficult to read as humanly possible with all this twilight-not-sparkle this and whatnot just jumbling up the paragraphs. I get that some people might find it easy to read, they might even like it, but for me it was painful and tedious to sit through.
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Yes, the thought did occur to me, it’s a good thing that celestialsapians and 2/3 of alien X have infinite patience.
Is this what having a stroke feels like?
Reading this whole thing out loud was satisfying. It was like a giant tongue twister gently stretching and massaging parts of my mind and my body in new ways.
I agree with me. We want more.
This made perfect sense the entire way through! I could follow the thought lines perfectly! I loved it i loved it i loved it!
I hope there's a sequel.
I got the hang of it after the first block paragraph, after that, it was really quite pleasant to read.
Absolutely wonderful wording going on here.
uhh...
You kind of have to read this story twice... Once to figure out the style, and once to understand the story. I... kind of want a sequel.