"I'm watching you two during dinner," she said, pointing her eyes, then to us.

This is an awkward quote, mostly because the word "watching" is the present tense of the word "watch." Dinner is an event that will occur at some point after this quote. As such, her statement should be changed to "I'm going to be watching you two during dinner" or "I'm going to watch you two during dinner" as that would change it to reference a future action.

"Twilight? She's... in the dungeon. After their magic got stripped away, they were forced to be down their for all eternity. Secretly, I have been feeding them. Which reminds me, I'll have to sneak out and feed them. I can't have Tirek seeing me or my and I will be joining them too."

I believe it should be "seeing me or I..." and that "my and" do not belong, at least for it to make sense grammatically and structurally.

"You're a great alicorn, Celestia. I bet Equestria looked much beautiful when you and your sister ruled."

I think you forgot to include "more" in between much and beautiful.

Decent chapter. Not bad, just a little bit of building on certain things.

I like it cant wait for more

She's defiantly got

it think you want "definitely"

down their for

there

I don't really know why I keep thinking about my own moral view so much in this story, I guess maybe the feeling from the first chapter still has to vanish. I mean this is nice, but I can't stop thinking how wrong it is.

"Absolutely. I want you two to fall in love! Love is a very wonderful thing and I want to see my little centaur happy."

at first I wanted to say that I didn't like her puttin that pressure on her daughter, but then I thought it doesn't have to be meant that way.

She probably just wants Trika to make every possible good experience that is letting her grow into a good ruler and not just forcing two people together, which is something I often feel with Cadance. (It is maybe often the way the authors write their story, but maybe it is Cadance herself.)

This chapter already looks better, I hope they slowly change stuff for the better, I somewhat like slightly darker stuff, but I honestly hope the others beside Twilight doesn't have to die. (I mean if you made Twilight living longer and stuff like that.)
I mean them only beeing feed long enough to die of old age. It is probably worse to have them only seeing the dungeons the rest of their life.

Nice chapter! I'm glad that Trika is nicer than Tirek!

If there's one thing I understand in this chapter, it's that Celestia likes to repeat herself.

Seriously, though. She says, "I like to tease you," a lot in this chapter.

"Dinner was superb, Celestia," I replied. "What do you have for desert?"

"Mother," interrupted Trika. "Let's give him the best desert."

Dessert. Other mistakes I noticed have been noted by other commenters.

The writing is simple yet its story is so unique at the same time. I like where this is going so keep up the good work.

Eeyup, still a nice read! Now to patiently wait for more. Your doing great!

I find this story delightfully unique. I like the pacing and the characters feel real. I can’t wait for more.

8258522
Thank you

8263065
That's exactly what Tirek is going through

Update status?

8349125
Will continue soon

8350174
Okay, cool! just checking!

8256766
The words are thot level but the story is thought level.

8350174
How soon is "soon"?

*hint, this is an unfinished story, hint*

Very good story this has not been done. Will enjoy seeing more

I want more of this in my life...

more pls i really like this

Really good story so far please continue

Another story dies

LOVe it . And has been done befor

When are you going to finish this story?

Might have died who knows

8350174
Are you still continuing the story

8350174
Are you still continuing the story

8950324
Please stop bothering me about it. I really don't feel like it
media.giphy.com/media/gHw3C5n5IfRWU/giphy.gif
Ugh... This is why I really prefer a one chapter story

8950496
I'm sorry I just wanted to see how it ended

Wow, I'm just trying to get back on Fimfiction to finish off my stories. But overall, I'm liking the way you write this.
Take as much time as you need to write it.

I will wait for a long time for the stories to continue. And if you prefer one-shot stories (which means one chapter) then you should've done that more sooner. But still continue on.

Will you be continuing the story

I'm very eager to see this story continued, it got me hooked on just the description!

8950496
Love this story so far.

Pls update or else no moustache spike

A story so fantastic and it's on hiatus, if not dead, for 2 years

*Poke....Poke...* "Well it doesn't smell rotten..."

Downvote for not finishing what you started.

Nooooo milkers!!!???

8950496
It’s been a couple years now are you ever going to complete the story