The Evening After
The yellow beacon of the sun was slowly turning to orange as it neared the horizon, and the rays cast shadows across the dining hall that gently grew longer yet less intense as the light dimmed. Dusk and dawn were both interesting times, where the sun moved no more swiftly than normal, yet one could more easily see its progress in the shifting light and shadows. It made dinner a fascinating experience, as the vibrant colors of the food, and the exquisitely detailed tableware and decorations all changed in appearance in subtle ways with the shifting light of the sun.
It was, perhaps, an odd thing for two ponies to notice, when both of them counted their age in four digits, and had royal, daily duties involving sunrise and its evening counterpart. But recently, both ponies had had a bit of a humbling experience, and both had been reminded to appreciate special details like that.
Of course, since they had also been reminded to appreciate each other, there was only so much time they could spend appreciating aesthetics. Once their respective dinner and breakfast had been finished, the royal sisters Celestia and Luna moved to a small parlor. Here they each sat in a comfy recliner with a small tea table between them, serving its purpose by holding a teacup and kettle, as well as a single coffee mug. Here they could converse, while relaxing and enjoying the evening light through a nearby window.
The coffee mug was wrapped in blue magic and drawn towards its owner as she smiled. "Ah, it is quite wonderful to return to my former sleep schedule," Luna said, "I can only assume your magic carried me through the day, as I was already fatigued by the time of our 'switch.' Still, I doubt the day would have been any easier if I were well-rested..."
Celestia nodded, taking a sip from her teacup. "I think you did remarkably well for your first day in the limelight in over a millennium... or 'sunlight,' as it were." She smiled wryly as Luna chuckled. "Still, you did leave me a couple issues, though I think I was able to clean those up."
Luna sighed, her eyes downcast. "I do apologize, sister. Small mistakes have large consequences in your day-to-day life, it seems.” She glanced over at her sister. “I hope the damage was reversible?”
“The schoolfillies got their field trip, along with your apologies, although I chose to leave out most of your explanation.” When Luna raised an eyebrow, her sister continued: “While your explanation for your scowling in the photograph would be believed, it would put a lot of pressure on the paper that printed the article, and a certain photographer might find himself out of a job due to taking such a misleading photo, itself becoming a problem. Besides, the revelation that you were holding such a smile together the whole day would cast doubt on your activities before then.” Celestia sighed. “Sometimes, it’s best to intervene as little as possible. Actions have consequences, and the more actions you take, the more consequences arise.”
Luna stared at Celestia for a long moment. “Politics is even more of a… treacherous environment than I had imagined. It seems I was quite fortunate…”
“Indeed.” Celestia took a long sip of tea before she continued. “Of course, the Timber Wolf issue was a different matter, one that required direct action. Thankfully that one was solved more simply, just a matter of dispatching some guards and experts in magical beasts, while promising the frightened townsfolk that I would bring excessive amounts of holy fire to bear to protect them... or something like that." She chuckled. "Even though I doubt things will get to that point."
Luna let out a soft giggle as well. "That's a relief." Her eyes twinkled with a bit of mischief. "Thankfully, your own errors while playing my part will be easy to fix as well."
"Errors, dear sister?" Celestia raised an eyebrow.
"You only intervened in Starlight's nightmare and my own, if memory serves. There's no telling how many other foul dreams were left unvanquished." Luna sighed. "Fortunately, nopony will blame you for it. I do not advertise my abilities, and ponies still seem surprised when I intervene in their dreams, despite the obvious association I have with them.” Luna saw that Celestia had a faintly worried expression, and added with a faint smile, “Don’t concern yourself with it, sister. Some nights are so busy that I cannot possibly dispel every nightmare, and others are remarkably quiet, as last night seems to have been.”
“Quiet for everypony else, that is.” Celestia chuckled, but it wasn’t quite filled with the usual mirth she had when she laughed. “Last night was quite emotional… and I can only imagine how Starlight felt, in the center of a battle between our own darker selves, believing herself to blame.”
“On that note, sister, I am curious about one thing,” Luna said, her gentle smile dropping into an equally gentle frown. “That... version of you from Starlight's nightmare...”
Celestia managed to suppress a shudder. But while her poise was unharmed, her voice took on a dark, yet subdued tone to it. “What about her?”
“I must admit that I am... curious. Namely, I am curious about what would cause you to become such a being.” Luna took a sip of coffee, and her lips formed a frown as the mug left them. “Before this whole ordeal I would have assumed the catalyst for ‘Daybreaker’ or something like her, would be similar to my own... excuses-” Luna practically spat the word, her eyes not quite focused on her sister as she did so, “-for becoming Nightmare Moon. But now I think the answer is quite different.”
Celestia nodded. “Well, after your experience in my horseshoes, what do you think the answer is?”
Celestia took a long sip of tea as she awaited her sister's answer, but Luna's response was swift, and not what Celestia had expected: “I have a strong suspicion, but I want to hear it from you, sister.” As Celestia set her cup down, Luna continued, “Besides, as I have recently learned, my ability to understand your troubles is... not particularly keen.”
Celestia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “While you were going about a typical day in my life... what did you think of the ponies you had to interact with, and what was expected of you?”
Luna let out a snort of disapproval. “I am having difficulty summarizing all of my feelings towards them in a polite yet accurate way. I did not dislike them, per se, and yet... I resented every iota of my interactions with them. It was always about them, and I could only put on a façade , suppress my true feelings and act as they wished me to act, entirely for their benefit. Even when I legitimately was interested in their troubles, it felt very… one-sided.”
Celestia nodded. “Part and parcel of being a ruler, I'm afraid. I tell myself that I am a servant of Equestria, not the other way around, and that this is best for everypony. But... that's small comfort when I have to smile and laugh at a stupid joke.”
Luna grimaced slightly. “And Daybreaker is therefore the hypothetical 'you' that... simply could not handle it anymore?”
“Yes,” Celestia said simply, before taking another long sip of her tea.
Both sisters were silent for a few moments, before Luna spoke up: “Celestia... if I may venture an assumption, Daybreaker did not seem... entirely a surprise to you.”
“She surprised me enough. Seeing a side of yourself that embodies everything you wish you weren't, yet is still recognizably you... is not an easy experience.” Celestia closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.
“I see...” Luna said, uncertain, jaw tensed as though about to speak, yet saying nothing.
Celestia opened her eyes and looked at her hesitant sister. “I know what you're asking, Luna. You're asking if I'd ever... thought about her before.” Luna nodded slowly, and Celestia continued. “Well, after you... after Nightmare Moon came to be, I couldn't help but wonder... wonder what would have happened if I...” Celestia's face twisted into an expression of pained sorrow, looking apologetically at her sister.
Luna read her sister's expression, and said softly, “Speak plainly, sister. You clearly are in need of direct expression, and it seems you have precious few ponies to share your true thoughts with. As for Nightmare Moon... I have accepted my guilt, and yet I have also accepted that... that is no longer who I am. Nothing you say will shame or torment me.” Luna's voice dropped sharply as she glanced aside. “...More than I have shamed and tormented myself, anyway...”
Celestia looked at her sister's expression for a moment – it was sorrowful, but not overwhelmingly so, and that was a good sign to Celestia. She nodded and continued, “...Well, after you became Nightmare Moon and I banished you to the moon, I couldn't help but wonder what might have happened if I had 'fallen' instead... or whether I might yet fall as well. While I was not sure whether I might become 'Daybreaker' or whatever form I imagined myself as, it soon became obvious why it might happen.”
Luna took a long sip of coffee, but her eyes were on Celestia the entire time. The solar sister, for her part, took a much shorter sip of tea. She gently moved the cup around in a circle, stirring the remaining tea as she continued. “After you were banished, my workload grew even more intense. I didn't even have time to grieve before the responsibilities of sole rulership pressed in on me. I was unprepared to rule Equestria alone, and I was left without you to confide in. I... hated it.”
Celestia's expression turned bitter - intensely so. While Luna had recently become reacquainted with Celestia's more honest expressions, she had not actually seen Celestia so displeased in a long time. Celestia’s teacup slowed to a stop as she stared into it, while she continued speaking in an icy voice. “All those nobles and bureaucrats, offering brief condolences before seeking aid for their petty troubles in the same breath. All those laws and edicts and orders that required a signature unshaken by emotion. So many ponies who expected, who needed me to be what I had always been – a strong, calm leader, without personal flaws or feelings. And it didn't end. Each satisfied demand led to another. I had the burden of all ponykind on my back, and little to look forward to. What I wanted... was to be myself. And everypony else was holding me back.”
It was a marvel to Luna how Celestia could keep her cup steady, even as her voice grew hard and her eyes held a dark flame, that it seemed her teacup would shatter and the tea boil into nothing. “So I wondered, 'what if I just... threw it all away? The fake smiles, the responsibilities, the burdens, all of it?' I wondered what it would be like to be free, just doing what I wanted without anypony or anything tying me down. Buried as I was in royal duties, it seemed... appealing. So I took my fantasies a step farther, and imagined myself just not caring about any of it... with nopony and nothing to worry about except myself."
She glanced back up at Luna, but only for a moment, as though she couldn’t bear to let her sister see the look in her eyes. “And then... my dreams took it the last few steps. In those dreams, I did what I wanted, completely without care for anything else... but I was so self-absorbed that I sought only my own pleasure at the cost of everypony else's. I broke traditions, I broke responsibilities, and I broke anything I wanted. Including ponies, because by then I no longer cared, even about things like right and wrong.”
She looked at Luna again, the fire in her eyes dimming and her voice growing softer, yet forlorn. “The first time I had that dream, I thought it was the most wonderful dream I'd ever had... and then I woke up, and recognized it as the nightmare it was. It scared me as almost nothing else has - seeing myself as one of the very monsters I had sworn to protect Equestria against.”
Celestia sighed. “Luna... you might be wondering how exactly I kept myself from becoming Daybreaker. It was not easy at all... but in a way, I think you helped.”
Luna frowned, this time in confusion as she tilted her head. “I’m not sure how I was able to help you while banished.”
“Actually, it was because of your banishment. When you became Nightmare Moon... I saw what happened if an alicorn – if either of us – succumbed to our emotions like that, if we let our pain overwhelm us. I knew that if I 'fell' then I would bring ruin to Equestria... perhaps even destroy it altogether. I knew that achieving that desire to be free would mean sacrificing everything else I valued, everything else I was. And unhappy though I was with my duties, my little ponies meant the world to me. They still do.”
Luna sighed. “I only wish I had learned that lesson as well...” Despite Luna's words earlier, there was still regret when she spoke of her past – though not nearly as much as there once had been in her voice and her heart when the topic of Nightmare Moon came up.
Celestia's gaze turned stern. “Sister, if you had not become Nightmare Moon, then I would have become Daybreaker instead. You made your mistake, but I was kept from my own by the experience of watching you make it, and taking it to heart. I know you weren't aware of the true scope of the change into Nightmare Moon until it happened, and I know that if I had fallen instead, you would have had the strength to continue, to be the sovereign Equestria needed.” Celestia smiled – it was a tiny smile, but the change from her previous dark expressions was noticeable. “And I know you are now as well.”
Luna smiled as well, just a little more broadly. “All the same, dear sister, if that had come to pass I would have spent a thousand years wishing it had happened to me instead. I can bear the collective nightmares of ponykind, but dealing with the waking hours of our subjects, day after day, would be unbearable for me. I do think you manage Equestria far better than I could.”
Celestia chuckled faintly. “It takes a different sort of strength, I would say. I've had my own demons to contend with, but I have no choice but to wrestle them into submission, for the good of Equestria, without thanks. Yet you take to the dreamscape every night, volunteering yourself to battle fear itself... also without thanks. Nopony asks you, but you do it anyway.”
Luna smiled more widely, closing her eyes in satisfaction. “I do what I can to help our little ponies, sister. It is what I do best, and I wouldn't think of doing anything but my absolute best for Equestria.”
Celestia's smile grew further as well, the warmth returning to her face and voice. “I do appreciate it, Luna. As I said when you returned to your true self, we were meant to rule together, each of us playing our part, complementing each other's talents and working together in harmony.” Celestia suddenly broke into a laugh. “I do apologize, sister, I've rambled on for quite a bit about this whole 'Daybreaker' business, and I'm starting to get philosophical. I hope I've answered your question, and I hope I haven't made your evening gloomy.”
“Do not let it trouble you, sister. My curiosity has been satisfied, and I think I understand your pain a little better now. I'm glad for this discussion... But you do ramble from time to time.” Luna giggled for a moment. “Also, it is wonderful to see a genuine smile from you.”
Celestia gave a wry smile. “It's good to see a smile from you at all. You really do have quite a burden on you. I'm glad to know you can still find happiness.”
“And I am glad your face isn't frozen in a perpetual fake smile by now. You are very good at that, but it pleases me that you can still show actual emotion.”
“Indeed... as much as it feels like I'm wearing a thick porcelain mask, it's good to know I still have a face underneath.”
Luna glanced out the nearby window. “Well, it is nearly time for me to raise the moon and begin my royal duties. As I said, I'm glad to have this conversation with you, sister. Do get some rest, and enjoy your freedom from dealing with the darkest fears of Equestria.”
“Very well - and you enjoy not having to deal with all the expectations of Equestria, including smiling.” Celestia took a final, deep sip to drain her teacup as Luna began walking towards an exit from the lounge. “But before you go, I have a question for you as well – how did you know Daybreaker's name, when you entered into Starlight's dream and saw her?”
Luna turned and looked at Celestia, frowning slightly. “To be honest... those nightmares you speak of, involving your potential 'fallen' side... they still haunt you, from time to time.”
Celestia's eyebrow raised. “Indeed, but I didn't think you... I never saw you in any of those dreams of her.”
“That's because...” Luna frowned, apologetically. “...You didn't seem to need me. Indeed, I was envious of how easily you appeared to deal with your 'dark side.' And... until yesterday, I couldn't quite fathom what could drive you to such a state. How could you be lonely, as I was, when surrounded by adoring ponies? And the thought of you having the opposite problem as I - too much attention - was at the time unthinkable.” Luna sighed. “I kept what I saw to myself, what little of it I could stand to watch, and I assumed that if it had bothered you, you would have mentioned it to me.”
Celestia closed her eyes. “Perhaps I wasn’t ready at the time. But I appreciate you asking me now.”
“It did seem a fair time to inquire. Particularly since… Daybreaker was not like Nightmare Moon. She was more…” Luna’s face scrunched up as she tried to think of a proper way to phrase her words…
...Only for Celestia to smirk and offer her own opinion: “Gleefully psychotic? Not that it’s a contest, but I have to say her evil laughter surpassed Nightmare Moon’s.”
Luna chuckled. “That is one way to describe it. It makes sense, I suppose… My desire was to make ponies adore me, yours was to be yourself at all costs.”
“Was,” Celestia said, smiling. “That’s behind both of us.”
Luna smiled. “You are right… Nightmare Moon and Daybreaker both are merely nightmares. But the next time you deal with her - with either of them - in your dreams, I will join you, and we will deal with them together. Hopefully, forever.”
“And you need but bring me into your own dreams if you have similar troubles with Nightmare Moon. But I don’t think that will be necessary for either of us… I told Daybreaker she would never be a part of me again, and I meant it. And I know Nightmare Moon is long behind you as well.” Celestia nodded and smiled. “Good night, sister. I love you, always.”
“Always, sister.” Luna offered a parting smile before passing through the doors, and letting them gently close behind her.
Celestia remained in the dining room, watching the sky outside until the moon rose above the horizon. “As the sun rises, so does the moon... together in Harmony."
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Celestia, what would it take for you to become the awesome Corona Blaze (and not the lame and rather self-contradictory name ‘Daybreaker’)?
Celestia grits her teeth, “Sparkly vampires becoming canon in Equestria...”
Yes, I can understand completely.
this requires a new “ DayBreaker “ character tag.
FACE THE DAY WITH CELESTIA!
I think that, were I to turn evil, it would be a combination of these two. Like Luna, I often feel isolated from others by my own weirdness. Yet instead of wanting to force people to love me, I would take Celestia’s route, and try to find a place to be completely myself, regardless of who I hurt in the process.
This is a great analysis of the possible origin of Daybreaker!
HEADCANON = ACCEPTED
Hmm... How to break the day....
Steal the cake...
8217435
Umm... that actually happened... changlings 2.0.
Whelp. I guess equestria is doomed.
8217435
The reason she’s named the (NOT contradictory) Daybreaker is because she’d go from being the herald of the daytime itself, bringing it so that her little ponies could live and grow in the light, to a selfish, cruel psycho, breaking the very concept that all of ponykind had come to know as ‘day’. Sure, the time the sun was up would still be called day, as they wouldn’t exactly have anything else to call it, but it wouldn’t be the ‘day’ that it once was. It would be fear, constantly having to walk on eggshells so that they didn’t displease the near all powerful angry sun beast that blazed the sun down on them.
Love it, all i can say.
8217435
8218714
I actually like the name Daybreaker more than most of the other names for “Nightmare Celestia” that I’ve heard. Leaving aside that it sounds cool and subtly connotes violent images, it has a different naming pattern than Nightmare Moon, unlike many of the fan names like Corona Blaze and the rather stupid “Daymare Sun” - the problem with those names is that they kinda imply that the character is “Nightmare Moon, but with light and day instead of darkness and night.”
The “Daybreaker” name isn’t like that, it has no relation to the “Nightmare Moon” name, which fits with the point of this story that Daybreaker isn’t Nightmare Moon with her polarity switched - she has her own motives and desires, just as Celestia is a different pony from Luna. The difference is more than just night and day.
If that all makes sense. On a side note, my favorite fan name I’ve seen for evil Celestia is “Doomsday Sun” (I think I got that from Fervidor, though I don’t know where they in turn got that from). Despite it being a play on Nightmare Moon, it uses an actual word that works the word “day” into it without seeming shoehorned...
here it seems you have some issue with a rogue italic tag.
Hmm it seems that it should be more appropriate “complementing”
8218774 The first of those two I can explain thus - when I imported this from Google Doc, it spawned a multitude of bold, italic, and underline tags for some reason, between paragraphs. I thought I’d gotten them all, but apparently not. The second I blame on homophones.
8218772
I always liked Solar Flare as a evil Celestia name. The rest like Daymare Sun or such meh. Daybreaker is nice too, kind of a pun on Daybreak aka Dawn
This was a nice story and I like the explanation that Luna gives about the fact that she knew Daybreaker’s name. It’s also nice that you mention the fact that Celestia left things for Luna as well which is something the actual episode neglects to mention. At least one nightmare was not dealt with that we could see which is the one of Doctor Whooves about a Weeping Angel.
8218923
Weeping angels!? Welp. Equestria is bucked.
Whatever you do. Don't. Blink.
I absolutely loved the story as it makes a ton of sense and seems legitimately canon.
And I agree. Some days I just feel like snapping, breaking free of society's chains. It's rather tempting sometimes.
Your not the only one who was inspired by A royal problem I had had an vague idea of creating a story with an evil Celestia
and Luna who never fell 
but never took them time for it. The second I saw the design for Daybreaker I could hardly keep from writing it. I didn’t much like the name though. Daybreaker just didn’t sound like a fierce villain. Not in the way Nightmare Moon did. That is one cool design though. I’m surprised that I don’t see more stories about it popping up.
This does seem legitimately cannon. I can totally see this happening. I would’ve gone with the fear and paranoia angle for Daybreakers catalyst, bu this was well done.
8218705 I get to help her exterminate da chernglerngs!
8218714 Daybreaker would fit a henchpony of NMM’s far better.
8218772 Sol Invictus FTW.
Awww, what a lovely headcanon! I like this a lot, you really thought out the reasons for why Daybreaker acted as she did, what could cause Celestia to become her, and even why Luna knew Daybreaker’s name (I briefly noticed that oddity as well). Very nice job, great spec fic!
8219686
Except it’s a play on the term usually connected with the dawn. Daybreak. As in the day is breaking through the night.
8220062 ...You know, it only just occurred to me that “Daybreakers” is the name of a vampire film I really liked... but yes, it is derived from a word for “dawn.”
8220603
LOVE THAT MOVIE.
8218685
WOAH NOW!... We’re trying to break the day, not cause a supernova.
This is a lovely, thoughtful story with excellent characterization and dialogue between Luna and Celestia, and a wonderful followup to the episode.
8220801
That tecnically would break it.... And everything else.
Damn it... Every time I see the picture for this fic drift by on my feed it looks like they're making out...
8217435
Corona Blaze sounds like a frat boy on a trip to Cancún.
Wow
I don't really know about this. I mean, I get the sentiment and I think you brought the intent across pretty well. Still, though, I'm not sure you really managed to give this story the particular mood that it is about.
Having her cup actually shatter in her grip would probably have been more cliché, but at the same time, I think it would have helped the scene. Your narration is very colorful and descriptive, no doubt, but at the same time, that all real expressions of emotion are in hypothetical makes it feel a bit... anemic.
By and large, well, this comes across as a casual conversation over a cup of tea, not as the deeply emotional confession it presents itself as. It's subjective, I'll admit, but the entire thing just feels so very calm and sedate. It's fitting in its own way, given the subject matter and the character, but I'm really getting the impression you meant for that conversation to be a whole lot more intense than it was.
8223157
I think it just goes to show that with every little action she takes affecting society around her, it's conditioned her outward emotions to be calm and passive regardless of her mood. She lets her voice slip, but the rest of her outward appearance is still stuck in the royal role. After all, having a calm attitude but the body language of someone about to beat the hell out of you wouldn't quite work in court.
8223467
Yeah, that's why I said it fits the subject of the story and the character very well. I'm not sure it's really conductive to the mood of the story, though.
8223157
Celestia (at least this version of her) has better control than that, and I'm not in the business of having characters act OOC to help a "mood" that wasn't even what I was going for in the first place. Besides, she's more the "Tranquil Fury" type rather than the type to just smash things when angry. That's what she's doing here. If I had to describe the "mood" I was going for, it'd be that sort of mood people have when talking a problem that's been resolved but was a hugely emotional at the time - or maybe talking about a friend who died long ago, and you've gotten over it but you still miss them and you still remember how you felt. I know this word has negative connotations, but I'd describe it as "brooding."
Not at all. The whole point of the story is that Celestia was able to put aside her negative emotions - why would she lose it now just by recalling those emotions? That's basically what she's doing - remembering how she felt at that time, but the second point of the story is how she doesn't feel that way anymore. Oh, her day is still oppressive and the nobility's jokes are still stupid, but she's accepted that as a necessary evil of her very necessary role, and she's had centuries more experience than she did back when she first dreamed of herself as Daybreaker.
8223726
Maybe you ought to have been. It gives the impression that you, yourself, didn't quite know what you were really going for in the story. You keep using all this strongly emotional language, all over the place, but the characters' actions just don't really bear it out. It's the kind of language that's usually supposed to denote barely restrained emotion and inner turmoil. She looks away from Luna "as if she didn't want her to see the look in her eyes," which is very much not the action of someone who has already dealt with the problem and isn't intensely upset by it anymore. It's the behaviour of someone who should be crushing a teacup in her grip, because she absolutely is upset.
It's very much a "show, don't tell" situation, is what I mean to say. The appropriate behaviour the character should be showing is actually present in every part of the story, but only as hypotheticals - and really, I mean, why? Just to make the point that Celestia is usually very self-possessed and controlled, repressing all that anger and annoyance she feels? That's the premise of the story, but not what should be portrayed in it, being an emotional conversation about emotional scars that are literally centuries old. It makes the tone of the story not really match up with the events in it. I think it would've been better for the hypotheticals to be actuals.
Just my opinion, though.
It's a nice supplement to the episode. Kudos.
8223787
Well, given that this was largely a character study, I'd be defeating my own purpose if I had either character be OOC. And you also seem to be making assumptions in the vein of "a character would do this-" without accounting for the fact that different people react to the same pressure in different ways, and depending on the situation. Celestia is in control of herself here, but this is also the first time she's told Luna about this - possibly the first time she's told anypony about it - and while she's buried those feelings, she buried them because she was ashamed of them.
I'm also not sure what you mean by "hypothetical" behavior. I wasn't aware body language and voice tone were hypothetical. They are actual and (if the speaker is being honest) reflect actual emotions. And with Celestia, that's all you're going to get when talking to her if there's no immediate problem, because she's not a very hammy pony at times like this. I mean, you seem to be suggesting that Celestia be all over the place with her actions, but she's just not that kind of pony.
This is in the short description.... Its very confusing and might need to be edited...
8223874
I might be expressing my point badly. I'm not really talking about what Celestia would do, because there is no Celestia, but rather what I think would be realistic behaviour from a person in a situation that's as emotionally intense as the language you use. With hypothetical, I mean lines like the one I originally quoted - things she could be doing, that are only described to express her emotional state as Luna perceives it, but that she then doesn't actually do.
I'm willing to agree to disagree there, though. It's a stylistic complaint, not a complaint about your portrayal of the character. It's somewhat subjective.
I thought this was an exceptional story. It helped that this was the first thing I saw after watching the episode and loving it, but I think you picked exactly the right questions to ask and just the right ways to answer them.
Such is one of the harsh realities of being an alicorn: you can wield ultimate power, but you shouldn't.
8223993
A person? I'm more interested about what a particular person would do. I mean, if you do things according to what generic "people" would do (which as I mentioned varies), then... well, I'm not really writing MLP fanfiction in this case. The story is, as I said, meant for Celestia and Luna, and what they would say or do. I guess I don't get what you're suggesting, or why, and I'd like to.
8223949
You should have seen what it was before... if you have any suggestions I'm open to them, because I honestly don't know how to make my point better. I thought it was pretty plain...
An excellent story, and an excellent follow-up to "A Royal Problem". I believe that we all have had to deal with the feeling that others' expectations are pulling us back, of wanting to just be free. Well-conceived.
A few errors:
You forgot to close the quote at "myself."
Extra apostrophe after "other's".
8224802
Fixed! Those troublesome little marks... there are situations where one can leave out a "close" quotation mark at the end of a speaking paragraph but that first mistake was not one of them...
8224842
It's good to see people amenable to being corrected. And you seem to have the rule well in hand; this particular close quote slipped past. As a writer myself, I have also seen errors slip past into published work,
8224859 I'm generally okay with being corrected, provided I can realize that I'm wrong and get over the embarrassment and frustration of having made such an error. But in this case, the error is clearly there, there is no arguing with it, and the only way I will be correct is if I fix it. Besides, at this point I've accepted that despite my best efforts a few typos will come up, and I'm just glad it doesn't seem to detract from the story.
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Now that the episode is finally out for everyone else, I can read this
8225095 Now, how long do we have to wait for a Daybreaker character tag?
Wonderful story. Indeed, the Royal Sisters' relationship is endlessly fertile ground for storytelling.
Here in the land of fiction, we can all be free