Glacia
Joined 27th Aug, 2012 ·
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I like the premise, and the descriptions of fat Celestia were nice.
But I’m disappointed that we didn’t get to see Celly gaining her weight. It makes sense that she’d just “wake up” a lot fatter than before; I have no complaints there. But after that, you have two scenes of her eating—her huge breakfast, then the bit where Luna force-feeds her cake—but Celly doesn’t gain any weight either time. Feels like a wasted opportunity to me. Especially since you already show Celly worrying about making it to the Day Court on time, so it would be really great to see her getting more and more concerned as she grows larger and finds it harder and harder to move. Maybe she even goes into panic as Luna stuffs her with so much cake she literally can’t move...
Still, you got my upvote.
I enjoyed it very much. Short and sweet. :3
8215956
First of all, thanks for your comment and suggestion! My original idea was to let her reach the daycourt, only to find a huge line of ponies waiting for her. She'd apologize for being late after which she'd lay down in her massive throne (She was a little too fat to sit comfortably). The ponies would bring her food and she'd have to grade it pretty much. Of course, Celly would be more interested in actually helping ponjes rather than pigging out. She'd ask one of her guards what's up and she'd learn that most ponies that wanted to get stuff done would visit Luna's court. Celly would be quite saddened by this and ashamed of her state. After stuffing herself, she'd take a nap in a semi-foodcomatose state after which she'd be woken up by one of her servants. The servants would notify her he'd woken her for dinner after which Celestia would panic and wake up.
Sadly this didn't make the cut due to time and word (Contest was 5k words max) limitations. Luna's intention (or rather my own :p) was to show how far Celestia had fallen from the image she once was. A mare with will-power, willing to do/sacrifice everything to help her ponies and to protect them. Imo hyper weight gain didn't really fit with that but you're right. It would've maybe made the ending a little more fitting/less rushed than it was now. I might consider it for future stories or for when Celestia needs to be taught another lesson ^^. Thanks for the suggestion.
8216587
Fair enough. Writing for a deadline and/or word count limit is a pain, alright. I can definitely see what you were going for now.
I’ve got my own preferences (I like the process of expansion more than the end product, and if you ask me, there’s no such thing as “too big”) so that’s certainly going to influence my suggestions.
8216587
Could you make another chapter or so? This is a good story.
8233141
Hmm, I'm not sure. I might in the future though it's a lot more likely I'll just write more one-shot fat fics really. I'm glad you liked it though!
8235405
Sad...It would have ben fun seeing what the princess would have done if she couldn't have controlled her eating habits and slowly kept having more trouble maneuvering till she reached immobility. But I understand.
Fantastic story, absolutely love it.
8302630
I'm happy to hear that ^^. Anything you would've liked to happen/see happen? I'm always curious to hear other people their fantasies and I'm somewhat considering a sequel
8302638
I'm sure you already know all of mine :p
8302638
If you do make another I look forward to it!
Maybe have the princess have another dream to continue were she left off. Maybe have her gain some more weight and continue to keep slowly gaining and becoming immobile, all the while she knows what's happening but she cant control her stomach.