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Kinni



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Gifted. This is the name given to beings who display abilities that go beyond the common sense of the world.

Equestria is about to enter a new age of superpowers, with many new Gifted emerging, and six heroines decide to form a group in order to help maintain stability in the world in the face of this upheaval.

They are the League of Harmony...

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 26 )

Interesting story. Looking forward to more chapters in the future. :pinkiehappy:

I do, of course, have to ask. Was this at least partially inspired by the general idea of my story? I ask because it seems to have some parallels... one of which being that Hero Souls was originally titled The Harmony League.

8208594 Actually no. The idea from this story came from reading The Legend of Mare Do Well, which is why Pinkie is Mare Do Well.

I think harmony league is just something natural to name a superhero story. There's another story called Harmony League of Equestria, at least.

*bouncing up and down in excitement*
I can't wait to see where you go with this! I really like the idea of the Mane Six as a superhero team.

8208601 Alright. Just idle curiosity. If nothing else I'm looking forward to reading this.

Very interesting.

My money is more ponies with powers
Good and bad.

Yeah, I agree with you.

Rainbow Dash is best at secret identities.

So pinkie is like Batman, and the Cakes are somewhat like Alfred? Huh.

I wonder what this means for the Elements of Harmony.

*whispers*
Please Starlight Glimmer as a supervillain... please...

The story is very intriguing. I love the premise you set up. All of the Main six's superhero personas and powers are pretty cool. Can't wait to see what happens next with the girls and all they will face. I wonder what role will Spike play into all of this.

The only negatives I seen from the story as a whole was the case of missing words, spelling, and parts where the narration was moving a little too fast. I also feel that certain parts should have been given more explanation so that the narration would flow slower and fluidly.

I think I will comment on each chapter, because I was this intrigued by the story.

I really like how you ease us into the characters. Showing both how different and yet how similar they are in the show. I was surprised to find that you would portray Luna as the fun sister between herself and Celestia. Or Fluttershy being a scientist and inventor.

I also noticed the subtle foreshadowing with regards to who has the gifts.

I hope someone will create the Mane Six's superhero identities. Especially Rarity's, because her description sound so beautiful and unique that I cannot quite picture it (I mean seriously, a costume that a multicolored dress/bodysuit with gems she uses to power herself?! How did you come up with all the varied designs?)

8314363
Thank you for your kind comments. About the designs, it really wasn't anything that special. I have some pretty solid ideas about the characters mindsets and abilities, as well as how they will develop, so I invented their designs based on their abilities and character, including some things I've only shown the barest indications of. There's still a lot of things I'm holding off on, so I'll hope you'll like it. The next chapter already has a lot written, and it is going to be one of the big ones.

8315095
Hmm, maybe, but it was definitly impressive. I honestly wouldn't of thought of some of the paths you took. And I do indeed believe I'll love what comes next. :pinkiehappy:

Starting out, you give a nice description of Ponyville at night, having a set of contradictions of being both a town (city?) that never sleeps, and yet in some places it does sleep. I'm admittedly curious as to whether you meant for Ponyville to be strictly a town or a city? Notably with the fact that this universe has much higher technology than the main show if Fluttershy's lab is of indication.

Then you showed us everybody suiting up to head on to the Everfree Forest, where something is mysteriously pushing them to. Like your description of how everybody changes into gear, as well as how they travel to destinations. You even gave a few more details of their usual life, subtle but good. (Also how each of the heroine’s voices).

And then came the meeting, which I feel was pretty awesome, seeing them all come together to find what has been calling them to the forest. And also a bit funny, considering that Dragon Mage might’ve felt a little overwhelmed by seeing various heroes meeting up all of the sudden.

Question: Is Dragon Mage's catchphrase "It's show time!"  based on anything? I feel like I heard that from Solid Snake for Super Smash Bros Brawl trailer.

8316215
A lot of people say those words, but I think the one that really stuck to my head was Beetlejuice.

Also, Ponyville is definitely a city.

8316719
Gotcha. Just that the usage of the word town along with city threw me off.

One more question on this chapter, does Gemstone's mask cover her mouth like Mare-Do-Well's does?

8224684
And other species too. Or at least, I think the Gift expands to other species.

8239724
They probably don't exist in this version of Equs.

Nice chapter! And even though it was rather long, it didn't really feel like it.

This chapter was definitely the action chapter, and it probably my personal favorite out of the origin story. We got to see how the girls fight, as well as how both slowly bus surely act as a team. Covering for each other, helping each other, doing attacks in synchronization. It all really fits.

How it ends is definitely surprise. I mean who would've known that it was Nightmare Moon who tricked them into coming so that she could take control of them as her own brainwashed warriors? With a powerful artifact to boot? One would be forgiven to think it was the Elements that was calling to them. But nope. Mare-Do-Well's swooping in to save the girls (twice) was pretty awesome.

The battles are done. and the heroines have their first victory, but what was the cost?

The fourth and final part of the Origins chapters takes things slow after the action battlefest that is Chapter 3. Many things are finally made clear, and the heroes begin to learn each other behind the mask.

Without anything spoiled, it was intersting seein the history of this world, and how things trully diverge from the show (you know, besides the superheroes and supervillains and gifts.:ajsmug:)

Their are still questions that are not quite made clear, like "What is Discord's role in this story?" (which we find out a bit next chapter) or "Does the power of Harmony still exist in some form?" (probably, most likely?) But this does not bother me that much, as the arc has made me satisfied for the time being.

And yes, I am really exicted when the story really kick into high gear! (Though personally, I felt it started back at Chapters 2 and 3 for me.)

Foreshadowing? I feel I might've seen one. Maybe this quote? " Millenia of work have made this society that won't fall to chaos easily, no matter what Discord tries." This seems to lend the question of just how powerful Discord is in this universe. Is he merely hiding out of boredom,
or is he actually weaker than normal?

At any rate, here's to a good job on the story arc "Origins"!

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