Siege of the Crystal Empire

by Mystic Mind

Chapter 9: Marching Out

(9: Marching Out)

The next morning, as dawn broke over the empire's skyline, the doors to the armoury swung open, revealing all the soldiers who were deemed fit enough to fight. With the loud clicks of his armour clasps, Emerald stood at the head of the army, leading both the entirety of the five-hundred strong force and a company of one-hundred specialist warriors which had been kept in reserve; the Crystal Lancers. Due to their naturally tough hides, the Crystal Ponies wore lighter armour than their counterparts in the Canterlot Guard, providing the flexibility that they needed to wield the signature weapon that made them the pride of the empire. Never had Emerald ever considered there would be a time where the sound of cracking gemstones would be satisfying to hear, but the desire to see his weapons pierce the heart of the Phantom Stallions had become the fuel for his battle-ready soul. By the way his soldiers carried flanged maces as their secondary weapon, it was evident that they were taking no chances when it came to a foe like this.

Behind Emerald, Meteor stood among the front ranks of Canterlot Guardponies—a mixture of Crystal Ponies, Pegasi and Earth Ponies who had banded together—the war-hammer she carried over her back was huge in comparison to the standard-issue heavy maces most of the ponies in her regiment held. The guardsponies who stood closest to the Lancers were the pole-hammer heavy infantry, their ranks packed much closer together than all other units in the army. They needed to be, as though they were no pushovers, Emerald knew that their lack of shields would always be an exploitable weakness. As long as they made use of their weapon's long reach, they would be ready to shatter the Phantom Stallions apart in harmony with their fellow warriors.

Despite not knowing any of the warriors by name, save for Emerald and Meteor, the way they carried their stances was enough to give Stellar the confidence that these were soldiers he could trust to hold the line. Combined with his responsibility to direct the attacks of the Unicorn Rangers from above, Stellar was determined to make sure that those who had once brought him to the brink of death would be little more than scrap metal by the end of the day.

There was no announcement to begin marching. There was no need. As the creaking doors to the upper district swung open, the ecstatic cheers of Crystal Pony citizens were all the empire's defenders needed to begin their march to war. The sound of applause could not hope to represent the vibrant emotions that these civilians felt towards the army. The seventh day of the siege had dawned, yet not a soul had given up, all displaying the same levels of motivation as they had back in the beginning. It didn't seem to matter how many ponies had died, or how many came back injured to the point where death was a preferred option. As long as there were troops to head back out the next day and defend their country, then there was hope.

Stellar also observed a particularly interesting phenomenon that was unique to the Crystal Ponies; their coats glowing at the peak of positive emotions. In fact, even their armour couldn't hide this magnificent shine. Quite the opposite; the armour amplified the glow. Stellar couldn't stop himself from grinning in wonder at this, even if his stomach still felt like it tied itself into knots. At the very least, he knew his brave face meant that his status as a hero would prevent Crystal Empire from falling for any terror tactics. They were far too hardy—though some would say stubborn—for that.

Even in times of war, the architecture of the empire had changed very little. Though he had been living here for several months now, he figured that after all that had happened so far, he shouldn't pass up a chance to admire its beauty one more time. Depending on how this battle went, there was a very real chance this would be the last time. From out of the central tower which housed the palace, each district formed with an ocean of sparkling blue towers, spread out in a snowflake pattern with broad archways between them to mark the threshold of solid crystals and selective greenery.

While many ponies elected to watch the march from inside the safety of their homes, Stellar could still see how much they were beaming with pride, showing none of the physical and mental toll he expected the siege would create. Once he arrived at the wall which separated the upper and middle districts—the third of three walls that had been constructed in the past year—the atmosphere made a dramatic change.

As the gates shut behind Stellar, the encouraging cheers of the crowd ceased, replaced with the distant echoes of war. All civilians, regardless of age, gender or physical ability, had been evacuated to the upper district for their own safety. The streets that would have been teaming with the hustle and bustle of everyday life were now deserted, leaving behind an eerie sense of stillness which made the shining Crystal Ponies duller by necessity. Just after passing through the second gate, Stellar's company broke off from the rest of the army, the rangers spreading out from the central boulevard to take up their positions along the outer wall.

This is it, then, Stellar thought to himself. Once more into the breach I go.

Comments

[Mystic Mind]

8203664 Thank you for the feedback! Here are some clarifications I hope you find helpful;

1: I was trying to imply that the trolls *are* monsters, but I think that some small line edits can fix that. I currently have my hands full editing the chapters that haven't been released yet, but I will get back to it.

2: Fair point. I think I was less going for a vibe of civility, and more that the shaman is the intelligent one among his race. I modeled the troll dialogue off the Orcs from Warhammer 40K, and the Dakspear Trolls from WoW. Though a more concise point won't hurt, I concede :).

3: This scene was intended to establish Moonshadow's level of threat. He sees the Trolls as disposable, but the Shaman sees worth in the alliance. Will consider how to adjust some dialogue options to make this clearer :).

4: This little error in dialogue can easily be fixed. I suppose I wanted to keep this initial fight short as it's just a skirmish, with Emerald quickly assessing the situation to command his troops and deal with the situation. Could you elaborate more on how you felt I was telling the audience the outcome instead of showing?

5: The reaction to Star Dust's death was tricky to write, as I wanted Emerald to react with confusion, but also have his attention divided by something else that's important. Everything goes downhill so fast, he can't comprehend what's happening. Not sure how I could change this specifically.

6: Moonshadow was whispering into Emerald's head directly with his magic. It's essentially telepathy.

I appreciate the critique! Cheers for keeping it constructive.

[The1Ryu]

gates shut behind Stellar, the encouraging cheers of the crowd ceased, replaced with the distant echoes of war

Again this is very confusing how the sounds of battle could be shell shocking the ponies in the castle's hospital when it couldn't be heard by the marching army until it was to the last ring.

Soon the troll forces were overrun, cut down by their blades while the mages shot down any that tried to trick the ponies into thinking they sustained heavier injuries than they had. Less than fifteen minutes after the train had derailed, the troll war band had been slain. With the skirmish over

In response to point 4 above, this line here tells me what happened in the battle, but doesn't show me what happened; it just gives me the facts. This scene should all be written out in detail, so I feel exhausted and satisfied at the end. Show don't tell is a difficult thing to get right, I'm always debating with myself over whether or not something I've written is showing my readers what's happening, or telling my readers what's happening.

To point 5, I just think he should act more horrified.

To point 6, I find that the line reads like he's talking to the armor not Emerald.

I'm glad you found my points helpful, I hope you found the rest likewise helpful.