Getting the Band Back Together

by FanOfMostEverything

Counterpoint

As the group approached their destination, they passed signs informing them that they were approaching Pyrite's Spectacular Circus and Magnificent Menagerie. Judging by the state of the place once they arrived, the signs may have been stolen from another circus. The tents were made more of patches than the original fabric. The elephants visibly longed to forget. The clowns didn't just seem aware that their iconic song was originally named "Entry of the Gladiators," but looked ready to swap out polka-dotted overalls and seltzer bottles for cuirasses and gladii at a moment's notice.

Mr. Discord glanced at his charges. Sonata he kept on a tight leash, though in deference to her dignity, it was invisible. It still snapped taut every now and then as she wandered off towards some new, brightly colored and/or deep-fried delight. Aria kept to his side, trying to look as stoic as possible. "You're drooling, Aria," he said with a smirk.

She wiped her mouth on the back of her arm, but not before wiping her eyes. "It's not fair. I can smell the negativity here, even over the grease. If I could just..." She brought a hand to her sternum, clutching at nothing. "This is torture."

"And just think," mused Mr. Discord, "Adagio has been dealing with this for weeks."

"Yeah." A grin crept across Aria's face like a shark among beachgoers. "Yeah, she has."

Another tug drew Mr. Discord's attention. "Really, Sonata, you must—"

"You guys! I found her!" Sonata, still straining, pointed at an open-air gallery and the posters plastering it, including one that featured a figure with unmistakably voluminous hair.

"Well now." Mr. Discord stroked his goatee. "That is convenient."

"That's a freak show," said Aria. And indeed, Adagio's poster lay among wolfmen, the absurdly obese, and other novel variations on the theme of humanity.

"This truly is a dying breed of attraction," said Mr. Discord. "Forget traveling circuses, I'd thought this sort of thing died out decades ago. Not that I ever bothered to validate that assumption. Shame on me."

Sonata turned to Aria. "You don't think she's pulling the Bunkum thing again, do you?"

Aria gave a noncommittal grunt. "Maybe if she's desperate enough to think that much concentrated misery can get her heartstone back before the freaks kill her."

"I feel I'm missing some context."

"We gave Patent Bunkum some tips on, uh..." Sonata toyed with her ponytail as she thought. "I think the term is 'human resources.'"

"I think it's 'freak management.'"

Sonata nodded. "Yeah, 'cause he used humans like resources."

Mr. Discord smirked. "Truly a man ahead of his time."

"Hey, he got people's money and we got fed. Disgust, scorn, roasted peanuts..." Aria shrugged. "It worked out."

"I see." Mr. Discord strode towards the sideshow. "Let us go see if history's repeating itself."

Their timing proved to be impeccable. As they settled in behind the small crowd, a dun-skinned fellow trudged along a stage that looked primarily designed to be broken up and hauled away at a moment's notice, seams and straps visible to anyone who cared to look. The basset hound-like ears of a donkey aspect were a good match for the emcee's hangdog expression. "Step right up, folks, the show's about to begin," he said with all the showmanship of a block of concrete. "I am Cozen, your guide to the weird and wondrous performers you will witness today. Do not be alarmed and do not attempt any of what you see at home, for even the most savage creature you see here is still a trained professional."

Mr. Discord rolled his eyes. "Take all the fun out of it, why don't you?" he muttered. Sure, he didn't want children to try their hand at ludicrous weightlifting or sword swallowing, but there was something to be said for preserving the mystique. On the other hand, he supposed the circus couldn't afford many lawsuits.

An elbow to the gut acted like a penny on the tracks of his train of thought. "Pipe down," hissed Aria. "You're talking to yourself."

"Am I?" Mr. Discord blinked half a dozen eyes as he realized that at some point in the last few minutes, he'd grown two extra heads. "Oh dear," he said in triplicate before reverting himself to what passed for normal. "How gauche. Good thing we're in the back; I'd hate to upstage anyone."

On stage, Cozen had been delivering listless patter the whole time. Now he moved towards a tarp over a wide cylinder a bit taller than he was and several times as broad. "And now," he droned, "we present a creature never before seen on Earth, a truly unique specimen unlike any other, even in the wake of Sunset Shimmer. For there are strongmen other than the Great Deltoid. There are bearded ladies beyond Madame Cuticle. But there is only one siren." He grabbed the tarp and pulled. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the one, the only—"

“Eh-hack! Kak blagh gakh cough wheeze expectorate.” Mr. Discord blinked owlishly behind pince-nez that hadn’t been pincing his nez a moment earlier. With all eyes on him, he cleared his throat. “Your pardon. Do forgive an old man.”

Sonata waved her arms like she was trying to take off, even her earfins spread in her excitement. “Hi, Adagio!” Aria just smirked at the third siren, who had been revealed far less ceremoniously than she'd likely intended.

The crowd began to murmur disapprovingly. Mr. Discord smirked despite himself as he felt the agitation radiate off of Adagio. To her credit, she betrayed none of it in her expression, just smiling and waving in what was clearly a modified dunk tank, wearing a sequined bandeau bikini top scandalously close to her skin tone and a mermaid tail that likely had a zipper hidden somewhere in the back. Her fellow performers were a bit less professional, particularly Deltoid, who was grinning like it was the best day of his life. He'd probably be turning red with suppressed laughter if his natural skin tone weren't the color of fresh beef, and he'd be bulging with it if that didn't seem to be his natural state of being.

Cozen cleared his throat. "W-well, this strange new world of ours has many surprises in it, after all." His voice took on something resembling enthusiasm, or at least enough volume to make him heard over the crowd. "Though even other sirens cannot claim the... purity of Adagio's heritage, as shown by her tail!"

Adagio did a flip, smacking her tailfin into the water's surface and placating most of the onlookers. A subtle glint caught Mr. Discord's eye as she did so.

"Not going to mess with the zipper?" Aria didn't even pretend to whisper.

Mr. Discord shrugged. "We've certainly gotten her attention at this point. No reason to antagonize her more than necessary."

"Because it's funny?"

"No constructive reason."

The trio watched more of the sideshow, but drifted away before its end. With the crowd's attention on promises of a truly grand finale, the group didn't even need magic for several minutes as they waited behind the stage.

"Hey," said a clown, or perhaps just a bum who'd donned greasepaint to fit in. "Restricted area. No customers—"

Mr. Discord waved a hand over the whitened face. "We're not the droids you're looking for."

The man's gaze went vacant. "You're not the droids I'm looking for."

"Move along."

"Move along, move along," the hobo-clown mumbled as he wandered off.

Aria gave Mr. Discord a flat look. "Seriously?"

"One must respect the classics."

Whatever Aria might have said to that was interrupted by Mr. Discord spotting their quarry, her hair working its way out of a towel's inadequate containment, her tail given way to bikini bottoms and sandals. Right now, it was a pleasant day on the cusp of summer, but Mr. Discord found himself wondering what she might do in cooler months. He put such thoughts aside as he rushed towards her. "Hello, Ms. Dazzle! I'm sure you know my compatriots, but allow me to introduce myself." He extended a hand. "I am—"

She barely spared him a glance as she walked past him. "John Q. Discord," she said distractedly, more focused on keeping as much hair within terrycloth as possible.

"Ah." Mr. Discord's wrist went limp with the sound of a deflating balloon. He cleared his throat and followed her, Aria and Sonata following when he passed them. "You have me at a disadvantage, it seems."

"Yours is one of the names I watched for ever since Tzar Grogar came to power in the nineteenth century," said Adagio, her disinterest palpable. "The Equestrians may think of us as monsters, but I remember the real dangers, the ones we noticed even in the oceans." The corners of her lips briefly twitched upwards. "When you came to prominence in science education of all things, it was something of a relief."

"Wait, you did what?" said Aria.

Adagio spared her a brief, bitter glance. "Oh, like you care. Why should you appreciate all the effort I put into keeping us safe from beings who might actually be able to threaten us in this world?"

"Yeah, 'cause you definitely kept us safe from humans. Who was it who wanted us to move to the Harmonic Front at the end of World War II? Bet we'd all look real good with nuclear suntans."

Mr. Discord clicked his tongue. "Really now, Ms. Blaze, this is hardly the time to dig up old grudges. Ms. Dazzle, I'm here to give you the offer of a lifetime—"

She held up a hand. "Save it. Even if I did want to take my chances with you, not having to worry about these two is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. They're your problem now." Her lips curled into a mirthless smile. "My condolences."

"Ms. Dazzle. Adagio. Please, be reasonable."

"That's rich, coming from the likes of you."

Mr. Discord rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, chaos spirit humor. The point is, I'm offering you everything you could possibly want."

She stopped and turned. The procession nearly bumped into her and one another. "You don't get it, do you?" she said, glaring up at Mr. Discord. "I already have everything I could possibly want. I'm adored. I'm admired. People gaze at me with wonder, envy, and awe. I've won. What more can you possibly offer me?"

Mr. Discord made a point of looking around, taking in everything the circus had to offer. "Dignity, perhaps?"

Adagio scoffed and whipped back around. Her hair passed straight through Mr. Discord, though Aria had no such defense and gave an insignant yelp as the wet mass smacked her. "Get out of my sight before I take that offer and shove it where it belongs."

Mr. Discord shook his head and sighed. "As you wish. Come, girls. Seems we won't be completing the set afterwards."

Sonata whimpered. "But..."

Adagio glared over her shoulder. "But what? You left me, remember? No takebacks. Get lost."

She didn't turn around as she heard the footsteps depart. Not until the last voice she expected said, "You know what surprises me?"

Adagio looked back at Aria. "The fact that you think that I care?"

"No. The fact that you've settled. The Adagio I know wouldn't be satisfied with anything but being the headline act. But here you are, in a sideshow."

"You've made your opinion of my leadership skills abundantly clear. And it's not like I'd be in charge with him around."

Aria shrugged, turned away, and flipped off Adagio one last time. "Whatever. Have fun picking soggy popcorn out of your tank for the rest of your life."

Adagio watched her go for a few steps, then walked off on her own path. A path to nowhere in particular, but hers all the same. It wasn't like she was any stranger to this sort of social construct. There was Pyrite, the preening king, and all the courtiers competing for his favor. True, few courts were this up front about their true nature; even the most eccentric Stirropean monarchs didn't have lion tamers for counts and tightrope walkers for earls. But no matter the time or place, every court had its share of clowns.

Some of them passed by Adagio, and she shuddered as she avoided eye contact. At least some courtly jesters could be counted on for decent conversation beyond the intrigue of who was plotting against whom. These...

One of them strode up to her, his enormous, floppy footsteps more intimidating than any of the Whinnycity crime bosses Adagio had sung to riches and ruin. "What are you doing out of your tank, freak?" he said, his frown twisting the lines of his painted smile.

"Getting some air."

"You got gills."

"That tank doesn't have an aerator."

He expressed his opinion of her need for oxygen with a very succinct grunt. "Your next show's in ten. Make it quick."

Adagio nodded. That wasn't precisely what he'd said word for word, but the past few weeks had quickly taught her how to ignore the bits of life she had no power to change. As she wrestled with the towel her hair was trying to swallow, she found herself thinking of Sonata. She was the one who'd come with that strategy for whiling away the centuries, after all. Focus on what positives she could. Of course, in that traitor's case, she didn't have enough brainpower to comprehend anything else, an edge Adagio couldn't claim. Though a few more weeks of the homemade paint thinner Cuticle called cotton candy liqueur might change that.

Aria would have probably handled the stuff just fi—

Adagio growled and forcibly cut off the thought. Those two showing up again had gotten her back into bad habits. She knew how that line of thought went, where it led: Absolutely nowhere. She was alone and powerless, more so than just about anyone else in this world. Her usual tactics for charming her way to whispering in the king's ear were out, but she could at least give a slower approach a try.

She made sure she wouldn't fall out of her costume—that was a mistake she'd never intended to make this century—and turned back to the sideshow.

"Knew I'd find you here," a voice even huskier than Adagio's said from her side.

She didn't even look, much less slow down. "Don't you have saps to milk?"

"I thought you'd appreciate taking precedence over my customers. Especially when I come with such important tidings."

Adagio gave a sidelong glare at the earth-aspect woman keeping pace with her, despite voluminous, star-spangled robes, several pounds of allegedly occult jewelry, and an immense turban pinned in place with what a brooch that depicted either a wailing spirit or a Dalmatian jalapeño. "That would require me to actually believe you were a seer."

"Oh, we're all seers," said Ghost Pepper, the circus's psychic. "First sight, anyway. Second sight's a lot rarer, and if you want anything useful out of the spirits, you need second hearing, anyway. Third sight? Don't get me started." She took a lock of vivid red hair that had slipped out of her turban and brushed against her pale, oddly waxy skin and tucked it back in. "Most days, even I just have the first one. A few minutes ago, I think I brushed fourth."

Adagio rolled her eyes. "You don't say."

"You do realize you made a tremendous mistake just now, yes?"

"I do. It's usually wisest to just ignore you."

That got a single chuckle from Ghost. "Cute. We both know I'm talking about you chopping off your nose to spite someone else's face."

"What, the idiots?" After a moment, Adagio added, "Specifically Aria and Sonata? That part of my life is over."

"You just don't want Deltoid to win that bet, do you?"

Adagio kept her gaze straight and her expression even. Definitely no shifts in either. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Please. He's been telling everyone in earshot how he'd bet you wouldn't last a month." Ghost huffed out another laugh. "And you know Deltoid. With him, everyone's in earshot."

Much as Adagio appreciated her sharper teeth, gritting them wasn't quite as satisfactory these days. "Must be terrible to be talked at by someone who can't take a hint."

"Real subtle, Dazzle."

"You know me, subtlety's my middle name," Adagio said as they approached the sideshow stage. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go zip up my gold lamé fishtail and flare my gills at a bunch of uncultured rubes."

"Which is so much better than the offer you turned down."

Adagio whirled on Ghost. "Oh, what do you know?"

The woman shrugged, making her accessories jangle like a tornado in a wind chime factory. "Not nearly as much as that nice young lady in Canterlot, but enough to see how much happier you'd be with Mr. Discord."

"Canterlot." It took much of Adagio's restraint not to spit. "Don't talk to me about Canterlot. That city is where my life fell apart."

"It's hard to put something back together when you walk away from the pieces."

"Get that one out of a fortune cookie, did you?"

"And if I did?" Ghost leaned closer. "What would it say if a cookie were wiser than you, o immortal conductor of strife?"

Adagio's gaze flitted between the woman and the stage. "Look, I have a show any second now. What do you want from me?"

"To say what we both know you're thinking."

"Fine. This place is horrible. My job is degrading in every sense imaginable. I lashed out at the closest things I've ever had to friends because I couldn't stand the sight of them." Adagio brought a hand to her cheek, her lips in a perfect little O of shock. "But oh no, they left already." She spun on a heel and made for the door. "I suppose I'll just have to stick with show business. Woe is me."

"Not exactly."

Adagio froze and turned back around. Mr. Discord smiled at her, his head poking out from underneath Ghost Pepper's turban.

There was really only one reasonable response. "What."

"Sunset isn't the only one who can pull off multipresence. Care to reconsider my offer?"

Adagio glared at Ghost. "Did he put you up to this?"

Ghost shrugged in response. "You remind me of one of my nieces. Girl sets herself up to be disappointed all the time. I think she enjoys it. You, however? You clearly don't."

Adagio looked back and forth between the two of them. Finally, she smirked. "You know what? Fine. But the moment I decide serving you is worse than this two-bit three-ring, I'm leaving." She extended her hand.

Mr. Discord gave a grin with just a few too many teeth. "Then I'll just have to make sure that never happens, won't I?" He took her hand and pulled her within the turban.

After a moment of utter confusion, where Adagio not only couldn't tell which way was up, but whether up even existed, she found herself in a kitchen where gravity seemed more like a suggestion. She collapsed, grateful to hit a chair rather than the floor.

Then Sonata struck like a pouncing mimic octopus, clutching limbs and all. "You changed your mind!"

"Let go of me or I'll change it again."

Sonata obeyed her. Adagio considered that. She smiled.

"Shit, you're here. Dibs on the first shower every morning."

She stopped smiling. "You're paying me back for every hair care product you poured in that bathtub."

Aria laughed at that and walked away. "Gonna go punch cops in the basement," she said to no one in particular.

"If it's any consolation," Mr. Discord said from the other side of the kitchen table, where he definitely hadn't been before, "imagine the look on your former employer's face when he realizes one of his truly irreplaceable attractions has gone AWOL."

And with that, Adagio began smiling again.

Author's Note:

Pyrite and Cozen are the creations of PatchworkPoltergeist, originating in The Last Human: A Tale of the Pre-Classical Era, used with permission. I needed someone to manage a freakshow, and they haven't had work since 2012. Don't you love mutually beneficial arrangements? (Granted, I never really found a place to use Pyrite himself, but he's there in the background.)

The Wingding Bros. & Bunkum and Haybale's Circus hasn't quite given its last performance by this point in the timeline, but that final curtain is only months away. I can only assume Pyrite's resorted to black magic to keep his own operation afloat. Possibly literally. ("See the angst monster, thirteenth wonder of the world!")

Ghost Pepper may or may not be related to Wallflower Blush on her father's side. The genealogy of a family whose talents revolve around the lost and forgotten can be tricky to track. Here's an attempt at her icon. Please remember that I'm working with freeware and a touchpad.

Say what you will, Mr. Discord has a terrifyingly good grasp on siren psychology.

Comments

[Malandy]

Patent Bunkum

P.T. Barum! Whooo! P.T -> Patent! Nice!

That got a shrug. "You remind me of one of my nieces. Girl sets herself up to be disappointed all the time. I think she enjoys it. You, however? You clearly don't."

That's Discord, right? Not Ghost Pepper speaking? If it's Discord, I guess he's speaking about Luna?

----

"Yours is one of the names I watched for ever since Tzar Grogar came to power in the nineteenth century," said Adagio, her disinterest palpable. "The Equestrians may think of us as monsters, but I remember the real dangers, the ones we noticed even in the oceans." The corners of her lips briefly twitched upwards. "When you came to prominence in science education of all things, it was something of a relief."

Cool! Use those similarities!

----

Mr. Discord found himself wondering what she might do in cooler months.

Interesting... Could ship, although, if Group Precipitation's You All Bleat In A Tavern is canon, then not going for it...

But, GP's not canon until confirmed, so I feel fine about shipping away!

----

Are the Sirens' ever gonna get their heartstones back? Possibly, if the idea about them being able to regenerate is true...

... Hmm... If they through the portal, what would they look like? Would they even fit? ... Oh wait, not pure Siren anymore, Human-Siren hybrids?

[Luna Aeterna Solutae]

9224056
Probably not. The Sirens were huge.

[FanOfMostEverything]

9224056
That was meant to be Ghost Pepper speaking. I've adjusted that paragraph to make it clearer. Human Luna grew out of her self-defeating phase years ago. (One interesting parallel between the Equestrian Discord and Luna, and to an extent, even Celestia, is that with great power comes great immaturity. Though the diarchs are much better at putting on more serious facades. Most of the time.)

Definitely no Mr. Discord/Adagio shipping intended. He was just wondering what she'd do between shows in weather cold enough that walking around in a bikini wouldn't be an option. Whether you consider her chronological, physical, or mental age, the difference is downright squicky. He's subconsciously put her in a mental space Celestia used to occupy: A psuedodaughter whose behavior oscillates between older and younger than expected for her age, and who resents him for some reason he can't fathom at any given part of the cycle.

And, bringing in 9224129 for this last answer, as P-Twilight said at the time, the sirens were turned into humans at the finale of the Battle of the Bands. Their magic is still siren-aspected, but the physical and thaumic scars remain, and may never be healed. If they were to go back through the portal, they wouldn't transform at all, same as other native humans. (Sunset would, of course, be an alicorn, but leaving the universe won't be a realistic option for her for decades if not centuries to come.)

[Thought Prism]

Yep. Still funny and captures the characters well.

[Bugsydor]

Please remember that I'm working with freeware and a touchpad.

I would like to point out that Inkscape is also freeware, and that vector art programs require a lot less fine motor control than MS Paint does to draw smooth lines.

That said, this was a fun chapter. Grats on getting the band back together!

[Eroraf86]

Discord is just ... the best. As always. Also, obligatory Phineas and Ferb reference.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/phineasandferb/images/a/ac/Phineas_saying_%22Dude%21_We%27re_getting_the_band_back_together%21%22.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/640?cb=20130726171654

[Boltstrike58]

"Yours is one of the names I watched for ever since Tzar Grogar came to power in the nineteenth century," said Adagio, her disinterest palpable. "The Equestrians may think of us as monsters, but I remember the real dangers, the ones we noticed even in the oceans." The corners of her lips briefly twitched upwards. "When you came to prominence in science education of all things, it was something of a relief."

Huh. Is there a president Sombra somewhere?

[FanOfMostEverything]

9224716
Duly noted for future reference. Thanks.

And yes, it's a relief to have this one nearly finished. Just the epilogue left, and that's already outlined.

9225470
Who did you think was the principal at Crystal Prep before Cinch?

[Orbiting Kettle]

"Where's my perfomer!?"
"A Godling pulled her away through my turban."
"...again?"

[howard035]

Well Mr. Discord has successfully wrangled himself a nest of cobras, the question now is what he'll do with it.

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

“Eh-hack! Kak blagh gakh cough wheeze expectorate.” Mr. Discord blinked owlishly behind pince-nez that hadn’t been pincing his nez a moment earlier. With all eyes on him, he cleared his throat. “Your pardon. Do forgive an old man.”

"You've made your opinion of my leadership skills abundantly clear. And it's not like I'd be in charge with him around."

Can't argue there.

And with that, Adagio began smiling again.

I hope it's a 'happy' smile and not the one that involves a plan being developed.