• Published 28th May 2017
  • 2,355 Views, 48 Comments

The Queen Dress - River Road



Set in the Bodyguard AU; Twilight Sparkle just wants to do her duty as a guard, but how to do that when Princess Rarity keeps avoiding her after their last argument?

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Queen

“Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh! She did all that for you?” Princess Sweetie Belle squeed and ran a small circle before pausing and looking back at Twilight with a dubious expression. “But wait… if she made this amazing perfect dress just for you, why have I never seen you wearing it?”

Twilight blushed. “I just thought… it really doesn’t feel like a simple guard like me should wear a dress like that, one that the Queen herself made.” She leaned in to whisper into the Princess’ ear. “So I’m saving it for a very special occasion.”

Sweetie Belle blinked in confusion, then gasped and whispered back excitedly. “You mean–“

“And just what are you two whispering about?” They both froze and turned their heads to see Rarity standing in the door to the bathroom, primped and propered to perfection as she always was after these sessions and narrowing her eyes at them. “Spreading gossip behind your Queen’s back, Twilight? For shame.”

Twilight gave her a sheepish grin, turning to completely focus on the Queen. “Well, technically you were the one standing behind my back…”

Rarity scrunched slightly, or rather she didn’t and it was surely just in Twilight’s imagination since royalty didn’t scrunch, not to mention the wrinkles it would give her (which Twilight thought were usually just in Rarity’s imagination). “That’s completely beside the point. I should- Sweetie Belle, put that down!”

Twilight blinked and whirled around, ready to protect Sweetie Belle (and possibly whatever piece of decoration she had gotten her hooves on) from the greatest threat to the young Princess’ wellbeing: the Princess herself.

…only to see the Princess still sitting exactly where she had been, smiling innocently at her. Twilight had just enough time to realize she had been tricked before she felt the tingle of magic on her tail and was jerked off her hooves.

Rarity turned around on the spot, nose in the air as she stalked back into the bathroom and horn aglow as she dragged her floundering guard with her. “Now, since apparently you don’t appreciate that I shortened my morning ablutions to spend more time with you, I believe I will use the time saved to make you a little more presentable instead. Don’t worry, I promise it won’t hurt… much.

Twilight flailed and scrambled, trying to find purchase on the smooth marble floor with her forelegs, while simultaneously trying not to cause any scratches, scuffs or dents in it as that would truly bring the Queen’s fashionable wrath down on her. Raising one hoof she stretched it out towards Sweetie Belle in one last begging plea. “Princess, help!”

“Trying to turn my own family against me? One might almost think you were putting your own safety above mine. Really, the things I have to put up with from my guard…”

Princess Sweetie Belle watched as Rarity’s magic closed the door on a last fading cry of “Avenge meeeeee!” She watched it for a few moments longer, then giggled and stood up, humming and prancing happily back out into the rest of the castle, with a new story and a secret from Twilight that even her sister didn’t know.

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Comments ( 43 )

The AU actually belongs to the artist, Earthsong9405.:twilightblush:

8194722
It was originally created by the artist, but this story is based on Mono's fics. I assume that by now they've deviated enough from the original to be considered their own AU, though I wouldn't know that because I've never been able to find a convenient collection of the artist's pictures and accompanying story snippets. :unsuresweetie:

8194727 Well, here's her tumblr. Mono usually credits with this. And here's her DA. Hope that helps!

Very darling and sweet. This feels spot on to the Guardverse and I'm sure Earthsong would be proud. I don't know why you broke it into three chapters rather than have it as a single long chapter which would've let it flow nicer is my main critique.

At any rate good luck in the contest :)

8194968
It was originally meant to be a single chapter, up until I realized two things at the end of writing the flashback; that I really wanted to have the scene with Rarity snuggling up to Twilight as a high point at the end, but didn't want to just give up on the epilogue, and that making three chapters out of it would make it so much easier to keep a decent flow with the flashback. The way I was originally going to write it, I either would've had the whole flashback in a quote, or would've had the parts playing in the 'present' written normally at the start and end, but in quotes during the flashback (or would have made chapter breaks between the present and past parts of the main chapter, while also having them between the regular parts of the flashback, which would have completely confused some readers). It seems a little strange with the short prologue and epilogue, but I think it worked out better than any of the alternatives.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm glad you think I did well on capturing the tone of the AU. I only had Mono's stories to go on, so it's actually a surprise to hear that I managed to hit the tone of the original original 'verse, too. :twilightsheepish:

As if judging for this contest was not hard enough already.

Very nice work River, I'm so proud of you. :heart:

Yeahhhhh featurebox boiii

Would love to see a sequel to this maybe a one shot wedding day, also both the cover art and the description of the dress are quite good, also at first when i saw the cover art i thought twi was crying

8195618
I'm pretty sure if there is ever going to be a story of the actual wedding, Mono called dibs, shotgun and everything else on it. (Note to self: Shotgun wedding between Twilight and Rarity. Magnum would probably do it.)

8195275
Muhahahah, I will make you despair with adorable Raritwi fluff! :pinkiecrazy:

8195289 8195303
Thanks. This contest was probably one of the best things that happened to me as a writer. :scootangel:

Well, that certainly paints a happier image than the wedding I envisioned...

8195856
Im sure there will still be more than enough gossiping and political intrigue. :coolphoto:

8195919
Well darn, that's what I get for not reading the full descriptions of all the contender stories. In my defense, they swarmed me all at once. :trixieshiftleft:

Still, I usually prefer stories with happier endings, so I will sail this AU ship and believe in their happy ending until it crashes and burns and probably beyond that.

8195944 Hey, to be fair, I'm massively avoiding all other contest entries, just so I don't get bitter when I inevitably lose.

8195977
Well, then I'm extra flattered that you decided to read this one. :pinkiesmile:

8196038
8195977
Oh hey, someone else had the brilliant idea of doing one in the bodyguard AU? Nice!

Though Im not sure how this AU's rules work, exactly... what happens if one of the stories contradict the other? Which is canon? Do they have to contact someone to decide?

I'm the digital artist for the Lunaverse group and they have this whole, like, council thing set up to decide what stories become canon in their AU, and the others become fanfiction *of* the fanfiction! :D

8196327 The Bodyguard AU mostly benefits from the fact that the artist who came up with it has basically only nailed down character roles. There's no real timeline.

8196339
Hmm... interesting. If I ever get around to making the AU I want to make then I might want an arrangement kind of like that!

8196327 8196339
I'd fully accepted that my story would probably just be an optional side canon when I wrote it, if only because of the timeline. The flashback is definitely set after "The Masquerade" and "Sleeping Arrangements", but that would mean that they are still bickering like that after years of knowing each other so... we'll just ignore that little bit of information in The Masquerade, probably.

8196348 See, it's somewhat muddled by the fact that Mono's canon and the 'actual' canon are separate entities.

Heh, okay. That answer to "why the wings" was 100% cheesy. I loved it. Mono would know about cheese and thus clearly 100% approved. ;3

Dash is a pretty bad merc falling for something like that. Slacker. Totally. AJ vs Twi, given how op guard Twi has been described as and being so undefeated, I think I like this earlier inexperienced Twilight that underestimated earthponies. I wonder how things would have gone if Dash and AJ hadn't held back so much. Bad guard, bad. You'd think you'd have more training against unicorns.

That ending to Twi's story telling though, I swear that's stuff Mono used to hold back on outright doing so brazenly. So much so with how stuff and protocols Twilight tends to be about that stuff. Not much convincing needed I suppose. Well, it's certainly a fun addition to the verse.

Fluttershy being used in this story automatically added some bonus points. Good to see more of her and AJ and Dashie. Those three need more stories in the Guardverse. They're so horribly underrepresented.

I'm not sure I see Twi so easily and eagerly sliding into the same bed as the princess but that's probably because I've read too much of the restrained version of those two lovebirds from Mono's fics. Nitpicks aside it was cute and I'm sure Twi kept it professional. Could have used an annoyed Rarity coaxing the guard to stop ruining the moment and get in already with her "Come on, I don't bite. Too much." or something. ;3
(Please, this is unrestrained shipping. They totally made out all night through!


Somehow I thought this story had more comments. Odd. It's a rather lovely short piece.

8196713
Well, Rarity was far too tired to argue about anything like that, and Twilight was pretty tired and exhausted herself after those three weeks. The flashback plays after "Sleeping Arrangements", so it's not the first time it happened. I made sure to make it clear she kept her distance, though, although Rarity obviously wouldn't have that. :raritywink:

Well that was a wonderful addition to the contest! :raritystarry:

Don’t worry, I promise it won’t hurt… much.

Avenge meeeeee!

:rainbowderp: Not sure I want to know what goes on in there.

8196886
Fashion, darling. Merciless, cold fashion. :duck:

8196976 I love that answer :rainbowlaugh:

This was helluva cute. We need more of this verse. Moar!!! :flutterrage:

Ohhh, that's some wonderful fluff you have here. My favourite part was the description of Twilight wearing the dress.

8197219
Thank you. I honestly wasn't sure if I would be able to do that part justice. :pinkiesmile:

8197005
There is always need for moar. :rainbowkiss:

There's no point in defeating your enemies if you don't look fabulous doing it!

This is one of the cutest things I have read in a while. Nice work! :raritywink:

8198124
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I had a lot of fun writing it. :pinkiesmile:

8198122
You should always dress appropriately if you intend to make it somepony's funeral, darling. :duck:

To be honest, this story felt mildly disjointed to me. It set itself up as a didactic story, but then spent no time on the resolution, only on the romantic aspect.

Still fluffy and cute, of course.

This was super cute! I love that they were both so stubborn and that the reveal of the dress actually ended nicely without any big blow up from over-worked over-tired Rarity, and instead ended with everything working out. I also was really happy to see that the dress was actually the princess dress from canon, that was a great tie in. And that ending? So adorable. And I love that in your take on the AU, you chose to have half the focus on later on in their relationship, which is something that we haven't seen before in this AU, at least not by Mono and Earthsong as far as I know. AHHH their relationship is out in the open and Rarity is queen and Twilight's going to propose and she's going to wear the queen dress to the weddiiiinnnggg omgggggg. *cough* Like I said, love it.

Thank you for the great story!

8261751
Thank you for the great comment. I'm glad to hear you liked it that much (and it's not the Princess Dress anymore, it's the Queen Dress now. Hence the title :derpytongue2:)

As for the time the story plays, the first and last part are set shortly after "The Queen's Secret Crush", so it's actually just Sweetie Belle who knows (and Rainbow and Applejack who have a pretty good idea what's going on). The flashback is definitely after "The Masquerade", and probably around the same time as "Our Illusion".

Also, if you read between the lines I implied (non-canonically, of course) that most of Mono's stories in the AU are actually Twilight and Rarity telling Sweetie Belle stories of their relationship. :raritywink:

This was soo very, very adorable, and made me want to check out this AU, it seems really fun and interesting. Thank you.

8415412
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for leaving a comment. :twilightsmile:

Than you for the fun story.

I like this AU a bunch. Is there a timeline of the stories somewhere?

8416481
Not that I know of... Basically, you can read them in the order Monochromatic published them. :twilightsheepish:

8416481
Actually there is. Here you go.
https://www.fimfiction.net/bookshelf/864137/bg-au
If you look to the right, she has the 'Official' timeline.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This is only the second story in this AU I've read (the other being KingMoriarty's entry to this contest), so I have to ask: What is Fluttershy's role here?

8695818
She is part of the Kingdom's nobility and Rarity's best friend and confidante.

I hope you enjoyed the story, though I really recommend reading Mono's stories in the AU as well.

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