• Member Since 31st Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Ceffyl Dwr


So recite your needs, it's better off said.

E

A relaxing Saturday afternoon doesn't go quite to plan for Minuette, as she finds herself unexpectedly involved in a quest to track down a young filly's lost imaginary friend.

It's all cool, though. Minuette has got oodles of experience in finding imaginary friends.

Or replacing them.


One of my two entries for the Writeoff Association's May FiM Minific Round: Ignore It and It Will Go Away. Dedicated to everyone who commented on the original version, and who thus helped make this version a better interpretation of the original premise.

Chapters (2)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 24 )

The title alone has intrigued me. I will have to give this a look when I have time. Creative idea.

Growing old is mandatory, growing up, optional.

For those who are wondering, this is Strawberry Parchment.

D'awww! :pinkiesmile:

Possibly the most adorable fic I've ever read. 10/10!

Hnnnnng!

Yeah okay, this was REALLY cute. Excellent job my dude.

8199797 Growing old... mandatory you say? *Alondro leans out of a dark alley and opens his long trenchcoat, revealing rows of vials containing strange glowing liquids* I gots me some pure science extracts here what could solves all yer problems.

:trixieshiftright:

I've already read the Minific of this and loved it, and now there's more? I feel spoilt.

Will read and feedback soon!

AAIQU

Somebody needs to write a Drop Dead Fred crossover fic.

Good job, man. Very cute.

Writeoff Association's May FiM Minific Round: Ignore It and It Will Go Away.

Okay, I've heard some stupid dumbass names for contests but THAT has to have been made up!

Having now read this through, I have to say, I'm really impressed. The fact that you've managed to more than triple the length of this story and add so much depth, but still manage to make it flow so smoothly is brilliant. This piece has managed to retain all of its positives from the Writeoff, and has had much more added to it still.

The dialogue and interactions are wonderful. I constantly find your stories very easy and fulfilling to imagine, and this is no exception. Minuette's characterisation is great, her motivations and their eventual effect on the foals are very uplifting to read, the descriptions of surroundings, happenings, and (most importantly) the imagination are all on point, and the story is cute as anything to boot.

The part where she spoke with Alabaster made me smile like an idiot.

I wouldn't change one thing, 10/10.

AAIQU

Excellent, excellent, EXCELLENT! Just what I needed on a dreary afternoon! :pinkiehappy:

Sweet and adorable all around. Equestria may not have a Madame Foster, but Minuette's still doing good work.

I'm always impressed just how great Minuette can be despite not being at Colgate at all. It's like a 2-for-1 best pony sale!

Really good job at expanding this from the minific version. It didn't lose a bit of itself, and all the expansions make everything that was there fit much more solidly. It's pretty neat seeing edits in action and how much work can be done on something that already looks complete. Strawberry Parchment seems like a great choice here, looking at her roles, I'm kind of surprised it wasn't her originally. (Was that just a word-saving writeoff constraint? Pony names are the worst for that :( Speaking of, the lack of Minstrel means she will get her real spotlight in a pixie adventure some day, you can't convince me otherwise.)

11/10 would Adorbs Again! <3

It's such a great, refreshing, and unique idea too! I haven't seen anything so creative in a similar type of genre since Love, Chunibyo, and Other delusions!

Seriously, I would LOVE to see this made into a series or at least get a sequel! Sooooo gooood <3

Seriously, some of your best work to date <3 <3 <3

That was excellent. You did manage to clear all the ambiguity that was unfortunately in your Minific (probably because of the time constraint).

All the additions feels neat, adding more characterisation, explanation, interaction, comedy, fluff etc..., all of this kept balanced, without having one of them overwhelming the others.

I don’t think the pegasi are gonna appreciate you stealing their work and bringing in the rain early.

I don't remember mentionning it during the Writeoff but this line, it feels like an overused expression adults say to their kids. And this, without telling it. I might steal it one of these days :scootangel:

I only have on tiny little nitpick with the second sentence:

When imaginary friends disappeared, it tended to be for good. It meant you were growing up.

I don't really know if that's because I already guessed that with the first draft, but that second sentence feels a bit telly.

Aside from that, that was great, very in tone with the show. Very good job.

I am so much less imaginative than these ponies... any imaginary companion I've ever had has been a character I've stolen from some book.
... Usually more than one at once. I've had the whole of StarClan around me at times.

Discord looks a lot like a furry snake with wings... hmmm...

:pinkiegasp:

Discord is what happened when a bunch of imaginary friends screwed up a Fusion Dance!

:trollestia:

When imaginary friends disappeared, it tended to be for good. It meant you were growing up.

I never had an imaginary friend... I also began watching the evening news at age 2.

(Alondro was born an adult... it was weird.)

Thanks for all your comments, everyone. I very much appreciate you reading my story and taking the time to make them. :twilightsmile:

8199500
I'm glad the idea appeals to you, and I hope it at least mildly entertains when you get round to reading it!

8199797
#muchbettersummary

8200012
Thanks kindly for linking! :pinkiesmile:

8200017
8200691
That's very kind of you to say. Adorable and cute was what I was aiming for, so I'm delighted to hear that it delivered for you on that level.

8200959
Well, I can't take any credit for that! :trollestia: But it is adorable. Thank you kindly for the upvote!

8201423
Oh my, yes. Yes they do.

8201520
Well, in fairness the prompt was made up, by the person who submitted it. :scootangel: But if you check out the referenced link you'll see it was a genuine contest prompt.

8201551
Thank you, as always! I'm glad that you feel that the fic was able to be expanded without losing the core elements and tone of the original. It's one of the things I always worry about when expanding from minific rounds; when you take something that already feels completed and play around with it, you can often mess it all up.

8201574
Well how delightful to hear! :twilightsmile: Comments like that are always the ideal response to aim for when writing cute fluff. I'm glad that it worked for you.

8201674
That comment has crossover bait written all over it!

8201856
Cheers! I guess I came into the fandom a tad too late to really buy into the whole Colgate concept, so I'll have to just take your word for that. :ajsmug: Again, I'm always delighted to hear that the expansion actually worked, rather than something that has just become detrimental to the original premise. It was my original intention to use an existing filly, but I couldn't settle on one and, as you say, the names were slightly problematic when it came to getting the fic delivered in under 750 words. I recently saw the episode Strawberry was in, and it was like "Duh, obviously". So there you go. Yeah, maybe more Minstrel in the future, though I've kinda stepped away from writing Main Six fics these days

8201952
Thank you! :twilightblush: Some lovely comments there, and I'm delighted that you think that the idea has enough strength to carry a sequel/series. I'm not sure if I'm going to go in that direction, but it's good to know people think it might work.

8202143
Thank you very much for your comments here too. I was kinda hoping at least one person from the minific round would swing by and let me know whether this version addressed the issues in the original, and I appreciate you doing so. Glad to hear that those issues have been cleared up with the rewrite; I did feel that this was more consistent with premise execution and tone, and it's nice to see comments from others suggesting the same. Yes, I agree that line does come off a little bit heavy; it was the line I was most bothered by when writing, but clearly not enough to have addressed it at the time. Go figure, but a valid nitpick for sure.

I don't remember mentionning it during the Writeoff but this line, it feels like an overused expression adults say to their kids. And this, without telling it. I might steal it one of these days :scootangel:

:yay:

8202332
Structural Faults. You can find it on the link to the minific round (on the results tab). It'll be coming to the site at some point in the future, but it's a slightly larger and more complex undertaking than this fic was.

8204039
:rainbowlaugh:

8204531
:pinkiegasp: Bizarre, and yet so believable. [sequel idea generation intensifies]

8205419 Or perhaps Discord is what happened when two alicorns tried to bring their dual imaginary friend to life?

Eh... no. He's got too much power. That idea would need more refinement... perhaps something that took the form of their imaginary friend... a banished creature from a realm of madness who needed them to patch it up after a battle left it scarred and mutilated...

Something like a Jabberwocky from Underland... :raritywink:

She sure took well to being called immature.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!