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Novel-Idea


"Do it right and do it with style." - Author, Designer & Project Lead of the story-driven DLC Gardens of Equestria: This Coming Storm - (Patreon)


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  As an dark threat descends upon the Diamond Wall of Canterlot, an ancient treaty forces the deerkin to come to Equestria’s aid once more. To the Royal Five’s surprise, a single ambassador is sent instead of the army Equestria so desperately needs.
  And yet, this unique magic-wielding deerkin may hold the secret to Canterlot’s salvation… assuming she ever stops flirting with the young Astra Princess Twilight Sparkle.


"Unofficial" Entry in Monochromatic's "Interwoven Colours" RariTwi contest.
Featured on EquestriaDaily on July 4, 2017!


Historian's Note: Set deep within the infinite possibilities of the multiverse, this new world is completely unknown save for a very select few. Which is to say, that no knowledge of any other story is required to enjoy the whimsy of this tale.


Featured on FimFiction: May 28-31, 2017!


Cast: Astra Princess Twilight Sparkle & the Lady Rarity
Co-Starring: Aurorae Princess Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie Lulamoon & Shining Armor with a cameo by Radiant Hope


Cover & Section Break Design by Novel Idea
Virtrung Deerkin Rarity and Princess Twilight Sparkle by Jykinturah.

Virtrung Deer based on and inspired by the original concepts by Sirzi.

Beta Reader & Editor Credits
Ebon Quill - Audio Director & Quest Designer on The Manehattan Project
Little Tinker - Master of Systems at Poniverse & Scripting Engineer on The Manehattan Project
Beltorn - Commenter-at-Large on FimFiction
Cursori: Stolen Enchanted Library Editor
Monochromatic: This is entirely her fault, just so you know
Painted Heart: Wife of the Author :scootangel:

Word Count: 29,000
Version: 3.0

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 83 )

This looks like it could be something good. :rainbowkiss:

I don't get what "unofficial" means in this context. The only thing I can figure is that it's inspired by the contest but won't actually be entered?

Oh, probably because it's incomplete and a completed one would obliterate the request to keep it below 10k-ish words. Carry on.

8194919 In this case, it's both. I'm a judge for the contest, so this isn't actually in the running for the contest, but I still wanted in on the fun! And yeah... the final word count is almost triple what the goal was supposed to be. :twilightoops:

8194892 Hope you enjoy the rest of it just as much!

8194928 Oh yes, I forgot you were in the judges' list. In that case, you may expect to see my drivel submitted in about 7 hours.

Rarity being a doe was a bit surprising, but hardly a mark against what looks to be really good story! :twilightsmile:

And that's from someone who doesn't care much for Twilight/Rarity and is always sad when the isn't SunLight

Hmm...while I'm not particularly a fan of RariTwi as a ship, you've presented a very interesting AU concept here. Plus your version of Rarity is fun to read. So, at the very least, I'll be looking forward to what happens from here on out. :raritywink:

8195006 Well, she is on the cover like that! :twilightsmile:

8195044 Rarity was so much fun to write. Chapter Three though... that takes her dialogue to completely new level. It's gonna be glorious! :duck:

Monochromatic: This is entirely her fault, just so you know

fucking called it

What a neat little AU you've crafted here. I think Twi should've dunked Rares in the pond, though... :rainbowlaugh:

8196101 that's silly. She's not wearing a shabby hat at all.

8196101 Naw, she's far too freaked out about anypony flirting with her to actually do anything like that! :twilightblush:

8196163 I'm missing a reference and I know I should get it and it's driving me crazy! :rainbowderp:

going ot say it mean, "you have to be bucking kidding me, we going to die" or some kind of orth of love and loyality

8197011 Georg's Traveling Tutor and the Librarian. Green Grass wears a kinda beat up hat, and Twi dunks him a bunch.

Wait, this thing is updating?! I thought it was a one-shot! Is there anything else in this AU?

8197229 Eeyup, there's a few more instalments to come!

8197229 Two more chapters await! They come out tomorrow and Wednesday!

Man I'm loving the Rarity in this. Interesting AU setting, too.

8197299
nice! looking forward to it!

I see you are a fellow artist: do you plan on drawing characters in this AU more in the future? And where do you usually post your art, so I can follow you?

8198965 Oh I'm no artist. Jykinturah did the actual important artwork for it. I simply found a suitable background, did the text and some minor effects. I'm just a designer (as in, I'm pretty good at reworking what others have done with their permission).

As for the characters, they were inspired by Sirzi. I just decided to make a story to go with it!

An Action Romance.
Not bad. I approve.

8198978
I see! Well I still look forward to see more stories from this AU in any case!

You know, I'm not sure exactly what word I would use to describe how I feel about this story.



But I think I have an idea.

As much as I want to more of Wavelengths I also want to see more of this world as well. This was absolutely amazing.:raritystarry:

8199327 Glad you enjoyed it! Adventure romance is a bit of a tradition, isn't it? :twilightsmile:

8199398 We shall see!

8199787 Don't worry, Wavelengths is still beating at my brain demanding to be written. And it will be! :twilightsheepish:

RariTwi still isn't my preferred ship for either, but you've made it work quite well. :twilightsmile: Plus, I'm always a sucker for good AU lore and worldbuilding.

8199398 Seconded! This was full of delightful little AU-teasery and I want to learn more. :pinkiehappy:

I admit I'm a bit puzzled why Luna (rather than Celestia) is "aunt" to Twilight, given the nature of the connections going on. Maybe I'm assuming a connection to their magical roles that isn't actually there, though. :rainbowlaugh:

8200096 Well, now you've shipped them. YOU CAN'T GO BACK! :trollestia:

8200359 AUs are fun. Because I can pretty much do whatever the heck I want. :duck:

As for Celestia being Mother, in this particular universe, Celestia traditionally is the one who officially adopts ponies who ascend into the Royal Family, so she is automatically Mother. I also have this headcanon (currently) that she's the undisputed High Sovereign of Equestria and all other Princesses are equal beneath her. (Not entirely fleshed out at present, so no promises about that staying the same if I come back here!)

8200412 Oh, I will. Mark my words, I will. :rainbowdetermined2: I have a combined Sunlight-Rarijack (+a bunch of other non-shipping stuff) story in the works and my OTPs will not be denied!

So... at some point you're gonna do the whole visit to deer country and such, yeah?

Rarity gasped at the contact and shivered when Twilight delicately ran her feathers across the doe’s soul mark.
“You know…” Rarity said in a slightly shaky voice. “I do happen to know what that particular custom means.”

:raritystarry: :twilightblush:

Really well written combat this chapter. Plus the fun flirting and character work. Shining's interaction with Rarity was particularly fun.

8200494 StarTrix keeps sneaking into my stories. And Starlight annoys me! :derpyderp2: SHIP ALL THE THINGS.

8200605 Sure. Soon(TM) [Now, the real question... is it Blizzard Soon or Valve Soon?]

8200840 Of course that's the thing you comment on. Seriously, why did I expect anything different? :facehoof:

8201559 Go to Derpibooru. Search "Feathermarking," look through the pictures, and figure out how many of them Tcherno paid for personally.

Obviously that's what he's going to comment on! :P

8201579 Oh, I know. Trust me. I know. When you chat with the guy for as long as I have... feathermarking is pretty much canon. :ajbemused::rainbowderp:

8201587 At this point I'm waiting for it to happen in the friggin' show.

8201587
8201589
:rainbowkiss: If only, Jet.

be still, my beating heart...

Yo! Why did you stop this story? it has an easy set up to be a series. You already have a big bad, with the shadow things. It has a pretty big world that can be explored with the mix of other races as a base. Questions to be asked. What are the Shadow Generals up to? What dangers are to come? Are there other friends to be made? What about the other main6, are they be other races too? Is this the only battle won in this war? How will Twilight's and Rarity's relationship blossom? And that is just the immediate questions.

There is also the plot threads you could fallow. Deerkin and Pony relations, as well as the other races too. Introduction of the some of the main6. Another attack. (part of the first book) The Shadow Generals introduction. Possible fall of the main city. introduction to the rest of the main6. trials of love. trying to spy on the enemy. finding out what the shadows are.(second book) failed rallying the troops. fulfillment of love. news that the other princesses are safe. successful rallying the troops. taking back the city. and so on.

Point is you have a pretty big world you can work with and rules to it are something that isn't hard to fallow. Work with it and I wouldn't be surprised if people made fan works-fics trying to expand on the world you made.

“Are you sure, sis? You’re still upset. I can tell.”
Astra Princess Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes at Sunset Shimmer

19 words before Sunny shows up in a supposedly-not-Sunset-focused fic.
Unless, of course, you count her first spoken lines. In which case there was a single quotation mark before she showed up. :rainbowwild:
Not that I'm complaining. :raritywink:

As expected, the moment their eyes locked, Sunset’s vision pierced through Twilight’s feeble attempt at obfuscation.
“I hate it when you do that,” Twilight growled. “It’s not fair.”
“Count Blueblood,” Sunset all but hissed, ignoring Twilight’s protest.

Hey now! Mind reading not cool! What if her issue had been that she was having lewd fantasies about y--I mean...uh...Thoughts are private!

I have too many jokes I want to make. I'm never going to finish reading this.

“To see him squirm under your starfire?” Sunset let out a full-blown cackle. “Oh, that’s the stuff dreams are made of!”

Was that a pun?

“And try and be discreet this time!” Twilight called after them, knowing it would make no difference whatsoever. “Ugh. Nopony ever listens to me. Why should my own guards?”

I know, right? Your sister regularly reads your mind and then does whatever she thinks is best, regardless of your wishes, which she is fully aware of because she just read your mind. One of your guards regularly commits infringements upon ponies' minds of far greater severity, and your other guard has spoken in illeism for so long it actually sounds weirder when she speaks in the first person. Your life is hard, Twi. Also something about a war? But mostly the first three things.

Yet the strange… intensity didn’t fade.

And if it can get through Twilight's mental barriers, tempered by constant proximity to Starlight and Sunny, it is a powerful and sophisticated force indeed.

Twilight didn’t bother responding. This was mainly because she doubted she could respond. At least, respond with anything even vaguely coherent.

"Given the exquisite color of your face, you must be Princess Sunset Shimmer."

“Besides,” Twilight muttered to herself, “there’s no need to note how the doe’s coat reminds me of the early winter snow gracing the Crystal Cliffs.”

Twi... You need to spend less time with Sunny. You seem to be having trouble keeping your thoughts private from others.

“To match my skill against the Astra Princess herself would be a wonderfully entertaining diversion, even if I doubt I am as proficient in battle magic as one of the Royal Five.”

Yeah! Definitely not! You're definitely not as good at battle...stuff...than me!

I have to stop that. She’s my sister! Despite all the teasing, I know she loves me! It shouldn’t bother me every time somepony says something even close to her name! Just because I’m—ugh!

Seriously, tho, I was kidding about the lewd fantasies thing.

“You were staring again, my dear princess. I wished to know what had you so focused… and so very flustered.” She paused and cocked her head. “Oh, is startling somepony a common cause of flared wings?”

Wow, Twi. I take it back. Sunny doesn't need some kind of soul-gaze to read your mind.

“Tell me, Astra Princess, how old are you?”

"You, my deer, [pause for a moment for the pun] should know never to ask a lady her age."
*Rarity immediately gets up and disappears*
*World falls to ruin*
*Rarity, ten years later, is still balling her eyes out. Her father comforts her as the world ends around them.*
"This is why we don't leave the forest, my darling. And why we especially stay away from the ponies. They are vile, uncultured savages with only the basest sense of humor and a complete absence of taste."

“But you are the Astra Princess. I assumed you studied all forms of magic. Though, on further consideration, your sister may know more about this particular subject… while still knowing far less.”

Bow-chicka-bo...I give up. There are just too many, and I'm sure most of them are intentional.

Twilight’s eyes climbed up the enormous glittering spires of the palace she’d called home for the last decade. The ramparts where the ever-vigilant palace guards watched over the great city of Canterlot.

And there is Cadance, looking through her telescope. Her telescope that is pointed in a conspicuously not-skyward and clearly-this direction...And now she's waving. And giving a hoof-pump.

“So, you’re somehow under the impression that, since they are considered ‘common’ by your nobility, they have a ‘common’ daughter?”

Thank you. I was going to make a joke about this earlier, but it was too long, and Blueblood wasn't actually present.

Ornamented filigree dominated the center chestpiece which—to Twilight’s surprise—bore Twilight’s own soul mark.

I don't know what this means (I could guess, but meh) BUT SO HYPED!

Her horn ignited with magenta fire as she unleashed the teleport spell. The world around them went white.
A moment later, it snapped back into utter chaos.

YEEEAAAAHHHH BLOOD FOR THE BLOO--I mean, GO TEAM STARSILVER!

Panic overwhelmed her. She slashed wildly at the beast’s dragon-like snout.
And missed.
The thing’s head darted forward, each black fang in its horrid head nearly as long as Twilight’s foreleg.
This wasn’t the plan!

Oh, come on, Twi. You thought to yourself that you weren't as good as Sunny and the others, not that you were completely without any combat experience. This is sad. Where's the blood for th--shadows for the...Just go kill things, Twi.

With a savage cry, she darted forward and slammed her sword into the shadowflier’s exposed breast.
It twitched three times before exploding into smoke.

Ah, that's better. Alright then. Carry on.

Selene Princess Luna herself—as dark and beautiful as a midnight thunderstorm

Is it bad that any comparison, in any context, between a person and a thunderstorm reminds me of the line from Mistborn?

Whatever this siegebreaker was, it was made of sterner stuff than the shadowkin Twilight had heard about before.

Possible solutions, in the order that they appeared in my head:
1: Fire, which is unsurprisingly effective against almost anything that isn't explicitly linked to fire.
2: Freeze, if fire didn't work, ice is a good bet.
3: Keep cutting. There has to be a limit to the magical regeneration. Probably.
4: Hit the glowing weakspots for massive damage. Or just cut everywhere. Bound to hit it eventually.
5: Eat it. Maybe it is like the broccoli aliens in PPG. The only way to get rid of it is to eat it.
Most of these sound like solid ideas. #3 is a little shakey, since trolls just have constant regen, so that might not work.

Even as she fought, a golden radiance covered most of the battlefield, emphasized in places by the gigantic braziers set into the Diamond Wall.

Am I the only one whose first reaction image is of a giant, flaming bra stretched across the outside of the walls facing the oncoming hordes?
I am?
Hmm.

The sight of Mother in combat was enough to break through even Rarity’s aura of flippant nonchalance.
“Oh my,” Rarity murmured. “I never realized I would get to see the fury of the Solis Princess in such raw form…”

I want to say that she is just not flippant enough, but...really, I'd probably say something similar. with a bit more profanity, of course.

Pruinae Princess Cadance

Still not sure what is meant by this. Google says rime/hoarfrost (or some kind of powder coating?) but Cadance is about as far from the Ice-Queen trope as you could get.

In the center of the Glittering Boulevard, an enormous waygate hung in midair. It had to have been the one siegebreaker had emerged from.

Eugh. The Zerg have Protoss portal technology now? It's a good thing you have several Princesses of Blades.

Even as she watched, great black things swept out of the maw in slow-motion, materializing out of whatever chaotic dimension had spawned the shadowkin.

No, wait! It's the Ghost Zone!
...
BEWARE!

Diamond dogs were fighting to the north, stemming the tide from five small waygates near what had once been Gossamer Silk’s Auction House.

Duh! So obvious now! Portals and monsters from a chaotic dimension, a bare minimum of buffalo, a disproportionately large number of female characters, (soon-to-be) Burning Legions, and the only place an Auction House is even close to important enough to be mentioned!
Diablo!
...no? Oh, right, buffalo, not sheep.
Must be World of Warcraft.

There was a subtle ripple,

Aww yeah, the broken kind of teleportation!

and Rarity appeared before her, looking entirely unconcerned as she held out her blade before her. The creature ran straight into it, impaling its chest. The thing erupted into shadow after a single twitch.

HELL YEAH, RARITY! Abuse that teleportation!

This banter is wonderful. Well, Rarity is in top form anyway.

“You think you could keep up with me throwing this shield at your head, deerkin?” Shining Armor snarled as he lifted his great shield.

Not the most eloquent or clever bit I've heard, but a soldier in mid-battle probably isn't the best source of wit. (Despite numerous TV shows and movies that display evidence to the contrary.) And, much fun as it is, banter cannot last forever, one must eventually progress the plot.

“Not precisely what I had in mind for our first evening, but a little excitement never—”

This Rarity is wonderful.

“While I’m usually all for a reconciliation, perhaps we could leave the familial bonding for another time?” Rarity called as the blade started to whip around into figure-eights to fight a wave of two dozen tarwhelps as Starlight and Trixie were forced backward. “For instance… anytime other than during an invasion of nightmarish abominations?”

But you only really know it's real when you do it at some time that is ridiculously impractical. The best love moments always have a backdrop of a battle, or a train or boat about to leave, or some form of impending doom. Like if you were about to kiss your special somepony and someone else was about to eat the last Oreo. You swipe that Oreo as fast as you can and eat it slowly, savoring every delicious morsel, so that Oreo knows it's the most important thing in the world.

“Heru en' i' kela, vara sina amada inya ar' he` leuthil,” Rarity muttered.

Translation until I am told otherwise: "Deer Goddess, the things I do for a piece of tail."
Complete with pun. in case that was unclear.

“You shall not touch her!” Rarity bellowed in a decidedly unladylike tone.

Meaning she sounded exactly like Gandalf. As in her voice was suddenly two octaves lower than it normally was.

“Help…” Twilight gasped as she felt her wings go rigid. She refused to turn her head and look at what the venom was doing to her. She didn’t even know if she could be saved. In Twilight’s haste, she had forgotten to grab any of the antitoxin.

I was forced to put this chapter on hold for a couple of hours, and now that I come back and have reread this bit, everything suddenly feels more...dangerous? more dire? like the whole tone is different, despite the fact that I know I read the exact same thing just before leaving...
I need to hear a pun, innuendo, or excellent burn soon, before this case of super-srs virus infection gets too deep.

With a flare of power, Rarity removed Twilight’s armor and set it aside. She swore something in deerish and put her hooves on Twilight’s face.

Is Loamtongue the same as Deerish?
Is that a totally racist thing to ask?

“You fight this thing, you understand me?” Now, there was nothing but diamond in Rarity’s eyes. “I have several much more scandalous flirtations that I’ve not gotten to use on you and I refuse to let you mess things up by being consumed by this Pox! Not before we fully explore all your shades of red!”

Damn right, Rarity. Some ponies just have no sense of decorum or respect. Twi doesn't get to kick the proverbial bucket until you (and by extension, we) have gotten to see all fifty of those sha--
Ow!
What? Everybody knows that "shades" is the newest euphemism for porn. Like tail and plot. No one uses them anymore unless it means something dirty.
*Eyebrow Twiggle*

I could make a joke about half the lines in this list, but I'll keep it short.

Sunset’s whoop for joy at finding out that she had a sister other than Cadance, something she’d wanted for decades.

Some-immortal who had the potential to swing her way and wasn't bound in holy maretirmony. Too bad that ship is about to sail, but one out of two ain't bad, right?

Her catching Trixie and Starlight—again—in one of the broom closets.

"This isn't what it looks like."
"That's what you said the first time."
"uh...We can explain."
"That's what you said the fifth time."
"Well we ca...wait, the fifth time? That was the second time."
"No, the second, third, and fourth time, I just watched for a while and then left." *Walks back out the door*

The great monster above them paused. Twilight looked up just as the giant thing looked down with six enormous molten yellow eyes.

That...That is actually pretty disturbing. For some reason six eyes makes that so much worse.

Just a bit more and I’ll be completely safe, bound up in Rarity’s magic.
Twilight went red as her mind ran to strange places with that thought.

heh heh heh he--Ouch! I mean. Uh. Harmony, Twilight, show a little maturity, this is serious stuff.

Just before she blacked out, Rarity shouted her words again.
“She’s mine!”
Huh… that could have been fun…
Darkness claimed her.

Claimed by Rarity and the Darkness at the same time? Sounds like a fun three-wa--
Ow! Enough with the newspaper!

Good action. I definitely enjoy teleportation shenanigans, especially on a highly skilled individual. The snark is glorious. I hope Rarity doesn't take Shiny's vitriolic speech too personally. Lord of the armies is just a side-gig. His real job is, as it always has been, to verbally and potentially physically abuse any and all of his little sister's suitors.

8202972 Yeah, this is officially the most people have ever clamored for more of an AU from me. I'm even surprised at the reaction! I may very well come back to Diamondworld (name subject to change), but not yet. I do have a pretty bit Alternate Timeline I've invested a lot of time into.

As for why I stopped... well, the story was supposed to be a shipping story of Twi and Rares! :duck: :twilightsmile:

8204334

Bow-chicka-bo...I give up. There are just too many, and I'm sure most of them are intentional.

VICTORY IS MINE! :pinkiehappy:

8205089 Best Comment:

"This isn't what it looks like."
"That's what you said the first time."
"uh...We can explain."
"That's what you said the fifth time."
"Well we ca...wait, the fifth time? That was the second time."
"No, the second, third, and fourth time, I just watched for a while and then left." *Walks back out the door*

I was forced to put this chapter on hold for a couple of hours, and now that I come back and have reread this bit, everything suddenly feels more...dangerous? more dire? like the whole tone is different, despite the fact that I know I read the exact same thing just before leaving...

Well, poor Twi is being consumed by the Nightmare Pox. Need a bit of serious in there to amp up the tension. I mean... the other kind of tension.

“Heru en' i' kela, vara sina amada inya ar' he` leuthil,” Rarity muttered.
Translation until I am told otherwise: "Deer Goddess, the things I do for a piece of tail."

It's... close?

:twilightblush:e Rarity doesn't take Shiny's vitriolic speech too personally.Believe it or not, he was about twenty times as harsh in the first draft, then ten times as harsh in the second draft. Commander of Canterlot's defenses, fighting in a war to save his city and their supposed 'allies' send a single deer instead of an army? Or even a squad? Kinda insulting. :twilightoops:

Ow! Enough with the newspaper!

I'm sure I'm going to have to buy a LOT MORE newspapers before this over. :ajsmug:

8205089

Her catching Trixie and Starlight—again—in one of the broom closets.

At one point, Starlight tried hiding under Trixie’s ridiculous hat, and Trixie pretended to pull her out with a puff of smoke: “Ta-da!”

8206006 I can respect that. But as I said though, you have quite the world with Diamondworld. It has a lot that can be done with it. I know I would come back to read more.

One thing that I can see happening that you might want to keep in mind is that if you people might get in a tizzy if you don't make Rainbow a Griffin. Same thing might happen with the other main6 as well. Just be prepared for that.

Astra Princess Twilight Sparkle woke up, gently floating in an ocean of starlight.

Hey, now. That's not the ship on the tin! Or the bottle? In the bottle? Ship in the bottle? There's a joke somewhere in there.

Rarity hovered before her, wearing nothing but a smile.

Bow--wait, they're always naked...
Bow-chicka-bow-wow?

“Am I dead?” Twilight asked. It seemed like the most logical assumption.

"Almost, but we are holding the funeral in half an hour. Better hurry up and croak or you'll be late!
Or... you won't be late?"

“After a fashion.”

Golden pun material, right here. Fashion = Rarity. Figure out how to implement it.

“Is that so?” Stars glimmered with laughter all around them.

"Well since it's just Me and I here, why don't you tell me what you really think of Lady Ra--"

“I find it hard to believe that any virtrung, even one as stunningly gorgeous as the one I based you...

Oh, joke's already there.
Fine.

“She’s the real hero of that battle. Not me. She’s the one who saved the city. Saved me when I went in like an idiot trying to prove that I wasn’t just some stupid astronomer who accidentally became a commoner princess.”

Smack the stupid out of her mouth, Rarity! She shouldn't be talking like that! Only, y'know, don't use your crystal hooves. Those might seriously hurt. You should probably use something soft, like your face or lips or something. Also smack her gently, y'know? She's kinda fragile right now. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

“She wouldn’t.”
“She would.”
“She couldn’t.”
“She did,” Rarity tittered.

...So is that funeral thing still on the table?

“No, that’s not possible,” Twilight insisted. She shook her head. “You aren’t here.”

Twilight uses Reject this Reality.
It's not very effective.

“…You aren’t here,” Twilight repeated. Why is it so warm in here? Especially since this is a construct of my dreaming mind. “You. Aren’t. Here. This is just my mind playing tricks on me.”

Twilight uses Reject this Reality.
It's not very effective.

Twilight knew her face was bright crimson. “No. This is just my fantasy. Aren’t here. All in my head.”

Twilight uses Reject this Reality.
It's not very effective.

“You’re… you’re actually here?”

Reject this Reality is out of PP.
Twilight cannot use Reject this Reality.

“I said all that to you and you’re actually here.”

Twilight, obviously you are not listening, but if you were, you would realize that Rarity has been saying far more intimate and revealing things this whole time. Also be careful. This is your head, so don't start fantasizing while Rarity is still here. That could get awkward, even for this Rarity, and that is saying something.

“In fact, at least five of those ways indeed require a field,

My mind was still on Twilight for a moment, and I thought that meant a magnetic field at first glance. My mind conjured some very strange images, none of which actually make any sense.

though a meadow would be preferable.

And now I'm imagining a bunch of vines. But you don't really need vines if you have starsilver...

Rarity faded away until there was only her smile.
It suggested a great many things.
Then Twilight woke up.

Rarity uses Come Hither.
It's finally effective.
Twilight reverse-fainted.

Sunset’s eyes sparked with fire and her grin became almost transcendent...

"Oh what a day. What a lovely day. After you broke their lines, it was cleanup time. Do you know how many shadowkin I killed?"
"..."
"...oh, you're asking? Uh. no?"
"Me neither! I lost count around 250. Had to have been at least 500, tho. Also got to save Mom's flank! She'll never live that down. I'll make sure of it."
"But...didn't a bunch of ponies, like...die?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Damn, way to kill my buzz, Twi."

“The best part is, whatever was controlling these things apparently sent their full attack force into that single assault.

Wow. That is surprising. What kind of stereotypical literature villain ever throws their best stuff out first? And what kind of idiot commander doesn't keep anything in reserve? Sounds more like a last ditch effort on their part, rather than yours.

“You could at least pretend you have some decorum, Princess.”

"Ha! Me? You should have heard the things Rarity just said to innocent little Twily in her dreamscape."
"Wait! How do you know what Rarity said to me!?!"
"Hello, Twi. I can read minds?"
"Aauuugh!"
"Oh, and that funeral? I think Rarity would understand if you still wanted it. Embarrassment is a terribly painful way to die, and she would get to see so very many shades of re--"
"OUT! GET OUT!"

“Twi, I love you, but not like that. That would just be… creepy. Even if we’re not technically related.”
“You do realize the pony in your chambers is a direct contradiction of that fact, right?”
“Details, details,” Sunset scoffed, waving a hoof. “She’s not related at all. She’s not even from this universe. Anyway, Moonie likes her. The three of us are good together.”

Processing... Processing... Processing...
Conclusion not found.
Alt-Twi? Contradiction would be in the "I love you, but not like that."?
Alt-Sunny? Contradiction would be "I love you, but not like that" and "technically related"?
Coming up blank.

She’ll likely tease me anyway. Maybe this will result in a net loss of teasing.

Ever the optimist.

“You’re all evil!” Twilight grabbed her pillow and tried to hide again. Sunset’s magic flung that away from her.

Twilight's horn flared as she disappeared in a flash of light.
"What! I'll find he--"
Rarity lifted a hoof to forestall Sunset's promise. "...Wait for it..."
...
A burst of light found Twilight back in the bed looking ever-so-slightly less completely out of her depth. Her eyes darted to Sunset before settling on Rarity. "So...this book. Is what it says true?"
"Damn right it is, sis! You're gonna get hitche--" Sunset was interrupted by a flash that revealed Twilight standing beside her with a hoof on her side. This was immediately followed by another flash that left the room empty save for Lady Rarity. One more flash and Twilight was again standing in the room, now facing Rarity and short one nosy older sister.
"Tell me the Truth, Rarity. Is this real?" Her first sentence was almost lost under the sound of the surprised yelp coming from the red-and-yellow blur that was seen falling just outside the nearby window. Her second sentence was punctuated by the thud of an alicorn-shaped creature impacting the ground outside their second-floor window.
"I assure you, my dear, it is all true."
A voice echoed in from the window. "Alright, Twi. I deserved that. I'll see you tomorrow morning... ... ... ...If you can pull yourself out of your deer-friend by then!" A momentary blaze of teal magic shone through the window and then all was silent. But the damage had been done. Twi would be receiving subtle, congratulatory nods and suggestive eye-brow waggles from every stallion and most of the mares she made eye-contact with for the rest of the week.

“Get out!” Twilight snapped.
“But I wanna see how red she can make you!”
“I assure you,” Rarity declared with an utterly shameless smirk. “You may not want to see that. Adopted or not, she is your sister after all.”
Sunset jittered on her chair, unable to decide. Finally, Twilight had enough and vaporized Sunset’s chair with a flash of starfire. Her big sister dropped to the ground with a plop.

Aayyy, good to see the predictions of both words and mild physical violence both came true. :scootangel:

“That’s better. I do so enjoy proper recognition for my efforts!” Rarity beamed with pride as she leapt off of her bed with the grace only a deerkin could possess. “I always try to excel in all that I do.”

My god I love it so much.

“Our mages call it ‘The Interweaving of Colours.’”

"And they were from the Old World, so that word has a 'u' in it. I keep it there (despite it being completely unnecessary and strange looking) to remind me of the the mare I studied under. The mage who first told me about your soul-mark and why it showed up on all of my creations. You could say that she's the one who introduced us."
Heh. Mono was certainly the first one to get me hooked on Raritwi.

“And what a canvas it rests on!”

Smoooooth

contact with outsiders was looked upon as being… uncouth, to say the least.

Well, I mean...do all deer make as many thinly veiled sex jokes as you? Cuz that would get me stigmatized, I'm sure.

“You would really do that for me?”

F*** me, Rarity, you were an integral part of saving ponykind. You want a statue? Middle of central plaza. A constellation? Star is literally my first name, well, title, but you get the idea. A meeting? Tell me when and where and I'll teleport us there myself.

“Princess!” Rarity cut her off with a slash of her free hoof as tears fell from her eyes. “I am a selfish, vain creature. I did what I did out of self-interest and a desperate quest to find my purpose in life. Bond or no… one such as you deserves a creature who serves a greater purpose than her own desires.”

"Well that's easy. I'll just keep throwing myself into dangerous situations for the greater good, and you'll keep keeping me from getting killed. It'll be functionally identical to you doing things for the greater good!"
"I really don't like the direction this conversation is going."

Twilight had to admit that some part of her enjoyed seeing Rarity on the defensive. Twilight also suspected she wouldn’t be seeing it very often in the future. If ever.

Yeah, Twi, savor it. Like a fine piece of venison.
Although you'll be having that every night for a while yet.
AYOOOOOO!
Still got it. :rainbowdetermined2:

“From doing… th—”
“And that’s enough of that!” barked a voice from no more than two feet away.

Ah, good. I was wondering about that. The fun police are here.

At the door, Radiant Hope shoved both of them out. They landed with a thump on the marble floor outside the medical ward. Radiant Hope’s glower vanished and she smirked at both of them.

Ah, the fun police seem to have a corrupt cop on the payroll. Excellent.

“Twilight, dearest?”
“Um… yes?” Twilight mumbled, unsure as to what had just happened.
“Be more subtle than your bodyguards, okay?”

The three of them looked to their left at the similar pile of bodies and legs behind the now open door to the infirmary.
Trixie extricated herself from Starlight and stood up. "Yep. just as we thought, Starlight. There are definitely no termites in that door. We listened really hard and didn't hear anything, right Starlight?"
"Huh? Oh! Right! We didn't hear anything. Especially nothing about Soul-Ma--"
Trixie's horn suddenly glowed light pink and Starlight's mouth clamped shut while surrounded by an aura of the same color. Trixie saluted smartly. "So happy to see you up and walking again, Princess! And you as well, Lady Rarity! If you'll excuse us, we have to be literally anywhere else." Trixie proceeded to trot down the corridor and around a corner, dragging along a reverse-facing and prone Starlight Glimmer, who gave a surprisingly crisp salute (and the first of Twilight's many impending eye-brow waggles) before she disappeared from view.

So, who caught Twilight's comment about soul-marks back in the first chapter?

I remember her saying it, now that you mention it, but I did not connect those dots. To be fair, "the only reason I have a soul-mark is because we were bonded from the other side of the world ten years ago before we ever even met" was not a conclusion I had a reasonable chance of reaching. Still tho, I do love a discounted sentence or comment that makes sense in hindsight.

By the way, +10,000 Nerd Cred points for whoever can point out the Babylon 5 quote in here.

When I eventually write something I like, I'm going to put an obscure Mistborn quote in it, and no one is going to find it either. :eeyup:

Who says we have to stop the banter in order to advance the plot? Me? Well, I just wasn't being creative enough! The solution is obviousl! Make the banter the plot, and vice-versa! Very fun chapter. Normally my joke comments are all far sillier than the actual content of the chapter, without regard to the tone or logic of the piece. But in this case, many of them felt like just alternate paths the chapter could have taken. Is this a good thing? It feels like a good thing. :pinkiehappy:

Shipping, success!

Also, oh my goodness do I like the world building in this AU. Is this one you came up with for this story, or are there more stories in the setting?

8207144 Oh, I'm fairly sure no matter what I do, some people will go into a tizzy. People are always going into tizzies around this place. :raritywink:

8208076 Completely new! This was developed with some inspiration off of Sizri's work on the deer, but the whole Diamond City of Canterlot came straight from the maddened, chaotic depths of the insanity that some call my imagination. 'Tis a silly place. A strange place. A place few ever get a true glimpse of... and even fewer survive. :twilightoops:

Naw, it's mostly ponies in there. With a bit of Babylon 5. :pinkiehappy:

Smoke still rose over several sections of the old entertainment district and the airship docks.
However, there were no longer any lurking shadows in the city below.

Sunset had a blast on cleanup.
Like, a literal blast. the entertainment district was overrun, but it wasn't on fire before Sunny got there.
"I said I was sorry!"

After the ceremony celebrating the fall of the shadowkin waygates, the united strength of the Celestial Forces and Equestria’s allies had charged out of the repaired Harmony Gate.

And they let Sunset out of her corner.

While none of the shadowlords had been caught

Do they even know what the shadowlords look like?

Pruinae Princess Cadance, Radiant Hope and her mother, Countess Amore, had taken a veritable army of healers down into the catacombs that once housed Canterlot’s wealth.

Where they purified everyone using a massive amount of love energy generated from and equally massive orgy--Ouch! Who even has newspapers anymore!?!

Starlight danced between her feathers as she wove more gems in the sky

There was a moment where I pictured a tiny Starlight Glimmer doing ballet on Twilight's outstretched wing.

You stood upon the shore like a rock against the sea, battered but never breaking.

"Yeah, except this rock grabbed a couple other rocks and the prettiest gemstone it could find, leapt off a cliff into the lake of baddies and nearly got itself and its friends eaten and crushed and covered in barnacles!"
"Okay, I was with you up until the barnacles--"
"And then! The gemstone saved her from the barnacles and managed to seal up the fissure that was letting the water and the giant squid into the lake--"
"Hold on, are the shadowkin the water, or the sea creat--"
"And then the gemstone showed the rock the part of her that still had some rock attached, and revealed that she had been broken off from the rock many years earlier and the gemstone and the rock fit together perfectly."
"...dear, that's pretty, but I think the story works better if you just tell it using the ponies and shadowkin that were actually there."
"Yeah, but then I'd have to face the fact that I almost died to the Pox." *Twilight curls up on the ground*
*Hugs* "Oh, my dear princess! I'll protect you from the nasty barnacles and squids!"

Twilight blushed at the thought. She blushed harder when her mind conjured a deer and a different pony in their places. But she at least managed to keep her wings down.

Good. Don't make it too easy for Rarity to catch you fantasizing. Also the rest of the world doesn't need to know every time you look at Rarity's flank.

They could do anything they wished.

:rainbowdetermined2:

They could finally speak without interruption.

:rainbowhuh:

Twilight could find out everything she wanted to know about the Day Woods. Learn about the virtrung and their customs.

:rainbowderp:

But most importantly, Twilight could finally learn about Rarity.

:rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowdetermined2:

“And you know it. I was touching you… your soul… even half a world away.”

Y'know, we really ought to fix that. I don't know how comfortable I am having random not-even-ponies I don't even know touch my soul from the other side of the world. :rainbowlaugh:

I never even arranged for her ambassadorial quarters, Twilight realized, flushing.

Ha!

She hadn’t been thinking that far ahead. But Mother, Aunt Luna, Cadance or Sunset should have thought of it. Even Raven, the Seneschal of the Diamond Palace, should have suggested it after tonight’s feast! There was only one possible reason for such an oversight and that was—

HA! Oh, those ponies. Always pulling fast ones.

So what if their bodies had never been tog—

There is a big red "PANIC--KILL THOUGHT PROCESS" button in Twilight's mind that is getting a lot of use today.

“There is a difference between acting coy and acting silly.”

I was going to say "It's a pretty blurry line", but now that I think about it, I can see a clear difference. Ironically, if you are trying to be silly, you are being coy, you have to be trying to be serious in order to potentially think yourself silly. There's a strange contradiction in semantics.

But then Rarity would pout about it until I removed it…
Not worth it.

Totally worth it! I mean, obviously not to keep. But it would make for an incredibly entertaining few days. See how very shameless Rarity can get in pursuit of that blush.
See^^^Slice of Life chapter idea, right there.

Rarity smiled, as if amused by Twilight’s confusion. “You must understand, the only reason I was not ousted from the Day Woods years ago was due to my skill as a starsilver shaper. Yet there were many who still wanted me gone. When I came here and found you…” She swallowed, took a deep breath and plunged onward. “When I found you, I was afraid you might reject me outright. Think my tale ludicrous or some sort of deerkin game.

...I cannot believe it took me until I read the words "deerkin game" to think to make a joke about unfortunate Rarity's enforced absence from all reindeer playtime activities.

“And while my experience in friendships has dwindled in recent years, I believe commonality is traditionally an element that is usually required.”

Perfect, Rarity. Dig deep into that pony vocabulary. The quickest way to Twilight's flan--heart, to Twilight's heart is through her massive, literature-enhanced lexicon.

“I think that’s a better place to start than most have, don’t you?”
Rarity stared at her hoof for a short eternity before finally nodding and allowing Twilight to pull her up. Then, to Twilight’s surprise—and probably Rarity’s—Twilight grabbed the doe and pulled her into a hug: forehooves, wings and all. Rarity simply melted into it as if she were nothing more than a large minky blanket. Both doe and mare shivered at the contact, simply relishing the newfound realization that they were not alone.

Daaaaw. Awesome. It still would have been weird to suddenly be together together, not to mention this gives time (and wordspace? *eyebrow waggle*) for them to actually, non-magically fall in love.

Finally, Twilight opened her eyes… and happened to glance forward toward Sunset’s balcony.

Heh.

But the most noticeable difference was the glasses.

Hey! We do get an answer! And I guess this universe does follow the Sunlight constant. Now where oh where are AJ and RD...?

“She looks like…”

"Hmm? Who does she look like?"
"Uhmm. Well, you, obviously."
"Oh really? I hadn't noticed."
"Wha, but you--"
"Of course I noticed, Rarity! Glasses aren't actually a universal catch-all disguise!"

“No, I don’t,” Rarity admitted. “But I have an excellent imagination.”

*Rarity continues staring at Sunset's now-empty balcony, cheeks gradually reddening*
"Rarity! Stop fantasizing!"
"I'm sorry! It's just...You and Sunset!"
"Eww! We are sisters! That's like, illegal or something!"
"Oh please, dear, like the law has any say over the affairs of the heart."
"...You're supposed to object to the 'sisters' part, not the legality."
"Look me in the eye and tell me you haven't fantasized about her in the last 6 months."
"..."
"In the last month?"
"..."
"In the last week?"
"...I...haven't...Shut up. Next conversation."

Sunset winked at both of them, mouthed something that looked vaguely like ‘have fun,’

"We were just hugging!"
"Well, speaking from experience, sis? 'Hugging' wherever the urge hits you sounds like fun when you are doing it, but your back will be killing you in the morning."

So, Twilight turned and looked up at the stars once more. Rarity sidled up to Twilight. The alicorn wrapped one of her enormous lavender and silver wings around the doe.

Wing hug under the starry sky. All those hours spying on Sunny are paying off.

“Please tell me you didn’t just call me ‘dear.’” Rarity raised an imperious eyebrow at the alicorn princess.
“You’re the one who’s been calling me ‘my dear princess’ ever since we met!” Twilight protested. “I think it’s only fair!”

Twi, Twi, Twi. It's a race thing. You just can't say stuff like that, even if you hang out with them and your best friend is one. It's still not PC.

She didn’t even see Rarity’s work until Rarity’s eyelids fluttered open and Twilight saw the reflection of the night sky within those great blue eyes of hers.

That's some weapons grade romance, right there. I like it.

Twilight wasn’t really sure who kissed who first. After further thought, she realized it didn’t really matter all that much. After even further thought, she decided to stop thinking about it.

Finally the Kill thought process button is used for good.

It wouldn’t be until three days later on her throne that Twilight would learn their soul marks burned throughout the night. It would be Rarity that told her the correlation between what they had been doing and when their marks had been the brightest in the sky.

Who's the Alicorn 'a Love, now, bitches!
Alt:
Throw Sunny's stars up there, see how often they flare!
Alt:
Trixie and Starlight ain't got nothing on these two. Never again will Twilight crack jokes about their lack of subtlety.
Alt:
"Alright, Rarity, we can only...erm..."
"Copulate? Rut? Intercourse--"
"Be intimate! We can only--"
"...sleep together, consummate, make love..."
"--be intimate during the day! When the stars aren't out--"
"...get to work, have dinner, have some fun--"
"Th-Those aren't event euphemisms!"
"They weren't. But now I have inextricably linked three commonly used phrases with sex. You'll seem to blush at the most random comments right in the middle of court. It will be wonderful. So what do you say, my dear, it's the middle of the day? Want to go have some dinner?"
*One very fun, work-filled afternoon later*
"Y'know, sis. I didn't think you had it in you. Trying to outshine Mother's sun in the middle of the day? That takes some guts. And stamina."

Very fun story, loved the whole thing! Certainly delivered on the promise of banter. Also (sorta) linked into the sliders universe, so that's interesting. RariTwi focused romance story while still containing Sunlight (as if there were ever any doubt). I want to say "poor Twi", with all these ponies in her life relentlessly teasing her, but damn, she got the dame, so I don't actually feel bad for her at all.

I can understand the desire for a sequel, considering how many sequel hooks you left, but they don't really seem like the purpose of the story. The near-end of the world was just a back-drop. There are certainly more RariTwi scenes to be had, (they do have an eternity to have them) but the story wraps up nicely where it is. Don't think this means I wouldn't love to see one, tho. :scootangel:

Perhaps a visit from a 'verse-surfing Sunny or Twi in the inevitable spiritual sequel to Sunlight sliders?

8206018
I would probably tell her I'd buy it if she could get Starlight back in the hat.

8209027 I know, and I think it is great. People are way easy to get upset because you see things differently than them. I have trolled around the MLP fandom for that reason alone for a while now (not always trolling sometimes I try and help an author like yourself out). However, after offending so many people on YouTube, Deviant, and Tumblr to the point where they challenge me to write my own story I now have my own account here and plan to do just that... eventually. Let's see if my I can put my money where my mouth is. Lol

I was serious about your work though, I would come back to this to see how it goes if (or once) it continues.

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